


Changes of Nature

by BWolf_20



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alpha Rick Grimes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Birth, Blood and Violence, Character Death(s), Creepy, Fierce Negan, Forced Broken ties, Forced Separation, Heartbreaking Moments, Intense, Kidnapping, M/M, Milking, Molestation, Mpreg, NON-ROMANTIC RICK/NEGAN, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Non-Consensual Touching, Omega Harem, Omega Negan (Walking Dead), Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possible Male Lactation, Pregnant Sex, Psychological Trauma, STILL NOT A LOVE STORY!, Scary situations, Season 9 Inspirations, Sexual Harassment, War, broken Negan, missing person, references to the past, submissive negan, unexpected transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2019-10-12 10:15:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 42
Words: 110,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17465609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BWolf_20/pseuds/BWolf_20
Summary: Negan has gotten accustomed to his life as an Omega and mother, and for the most part his acceptance into the pack has been okay. Then a day comes when Rick disappears. Fearing what’s happened and that he’ll miss the birth of their third pup, Negan gives into his instincts and sets off to find his Alpha despite the dangers he’s bound to encounter.Changed Nature sequel





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> After considering it and even writing a little bit of a mini-story, I decided to write the sequel. I didn't think I'd go back to another A/O/B Walking dead fic after 'Changed Nature', but I did miss the universe I had developed for it from that story. Also, the current season is encouraging my interest for writing another Walking Dead fic.  
> I'm giving major kudos/credit to **Vespera328** for the idea of involving certain characters from season 9 ;) From the summary, something happens with Rick, but the idea came when I first shared the sequel idea upon concluding **"Changed Nature"**. So it's crazy Andrew Lincoln decided to leave afterwards.  
> PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THE TAGS! Definitely read "Changed Nature' before reading this. And this is still NOT a love story! Rick/Negan won't be getting romantic. It's all just A/O/B dynamics & instincts  
> Enjoy :)

Negan’s eyes fell upon the bat that Carl had taken from the pile of supplies a few of the Alexandrians had returned with from their latest run. He was chatting with two boys around his age as he tested out the bat with a few light swings. His expression remained impassive as he watched, but internally it was a different story. Naturally it triggered thoughts of Lucille; at least the bat version of her. And along with Lucille, he was reminded of his days as an Alpha. 

He had walked about Alexandria with the barbed wired bat draped over his shoulder, and his chest puffed out. His body had the perfect bulk of a powerful Alpha, creating the ideal example of an intimidating Alpha from afar. His gaze had been bold and his growl, deafening. No one had dared to fuck with him. But that had been another life; a past life. Thanks to a walker, he’d become a low level Omega incapable of intimidating a fly. Negan turned his gaze to his feet, determined not to let a bat of all things bring back memories. 

He wandered close to a scene of people who were moving supplies over to a table where two Beta women marked them for inventory. Negan took notice of Aaron as he lifted a large box onto their table and made his way over to him.

“Find any pup supplies out there, or were you just using the time to jack off?”

Aaron tossed him a mild glare before answering.

“We found a few things. Mark and I are separating them before we take them to your place.”

“You might as well give ‘em to me. I ain’t got shit to do right now.”

Aaron dropped his gaze down to Negan’s bulging belly.

“You’re not supposed to have shit to do when you’re eight months pregnant.”

Negan dropped a hand across his belly and rubbed it as his brow furrowed. Pup number three was on the way, and of course that meant he should be nesting at home while everyone else did the work. Normally that wouldn’t be a complaint since chores could quickly become annoying, but for the time being he wasn't keen on doing nothing.

“I wouldn’t count moving boxes from point A to fucking point B as hard labor.”

“The boxes are heavy Negan, and if Rick catches you doing any heavy lifting, he’ll be after my ass.”

Negan shot him a grin.

“Well, better your ass than mine. But seriously, I’m free for the moment, and I feel like lending a hand.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a Beta giving him a nasty glare. It did not matter that there was a pup in the oven. For a few, his status as a past bastard and kidnapper remained. But for others, it was a case where he was simply being tolerated. After four years, he found their hold on the past a little surprising as well as a little impressive. The Alexandrian pack was a tight knit stubborn group, and once someone became their enemy or their Alpha’s enemy, said person was branded that way for life.

“There’s no need Negan,” Aaron told him. “Taking care of your pups is more than enough. You want to be sure we have strong future Alphas, or Betas, or Omegas.”

The Omega grimaced at the thought.

“Hit the goddamn brakes on that. I’m not even ready for them to turn five. I’m sure as hell not ready to imagine them moving on.”

“Well, they still have some adorable years left in them, especially the unborn pup. And like I’ve said before, Aaron’s not a bad name.” Negan chuckled. “But really. Mark and I will drop off the supplies later.”

“Fine,” Negan said while waving his hands in mock surrender. “I get it. You want my ass gone.”

He turned on his heel before Aaron could say more. Deep down he understood that the Alpha had his best interest at heart. It was in their nature to push the protection of a pup in a pregnant Omega, especially when an Omega was set to burst. This was a time where he should be resting, which he didn’t exactly want to do, but at the same time he did.

As he moved, he felt the aches of the long pregnancy rise up his back. He reached a hand around to touch his back as he came to a stop to give his already tired feet a minute to rest. The weight of his stomach had become like an anchor, creating something of a strain on most of his muscles.

“Goddamn it, when is this pup coming out,” he muttered. It hadn’t been as bad as when he’d carried twins, but the feeling was impossible to ignore.

“Need a hand?”

He looked up as Carl walked over with the bat still slung over his shoulder. Negan assumed it was the hormones making him tense at the sight of the bat drawing near.

“Normally I’d say fuck no, but in this case, why the hell not.”

Carl became his crutch as they headed for the house. Along the way, people moved back and forth as they went about another typical day. A couple of them greeted him kindly which he acknowledged with a nod or something witty. Then there were those that just preferred to take more notice of his belly than his face. 

“Where the hell’s daddy?”

“In the armory,” Carl replied. “They found a few guns out there.”

“Hopefully we won’t need them,” he said flatly. There hadn’t been a problem since the Saviors attack, and he hoped it stayed that way. 

“So…”

“So what?” Negan asked, quirking a brow.

Carl’s eye briefly dropped to his belly.

“Have you given my list another look?”

“Christ, I thought we were all in agreement on the name,” Negan muttered, as if annoyed. He raised himself up so the kid was no longer supporting him in a crutch like fashion. 

“Dad’s not into the name Negan,” he said with a playful roll of the eyes. “He’s told you that.”

“I know I’ll be able to change his mind.” A smug smile lifted the corners of Negan’s lips.

“Lucy’s the only one that likes it besides you. Jake is with us.”

“All three of you will have to roll to my way of thinking, cause I’m the one pushing this pup out of my ass, so it should be my say-so.” As quietness settled on them, Negan glanced at the bat. “Why’d you take that?”

“Huh?” He followed Negan’s gaze. “What the bat? I don’t know. I thought maybe we could get baseball going again. Maybe after the pregnancy, you could start a league.”

Negan took notice of a few Alphas smoking on the porch of a nearby house. As soon as their eyes met, the Alphas shot him a sharp glare that encouraged Negan to drop his gaze in submission. Alexandria was a place where Alphas and Omegas were on the same footing, but for him it didn’t count.

“Yeah, I don’t think me swinging a bat around is gonna strike up a beautiful image for people. I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m banned from ever touching a damn bat again.”

“Oh come on, no one would think you're bringing Lucille back. And no one thinks-”

“You’re a smart pup, but you know that’s not entirely fucking true.”

Carl fell quiet for a minute afterwards. 

“I don’t think it’ll be that big of a deal. I mean who cares what they think anyways.”

He agreed with such a point. He shouldn’t care. The only time to care was if someone was attempting to hurt him, but the fact of the matter was that he was a member of the pack, so to a degree he was a little concerned about not having enough support. He laughed as he thought about taking a team of pups under his wing for baseball. It would allow him to return to his old job of coaching, which unfortunately ended once the world changed. 

“Why the hell not. I’ll fashion a shitload of Lucilles for my team to hit that cool factor, and piss these assholes off.”

“Yeah, that’s what you want to do,” Carl said with a laugh.

Up ahead, the sight of his two pups on the porch caught Negan’s attention. Jake was messing with a robot toy while Lucy was perched on Michonne’s lap, listening as she read her a book. Just then, Jake’s robot started making noises which attracted Lucy.

“Let me see it,” she cried.

Jake pulled it out of her reach as she neared him.

“No, I haven’t had a turn,” he argued.

“You said you’d let me.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No!”

“Hey!” Negan called once he made it to the porch. “I’m gone twenty minutes and you two are already on the verge of killing each other.”

“I just wanted to see the robot,” Lucy pointed out. She pulled out her lower lip in a pout as her dark hair fell over her bright blue eyes. At four, she was still a spitting image of him with similar facial features.

“Look mommy, it’s working now,” Jake said proudly as he held it up. Unlike his sister, he favored Rick when it came to looks, but his eyes were a bright light brown instead of blue.

“Did you fix it all by yourself?” Negan asked, grinning. Jake bobbed his head rapidly. “Atta boy.”

The pup’s proud smile widened. 

“Auntie Micho is teaching me to read,” Lucy announced, hoping to gain Negan’s praise as well. 

“That’s my girl.” He topped it off by running his hand over her head. “But you’re not driving Michonne nuts over here, are you?”

Lucy glanced back at Michonne before turning back to shake her head.

“No.”

“That’s too bad,” Negan said as he feigned disappointment. “I would’ve been even prouder if you made her lose her damn mind.”

“Swear,” Jake said offhandedly without even bothering to look away from his robot. 

“Right,” Negan muttered. Both pups were so used to hearing him drop an occasional swear word, they were barely bothered to react. At least Jake was still interested in pointing it out.

“If I’d lost my mind, there’d be no one to pupsit for you,” said Michonne. 

“There’s always Carl. Rick might call him a pup, but he’s not anymore. Already on the verge of presenting.” He settled in the plastic chair next to her and released a heavy sigh of relief. After he put his feet up on the porch railing, he felt even better. “If I could have anything in the world right now, it’d be to take this blimp off my body for a little while.”

“No sign of it ending anytime soon?” Michonne asked.

He was certain a look of concern fleeted across her features. He dropped a hand over his stomach yet again, taking notice of how it easily peeked out of the bottom of his shirt.

“Other than the kicking fits? No.” He eased back into the chair suddenly feeling drained.

“You should go lay down a while. I’ll keep watching the twins,” Michonne offered.

“Now you sound like Aaron,” he complained. “He shooed me away from bringing the pup supplies over.”

“I suppose he’s taking after Rick, in a way. No lifting a finger if you can help it.”

“Oh I can lift a finger, easy,” he said cheekily as he lifted the middle finger of his left hand. Michonne rolled her eyes. “I should toss one of these up every now and then, especially when I get the stink eye from some as...A-hole.” He looked over at Jake who appeared ready to cry “Swear” if he’d said the word.

“I don’t think that’s going to help you in the end,” Michonne disagreed. 

“No, but I’ll get a kick out of it.” 

“Hey, I’m gonna go see if they need any more help unloading the supplies,” Carl said as he approached Negan. 

“Get to it then,” he said while waving him off.

“You need any more help?”

Though it was nice to be asked, Negan felt a little offense at the question.

“What am I, grandma? I can still do some things without assistance pup scout.”

“Okay then. See you.”

He hurried off. After seeing her brother zip out, Lucy too approached Negan.

“Can I help Carl too?”

“No. You just stay put right here.” With shaky legs, he rose to his feet and stretched. “I think I will take that offer Micho, and get myself a little nap time before Rick shows up.”

Determined to show no signs of fatigue, he shuffled indoors. 

 

Sleep had been quite welcomed as he laid stretched out across the couch, and it had only taken him less than an hour to fall into it. When an hour was up, the front door was opening, causing Negan to stir from the sound. The simple sound was followed by running feet and loud laughter. 

“Keep it down you two. Mommy is resting, remember?”

The voice was noticeable enough to encourage Negan to open his eyes. He rose to a sitting position tiredly just in time to catch the intruder trying to walk by quietly with two giggling pups in his wake.

“Mommy was resting,” Negan corrected as he laid eyes on his Alpha. 

Rick gave him an apologetic smile before shrugging.

“There’s always tomorrow right.”

Negan quirked a brow at the comment. He wasn’t so certain of that anymore, especially when two pups would soon become three.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan wonders about how the packs view him as they prepare for a treat

He was annoyed to find that Rick did not look as tired as he felt. Whenever he did have moments of exhaustion, Negan had been the one allowed to see just how tired a true Alpha could get. The lines on his face would be obvious, and his bright blue eyes would have circles. 

“I hoped you managed to get some rest at least,” he said after brushing a hand over his neatly trimmed beard.

Negan just grimaced.

“I wasn’t interested in resting until Michonne suggested it,” he said as he stretched and rose to his feet. “I preferred checking out our latest packages.”

Rick settled down in a chair across from him. Lucy and Jake whizzed past as they engaged in a game of indoor chase. 

“We got a good haul,” said Rick. “Good timing on it too.”

For a minute Negan was bewildered by the comment, then he dropped his head as it dawned on him. 

“Oh right, the fair. How the hell could I forget?” 

There had been a point in the last four years where it was decided that the aligned packs could use a formal get-together of sort for the simple sake of relieving stress and having something more entertaining to do than slaughtering walkers. This would only be the second one to take place, and there was hope that it would be grander than the first go around.

“I hope you don’t. I intend for you to come this year,” Rick said in a slightly stern tone.

“Unless you turn that fair into a carnival with shit-your-pants rides, I’m not invested. Besides that, I heard ticket prices have gone up, and I’m fucking broke.”

“We’re not having the fair at Hilltop, so if it’s Maggie you’re worried about-”

Negan huffed and squared his shoulders.

“Please. I’m past that obstacle.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Rick pressed. “You know Lucy and Jake will be disappointed if you don’t come along.”

Negan inwardly cursed Rick for using the pups to guilt him. Of course they would be eager about their first fair since they had been too young to really remember attending the first one. He met his Alpha’s eyes and suddenly wished he could just sense the problem without him having to try and explain it. The last thing he felt like doing, especially now, was discuss his deeper feelings on the matter. 

“I don’t know,” he grumbled. He glanced down and decided to follow Rick’s lead in using a pup. “I’m fucking bursting here, and you really expect me to walk around and play games? I’ll draw too much attention anyways and that won’t give me a moment’s peace.” He was pleased to see that Rick appeared to be accepting his words. “I’m getting more tired now so unless the fair’s date is changed after this pup pops out, I’m not up for going.”

Rick nodded in understanding. He was about to respond but became distracted by the sound of something breaking upstairs.

“JAKE! LUCY!” Rick called.

“Better go make sure one didn’t kill the other,” Negan suggested. With a sigh, Rick rose and left to investigate. 

Negan hunched over and rested his fingers against his temples. In all honesty he did like the sound of attending the fair at last. Skipping out on the first had been an easy decision. Walking amongst Alexandrians who were still emotional after the events of the Savior attack did not sound like a pleasant experience. Now however, enough time had passed for them to sort themselves out, and despite a few sour apples, he would have been willing to go. The thing was, the fair would include packs from both the Hilltop and the Kingdom. There had been no bread breaking between him and them, so he was certain they would still be sore from what the Saviors had put them through in the past.

“Fuck.” He didn’t want to stay behind when the fair offered the best way of getting out of the house. And the idea of being alone while everyone else was gone, bugged him.

 

“Mommy when are you gonna cook again?” Lucy asked after taking a bite of mashed potatoes.

“When your daddy starts paying me.”

Rick tossed him a look of annoyance before eating. Negan turned back to their meal for the night which consisted of mashed potatoes, veggies from Alexandria’s large garden, and slices of ham from the Kingdom’s pigs. 

“I wanna make cookies.”

“Cookies?” he questioned. “I think the last thing you need is more sugar after you guys knocked over that lamp.”

“It was Jake,” she accused while pointed a finger across the table at her brother.

“Nu-uh, it was her,” he accused back. 

“Guys,” Rick warned. He gave a soft growl that was suitable for pups. “That’s why we don’t run around like that in the house.”

Both pups dropped their heads. 

“Don’t take it too hard,” Carl piped up. “I broke a lot worse when I was your age.”

This perked the twins up; Lucy more so than Jake. 

“Like what?” she asked, putting him on the spot.

“Oh, just random things,” he replied while giving Rick a sheepish look. 

“We might have to pup proof this house better,” said Negan. “That, or have Michonne stand guard over you two on occasion.”

Neither pups took him seriously and so giggled at the idea. 

“Carl tells me you’re thinking of starting a baseball league.”

The question from his Alpha caught Negan off guard. He turned to him slowly with his brows raised.

“I ain’t decided on nothing yet. When will I have time for it anyways?”

“I think it’d be a good way to give you more to do.”

“Another chore on my list?” Negan countered.

“But you said you coached before,” Carl reminded him. 

“That was a long time ago.” 

He didn’t know why, but suddenly the idea of coaching a team of pups wasn’t sitting well with him. He supposed it had something to do with already having the task of taking care of his own. 

“Surely you still remember how to coach,” said Rick. 

Negan leaned back and pulled up a grin.

“Of course I do, but I think the real issue is finding enough bats. Maybe you can whittle a few when you’re not busy leading.”

“Can’t say I’ve ever whittled.”

Negan just shrugged.

“It’s not too late to learn.”

 

Later that night, Negan was leaning against the wall on Lucy’s bed with a book in his hands. Lucy was leaning against him, looking at the pictures from the book as he read.

“Then I’ll huff…and I’ll puff…and I’ll blow that beauty of a house down to the ground.”

“I want you to read me a comic,” Lucy informed him as he turned the page.

“Maybe tomorrow. Rick wants to make sure you’re educated on the classics.”

“Comics are classic.”

“I agree, but according to daddy, some aren’t. At least not the ones with blood splattering the pages. And why would you need another book read to you huh? You should be sleeping you little night owl.”

He dropped the book as he quickly launched a tickle attack on her belly, making her laugh wildly. From the bed across the room, Jake came running up to Negan’s side and tugged at his arm in an attempt to save his sister. 

“Oh you want some of this too little man?” Negan turned from the worn, giggling girl to the boy who’d made himself an easy target. “Both of you should be sleeping already. Instead you’re getting me all riled up.”

The twins just laughed which was music to his ears. Negan laughed along with them, and once he successfully brought them down from the tickle attack, he got to his feet.

“Seriously you two. Bedtime. The warden will pass by and if your sorry little butts aren’t in bed, it’ll be no treats, or no…anything for a week, so come on now.”

Jake hopped up and ran back to his own bed, then dutifully laid down under the covers. 

“Tuck me mommy,” he cried.

Negan walked over to do just that, and once he’d finished, he planted a kiss on his forehead. When he turned around, Lucy was ready to be tucked in as well. 

“Sleep tight you two,” he said before kissing her forehead. 

He set the book back on the shelf, then headed toward the door. He took a moment to watch both pups snuggle down under the covers. Despite Lucy’s shut eyes, he knew she was faking. By the time he shut the door, he imagined she’d be sneaking around. He shut the door anyways with no intention of popping back in to shout at her. Her rebellious nature was something he cherished. When it came to Jacob, he respected his more quiet nature. 

He dropped a hand over his protrusion, wondering who the upcoming pup would take after most. He really liked the idea of another pup borrowing his own behavior and looks, but he imagined Rick felt differently. As if sensing his thoughts, the pup inside issued a few kicks against the walls of his current habitat.

“Don’t go breaking down the walls kid. I’m just as eager to have you outta there myself.”

He headed to his Alpha’s room, ready to get a real day’s rest. 

He paused in the doorway, eyeing his bed which had become more than a mattress on the floor over time and couldn’t have looked more inviting. All the little aches and pains made themselves known as he wandered toward it. As he settled under the covers, Rick entered the room, yawning. 

“If you’re hoping for a bedtime story, you’re too late,” Negan teased.

“Right now all I’m hoping for is a good night’s sleep. I gotta date with Hilltop tomorrow.”

“What the hell for?”

“Just trading.”

“Sounds boring as shit. And here I was thinking of actually coming,” came the sarcastic response. 

Rick looked over at him as he climbed into his own bed. His eyes dropped down to his belly which was becoming a common habit. 

“I think you’re more suited to hanging back and taking it easy.”

A weak version of a growl escaped his Omega throat.

“Don’t you and Carl ever get sick of treating me like some fragile old man? This sure as hell ain’t my first pregnancy, and I’m not so fragile that I couldn’t handle a trip,” he argued.

At that, Rick raised a brow.

“You said you were too tired for the fair, and now you want to go to the Hilltop?”

“I meant I could handle a ride. I didn’t say anything about getting out of the car.”

“I’d consider letting you, if I thought you were serious about that,” Rick said as he settled down under the covers. 

“You know me too well,” Negan muttered with a light chuckle. He dropped his head and ran his fingers over his belly in a methodical fashion. As the Hilltop lingered in his mind, he also thought about the Kingdom. The idea of roaming both pack’s territories made him a little tense. He hadn’t made many trips to the Kingdom when he’d been an Alpha, and he couldn’t imagine going as an Omega. And though he’d gone to the Hilltop several times after his change, he had only ever visited Dr. Carson. He had no reason to visit the doctor anymore since Alexandria now had their own. “Is four years enough?”

“What?”

“Four years,” Negan repeated. “Is it enough time for them to, get over what I’ve done?”

Rick processed the question quietly.

“I don’t know,” he said truthfully. “It depends on them. But, it would help if you apologized for what you did to their packs.”

Negan gave a flat huff. In all this time, he hadn’t really given an apologetic statement to the Alexandrians. In a way he’d passed off the birth of the twins as something of an apology since his pregnancy was enlarging the pack and giving their Alpha something he desired.

“Maybe I’ll send them a note,” he said as he settled down under the covers. He could practically hear the eye roll from Rick.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick visits the Hilltop

Rick walked up to the RV with the last crate of canned goods. He handed it off to a Beta that had been inside organizing all the supplies next to one another. 

“That should be good,” Rick said as he took note of the amount of supplies ready for delivery. Ten crates of canned and boxed foods, and freshly grown tomatoes were chosen for Hilltop on this particular trade. 

Scott, who’d been helping the Beta, stepped out and eyed the supplies.

“Is this too much?”

“No,” said Rick. “We can afford it, especially with help from the Kingdom.”

“And the end of the Saviors.”

Rick twitched at the mention of their past enslavers. He never liked to think of them again if he could help it, but Scott had been right. Without the Saviors demanding half, they had enough to keep and share. 

“Yeah,” he agreed bitterly. “We better get a move on.”

“Hey dad.” He turned to see Carl coming forward with Negan carrying Lucy behind him. “Can I come too? I thought I’d visit Hershel.”

“Sure.” Rick patted his shoulder.

“I wanna come too daddy,” Lucy announced.

“My whole family’s trying to leave me behind,” Negan said in whining tone. “Maybe I should go after all.”

“Scared to stay home alone?” asked Rick. “Jake can keep you company.”

“Jake’s off at Aaron’s, so I’ll have the house to myself. That is, if Lucy’s allowed to leave.”

“Please daddy! I want to play with Hershel.” She batted her puppy eyes and pouted her lip. Rick did his best to hold back a smile, but in the end he couldn’t.

“Alright. You can come too.”

She beamed. Negan let her down and she happily joined Carl in entering the RV. 

“I suppose you want me to hold things down,” Negan assumed as Rick turned to him.

“I want you to take it easy,” Rick answered seriously. He moved closer as his eyes dropped downward. Then he lifted his hand and placed it gently on his bump. A slow rubbing movement stirred a whine out of his Omega. “If you need anything, Michonne and Daryl can help.”

Negan fidgeted from his Alpha’s touch on his belly. He even felt a little heat in his cheeks from the fact that this was a public display. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Scott looking awkwardly away from them.

“Michonne sure, Daryl, no fucking way.”

Rick wanted to argue in defense of the Beta. Daryl hadn’t been as hostile toward Negan as he had in the past, but he hadn’t exactly developed a friendship with him either. 

“Well, I’ll be back soon.” He squeezed his shoulder before turning to his ride to the Hilltop.

“What? No kiss goodbye?” he teased. Rick simply waved a hand back at him. Negan gritted his teeth as he thought of who would be waiting to see his Alpha. “Tell Maggie, I said hi.”

Rick looked back at him, pleased at his willingness to take a small step forward when it came to her. After her attack on him long ago, Negan had barely acknowledged her. 

“I will,” he promised. 

He jumped into the driver’s seat. Once the gate was opened, Rick headed out. Negan watched him as bitterness filled him from his past interaction with Maggie. He dropped his eyes to his bump and rubbed a hand over it.

“Guess it’s just you and me for the day.”

 

In the back, Carl entertained Lucy with a game of paddy cake. Rick glanced up in the rear-view mirror at them.

“Worried?”

“About what?” he asked Scott who occupied the passenger’s seat.

“Your upcoming pup.”

“Every father worries about his pup.” With that, he glanced into the mirror again to look at Carl and Lucy. “And fathers get particularly anxious when a new pup’s about to come into the world. But I think I’m handling it alright. Do I look worried?”

Scott smiled jokingly.

“Not exactly. I just, figured you could be worried underneath that mask of calm.”

Rick chuckled softly.

“I’ve gone through this enough times to avoid becoming a nervous wreck. Carl, Judith…” he paused on her name as a twinge of sadness struck him. “Lucy and Jacob. This is the fourth time I’m dealing with a pregnant Omega. You should’ve seen me when I was a first time father with Carl.”

“Maybe I should try it sometime,” said Scott. “I’d have to find an Omega first.”

Rick gave a nod of understanding. The population of Omegas had decreased greatly after the fall of the world. He found himself imagining an Alpha falling into the same scenario as Negan, where said Alpha ended up getting bitten and turned into an Omega. So far, he hadn’t heard another incident of such a thing happening to anyone else.

“You’ll find one,” said Rick confidently. “It’s not impossible not to.”

 

In no time a large field of crops came into view with several pack members working in them. Just behind that was the great gates of the Hilltop. Rick popped his head out and waved at Kal who, as usual, was posted on top as guard. 

“Open up the gates! It’s Rick!” he called out.

The gates were opened, allowing him to drive inside. Much like Alexandria, the Hilltop had expanded nicely within with several new homes, larger pens for the increased livestock, an area for horse breaking, and a water tower. The pack members had been thriving much better now with the network of trade as well as a major change in leadership. The new leader made her way forward with Enid in toe. Rick smiled at her as he exited the RV.

“Hi Maggie.” He greeted her with a warm hug. 

“Rick. I figured you’d skip out on this trade with a new pup close to arriving.”

“You know I wouldn’t want to skip out on seeing you.”

“Hey Maggie,” Carl greeted as he walked over to hug her.

“Carl, it’s good to see you.”

“Hey you,” Enid greeted Carl as she moved in to hug him.

“Auntie Maggie!” Lucy cried as she eagerly ran forward with her arms spread. Maggie’s delighted smile widened.

“Lucy!” She happily scooped her into her arms. “This is a nice surprise.”

“I missed you,” Lucy said as she hugged her. Maggie returned the warm hug.

“I’ve missed you too. Look at you. You’ve gotten so big since I last saw you.”

“Where’s Hershel?”

“Right over there sweetheart.”

They all looked over at a small pup with dark hair who was playing in a sandbox and being watched by a pupsitter. He was clearly a spitting image of his father, Glenn. Maggie released Lucy and she ran over to the sandbox giggling.

“Did Jake come too?” 

“No, he’s back home, and so is Negan.” Rick noticed her smile falter slightly at the mention of his Omega’s name. Four years had definitely not been enough time for her to be okay with him, and he didn’t expect that to ever change.

“Oh,” came her simply reply. “How, how is he?”

Rick could tell it was forced politeness.

“He’s okay. He’s ready for that pup to come out. He wanted me to tell you hi.”

She nodded then turned her attention to Jesus as he made his way to them.

“Rick, looks like you’ve got a nice load here.”

“I do.”

Jesus jumped in to help Scott remove the crates. Both Carl and Enid got into position to lend a hand as well, leaving Rick and Maggie to walkabout alone. Rick turned his attention to Hershel. He was in the middle of building a sand castle with Lucy’s help.

“Hershel is looking more like his dad every time I see him.” 

“I’m glad for that,” she said, pleased as she glanced over at him as well. “How are things in Alexandria?”

“Good. No trouble, and definitely no assholes causing us problems. How about here? Gregory’s not giving you trouble is he?”

“He’s been okay actually. He didn’t handle the reelection well, but so far he’s been on good behavior. As for the people, I think they’re more invested in the fair. I sent some of them to head to the Kingdom to help. I get the feeling they’re a little miffed at me for not allowing Hilltop to host it a second time.”

“Would it have really been so bad to host it here?”

“The Kingdom’s bigger. There’s more space there, and the same can be said for Alexandria,” she replied in defense.

“I preferred it not to be in Alexandria. I didn’t want my Omega to become more stressed. He already wants no part of it.”

“That’s probably for the best,” said Maggie in a tone sharper than she intended. Rick was at least pleased she looked a little ashamed at her tone. “I mean with the pregnancy, it might be harder on him.”

“That’s what he told me. I agree with that, but, maybe there’s a way around it.”

Maggie raised a brow as she looked at him.

“What way?”

“I’m not sure. I’ll talk it over with Ezekiel, and while I’m there, I'll check on your people. I’ll head there tomorrow.”

“I appreciate that Rick.”

They paused in their walk to watch as the supplies from Hilltop were being loaded into the RV. 

“And I really appreciate that,” he said with a nod at the items. 

“Happy to help.”

As they made their way toward it, Rick considered their discussion on the fair. He looked over at the sandbox and noticed Carl had joined Lucy and Hershel in their construction.

“Maggie.” He waited until he had her full attention. “If I’m able to convince Negan to go to the fair, I hope it won’t prevent you from having a good time.”

It was clear that Maggie didn’t want to go into the topic of Negan if she could help it. 

“It wouldn’t Rick. The Kingdom’s community is big enough for us to avoid one another. And I think the real question is, will his attendance prevent everyone else from having a good time.” Rick sighed, but she continued. “Rick the Saviors, and Negan, have hurt them longer than they hurt us. I can’t imagine they’ll be very welcoming toward him. They haven’t forgotten, just like I haven’t.”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” He relented and waved a hand. “I just hope one day it won’t be like that. I told Negan the best way for him to get off on the right foot with the communities, was to apologize.”

Maggie seemed to consider the idea.

“That could be a start.”

Rick nodded then looked over at his pups.

“Carl! Lucy! Time to go!”

Carl dusted Lucy off as she stood, then she hugged Hershel goodbye. 

“You should drop by Alexandria sometime,” Rick said as he patted Maggie’s shoulder. She became momentarily distracted as Hershel came running up. 

“Momma, come see my castle!” he cried.

“Did you build a castle?” she asked as she lifted him up. Hershel nodded proudly. 

“Hey Hershel,” Rick greeted. “How are you?”

“Good.”

“That’s good.”

“Daddy,” Lucy said as she ran up to him, “Hershel and me made castles.”

“Yes, I can see them,” he said as he took notice of them in the sandbox. “But it’s time to go now. And Maggie, I’m serious about you coming to Alexandria. We all miss you there.”

“Maybe. If I don’t get too busy running this pack.”

“Gates are always open,” Rick finished off before making his way to the driver’s seat. 

Carl and Lucy entered and took their seats, then Jesus closed the door. 

“Have a safe trip back,” Maggie wished him as he started the car.

Rick nodded in thanks before pulling out of the now opened gates. As he drove, he thought about his talk with Maggie. It did seem unlikely that the other packs would ever be accepting of Negan. The man had just been a bastard that hurt people for too long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little time at the Hilltop. Even after four years, the pain is still there for Maggie and most likely others.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little sexy relaxation time between Rick and Negan

Negan rocked gently in the rocker as he watched pack members travel back and forth from his front porch. Barely anyone looked his way which he was perfectly fine with. He preferred to spend time with his pups anyway, or at least the one that was still inside him since Lucy was with his Alpha and Jake was with Aaron.

“I bet you’d like me to tell you about the pack you’re going to meet soon,” he told said pup as he rubbed his belly. “Well, you’re not missing much. They can be stubborn assholes, but they’re a loyal bunch. You’re daddy likes them well enough, and I…they’re okay.”

He dropped his eyes as the past yet again invaded his thoughts.

“They were mine once,” he admitted softly. He let his eyes follow random people walking about. “I made them mine, when I was an Alpha. I put my foot down on your daddy’s neck and had him and his people working for me and my pack. But, that was a long time ago. Your brother and sister don’t know about that, so I’d appreciate it if you keep it just between us, okay?”

He looked down at his belly as he rubbed it a few more times. He wasn’t sure why but he was suddenly feeling a little depressed. He had gone through postpartum depression when the twins had been born and assumed it was happening again.

“They’re going to have a fair soon,” he told the pup suddenly. “Do you think I should go?”

The sound of Alexandria’s gate opening stole his attention. 

“Daddy’s home.”

He watched a couple of people walking up to unload the items he had received from Maggie. It was clear he had been successful in gaining a good amount from the trade. Negan watched Rick chat with Daryl before heading his way with Lucy skipping ahead of him. Quickly he wiped any signs of sadness from his face and straightened up as they neared.

“Mommy! Mommy!” Lucy cried as she ran up to him. “I built sandcastles with Hershel.”

“Did you? Maybe I should’ve come along cause I would’ve built a hell of a castle.”

Lucy giggled and headed inside.

“Jake still with Aaron?” Rick asked.

“Do you see him here?” he asked in a smart tone which triggered Rick to give him a warning growl. “Something wrong?”

In response, Rick moved in close and pushed him forward just a little so he could access his neck. Negan gasped as his Alpha clamped his teeth on his gland. He hadn’t done such a thing often since Negan barely ever did anything to displease him nowadays.

“Alpha?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Rick said before nipping at the gland again. 

A shiver traveled down Negan’s spine.

“Rick, Jesus, it’s the middle of the day.” He found himself involuntarily raising his neck to give his Alpha more access. His inner Omega was getting a little excited. 

After a sharp nip and a growl, Rick pulled away and touched his belly.

“I’m heading to the Kingdom tomorrow.”

“And you want me to come or something?” he asked with a raised brow.

Rick’s attention was solely focused on the unborn pup.

“No. I think you should rest up.”

“Great,” said Negan flatly. “I guess I’ll be here, waiting for the future to pop out of my ass.”

Rick snapped his attention on him.

“Did you want to come?”

“Fuck no,” he said bitterly.

“What’s wrong?” he questioned, sounding concerned.

“Nothing. I’m just…ready for this damn pregnancy to be over.” His gaze drifted to the passerby again. “But never mind that. How’d you make out with Maggie? You didn’t screw up the trade, did you?”

“We got a good deal as always,” he said as his attention drifted to his members transporting the supplies. “Corn, potatoes, bags of beans, bread. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Think you’ll have better luck at the Kingdom huh? I wouldn’t be surprised if the king was giving out golden apples now.”

“That’s not why I’m going there. I wanted to check up on the fair.”

Negan’s face fell in annoyance at the mention of it.

“I’m still not going, unless they have rides.” 

Rick ignored the cheeky grin in favor of patting his shoulder and heading inside. Negan rocked a minute longer before rising to his feet. He leaned against the railing as he thought about the fair. He was starting to wonder if he was making too big of a deal out of it. The other communities were well aware of his status, but there was the fact that he hadn’t had any interaction with them since then. For the most part the king had come when Rick was ready to reveal his claim on him to the Saviors, but nothing else had come of that. Perhaps the king and the rest of the Kingdomers thought he was still a prisoner. Then he thought it was unlikely that Rick wouldn’t have explained that he’d become a member of Alexandria and birthed his pups. Surely they, as well as the Hilltop, had moved on just as Alexandria had.

He chuckled quietly as he realized such thoughts had never come to his mind until this event.

 

Once the day came to an end, Negan was ready for comfort in the form of a nice hot shower. He shut his eyes and sighed with satisfaction as the water rained over his face. He next pressed his forehead against the wall, letting the water cascade down and soothe the minor aches in his joints.

As the water thundered over him, he failed to hear the bathroom door opening. With the curtains closed, he didn’t see the figure shedding his shirt and unbuckling his pants. It was only when the curtain rings rattled when the curtain was quickly pushed aside did Negan take notice. When he made to turn around, fingers gripped his gland.

“Relax,” his Alpha ordered.

“What? A guy can’t take a shower in…” He trailed off as Rick sunk his teeth into his neck, hitting the gland just perfectly so that he would give in and relax.

Negan’s shoulders sunk as he whined. A soft possessive growl issued from Rick’s throat as he stepped into the shower behind him and snaked his hand across his bulging belly. The fingers moved in a circular fashion, giving him a nice massage in addition to the warm water. Rick growled again, but held his grip on the gland with his teeth as the other hand moved downward. Negan’s leg twitched as he felt the fingers hover between his legs.

“R-rick,” he stuttered. He wasn’t sure what had set his Alpha into doing this. Since becoming pregnant he hadn’t gone into heat, and it certainly wasn’t time for Rick’s rut. When that time had come, he had taken a few suppressants to keep it down. Since they were now cycling together, there wasn’t much of a fear of Rick losing his mind to a powerful rut. “What, brought this on?”

Rick just growled and pulled his fingers away but kept his other hand on the belly.

“You seemed stressed,” he answered before returning his teeth to his neck.

Negan shifted as he felt the wetness streaming down his leg. He knew automatically it wasn’t water. And once the scent of a ready Omega hit Rick, he entered, slowly.

Negan did his best to suppress a gasp, but failed. Rick's great cock had always elicited a reaction from him. As Rick penetrated deeper, Negan felt his body start to imitate jelly and he had to support himself against the wall.

“Jesus Rick…I’m, I’m already pregnant, in case you haven’t noticed.”

The growl that stemmed from his Alpha’s throat sent a strong shiver through his Omega core.

“I know,” he said in a low, commanding voice. Once Rick turned to suckling at his gland, Negan became putty in his hands.

He whined and lifted his neck back for his Alpha. As he alternated between sucking and nipping, goosebumps traveled down Negan’s bare wet skin. The whines shifted to moans when Rick started rolling his hips. Negan was certain he could easily be heard over the still running water.

“R…Rr…Rick.”

Negan wasn’t sure what he wanted to tell him. Nothing had set him up to be in the mood for this, but the excitement from earlier returned with a force as Rick thrusted at the proper speed. He dropped his forehead against the wall and rolled his hips back to meet his thrusts. If his Alpha wanted him now, he would submit and give him his body. 

Rick quickened his speed only slightly, and not once did he thrust rough enough to cause Negan’s belly to bash the wall. He was gentle and wholly aware of the pup bulge. 

“Mine,” Rick growled possessively. 

Negan arched when Rick hit especially deep and started panting. Rick let his hands wander upward to cup his breasts. The fingers kneaded them gently, then squeezed.

“Fuck.” He jolted and issued needy whines as his boobs were alternately kneaded.

Rick issued a lengthy growl as he then let his hands travel to Negan’s popping waist. They were perfectly synced in their motions as a mating Alpha and Omega should be. His Omega gave a loud cry and threw back his head as Rick hit deep again. The water rained over his shut eyes, and continued soaking their joined bodies, adding more heat and pleasure to both.

Rick went as deep as he could go while his hands moved up and down Negan’s waist. And when he felt the telltale hint of a forming knot, he paused in his thrusting. Negan felt an air of disappointment and moved his hips in an effort to encourage his Alpha to keep going.

“Christ Rick,” he started breathlessly, “don’t start something you don’t intend to finish.”

Rick gave a soft laugh and pulled out.

“It’s like you said, you’re already pregnant.”

The Omega whined at the sudden emptiness. He hated when his Omega side made him feel that way. It was even encouraging him to grind against his Alpha.

“Making me feel dirty Rick?” he teased. “Good timing since I’m already in the shower.”

He turned to face Rick at last who was already drying himself off. Even as he watched, he couldn’t get a read on what had triggered him, but when Rick’s eyes traveled to his belly, he had an idea. 

“I forgot. I’m pretty damn hot with a pup in the oven,” Negan said, smirking.

“It wasn’t so much about that,” Rick said as he pulled his shirt back on.

“Then…what the hell?”

Rick gave a soft growl before turning to pull up his boxers. 

“Do I need a reason?”

It was true. No Alpha needed a reason for when they felt like fucking their Omegas. It was a combination of instincts and the nature of Alphas who were meant to dominate their Omegas every now and then. Having been an Alpha once, Negan understood perfectly. 

“Right,” Negan muttered. He was at least pleased he hadn’t knotted him. Though by now, he reasoned the knotting wasn’t too bad since he really had become accustomed to the experience.

“Finish your shower. I’ll take care of the pups' bedtime story tonight.” Now fully dressed, Rick headed toward the door. 

“Yes Alpha,” Negan found himself saying before he closed the door. The tingly sensation from being screwed under the shower and feeling Rick’s fingers on his breasts remained as he ran soap across his body.

 

Rick hadn’t yet made it to bed when Negan entered the room. He eyed Rick’s bed a moment before slipping into his own. When Rick did appear, Negan felt a rise of submissiveness, as well as neediness which annoyed him. He watched his Alpha change for the night quietly. When he finally slipped into bed, he spoke.

“I wasn’t that stressed you know,” he said in reference to his shower fuck.

Rick gave a small shrug. His back was facing him so Negan couldn’t see his expression.

“Could’ve fooled me,” he replied. “But some of it was for me too.”

“Who the fuck are you kidding. It’s always for an Alpha,” Negan argued. “I remember I did the same.”

“Are you complaining?”

Negan felt something of a blush hitting his cheeks.

“No. It was the hottest damn shower I’ve ever had.” He chuckled at his own minor joke.

Rick rolled over to face him, and right away, Negan noticed lines of concern in his face.

“I think we both deserved a stress breaker,” he informed him, which confused Negan a little.

“What the hell do you have to be stressed about? I’m the one carrying the pup.”

“And I’m the one running the pack,” Rick countered. 

“And you’re doing a hell of a job,” Negan complimented. “Hardly any mistakes. Other than the damn fair, nothing’s been happening for you to lose sleep over.”

Rick dropped his eyes, then smiled.

“As the head of the pack, and an upcoming father for the fourth time, I tend to worry. I worry about the pup’s health, and his or her future here. Things have been running smoothly so far and I don’t want that to change.”

“What makes you think it will?” Negan pressed.

Rick just shrugged.

“I don’t know. Maybe because things have been going so smoothly so far. If there’s any bump in the road, it’s you.”

“Me?” Negan said with an air of hostility.

“Yes you,” Rick said as he raised his head. “Maggie agreed with me that it would be good for you to make amends to the other communities.” At that, Negan soured, but Rick continued. “It’s not a bad thing Negan, and it doesn’t have to happen right this minute. I’d just, like it if we could all truly move on from the past.”

“What the hell does it matter what the Hilltop and Kingdom think of me? They’re their own packs. Just because we trade a bag of sugar with them doesn’t mean we’re one big happy family.”

“You’re wrong,” Rick countered softly. “They’re not just packs to trade with. In the past that was true. Packs didn’t join together. They were solitary. They stayed in their own lanes. But I don’t see it that way now that the world’s changed. I see the Kingdom and the Hilltop members as part of my family as well, even if they’re in their own packs. And whenever we’re able to get another pack on board, it’ll be the same for them. I don’t want to draw lines. I want the world to change where a number of packs can become a tight-knit community. Where there’s no strife over territory. Where we can just be…one.”

Negan gawked. It wasn’t a totally fresh idea. In the past, there had been a small number of people who thought along such lines, and they were considered nuts. It was a foreign idea. Packs didn’t work like that. Packs may be friends with another pack, but no one went as far as forming a community out of packs. Staying separate was the way of things. 

“That’s a hell of a dream Rick. Maybe I’m just old fashioned. People in certain packs, stay in their packs. They make brief alliances with other packs or members jump into another pack, but that’s about it.”

“Well, I want to change that. Which is why it’d be nice if we could all get along.”

Negan grimaced and rolled over, letting his back face Rick.

“I think you’re asking too goddamn much.”

A minute later, Rick replied with a soft “Okay”. Negan couldn’t tell if it was a sign of Rick agreeing with him, but such an idea made him feel odd. He was an Alpha, a true Alpha, and he wasn’t meant to submit so easily. If Rick wanted to believe in fantasies, then it was his right. Negan couldn’t buy it, not when there were still some in his own pack that were still so strongly affected by the past. Forgiveness was a hard thing to ask for, especially when he had moments where he missed being an Alpha.

Negan sighed and shut his eyes. He wouldn’t worry about such things. For now, he was just happy that he wasn’t alone. He had his pups, and an Alpha that would make him feel good every now and then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I missed writing a mating moment between Rick and Negan, and the shower scene was a way to step it up. And after all these years, Negan isn't resisting it when Rick wants to screw him.  
> Rick's dream for the future was greatly inspired by Season 9 where Rick expressed that same wish for all the communities to work and live together in peace. Negan, however, doesn't see that happening.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick heads off to the Kingdom

Once the two pieces of toasts popped up, Negan dropped them on separate plates, then put in two more slices of the bread that had come from the Hilltop. He used strawberry preserves that was a gift from Carol to spread across the toasts. He grabbed a pan of recently scrambled eggs and divided them into small portions on the plates just as the sound of running footsteps hit his ears. 

“I want muffins!” Lucy announced as she pulled up a chair at the table.

“I want chocolate ones,” said Jake.

“You’re both getting breakfast food in the form of toast and eggs,” Negan told them as he fetched two more plates from the cabinet. He gasped as he felt a kick in his belly and paused to lay a hand on it. “You’re up too huh?”

Lucy turned to face him, intrigued.

“Is the pup dancing?”

There was another couple of kicks against Negan’s hand. 

“Yeah,” he said with a nod, “the pup’s dancing again.”

Lucy climbed down from her seat and raced over. Her hands were immediately out and pressing against his stomach. She looked up at him with delight when she felt a thump against her hands.

“Morning,” said Rick as he came around the corner. He planted a kiss on Jake’s head when he neared him.

“Daddy the pup’s dancing,” Lucy announced.

“Is it?” Rick crossed into the kitchen and took Lucy’s place to feel for the moving pup. It took a moment before he felt a small thump. “It sure is. Must be really happy this morning.”

“Or it’s got a song going on in there,” Negan joked. “Carl still sleep?”

He gathered the two plates and walked them over to his children.

“Yeah.”

“Then you can have his toast. It’ll get cold by the time he gets his lazy ass up.”

“Swear,” Jake announced before picking up his toast.

“Christ, I’ll get a swear jar.”

Rick chuckled and took down a mug.

“I think I’ll just take some coffee.”

“After I slaved over scrambling eggs and slicing bread?” Negan asked incredulously. “Sit down and let me serve you up a plate. You’re gonna get hungry on your way to the Kingdom, and you know the king’s food ain’t as good as my cooking.”

“If it’ll make you stop whining, then fine,” Rick teased. He walked over to the table with his steaming mug of coffee. Negan came behind him and set a plate down in front of him. 

“Daddy I wanna come too,” said Jake. 

“Me too!” Lucy added.

Rick took a sip before answering.

“Why don’t you two keep mommy company instead? I won’t be there long anyways.”

“But I wanna see the tiger,” Jake whined.

“When we go to the fair, you’ll have all the time in the world to look at the tiger.”

“And risk getting eaten,” Negan added as he joined them. Both Jake and Lucy looked horrified. “Kidding, kidding, Jesus.”

“Hmm, maybe I shouldn’t leave them alone with you,” said Rick.

Negan shot him a look of annoyance, causing the twins to giggle.

 

Once Rick had finished eating he headed toward the stables with Negan following behind him. He noticed a few blank looks directed at him, but since he was in the company of his Alpha, no one dared shoot him a dirty glance. He shot such members a challenging look, daring them to comment while Rick was right there.

“Something wrong with a car?” Negan questioned as a Beta pulled out a chestnut colored horse.

“We’re at a point where it’s best to preserve what we have,” Rick explained. “There’s going to be a time when all we have to rely on are the horses.”

“You might as well send Daryl. Aren’t horses his thing too? We know dogs are since he’s been spending time training the one he found.”

“Daryl’s not the pack leader,” Rick explained. He pulled himself into the saddle. The horse padded about momentarily before he was able to steady him. “Is there any particular reason why you don’t want me to go?”

Negan frowned as his smug expression. 

“No. Go. I don’t give a shit, and I still don’t give a shit about the fair.”

“Alright. I’ll be back soon.”

“I’m not waiting up for you if that’s what you’re about to say.”

“I wouldn’t expect you too,” he said, his eyes danced with humor. 

In that moment, for some reason, Negan felt compelled to bring up their conversation about forming a community out of the network of packs. But once Rick nudged the horse forward, he didn’t bother. He stepped aside and watched as Rick rode off through the gates. He felt the pup give a small kick and placed a hand over it. 

“Your daddy’s one stubborn Alpha.”

 

Lucy giggled as she lifted her blue colored hand from the papers before her. Both she and her brother were spending time hand painting, and had several sheets of papers scattered around them with hand prints of various colors on them. 

“Try making animals,” Jake suggested.

“I am.” She rotated the paper with the blue hand print, then dipped a finger in the green paint to make an eye near the bottom of a finger on the print. “It’s gonna be an elophant.”

Negan marched down the stairs and paused at the sight before him.

“Christ, I knew I shouldn’t have left you guys alone too long.” 

Neither pup had become concerned by the drops of color that had gotten on their clothes, the carpet, and the legs of the furniture. He shook his head at his failure to put down plastic or put the twins in play clothes. 

“Rick’s gonna have my ass,” he muttered. 

“Mommy look, it’s an elephant!” Lucy held up her picture.

“I’m doing a turkey,” said Jake.

“Come play mommy.”

Negan gave a shrug.

“Why the hell not.” He raised a finger at Jake before he could say anything. “I know. Swear. That jar’s coming, trust me.”

 

Sometime later, Negan was doing his best to scrub the carpet clean while sitting at an angle on the floor. The color was coming out to a good degree, but it would be clear to anyone that something blue, green, and red had gone down in the area.

“Goddamn it,” he griped. He dipped the scrub brush in the pail of soapy water, then pushed down harder against the colors. 

Then the front door opened, drawing his attention. It turned out to be Carl who had returned from afternoon schooling.

“I’m back,” Carl called.

“Great, you can take over,” Negan told him. He started to get to his feet, but soon found the difficulty in maneuvering himself back up. “Or better yet get over here and get my ass up.”

Carl put his book bag down then grabbed Negan’s arms to guide him to his feet.

“Dad not back yet?”

“No. He’s probably goofing off over there so I have to do all the work.” Then he shot a toothy grin at Carl. “But like I said, you’re here now to help out.”

“Yeah, sorry, I got homework,” he told him as he picked up his bag. Negan groaned.

“Christ, homework during the apocalypse still doesn’t sound right.”

“Feel free to talk to my teacher about it.”

“Maybe I will. Beats the hell out of cleaning.”

“Why don’t you get Lucy and Jake to clean? It’s their mess,” Carl suggested.

“They’re with Michonne in the garden, and besides that, Rick’s told me off for attempted child labor. Something about them not being able to do it right.”

Carl hid a possible laugh as he turned and headed upstairs.

“Sucks for you then.”

Negan sighed in agreement, then headed for the bathroom to find a stronger stain remover.

 

When lunchtime rolled around, Negan prepared peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Michonne arrived just in time with the twins. Lucy came running in with a large tomato in her hands.

“Looky mommy! Looky what I picked!”

“I see.”

“Mine’s bigger!” said Jake as he proudly showed his. 

In reality neither tomato was impressively big, but Negan let them have their arguments. 

“Give them here and I’ll slice ‘em up and put them on your peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.”

Both pups scrunched up their noses in disgust.

“Eeww,” Lucy whined. “That’s nasty.”

“Don’t cut mine!” Jake demanded.

“Fine, fine you bunch of party poopers. Go wash up then come down for lunch.”

After they handed him their tomatoes, they hurried away. Michonne laughed and pulled up a seat.

“It’s good to have pups that have an interest in gardening,” she told him. “We won’t have to worry about no one taking over. Jake is really interested in it.”

“It’s a hell of a lot better than turning scout and running outside these walls,” Negan said as his face turned grave. He didn’t exactly like the idea of the twins scavenging for supplies for the pack. It was such a risky job even for the most skilled person. “Rick pop up yet?”

“No. I’m sure he’s on his way back now.”

“Unless the king is putting on a theatrical play,” Negan said with a grin. “He still thinks he’s performing in a Shakespeare play doesn’t he?”

“Last I heard from Carol, he hasn’t been so bad,” said Michonne. 

“Yeah. Well since Rick isn’t here, how about you stay for lunch.”

“Sure. Just as long as you don’t put tomatoes on my sandwich either.”

 

As evening approached, Negan was standing on the porch with his arms folded and his eyes on the closed entrance gates. There had yet to be a sign of Rick’s horse and he had no idea why he was taking so long. All he could assume was that they were in a long conversation, or Rick had decided to stick around for a royal meal.

He wanted to believe those simple reasons, but he couldn’t help feeling a little concerned. He supposed it was just the worrying Omega side of himself.

“Dad still not back?” Carl asked as he stepped outside.

“No. He’s probably fooling around over there, or his majesty is talking his ear off.”

“I guess dad just wants to make sure the fair’s really big this year.”

Negan just shrugged and continued watching the gates. 

 

Soon dinnertime had rolled around, and the true Alpha leader still hadn’t returned.

“Where’s daddy?” Jake asked when he walked up to Negan in the kitchen.

“He’s taking care of business little man. It’s just taking a little longer than usual.” Jake stared at him, unconvinced. Negan forced a smiled and ruffled his hair. “Come on short stop, don’t start worrying now. He’ll be here.”

With a small nod, Jake headed back to the table. Negan turned back to the soup he was preparing as a knot started forming in the pit of his stomach. There was no reason why his Alpha would be so late, particularly after promising not to be gone long. The kingdom wasn’t that far. 

Then he cursed inwardly for worrying. Nothing bad could have happened. Rick was a capable man, so he decided to believe he’d gotten lost in a long conversation and a hot meal. The reason for his lateness was simply due to Rick not wanting to travel back at night. 

That was definitely all it was, so there was no point in worrying over nothing.

“Alright guys. You better be hungry,” he said to the pups at the table as he brought them their bowls of soup. 

Carl came down the stairs and quickly took interest in the nice smell of the soup.

“Smells good,” he commented.

“Tastes good too,” said Jake.

“I bet, but I’m heading over to Mike’s for dinner.”

Negan turned with his brows raised.

“What? Why am I just now hearing about this?”

Carl just shrugged.

“I didn’t think you’d mine.”

In truth Negan really didn’t, but being he was the only parent present he figured he had to put his foot down in Rick’s absence. 

“I think Rick would’ve wanted you to ask first,” he paused as he considered the idea, “but what the hell. Go.”

“Thanks. Tell dad I’ll be back later.”

And with that he was out the door. Jake looked around, ready to tell Negan off for swearing, but he held up a hand since he noticed the pup had a mouthful of soup.

“I know, I know. I’m working on it alright.”

“Stop that Jake,” Lucy said in a sharp tone. “Mommy says bad words. It’s not your damn business.”

“Lucy!” Negan admonished. She shrunk, looking ashamed. “You know what your daddy would say if he caught you talking like that?”

Lucy blinked and looked intrigued.

“No. What?”

The question caught Negan off guard. Parenting still felt like trial and error to him, so he wasn’t sure what the proper punishment would be for a young pup that cursed. He was sure Rick would know.

“I don’t know specifically. Just, don’t copy mommy’s bad words.”

“Yes mommy.”

Negan turned away to pour some soup for himself.

“He’d have my ass if you took after me that much,” he muttered so neither pup could hear. “Damn it Rick. Come home already.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it starts.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan begins to worry more over Rick's lateness

Going to bed without Rick across from him had felt odd, but what felt odder was waking up to seeing no clear sign of him having been there in the night. Negan stared at the still made up bed. It was possible he had snuck in to sleep and had just gotten up before he had. It was a bit of a stretch, but it made sense, and it was an idea he was willing to roll with.

He sat up and ran a hand down his face. He didn’t feel like he had the energy to even fix breakfast. If anything he hoped Rick was already taking over those duties. With minor effort, he threw his legs over the side and pushed himself to his feet.

Negan peeked in at the twins. They were still both sound asleep. Jake was cuddling a stuffed bunny to his chest while Lucy preferred a ragdoll that was lying behind her. Negan shut the door quietly and continued on.

“I hope you have a good explanation for being so…”

He paused when he turned the corner into the kitchen and saw that Rick wasn’t there as he’d theorized. There was no sign of him having been there either.

“Great. Leave all the work to me why don’t you,” he griped as he made to prepare something to eat. Not wanting much, he settled for a bowl of cereal and some fruit.

He heard Carl coming down the stairs just as he set up bowls of cereal at the table.

“Dad still not back?”

“Apparently not.” 

Carl hesitated before taking a seat.

“Why do you think he’s taking so long?”

Negan had no idea, but he could do without the little nagging sense of worry.

“How the fuck should I know. He probably went back to Maggie’s, or the king’s talking his ear off for a really long time. Have a seat. He’ll be back today for sure.”

Carl followed the suggestion and took a seat. When Jake and Lucy came down, Negan offered a similar explanation to Rick’s absence once they started questioning it. The last thing he wanted was for them to worry, as he feared it would only trigger him to worry more.

 

After breakfast, the day continued as it normally did. Carl went off to school and Negan settled down to play with the pups. Today it wasn’t finger-painting, but construction. Jake had gotten out his Legos and roped Negan into helping him construct a fort. Lucy helped to a degree, but wasn’t as interested in building as her brother so she settled for looking at the pictures in a comic on the couch.

“It’s gonna be a good fort,” said Jake.

Negan gave a nod as he placed a block on a corner of it.

“Yeah,” he replied distractedly. The knot that had started developing from his Alpha’s lateness was increasing. 

“Will daddy like it?” Jake looked to him for confirmation. 

Negan forced a smile and rubbed his shoulder. 

“Are you kidding me? Of course he will.”

Jake started to place another block, but leaned away looking concerned.

“When’s he coming home?” he asked. Lucy looked up from her comic looking interested.

“You guys are tired of me already? Geez.” 

“I am!” Lucy cried, then she fell into a fit of mischievous giggling. 

“Oh are you now?” Negan moved in with his fingers ready to tickle her into a happy defeat. “Teach you to be tired of your mommy.”

Lucy just kept laughing. 

He settled into the couch once it was clear she’d had her fill. It had been a good way to not only distract them, but himself from the concern over Rick.

“What do you guys say we head over to Michonne’s for a little while?”

“Yeah!” Jake agreed.

“Okay,” said Lucy. “Can I bring Whinny?”

“Sure thing.”

Lucy beamed and hurried upstairs to get her ragdoll, while Jake got up to fetch his shoes. And when both were ready, Negan grabbed both by the hand and started them on their way to Michonne’s.

 

During the journey, eyes were turned to him right away. In this case Negan knew it was in response to Rick being gone and he supposed they were looking for an answer on his face. Well there was no answer to give so he flat out ignored them as best he could.

Negan and his little troop hopped onto Michonne’s porch, then Lucy moved forward to knock. When there was no response for a minute, Negan took over in knocking.

“You won’t find Michonne.” They all turned to see that Eugene had come around from the side of the house. “She’s out scouting for supplies.”

“Oh. I was hoping for a pupsitter.”

“But mommy, I thought you would stay and play,” Lucy whined.

“Sorry hon. I just realized I’ve got business.”

Eugene shuffled awkwardly on his feet. Ever since Eugene disbanded from the Saviors, their interaction had mostly been awkward considering how far things had changed. Negan could no longer order him around, so there was that odd lingering ex-boss situation between them. Like himself, Eugene hadn’t exactly had a warm welcome when he returned to live in Alexandria, but they had of course accepted him quicker. 

“Perhaps I could be of service,” Eugene offered. Negan raised his brow. “We could run some science experiments. Pup friendly ones of course.”

It hadn’t been the first time Eugene had interacted with the pups, but Negan had never left them alone with him. There was always Aaron, but Negan thought it would be better to accept the offer than not. It would be a start in a fresh direction for their relationship. He glance down to see how Lucy and Jake felt about it. Jake looked interested while Lucy shared his concern.

“Alright, sure. Just don’t blow them up or Rick will be all over me.”

“You have my word,” Eugene promised. “I will not blow up your children.”

“Very reassuring smarty-pants.”

Negan released their hands and both pups moved over to latch onto Eugene’s hands. 

“You two know about rockets?” Eugene asked as he led them away. “I’m not an expert by any means, but we can still make do.”

Negan watched them go then stepped off of Michonne’s porch. He wasn’t exactly sure what to do now. Mihconne was really the only other person he chatted with if there was something on his mind. 

“Goddamn it.”

He settled for settling down at one of the picnic tables. He would wait for her, or Rick, to show up.

It only took a few minutes for restlessness to hit him. He sighed and tapped absentmindedly on the table. A few people passed by and glanced at him but did nothing more. There was even a Beta woman who quickened her pace as she walked by. He let his eyes wander off and caught sight of the church. He had never been much of a religious man, but something about the sight of it gave him pause. He let his hand drop across his belly as he stood.

“How about we see if Sunday school started.”

The knot that was resting in the pit of his stomach, slowly began to rise the closer he got to the church. It was as if there was something foreboding about it.

He lingered at the opened door, hesitant to go in. The last time he’d gone in, it was when Rick was announcing his pregnancy to the pack. After that, he hadn’t had a reason to go inside. He grimaced as the trip to the church only reminded him of his missing Alpha.

“Jesus he’s fine,” he told himself. “He’s just taking his sweet ass time.”

He turned away from the church and noticed Gabriel coming his way. The smile on his face wasn’t creepy he thought.

“I’m sorry, were you looking for me?” Gabe asked him.

“Just because I’m standing in front of a church doesn’t mean I’m looking for a priest. I’m just wandering, and waiting for Ricky boy.”

Gabriel nodded.

“I’m sure he’s fine.” Negan latched onto the simple generic phrase. Without realizing it, the concern he’d hidden showed on his face, which Gabriel picked up on. “If you’re worried, I don’t think it hurts to pray for his safe return.”

Negan put on a look of confidence.

“No need. It’s like you said. He’s fine. It hasn’t been that long anyway.”

“That’s true.” He clapped him on the shoulder. “Well, if you need to talk, the door’s always open.”

Gabriel started to move on, but Negan decided to speak.

“You ever, get a weird feeling in your gut?” He didn’t meet the Beta’s eyes. He was starting to feel a little embarrassed for voicing his concern out loud. 

“What kind of weird feeling?”

Negan shuffled on the spot.

“I don’t fucking know. A feeling like, you’re not sure if everything’s alright.”

“Is that how you’re feeling about Rick?” 

Negan frowned, hating how he was feeling even more.

“Rick’s capable. It’s the goddamn Omega in me that’s fucking me up, nothing more.”

Gabriel bowed his head in thought.

“You know there’s no shame in worrying. He is your Alpha, so it’s only natural.”

Negan gave a smirk as he thought about where he’d started in this new world to where he’d ended up. 

“Sometimes I wish it wasn’t,” he grumbled. “The damn Omega side of things is so damn needy and weak. Makes me…shit.” He dropped his eyes. He didn’t want to say it. It would have been bad if he’d said it.

“Go on,” Gabriel prodded gently as he rested a hand on his shoulder. “Makes you what?”

“Makes me, miss the days when that wasn’t a thing.” He hated that he felt compelled to duck his head in something of shame. Gabriel wasn’t an Alpha, but of course a Beta was still higher on the hierarchy than he was. And when Gabriel frowned, Negan found he felt a little worse about confessing that much.

“You mean, you miss being an Alpha,” Gabe clarified. 

Negan wasn’t sure that was really the case. His Alpha days felt like ancient history now, and he had already become quite adjusted to being an Omega despite the drawbacks of it. On top of that, he had gotten two wonderful pups out of his transformation; He had never been able to accomplish that much as an Alpha since he’d always been shooting blanks. 

“Not exactly, but, Jesus. I just, don’t want to be so fucking needy for Rick.”

Gabe smiled softly in response. 

“Well you are carrying,” he said as he indicated his belly, “and that usually makes the needy side of an Omega worse.”

“Yeah,” Negan muttered as a small wave of embarrassment took him for admitting to neediness.

“How about I guide you through some relaxation exercises? Help settle that Omega side of yourself,” he offered.

Before Negan could respond, the gate opened. There was a jolt of interest within him as the knot in his stomach diminished.

“Maybe next time,” he said as he moved toward the gates, “and don’t forget the holy water.”

He put on his big shit-eating grin as he marched, feeling ready to tell his Alpha off for his lateness. At last the near concern he’d felt would be gone. But just as he opened his mouth to greet Rick, disappointment began to fill him as a car drove inside. He could easily see that it was a party of three within, and when the doors opened, Rick was not one of the members. He did however see Michonne exiting from the driver’s side, but overall it wasn’t Rick.

“Goddamn it,” he muttered. He made his way to her anyways as a few Betas stepped forward to help unload some of the supplies they had picked up. 

“You know, Rick’s all about using horses now,” Negan told her with a sly smile.

“I’m all for it, but with a supply run, we’re going to need a wagon.”

Negan moved closer and the smile dropped.

“While you were out there, did you see Rick heading back?” 

She frowned and shook her head.

“No. He’s still not back?” There was some concern present in her voice.

“No. He didn’t come back last night.” He certainly didn’t want to give her the impression that this was a major problem. He wasn’t some frazzled pup, and Rick was a capable Alpha.

“Did you ask around?”

“No,” Negan said with the lightest growl. “And no one’s come up to me asking where he is.”

“Maybe he went back to the Hilltop,” Michonne suggested. “You haven’t experienced this but in this pack it’s normal for members to be late.”

“But Rick’s the goddamn Alpha, and this was supposed to be a quick run to the Kingdom and back, not a scavenging mission.”

This caught Michonne’s attention more. 

“Alright. We’ll give it a little longer, then we’ll discuss sending someone to the Kingdom.” 

Negan nodded. That felt like a step in the right direction, yet he told himself that he really hadn’t been gone long enough for that. Then again, a pack leader’s absence was something to look into early.

 

The rest of the day played out like any typical day, and it wasn’t until Negan brought up Rick’s lateness did people take notice that the Alpha wasn’t wandering around. Apparently it had been assumed that he’d stayed the night at the Kingdom or had either returned early and had decided to spend the day indoors with the kids. They were reasonable conclusions to jump to and Negan willed himself to believe them, but now Rick’s words of things having run smoothly so far were staring to ring in his ears. Rick had worked hard to make sure the pack would always be ready and prepared for anything to befall them, but what if it had befallen Rick himself and not the rest of the pack? What if he had fallen from his horse and gotten badly injured? What if he had fallen in a ditch somewhere and fallen unconscious?

Negan put down the plate he was currently washing and shut his eyes as he sighed. He had to stop worrying. Rick could take care of himself. He’d been told the stories of Rick running off to do some heroic thing and always managing to come back. This was no different.

But, he was only supposed to go the Kingdom.

He picked up the plate and went back to drying it. When he turned and took notice of the darkening sky out the window, he moved around the corner and faced the door like an expectant dog awaiting his owner. A minute passed before frustration gripped him.

“Shit.”

He set the plate down and stormed outside. They’d waited long enough.

Up ahead he noticed Michonne talking to Daryl and Scott. He assumed they’d felt the same way as he did since they were huddled together speaking in low voices. She stopped talking when she saw him coming. Daryl and Scott also took notice of him. 

“I hope you three are talking about what I think you’re talking about.” He came to a stop and looked them all in the eyes. “It’s time to send someone to the goddamn Kingdom.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Negan's ready for the search to begin


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan is eager to hear something about his Alpha

None of the three gave him looks of surprise at his demand, which gave Negan satisfaction. It was a clear sign that they were on the same page. 

“Well? Who the hell’s going?” he prodded impatiently.

After a moment of considering him, Daryl responded.

“I’m going.”

Daryl looked away when Negan turned to him. He could feel the friction between them easily because it had always been there. It was lucky if they ever traded more than a few words with one another, but Negan had never been concerned about that, especially now. What mattered was that the Beta desired to fetch his brother. 

“Then get a move on,” Negan ordered with a little more force than he intended. 

“That’s what we were just discussing,” said Scott. “Late night travel, especially on a bike, is risky.”

“What, are you afraid of the dark?” Negan asked Daryl. The tone was patronizing and served to trigger a scowl out of the man.

“I ain’t afraid of nothing,” he spat before turning to the others. “Makes no difference, night or day. We gotta make sure Rick’s good.”

“No,” Michonne disagreed. “We don’t make long journeys during the night. Rick doesn’t approve of it.”

“Rick’s not here goddamn it,” Negan pointed out, mildly aggressive. “Rules are meant to be goddamn bent when the Alpha’s in trouble.”

“We don’t know that he is,” Scott reasoned. “And we can’t risk people getting hurt. It’s better to go during the day. It’ll be safer.”

Daryl was already shaking his head.

“No. As much as I hate it, I agree with Negan. I’m going.”

He stalked away to grab his bike before any more arguments could be made about it. Negan found he felt pretty relieved, so much so he flashed a cheeky grin at the two. 

“Once again that damn, dusty, dirty Beta’s got more balls than most people around here.” 

His thoughts had slipped back to the moment Daryl had stood and popped him across the jaw when he had tried to get Rosita to look at the blood and grey matter of Abraham which was coating his bat. Oddly enough, the thought inspired him to imagine Rick in a similar position where he was laid out somewhere with a bashed in head. It sent a nasty shiver down his spine and wiped the smile from his face.

“I’ll go too,” Scott decided. “He shouldn’t go alone.”

The man made for the horses, leaving Michonne looking displeased. 

“We don’t want to risk waiting,” he told her. She grit her teeth, then relaxed. “I can see it on your face. You don’t want to fucking wait either.”

“I just don’t want to lose any more people,” she whispered. 

Negan balled his fists and frowned, determined.

“We’re not losing anybody.”

He stayed put until Daryl rode up to the opening gate on his bike with Scott behind him on horseback. The sight of the Beta taking the lead gave Negan promise. If there was anyone that could uncover what was keeping Rick, it was him. 

“Let me know when they drag him back. I got an earful for him.” 

He patted her shoulder then headed back home. 

Waiting for him on the porch was Jake who was holding his bunny close and meeting his gaze with wide eyes.

“Where’s daddy?” he asked as soon as Negan got close enough. The pup seemed on the verge of tears.

“Your Uncle Daryl’s gone to bring him back, and when he gets here we can tell daddy off for goofing around with the tiger.”

“He, didn’t get eaten?”

At first Negan was confused as to where that idea even came from, then an irrational image of Rick getting eaten by walkers briefly played in his head. Quickly enough he realized he was talking about the tiger and referring to the joke he’d told when they’d discussed the fair.

“Oh you mean the tiger.” The pups didn’t quite have a grasps on walkers yet. “No little prince, Rick’s too fast and clever for a tiger to take him down. He’s just wasting time playing with it. That’s all.”

“Oh.”

With a bit of effort, he lifted Jake into his arms. The extra weight had him toddling on the spot, as it normally did now whenever he picked up a pup while pregnant.

“Jesus, either you’re gaining weight, or I am.”

“You’re fat mommy,” Jake said with a giggle.

Negan emitted a soft growl and feigned looking pissed.

“Remind me to get back at you tonight for that.”

 

Negan drummed his fingers against the frame of the doorway as he looked down at the empty bed next to his own.

“What a pain in the ass,” he grumbled. “You better be goofing around with that tiger.”

“Hey, Negan.”

He stepped back as Carl wandered up to him from his room.

“Planning to sneak out to see that Omega Enid? Cause if you are, you’re going about it the wrong way.” He added a whistle at the end for effect which had Carl looking quite annoyed.

“You really expect me to go all the way to the Hilltop at this time a night?”

“Why not?” Negan said, shrugging, “You’re old enough to do that kind of thing. Besides, being that she’s presented already, I figured you’d want to hit a claim before someone else did.”

Carl refused to look at Negan then.

“Enid and I are just friends. And, it doesn’t matter because…well, I haven’t presented yet.”

Negan took the boy in and reflected back to the moment Carl had traveled all the way to his Sanctuary. Even before such a bold move, he could already see a strong Alpha on the rise. He had never admitted it aloud, but back then there had been a few times where he fantasized about taking the kid to raise up among his kind. Being that he’d been able to break Rick down to Omega level, he couldn’t view Rick as a fitting Alpha parent. That had changed of course.

“It’ll be here soon,” he said softly. He almost hated the idea of Carl becoming a man. Having him as a nearly grown pup under his watch was something he didn’t like letting go of. “I just know you’ll go Alpha, and Rick’s gonna be proud as fuck.”

It was clear concern expressed upon the pup’s face with the mention of his dad.

“What do you think happened to him?”

Negan leaned away as if mildly surprised.

“I know you of all people aren’t worried,” he practically asked. 

“I’m not. I know he’s fine. I’m just curious.”

“Yeah,” he agreed quietly, “me too.”

“Well, night.”

Negan nodded and watched Carl make his way back to his room. He wished he had they boy’s fearlessness at the moment, but he just couldn’t muster it. Suddenly he found himself smiling, then chuckling at the thought of Carl being able to keep it together better than him. He was sure the pup was right. Rick was fine, so he should stop worrying like his own pups. He entered the room, ready for a better night’s sleep.

 

When morning came, Negan wasn’t sure he was quite ready for it, but he got up nonetheless. He yawned and stretched out the aches that had been hiding under the muscles. Sleep had been, for the most part, tolerable. In fact, he felt pretty stress free. He glanced over at the bed. There was still no sign of Rick having come in, but he didn’t panic. Daryl and Scott had been on the case, so that would mean positive results.   
He threw his feet over the side of the bed. A few kicks in his belly had him groaning.

“Really? This early kid?”

The pup within went at it again. Negan huffed in amusement.

“Either you’re really fucking hungry this morning, or you’re trying out for soccer in there.” His stomach settled as if the pup had stopped to contemplate the answer. “Let’s assume it’s hunger, cause I’m fucking starved.”

He lifted the extra weight and readied himself for the day. After that, he stopped by the twins’ room and peeked in at them. They were still sleeping soundly. He moved on downstairs to start another typical morning. Negan decided bowls of hot cereal would do nicely, so he reached in a cabinet for a pot.

By the time he was stirring the cereal to completion, he heard Lucy and Jake coming down. 

“Daddy, daddy,” Jake called out before making it to the kitchen. Negan watched his happiness die down a little.

“Daddy’s not in yet honey.”

“Is unco Daryl?” Lucy asked as she pulled up a seat and climbed into it.

“I haven’t checked, but I will in a moment. For now, it’s time to eat up.” 

He divided up the cereal, then approached them with the bowls. As he started preparing his own, he began to feel anxious. He was quite interested in hearing about where Rick had been. 

Carl turned the corner, yawning and looking pretty tired. 

“Well well well, looks like you snuck out to see Enid after all,” Negan joked.

“Shut-up, I did not,” he said with a whine in his tone.

Negan only laughed then set his own bowl down. He turned to the door with a look of longing.

“Say, why don’t you chill out here with Luce and Jake. I’m gonna go update myself on the Rick situation.”

Jake looked up immediately and started to get out of the chair.

“Me too!”

“No, stay put little man and fill up that gut. I’m not having puny pups in my house.”

He turned and stepped out onto the porch. 

“Alright Ricky. This time I get to take a little vacation getaway.”

He expected to see the normal goings on of the community, but at the moment many of the members were migrating to a group up ahead. Negan frowned in annoyance at the crowd Rick was drawing for his return. He had never received such a treatment when he’d been the Alpha of his own pack. The little pup inside gave a kick, prompting Negan to rest a hand over it.

“Come on. Let’s go hear the story your pop has for us.”

He followed the crowd. A few of the Alexandrians took notice of him, but for the most part their attention was on the growing noisy crowd.

“What the hell are we going to do?” Negan heard someone shout as he got closer.

“We’re going to be fine.” It was Michonne.

Negan moved closer. The people closest to him took notice and started to part. At the center of the crowd, there was no Rick Grimes. Everyone had been surrounding Michonne, Daryl, and Scott. Various questions and comments were thrown out so quickly and loudly that Negan couldn’t really make out what anyone was going on about. 

The sinking feeling returned to his gut. There was a chill that was hitting him the wrong way. Rick was not standing among his closest members like he should be. Scott wasn’t looking at the crowd and Daryl was doing an awful impression of someone trying not to look worried. Negan moved a little closer and wet his lips.

“Where’s Rick!”

It didn’t seem possible that he could be heard over everyone, but the noise was already quieting down as if he had bellowed the question. All eyes were on him including Scott’s. Negan felt like an intruder with the way people were staring, but he forced himself to stand his ground. He had a right to a heads up when something concerned his Alpha.

“Where’s Rick?” he repeated.

No one answered right away. Daryl impersonated a statue before he finally made eye contact with him.

“Couldn’t find him,” he muttered.

Negan was sure he hadn’t heard right. 

“What do you mean you didn’t find him? You’re a goddamn tracker!”

“We met with the king,” Scott spoke up. “Rick made it to him. Ezekiel said he only stayed for about an hour then left to come back here. We looked for tracks and found his, horse.”

“And?” Negan pressed, impatient.

“The horse was dead. It was being eaten, by walkers.” Scott looked ready to give up his lunch. Negan just stared at him, dumbfounded. He was unaware that he was shaking his head, slowly.

It wasn’t possible. A group of walkers couldn’t have easily bested the stubborn asshole.

“No. No, that’s bullshit.” They were playing some stupid little prank on him. He himself had a sense of humor most people couldn’t handle, and now they were giving it back to him, but it wasn’t funny. He balled his fists and hardened his eyes. “Where…the hell…is Rick?”

Again Daryl seemed the only one capable of meeting his eyes. And in those eyes, Negan saw fear.

“We don’t know.”

Negan stared. He wasn’t sure if he was breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's an interesting turn to see Negan fearing for Rick when in the beginning that wasn't the case at all.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan inspires others to have faith in Rick

He was barely aware of the commotion starting up again with various questions and comments thrown at the three before them. Negan didn’t feel he was a part of it. He was standing there alone in his own space, thinking about what Daryl had just said. He and Scott didn’t know where Rick was. They had found his horse dead, but they didn’t know what had happened to his Alpha.

There was no sense of panic or sorrow. There was just blankness. The world was tuned out but aside from that, Negan couldn’t really feel the right things at the moment. All he could do was just stare at a point on the ground as everything seemed to go fuzzy around him.

“What the hell are we gonna do?” A perturbed Beta demanded.

“Were there any signs of Rick at all?” Aaron asked.

“Maybe he went to see Maggie,” a female Omega offered.

“No! I bet he’s been taken!” growled a large Beta.

“If he’s been taken-”

“It was the Saviors!” 

Several eyes looked at the Alpha that had interrupted Rosita. The accusation had been enough to stir Negan back into reality. He turned to the Alpha, who was currently giving him the sharp glare he was quite familiar with, only this time it was a lot darker.

“We don’t know that,” said Tara.

“But what if it is them?” another Alpha questioned. “We can’t take another fight. Not without Rick.”

Negan looked away from the one Alpha that had suggested that the Saviors had something to do with this while the crowd’s fears ramped up with the new theory. His heart hadn’t been pounding, until now. Surely that wasn’t the case. No one had come across any members of his old pack in four years.

“We’re going to be alright!” Michonne cried. The crowd quieted as she turned on the spot to look at them all. Negan’s eyes were glued to her, begging for words that would knock away the threat of terror he was beginning to feel. At such a close range, Negan could sense her strength, an Alpha’s strength. “This doesn’t mean Rick’s in trouble. We’ll send a search party out.”

“But what about the walkers attacking his horse!” someone cried from the back.

“They got to Rick!” another shouted.

“Say it Daryl! The Saviors didn’t get him, it was walkers!” cried a panicked Beta.

“No! We have to trust that Rick’s okay!” Michonne tried. “He could be hiding from a herd!”

“Michonne’s right!” Gabe yelled. “We have to be calm!”

“There’s nothing to be calm about!”

“Rick’s dead and they aren’t telling us!”

“Just tell us!”

“What do we do!”

It was falling apart rapidly with all the possibilities being thrown out. Negan wasn’t too surprised by it. The pack leader was essential. He or she was the one everyone revolved around, and the minute there was word of something happening to the leader, members were ready to come to the leader’s aide. Negan tensed as the Alphas started growling and flexing their fingers into fists. Their protective and territorial instincts were at a high. In a way it was a sign of how loyal they were to their leader as opposed to it being people overreacting and losing their minds early. With the world the way it was now, one couldn’t underestimate the dangers of traveling. But this was Rick Grimes. Negan had learned how he managed to survive so far, which is why it was still hard for him to believe that he was just gone.

“We’ll send people!” 

Michonne’s words were drowned out as people began conversing with one another. There were more theories thrown as well as plans, but what was worse was hearing someone question who would be the new true Alpha.

Negan emitted a soft growl of annoyance as he stepped into the center.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

It was like someone had hit the mute button afterwards. Negan looked around and saw their startled expressions. Naturally there were those that were pissed that he had the nerve to demand such a thing, and of course it was hitting his Omega side in an uncomfortable way. He had an urge to duck and drop his eyes, yet he held it at bay. 

“You people,” he started. He shook his head at them. “You people, are making me goddamn sick right now.” Several Alphas growled loudly at this Omega who dared talk this way. Michonne held a hand up to keep them at bay. She appeared just as surprised by his outburst as everyone else, but he had her attention as well as Daryl’s and Scott’s. “This is Rick Grimes we’re talking about. MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN RICK GRIMES! The same goddamn Grimes that’s survived a shitload of herds and assholes to get to the point of becoming your true Alpha. Do you motherfuckers know Rick or don’t you! You really think he’d go out as dessert to some shitty ass walker? Or get taken by some lowlife Savior? Use your fucking brains for a goddamn second and keep your instincts in check! The Rick Grimes I know ain’t gone. He’s fucking out there, and we’re bringing his sorry ass back! I goddamn guarantee it!”

No one was cheering or clapping in agreement. No one appeared inspired by his speech. They were just stunned as if he had been some walker that had suddenly started talking. For Negan it had been like an adrenaline rush, and now that he was coming down from it he was done. He moved forward in the direction of his house. People were eager to part for him. He could hear a few quiet growls from the riled Alphas before others started conversing quietly. Negan tuned them out quickly as he struggled to come up with a way to explain it to the pups. 

Were they really going to bring Rick back? 

The frustrating moment of the breaking pack had hit a button and encouraged him to speak. It had been how he’d kept his pack together in the past. Stomping out the rising fear immediately with strong words, or threats, had always worked when he’d been an Alpha. Michonne had tried and the pack had expected comforting words from her, but they hadn’t expected anything from him.

As he stared ahead, Carl came out onto the porch looking curious. Negan gritted his teeth, but found he felt a little better about breaking the news to him first. Carl, being older, would be able to handle the news better. He would believe his dad was okay.

“What’s going on over there?” Carl asked as he gestured toward the crowd.

Negan ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

“It’s about Rick,” he started bitterly. A flash of fear shown in his eyes which twisted Negan’s stomach. “Daryl and Scott found his horse as walker chow, but they didn’t find Rick.” 

“That’s good then,” Carl declared. “I mean he probably had to hide from walkers.”

“That’s an idea going around, among other thoughts.”

“Like what?” He frowned as he understood. “They think he’s dead.”

“That, or someone’s taken him,” Negan added.

He climbed the porch and settled in the chair. Now that he was away from the others, a wall that was holding back a sense of alarm was starting to crack within him. 

“But, they’re sending people to find him right?”

“That’s probably what they’re talking about now.” He wasn’t looking at Carl. He had suddenly taken an interest in looking at the church in the distance.

“Well I’m going too.”

Negan swerved around, pissed.

“The hell you will,” he warned. If he had still been an Alpha, the growl coming from his throat would have made an impression. 

“I’m not some little pup,” he argued. “I’m almost an Alpha!”

“Almost being the keyword,” Negan argued back. “You’re staying here.”

“He’s my dad!”

“Your dad wouldn’t want you looking for him and you damn well know it! And as his Omega, he’d be fucking pissed at me if I let you.” Carl started to argue again, but he didn’t get a chance. “Look, I know you’re capable. I’ve always been willing to let you run your own shit especially when Rick thinks you shouldn’t. But I can’t on this one. Rick wouldn’t want me to. I, don’t want to.”

Carl backed down to take it in, but Negan could tell he still looked ready to run out there. 

“Okay,” he said finally. “He can take care of himself anyways.”

Negan flashed a smile.

“Just the same goddamn thing I was telling those assholes. Rick can take care of himself.” He would hold onto that idea; grab it by the balls if he had to. “Now I gotta figure out how to explain it to the little Alphas inside.”

“You want me to talk to them?”

“No. It’s my job.” He wasn’t looking forward to it at all. Then he reasoned there was no real news to break to them. For the moment their dad wasn’t declared dead. He was just a little late. “Just, play with them for a while. Keep them busy til I chat with them.”

“I will.”

Once Carl headed back in, Negan hunched over as much as his large belly would allow. As of now, his mind was looping the fact that the tracker Daryl had not been able to find anything. 

The sound of footsteps coming his way alerted him to Michonne. He couldn’t help noticing that she looked a little impressed.

“Well that was…something.”

Negan huffed and leaned back in the chair.

“Let me guess, they want my head for opening my damn mouth like that.” Surely his outburst had reminded them of the days when he’d had the pack by the balls as a fearful Alpha. He had managed to sum up the same powerful tone he’d used whenever he spoke to a crowd.

“Actually no,” she admitted. “I mean, a few are, but I think you managed to hit the right nerve.”

Negan raised a brow, not anticipating such a reaction.

“You’re shitting me.”

“No. Right now the panic’s died down. They believe Rick’s okay thanks to you.”

He turned away from her as his stomach flip-flopped. 

“What if it was all bullshit? What I said.”

“I know you don’t believe that.” She even growled for emphasis. “You know Rick just as well as they do. Better even.”

A sad smile graced his face then.

“Even the best get bested sometimes. Hell, look at me. I was on top of shit, and then I dropped below it.”

“But you’re alive,” came her firm reply.

Negan couldn’t deny that. He had gotten what was officially a death sentence by getting bitten, and though it made him drop a level, he had survived. It was something to be grateful for in the end.

“Rick’s alive too. He has to be,” she added. Negan held onto that idea too. “We’re organizing a search party.”

“And you want me to come?” He preferred joining a party to confronting the sad faces of Lucy and Jake. 

“No,” she said, incredulously. “I’m giving you an update on the situation.”

“Right.” He deflated in his seat. 

Michonne moved closer. 

“And, for the time being, I’m looking over the pack.” 

“I would expect you to. I sure as hell wouldn’t be allowed,” he griped as he fidgeted in place.

“You know this pack has no problem with Omegas taking charge.”

“No. They just have a problem with me.”

He didn’t blame them. After what he’d done to them, he wouldn’t have been surprised to see them all march out the gates if he’d been bold enough to take the position of substitute pack leader. That wasn’t his place anymore. 

“Negan.”

He waved it off.

“I ain’t offended darling. They can feel however the fuck they want. All I care about is knowing what happened to Rick.”

She dropped her eyes and nodded.

“We all do. If you need anything, let me know.”

He was compelled to ask her to break the news to the twins, but decided to let her leave. He dropped his head back and shut his eyes.

“Fuck.” 

He really hoped the search party found him soon.

 

Jake sought Negan out on the couch when Carl could no longer keep him distracted with a game. Lucy on the other hand was having too much of a good time with the quirky board game they had found. 

“Where’s daddy?” He looked quite worried.

“I’m sorry sweetheart. Daddy’s still not back yet.”

“Uncle Daryl got daddy?” he asked hopefully.

Negan took a minute to figure out how to best explain without making him worry. He thought back to the speech he’d given and put faith in his own words.

“Daddy had a little trouble out there, but he’ll be back okay. Daryl and a bunch of other people are gonna go help him.”

Jake nodded but didn’t look wholly convinced. With a bowed head, he wandered back to his siblings. Negan hated it, and he could only imagine how much worse he’d feel if the pack failed to find Rick. To keep from worrying himself, he just concentrated on the fact that his Alpha was a capable man. It just looked bad because of the dead horse. 

Not wanting to think on it further, he decided to join his pups in the board game.

“Who’s ready to get their asses beat?”

 

At bedtime, Negan stood in the doorway string at Rick’s empty bed. He had forgotten to feel hopeful and instead dread was threatening to fill him up. 

“Mommy?”

He turned as Lucy padded up to him clutching her doll.

“What is it princess? Is it about daddy?” She nodded quietly. “Well you don’t have to worry your pretty little head, because daddy’s gonna be just fine. He’s just late.”

“Oh…okay.”

“Do you want me to tuck you in again?”

She shook her head.

“Carl’s doing it. He’s reading us stories.”

“Alright then. Goodnight.” Negan bent down and kissed her forehead.

“Night mommy.” She turned and ran back to her room.

Negan crossed into his own room and hovered over his bed. He couldn’t help wondering how many nights he might have to spend alone in the room, so with such a thought in mind he moved to Rick’s bed.  
He gently pulled the covers aside and climbed inside. Immediately the scent of his Alpha traveled up his nose and struck that side of him that would submit as if Rick had bit into his gland. The tension left his body as he ground himself into the mattress and whined. It wasn’t much, but it was a small bit of comfort that would do until the real Alpha showed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was glad to have Negan give a speech that had the power of coming from an Alpha even though he's an Omega :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan loses it at those trying to help

“Just breathe in…slowly. Empty your mind…clear away any thoughts that might surface. Everything is alright. Good…very good. Now, breathe out…slowly.”

Negan followed Gabriel’s instructions as he exhaled. His closed eyes fluttered slightly with the need to just pop them open. 

“Keep your eyes closed,” Gabriel said as he could sense Negan’s restlessness. “Just let yourself slip. You are floating. Your mind is clear. Just keep breathing deeply…in…and out…in…and out. Let your shoulders drop. More…more…”

Negan frowned and shifted in his chair. His momentarily cleared mind was starting to fill, and a twinge of tension was seeping back into his muscles.

“Fuck,” he muttered.

“You’re alright…everything’s alright. Just let go as you breathe…in…and out…in…and…out.”

He couldn’t let go any longer. Instead he tensed up and finally opened his eyes.

“Screw it, it’s not working.”

“Meditation can take a little time for some people. If you keep trying you’ll get the hang of it.”

“No.” He turned his attention back to Lucy who was currently sitting on a stool before him as he’d been doing her hair before Gabriel’s session. He peeked around at her face and noticed her eyes were shut, and she was sitting quite still. “I think Lucy got more out of that shit than me.”

“I can do it mommy,” she said, delighted as she looked up at him.

“Great, I’ll schedule your next appointment with Gabey.” He fell into a process of separating her hair into sections and brushing it out. He glanced at the priest and noticed the look of minor disappointment. On the couch across from him, Michonne also appeared to share the same expression. “Don’t take offense by it. Some people are made for it, and others, like me, barely heard of it.”

“He may have a point,” Michonne pointed out. “His form of relieving stress was swinging around a bat.”

Negan froze, affronted, with the brush hovering in mid-air. Michonne’s face fell upon realizing her tease had struck a nerve the wrong way.

“Sorry,” she apologized.

He went back to brushing Lucy’s hair as he tried to flush away thoughts of his old bloody bat, as well as thoughts of Rick which had his stomach knotting up. 

“Don’t be,” he replied in a hushed tone. “It’s true. Lucille was a stress reliever, especially when I…well, you know.”

Michonne and Gabriel traded a look as they were both reminded of the past. They did know. Negan didn’t have to mention it aloud with his pup within earshot. But then Lucy turned back looking confused.

“Who’s Loos-ill?”

“Never you mind sweetheart.” He gently turned her head forward again so he could continue.

As he moved the brush again, it suddenly felt harder to do. The simple chores of caring for the pups and attempting relaxation methods had been good distractions, but they never kept away the anxiety that churned in his chest. Rick had been gone close to a week now and so far the search attempts were failing. Negan stopped entertaining the idea that Rick was capable of caring for himself. He had clearly landed in a situation that either had him severely hurt, captured…or dead.

Holding back the worry had not been easy at all, but for the sake of his pups he had forced it back for as long as he could. He couldn’t have them sharing everyone’s sorrow. They needed to believe that their father would be found, alive and well. He still needed to believe it.

He shifted uncomfortably and hung his head lower to prevent Gabriel and Michonne from seeing his face. Thoughts of his Alpha was casting a shadow over his eyes and the last thing he wanted to do was show it off. It was bad enough that his Omega side was willing him to breakdown just because his Alpha wasn’t around to stick his dick up his ass.

At such a thought, shame followed. It wasn’t just about mating; he was claimed to Rick. They were bonded, so naturally not having him near caused emotional problems. But, it went further than that when he really thought about it. It was supposed to be all about the claim and that was it, but after four years they had gone from enemies, to friends. This, of course, was not something he’d ever admit aloud.

He wrapped up his daughter’s hair by pulling it up into a ponytail. Then he set the brush aside, rubbed at his brow, and forced a smile on his face.

“There you go princess. You’re all prettied up for the day.” 

She turned bright blue eyes on him which seemed wetter than usual. Negan had read once how easy it was for pups to sense their parent’s emotions, especially when the parent was an Omega. He ran his fingers over her brow to put a stray hair in place.

“Don’t be sad mommy. I miss daddy too.”

Negan could feel his own eyes getting a little moist. He didn’t want to constantly tell her Rick was alright and that he was coming home. It was starting to seem like a lie. So he settled for planting a kiss on her forehead.

“Don’t worry about me sweetheart. Go…go check on your brother. He’s being far too quiet in his room, and you know I don’t trust him.”

She smiled slightly at the joke, then scurried away. Negan leaned back in his chair and exhaled sharply. He welcomed the stress and allowed it to bring him back to that place of terrible uncertainty. 

“Daryl discussed an area they haven’t searched.” Negan zoned in on Michonne but expressed nothing. “It’s several miles from the Kingdom.”

“What’s so special about it?” Negan asked in a flat voice.

“It’s, an old Satellite station.”

Something contorted in Negan at the mention of it, and what followed were images of several of his men who had been killed, by his Alpha. That in turn reminded him of the moment where he watched Simon bring Rick and his people to their knees before he made his great entrance.

“So what are you implying?” he asked slowly. He already knew. “Are you really implying that, my old pack had something to do with Rick?”

Michonne hunched over as her eyes dropped to her feet.

“I don’t know. We haven’t heard from them since the attack, and it would be odd for them to suddenly strike after all this time. But it’s something. Maybe there are others living in that station now.”

Negan wanted to latch onto that string of hope. Anything was better than thinking Rick had truly become walker chow that day along with his horse. However for the time being, his mind didn’t want to follow the hopeful route.

“And what happens when they go there and find nothing? What then?” His voice was rising and his fingers were starting to dig into the arms of the chair. He unconsciously ground into the seat. “What the fuck am I supposed to tell my children? What the hell am I supposed to tell Carl!”

“Negan, you need to calm down,” said Gabriel.

“And you need to shut up and listen to me. In case you two haven’t noticed, I’m fucking eight months pregnant!” He pointed to his bulging belly as something akin to fire crackled inside of him. “I have a third pup on the way, and my goddamn Alpha’s not here! What happens if he misses it?”

“He won’t,” Michonne assured him with much confidence in her expression and voice.

“You don’t know that,” Negan growled through gritted teeth. “He could miss it. He could never come back! And if he doesn’t…what the fuck am I gonna do? Three pups, and one going into Alpha-hood, and I’m gonna have to be the one to take care of it all. I’m...I’m gonna have to be the one, to do this alone.” He was shaking his head. His body was starting to tremble. “I need him…I need Rick.” 

He realized he was begging them, but he was getting desperate.

“We know,” Michonne stated.

“No.” He raised himself to his feet. “No. No, you’re an Alpha.” He looked from Michonne to Gabriel. “And you’re a fucking Beta. You don’t have any idea how this feels from an Omega’s perspective.”

“Maybe not,” she agreed, “But I do know what it’s like to lose my bonded Omega.”

Negan huffed and turned away. They were trying. He could see that much, but right now it wasn’t enough. In his opinion he had every right to be pissed about the situation, and all he wanted to do was pummel something or someone for causing him this grief. 

“Do me a favor and watch the pups. I need some damn air.”

 

Negan shuttered as he stepped onto the porch and released a deep sigh. Now that he had spilled one of his woes, it was nagging at him on a more intense level. He laid his hands over his belly and rubbed. He couldn’t handle raising the pup alone. It had been a nightmare when he’d first given birth considering his depression, and though he had adapted to parenting well enough it was still hard. Without Rick it would be impossible. 

“Can’t do this,” he muttered. “I can’t do this alone.”

While barely realizing it, he stepped off the porch and just picked a direction to walk in. People passing by took notice and instead of the few glares he’d receive, he saw only looks of sympathy which he didn’t want. But despite treating him like a widow, no one outside of a few dared to ask him how he was doing. Apparently Negan without Rick standing over him was something to fear. He shot them a nasty look. They weren’t doing their part in trying to find his Alpha. In his opinion the whole pack should be out there searching.

A little growl slipped from his mouth when he noticed Daryl, Rosita, and Aaron gathered together over a map on a picnic table. Nearby under a tree was Daryl’s dog, panting as he relaxed in the shade.

The sight of it didn’t inspire faith in the search, but rather the opposite. Both Rosita and Daryl were leading the two search parties that were sent out for Rick, chosen for their skills. So far it didn’t appear that their skills were doing much good. Suddenly he didn’t feel like some pining Omega. He flexed his fingers, wishing he had Lucille in his hand as he marched straight toward them. 

“Has the day finally come where you assholes finally make use of yourselves?” He had asked it as hard and bold as his Omega side would allow. 

All three looked around. Daryl looked like he was internally seething, while Aaron just looked baffled. With a growl, Rosita addressed him with flashing eyes.

“You think we aren’t?” she challenged.

“You haven’t produced any damn results. Now what does that tell you?”

Rosita raised the volume on her growls and Negan fought against the need to back down before the Alpha. 

“Negan, this isn’t easy for them,” Aaron said in defense. “Rick could be anywhere, and anything could have happened.”

“Don’t give me that shit. They’re just not trying hard enough! If it was my goddamn pack, they’d have found him already!”

Daryl was on his feet, throwing the map aside.

“You think you can do better?” he questioned as soon as he got close to him.

Negan rose himself up against the Beta. He remembered that Daryl didn’t break easily. He had captured the man and worked him to the point where he expected him to become one of his own, but it had never happened.

“I sure as hell can do goddamn better than your sorry ass. You’re a fucking tracker and you can’t even track one man down. I thought Rick was supposed to be like a best friend to you. That should’ve been more than enough to motivate your ass.” He could see Daryl was barely containing his rage. “So since you can’t do shit, why don’t you let that damn dog of yours take your place cause you sure as fuck ain’t good for shit.”

Daryl made to lunge, but Aaron was quick enough to grab him before he could lay a finger on him.

“Daryl don’t!” Aaron cried. “He’s pregnant remember!”

Daryl glanced down looking startled as if he had forgotten that fact. Negan too reacted to the reminder. At that moment he had felt like he was back in his old element of being a forceful Alpha coming down on the Beta. 

“STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THIS!” Negan roared. His heart was hammering and his body was shaking. “Makes no fucking difference how pregnant I am! WHAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU FUCKS CAN’T FIND RICK!”

Daryl’s pet was on his feet, giving a few barks upon sensing the strong tension. People in the area came to a stop to watch. If Negan had taken notice, he would have seen the same expressions that had greeted him when he first burst into Alexandria to steal. 

“We’re doing the best we can damn it!” Rosita shouted back. 

“You think we don’t want to find him?” Daryl growled as he threw Aaron off of him. “He’s my brother!”

“Then why can’t you find him!” Negan prodded. All the emotions that he’d developed ever since Rick had disappeared was at their highest. “Why can’t you find my Alpha?”

The anger seemed to deflate out of Daryl as his eyes misted and his lower lip trembled just a little. He flexed his fingers into fists a few times as if revving himself up to keep going with the fight. In the end, he dropped his head and wandered away. He whistled to signal for the dog to follow, which he happily did.

“Damn it,” Rosita muttered as she watched him. 

“Let him go. What the hell is he contributing?” Negan argued. He took in the watching crowd at last and let his eyes roam over all of the faces. “WHAT THE HELL ARE ANY OF YOU FUCKS CONTRIBUTING? You’re supposed to be the pack Rick is so goddamn proud of. The pack he bends his back over for, and yet none of you motherfuckers can repay him by helping him! I’m sorry I didn’t take more of you fuckers out when I had Lucille!”

It was a slap he thought was well deserved. More than ever he felt the need to have Lucille by his side. He figured if he had it now, the sense of urgency would be greater. But then the hostility was dying. The impression he’d given them of the Alpha from long ago was disappearing, and in its place was a frightened Omega, unable to believe he had shed himself before them all in such a way. Rarely had he ever given the impression that he deeply cared about Rick. It was something he had never wanted the Alexandrians to see. He didn’t want them to think he’d gone too soft when he’d become an Omega. 

It was clear to them now. It was too late to hide the extra moisture in his eyes. He was shaking and actually found himself choking back a whine of sorrow.

“Negan,” Aaron began slowly, catching his attention. “We’re all trying our hardest. Believe me. I’m sorry it’s taking so long, but you can’t lose it like this. You can’t lose faith. We will find him. We will.”

Negan stared at him as he tried to get the shaking under control.

“The fuck you are,” he growled, before turning on his heels. Growls and whispers followed in his wake.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A nightly scare and building frustration leads Negan to make a final decision concerning his Alpha.

_“I simply cannot decide.”_

_Negan blinked as the words echoed in his head. As he became more aware, he realized he was on his knees on the ground, in the woods under a dark night sky, but he wasn’t alone. To his left was Glenn, followed by Rosita, Daryl, Michonne, Abraham, Maggie, Sasha, Aaron, Carl, and finally Eugene. With the exception of Carl and Abraham, they all looked rather terrified. He frowned, not understanding what was going on. How was he here, back in this moment from so long ago?_

_He looked behind them and gasped as he took in the faces of his old pack members who were surrounding them. Some gave no expression, but others appeared eager, and they had guns or knives as their weapons of choice. He shivered at the sight. His old pack, his people, were all looking at him. It was enough to make him want to flee, yet he couldn’t move._

_“What the fuck-”_

_“I simply cannot decide.”_

_He spun forward in the direction of the familiar voice; his voice, which was coming from himself as he paced before them in his black leather jacket and red scarf. In his hands was his beloved Lucille, and on his face there was a shit-eating grin._

_Negan stared, dumbfounded, as a cold kind of horror traveled down his spine and spread, chilling him to the bone. He watched himself walk closer to him, and when their eyes connected he flinched. The other Negan didn’t react. It was as if he wasn’t truly there. But Negan was sure he was._

_“I’ve got an idea.”_

_“No,” Negan muttered. He wasn’t that Alpha anymore. He wasn’t that person. But this ghostly form of himself fell right into the pattern of what he’d done as if to prove him otherwise._

_“Eeny…meeny…miny…moe”_

_“No. No.” Negan was shaking his head as he watched himself pick out certain people with his bat. He tried urging himself to move but his body refused._

_Like before, no one was passed over from Lucille. Not even himself. At one point during the rhyme, he saw himself looking down the length of the barbed wired bat. The barbs were inches from his nose and not yet coated in blood. His breath caught in his throat, and his ghostly self merely smiled before moving to the next person. Negan turned to the people next to him. They were his pack now, not the Saviors._

_“I’m not him,” he said, but none of them paid him any mind. “Did you hear what I said? I’m not fucking him. And this…this fucking situation’s not my fault!”_

_Rick had hurt him then. He had killed members of his pack, so he needed him to pay. He had to stay in control of every pack in the area. As a true Alpha, that’s just how it was supposed to be. But that had changed. He hadn’t believed that. He had come to wish he hadn’t done this._

_“It’s...”_

_Negan stared at the space where his ghostly self pointed the bat. He gasped as Rick suddenly occupied the space between Sasha and Maggie. Rick looked whiter than a sheet if that was even possible, and he didn’t seem to be breathing as he stared up at the psychopath. A need to protect enveloped Negan. He made to rise and run to his Alpha. He had to stop himself._

_He didn’t want to hurt Rick. He didn’t want him dead._

_“No,” he gasped._

_He watched himself, grinning as he raised the bat._

_“NO!”_

_He lurched to try and cover the distance; to try and save Rick, but it was useless. Lucille came down, and he was forced to watch in horror as it collided with the top of Rick’s head. Blood burst from the wound as he laughed, as Rick fell forward, crying and twitching._

_Negan was speechless. There was nothing he could do. There was nothing anyone could do. And then he raised the bat again and brought it down over his Alpha’s head._

_“NOOOO!”_

Negan jumped up in a cold sweat breathing hard. When he realized there were no woods or Saviors around him, he shut his eyes, relieved. It had all been a nightmare, or rather some bizarre combination of a real memory and a dream. 

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

He dropped his face in his hands and took a minute to try and calm down. He had no idea why he’d had such a nightmare. There was the unspoken scare of Rick being dead, but it hadn’t explained why he had to be reminded of what he had done to the Alexandrians.

“Fuck.”

He decided not to think about it and instead threw his feet over the side of his Alpha’s bed. He looked across at his own bed and wondered if it was better to return to it. Being engulfed in his Alpha’s scent was comforting, but that would end if it only encouraged nightmares.

He stumbled to his feet, not at all interested in starting another anxiety ridden day. A thump in his belly reminded him why he had to get up. 

“Yeah,” he muttered tiredly, “I know.”

 

When he was dressed he headed downstairs, moving as if barely aware of the steps. He didn’t bother to check in on the pups. He just went straight to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. It was harder now, just like every new day was, but in this case it was especially hard as he had Rick being bashed by Lucille playing in his mind. He recalled taking great joy and satisfaction in seeing Rick petrified and trembling. It had fueled him, empowered him. Now, it just left him hollow. There was no joy on his face. There was only a sickened grimace.

“Hey, Negan. Are you alright?”

He didn’t bother to look over at Carl who was standing in the entrance. 

“Don’t I look alright?” came his gruff voice.

Carl moved forward carefully.

“We can talk if you want. I’m sure dad’s-”

“There’s nothing to fucking talk about,” he stated bluntly. “Just sit down. Food’s almost done.”

He didn’t press harder. He simply did as Negan asked and settled at the table. 

 

Negan expected nothing short of the cold shoulder when he took a moment out of his day to take in some air, this time with Lucy by his side. The people he passed were decent enough to greet his daughter, but for the most part they said nothing to him. There was no doubt in his mind that he had become the old Negan from the past when he had torn them a new one with his yells. To a degree they were scared of him again, yet not fully since he was still an Omega. There were flashes of hate in their eyes, and warning growls rising from their throats. None of it made him feel worse or better about the situation. He just felt empty.

“Mommy, why’s that man growling at you?”

He followed her gaze to a couple of Alphas nearby who were clearly directing their disapproval at him. Negan attempted to match their glares as he bit down his submissive side.

“You fellows got a problem?” he asked.

“No,” one said in a voice that clearly expressed that he did.

“Well in case you haven’t noticed I’m with my pup. Rick’s pup.”

They softened just a little as they acknowledged Lucy, then moved along. Lucy looked at Negan, clearly confused, but he shook his head to tell her he didn’t want to address it.

“Just ignore them,” He said as he tightened his grip on her hand. He was compelled to just turn back. At least hidden away in his house he could pretend that nothing had changed. He could avoid seeing the scared faces of the pack who were showing signs of being lost without their Alpha.

Then again, home was an even stronger reminder that Rick was not there. When it came down to it, Alexandria was just not Alexandria without Rick Grimes.

Suddenly Lucy squealed and released his hand as she ran ahead. It became clear quickly what had stolen her attention. Daryl’s dog was lounging on the steps of his house.

“Lucy, don’t go running off like that, especially for some damn dog.”

The pup had already crouched over to pet his head.

“But Dog’s a friend,” she informed him. Dog gave a little whine and started wagging his tail while a smile graced Lucy’s face. To Negan, it lifted his heart a little to see his daughter express happiness which was much needed in her life at the moment.

Negan turned his attention to said dog. He appeared to be a mix of a German Sheppard and something else he couldn’t identify. 

“Mommy come pet too.”

He did as she asked and walked over to pet the dog. Part of him expected him to bite considering he have never interacted with it. As far as he remembered, that’s how dogs worked. 

“Almost reminds me of the dogs I used to bring home,” Negan voiced as the simple action of petting the pet made him smile as well. “But hell, who names a dog, Dog?”

Just as he’d asked it, Daryl had stepped out of the house. The smile dropped a little from Negan’s face and he straitened up. Lucy looked up, still smiling.

“Can I play with Dog?” she asked Daryl sweetly. 

Daryl softened, then tossed a ball he had in his hand at her.

“Sure, he’d like that.”

“Thanks uncle.” She threw the ball which triggered Dog to go running after it. Lucy followed, yelling excitedly.

“Stay in sight Lucy!” Negan called to her before facing Daryl. This time the smile on his face was more of embarrassment. “Appreciate you not taking shit out on her because of me.”

“Lucy’s just a pup. She’s got nothing to do with what happened between us.”

Negan shifted uncomfortably on the spot, feeling edgy. 

“Yeah, look, tensions are goddamn high right now. I said shit, you said shit, we all say shit from time to time that don’t mean shit at all.”

“But you meant it,” Daryl countered. Negan couldn’t deny that. He had meant in the moment, he had just chosen to say it out loud. He made to explain but Daryl continued. “You were right.” 

Negan raised a brow, not expecting the man to agree with him.

“I couldn’t find Rick as fast as I wanted, but I ain’t giving up.” He cast his gaze at Dog as he ran around with the ball in his mouth with Lucy running behind him cheering. “I’m trying to train him to find missing people, but he’s not there yet. He’s trying. We all are.”

Negan looked away as something squeezed in his gut. He wanted to believe more than anything that he could trust the search parties, but he just didn’t know anymore. It didn’t matter how broken Daryl sounded just then.

“Yeah,” he muttered. He glanced at the dog. “What the fuck kind of a name is Dog anyways?”

Daryl smirked as he too watched his pet.

“It suits him, and it’s simple.”

A small laugh escaped Negan’s throat. Negan felt like it had been ages when he last laughed. 

“I gotta admit that makes a hell of a lot of sense. If it was me, I’d give him a more badass name.”

“I bet you would.”

Negan sighed as the lighthearted feeling started to fade as Rick surfaced again to his mind. He couldn’t look at Daryl any longer and instead, chose to stare at the dog.

“Maybe he’ll find him,” Negan tried.

“Yeah…maybe.”

 

Dinner that evening was another quiet affair. Words were said every now and then, but then all fell silent quickly. The gloom just hung too heavy over their heads. The pups poked and prodded at their food with little enthusiasm. Neagn hated it, but he just didn’t have the energy to crack any jokes or words of comfort. It was also made worse when he let his eyes wander to Rick’s empty spot at the table.

“So, I was thinking you should reconsider letting me join a search party.”

“No,” came Negan’s flat yet bold response. 

“They need the help,” Carl pushed. “Did you, hear what happened today? They lost two people to walkers.”

This caught the attention of Jake and Lucy. Jake actually shivered at the mention of walkers, knowing they were supposed to be something bad. 

“All the more reason for you to stay the fuck here.”

Jake looked ready to remind him that he had swore, but shut his mouth and dropped his head. 

“But I can help, and Aaron and Daryl’s there to watch me.”

“This conversation is over.” His eyes bore into the table as he felt the fuse threatening to go off.

“But I-”

Negan’s fist landed sharply on the table, creating an expressively loud thump.

“THIS CONVERSATION’S OVER!”

A tiny sob alerted Negan of Jake’s continued presence. A second later he was bursting into tears, and Negan’s heart twisted with shame. Lucy’s eyes were brimming with tears, but so far she was holding it together, yet she looked startled.

“Oh no, no Jake…” He sighed as he got to his feet to approach him. The pup was rubbing at his eyes and didn’t notice Negan. He tensed as he felt his hand on his shoulder and pulled away. “I didn’t mean to scare you prince.”

“Daddy,” he managed to cry in-between sobs. 

As he cried, Negan stared into the face that so strongly resembled his Alpha. Jake had always favored Rick with his softer nature, and he could easily see him mimicking him as an adult. But Rick wouldn’t be there to see it. He wouldn’t even be there to welcome his fifth pup into the world. 

He was trembling again, and his need to keep face was starting to crack. The Omega side screamed at him to attend to his child, which he did, by pulling Jack into his arms.

“I know sweetheart,” he said softly in a shaky voice. “I, miss him too. I miss him too.”

All he could do was rub his back as he cried into his shoulder. 

 

He knew the minute he laid his head on the pillow that sleep wouldn’t come to him. Despite that, he laid there and stared at the wall. He couldn’t imagine getting out of bed the next day and trying to maintain a normal life. That time seemed over. Forcing down the sadness and anxiety was impossible now as he could feel it increasing day by day. Omegas without their bonded Alphas didn’t do well for long. They just weren’t strong enough to hold it together alone.

“I can’t do this,” he whispered. His Omega side was crying out all the time for his dominate partner. The bond had tied him with Rick, and the loss was like suddenly losing half of himself. 

He sat up and gazed down at his belly. He would be due for a check-up soon with Alexandria’s new doctor Siddiq. He shut his eyes and gripped the edge of the bed as if in pain. Rick wasn’t coming home on his own, that much was clear. And while it was true that people were doing their best to bring him in, he couldn’t muster any trust in them gaining success. As his Omega, Negan couldn’t help feeling that he would be able to pinpoint his Alpha out, as if the bond would literally steer him in the right direction.

After ten full minutes of contemplating the craziest idea, he pushed himself to his feet.

“Fuck it.”

He wandered to the closet to grab some clothes. After getting dressed, he snatched up a piece of paper and a pen, then began scribbling a quick note. When he finished that, he folded it, grabbed a specific set of keys, and headed out of the room. 

The note threatened to slip from his fingers as he wandered up to Carl’s door. The pup was willing to run out there to find his dad. He knew he was capable, but now as his step-parent he couldn’t afford to have him risk his life. That was for a parent to do.

He crouched down and slipped the note under the door.

“Sorry Carl,” he muttered. “You’re a bad-ass and all, but if anyone in this family’s going after Rick, it’s gonna be me.”

He hoped he would understand and look after his siblings until he returned. Satisfied, he went to the twins’ room. He cracked the door open just enough to see their sleeping forms. His heart was twisting as he watched. How he wanted to kiss them goodbye, but he didn’t since he didn’t want to wake them.

“You two take care of Carl,” he said in a low voice. “I’m gonna get your daddy back. I promise.”

He lingered a little longer as if to memorize the scene, then shut the door to finish preparing.

Negan headed into the spare room and used a set of keys to unlock a hidden gun. The keys were then switched out for car keys as he had no intention of taking a horse. He filled a few bottles of water, stuffed some granola bars and fruit into a bag, snatched up a map, and then picked up a spare flashlight. Feeling he was as prepared as he needed to be, he headed for the front door.

There was hesitation, and he froze as he looked back and took in what he was leaving behind. It was a dangerous idea. He was eight months pregnant afterall, yet he refused to see it as a hindrance. Omegas in this pack were encouraged to go beyond what their status dictated, so why should he let a little thing like pregnancy hold him back? Sure Rick would be pissed about it, but he was sure that would fade and make way for gratitude for being found.

He took in the empty space of the house before taking a deep breath, and shutting the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I liked including the dream since it gave me a chance to put Negan in the line-up, and against himself.   
> Well, Negan's journey to find his Alpha on his own, begins. :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan heads for a place that may have some answers to Rick's disappearance

The night was quiet with no one wandering around. Despite that fact, he moved quietly as he knew Alexandria kept a night guard on the gate. Negan squinted to see who was serving the night watch. As he got closer he saw that it was a Beta named Toby. The man had never been too fond of him, so Negan had hope that he’d let him pass.

Ignoring him for the moment, he walked over to the gates. As soon as he unlatched it, Toby was alerted.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” Negan looked up, and the Beta’s displeasure of him showed. “Oh, it’s you. What are you up too?”

“Just thought I’d head to the store right quick. Want anything? Milk, eggs?”

Toby didn’t find the humor in his words.

“What are you up too? Last chance before I get Michonne.”

“Fine.” Annoyed, the Omega faced him full on. “I’m going to figure out what happened to Rick.”

The Beta clearly didn’t expect such an answer. 

“Are you crazy or something? We have search parties for that, and they haven’t found shit.”

“That’s why I’m going.”

“How?” the Beta challenged.

“I’ll start easy. See if that king knew anything more than he’s told, so I’d appreciate it if you-”

“Rick’s dead.”

The certainty with which he’d said such words froze Negan where he stood. It was as if he’d stated a truth he was just trying hard not to believe. 

“He’s not,” Negan insisted coldly. He hated the minor doubt in his tone.

“He is,” Toby argued. “Those walkers got him when they got his horse. Daryl and Scott are just too chicken shit to tell us.”

Negan struggled to bite back the panic that threatened to overwhelm him before speaking.

“Then you won’t mind if I head out there and see for myself, will you?” Toby seemed hesitate, but mostly hateful. “Come on, just let me pass.”

“You can’t go out there, it’s too dangerous.”

“Don’t bullshit me. You and I both know you don’t give a damn about me. So let me pass.”

Realization appeared to hit Toby that letting him through would be a good way to get rid of Alexandria’s old terror. He smirked and gestured out into the woods.

“Go ahead. You get into trouble out there, don’t expect me to come after your ass.”

“I wouldn’t want you too,” Negan replied with a sneer. 

He slid the gate open then headed to one of the cars. When he slipped inside, his body tensed up, and underneath the fear that was breaking through, there was a sense of shame. He was an Omega, a pregnant one at that, and he had no business performing such a task even if his instincts cried out for his Alpha. His place was at home with the pups. He was too weak for such a thing. But the minute he saw Rick, all bloodied and still in a ditch somewhere in his head, it fueled him to turn the ignition.

Face set, he hit the gas and drove through the gate. 

 

Being that the Kingdom was only about a half an hour’s drive from Alexandria, Negan rolled up to the king’s territory in no time. The night sky still hung overhead, however, he preferred to approach the pack during the day. So he carefully parked near a little fenced off house until morning. 

The drive had been smooth so far with no walkers roaming heavily in the area. That much made him feel secure enough to sleep in the car. If walkers did show up, he was still protected with the windows rolled up. The only real threat would be people, but since he was so close to the Kingdom, it was unlikely that any random person would be so close to another pack. 

Negan dropped his head against the headrest and shut his eyes. He didn’t expect to get much sleep, especially being that he was already so uneasy about the whole thing.

“Get a goddamn grip,” he ordered himself. “This shit’s nothing.”

He reminded himself that he was an Alpha once, and even though that wouldn’t really help him now, he felt he could at least lean on some inspiration from it in order to bite back the side of him that just wanted to go home to his pups and forget about doing something so daring. He whimpered as he thought of them. If anything went wrong, he’d never be able to see them again and he wasn’t sure he could take that. He really hoped Ezekiel had something that would put him on a path the search parties hadn’t thought of before. Negan held onto the positive thought as he finally drifted to sleep in his seat.

 

Morning came, and Negan opened his eyes with a groan and a deep yawn. The first thing he did was take notice of his surroundings. No walkers had come during the night to claw and gnash their teeth at the windows. He turned to the housed he’d parked in front of and didn’t see any obvious sign of a stranger coming through for shelter. 

He smiled at his luck and started up the car. As he placed his hand on the wheel, he couldn’t help wondering if Rick would have made it back if he’d taken a car rather than a horse. 

“Goddamn it Rick,” he muttered. “You just had to do things the hard way.”

He pushed it from his thoughts as he proceeded onward. It was easy not to think about such a thing as the drive to the Kingdom now made him think of Gavin. He had always sent that lieutenant to check up on the king, but Negan still remembered the way. His face turned grim as he remembered Ezekiel’s face when he smashed in the head of one of his members. The Alpha hadn’t crumbled as bad as Rick had, but he had managed to break him just like he had every pack leader. He had begged just like Rick for the safety of his people, and Negan had taken pleasure in it, just like he always did. 

He knew the king still had to resent him, but he was safe because he couldn’t be touched, being that he was Rick’s Omega. The only question was if the king would bother to help him. Surely he would as it involved Rick, but there was the chance Ezekiel would offer nothing more to him.

Negan came to a stop as two men on horses came galloping up. They were armored up and had spears at the ready. 

“Who goes there?” shouted a red-headed Beta. He looked like he was expecting a battle. 

Negan just smirked and turned off the engine. It had been a long time since he’d seen Kingdom soldiers and their version of armor and, greetings. 

He briefly held up his hands, then slowly exited the car. The soldiers’ faces expressed surprise and a little bit of fear once they recognized him. 

“I think you boys know who I am,” he said with an air of smugness. The other soldier, a dark-haired Beta, dropped his eyes down to his bulging belly before staring hard at his face. 

“What do you want?” the red head demanded. “If you’ve come to take-”

“Are you fucks serious? Don’t tell me you don’t know the story of what happened to the great true Alpha after all these years.” Their expressions softened which told Negan they had some idea. Negan’s own smile fell a little. “He became the bitch of Rick Grimes. And as the bitch of Rick Grimes, I’m requesting a talk with the king.”

The Betas exchanged expressions of uncertainty, then the red head moved closer on the horse.

“You will walk ahead of us. Try anything, and we won’t…we won’t…” His eyes fluttered down to his belly. It was clear he didn’t want to threaten death since Negan was carrying an innocent.

“You won’t skewer me like a damn shish kabob? I get it.” 

He raised his hands up and moved ahead of them. The Betas quickly got into place behind him with their spears pointed at his back. Negan glanced back at them and chuckled at their lack of knowing how to handle a potentially dangerous pregnant Omega. He was at least glad that his pregnancy also had a way of keeping him protected. 

As the great gate of the Kingdom came into view, Negan felt a stronger reminder of the previous affect he’d had on the members behind it; or rather the few who knew about it. He wondered if Ezekiel ever bothered to tell them about him and the Saviors. 

The gate opened and several soldiers came charging out with spears or rifles. They all seemed to freeze when their eyes saw Negan. 

“Look at that,” Negan said, grinning, “didn’t even have to shout little pigs little pigs let me in! That’s service.”

A couple of heads turned in confusion as well as offense, then a familiar sandy haired Alpha stepped forward, growling.

“What’s the meaning of this?”

“Richard,” Negan greeted. “Is that anyway to treat an old friend?”

“You’re no friend,” he spat with a growl.

Negan gave a bit of a nod.

“I see you haven’t forgotten me,” he said grimly. “But I’m sure you realize I’m not that same person anymore.”

Not once did Richard’s eyes drop down on Negan’s body.

“I haven’t forgotten, and I know what you are now. What do you want?” Richard intensified his growling which had the power to make Negan bow his head in submission.

“He’s requesting an audience with the king,” the red head answered for him.

“Is that so?” Richard asked. He stopped his growling and looked away. “Denied.”

“I’m here to talk about Rick,” Negan piped up. It got Richard’s attention again. “The king must have told you what happened. How he disappeared? Well, I’ve got a few more questions for him.”

“King Ezekiel’s already been interrogated by members of Alexandria. You want to know what was said, ask them.”

“I want to hear from the damn king himself,” Negan declared with a rise of anger in his tone. That, combined with the use of ‘damn’, got the soldiers growling fiercely. 

Richard moved right up to his face with a chilling growl.

“Do not, talk about the king that way,” he warned in a way that sent a shiver down Negan’s spine. He was hitting his Omega side so strongly, he had no choice but to submit.

“Yes,” he apologized. Richard turned away. 

“Go back home.”

“I can’t. Not until I hear from Ezekiel.” Richard started to argue, but Negan cut him off. “Please. He’s…he’s not just Alexandria’s Alpha, he’s my Alpha too.”

“Like I said. Talk to the ones that came here. Daryl and Scott will tell you.”

Negan tensed up, fingers curling into fists.

“That’s not enough damn it!”

“What’s going on out here?”

A new person stepped out of the gates to join the crowd. Negan had a vague recollection of who she was as she had seldom visited Alexandria. The sharp eyes and the gray hair told him as much. When she looked at him, he realized from her reaction that she clearly recalled who he was.

“Negan?”

“Yeah, and you’re…what Kate? Carrie?”

“Carol,” she corrected sternly.

“Right, right. Well Carol, I don’t know if you’re still the king’s mate or not, but your boys have put up a damn barrier here. Trying to keep me from asking your mate a few questions.”

Suspicion was clear on her face.

“What kind of questions?”

“About Rick,” Richard answered for him. “Wants to do his own interrogation apparently.”

Negan softened his facial features as much as possible since Carol at least seemed to be considering his wish. 

“Let him through.”

“But my lady.” It was clear Richard opposed the idea. “This is Negan we’re talking about. The asshole that forced the Kingdom under his feet.”

“And now he’s under Rick’s feet,” Carol countered. “Besides that, he’s pregnant, so how much harm can he possibly do?”

Richard gritted his teeth, but bowed his head in respect. 

“As you wish. I’ll inform the king.”

Richard moved on ahead with most of the soldiers following behind him. Only the soldiers that had greeted Negan stayed by his side. 

“Well, come on,” Carol said in a no nonsense kind of manner before moving onward.

Negan smiled and followed behind her.

“No wonder Rick admires you,” he told her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Negan's made a case to speak to the king. I liked getting Carol into the mix. We never see them interact.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan's meeting with the king

The Kingdom opened up to Negan in a way that it hadn’t before. It had a very rustic feel when it came to the various crops that were set up in patches across the community, and the many pens the held livestock. There were a good number of trees that dotted the grounds and groups of school houses that even had a few old school buses parked next to them. 

Because of the deal, he had only really viewed the place from afar, but now that he was finally within the walls, he was able to see how impressively huge the place was especially when it came to the large population. The Kingdom was teeming with activity as people moved about gardening, sparring in a gazebo, practicing archery of all things, or playing board games. The place was alive and he couldn’t help smiling about it. But of course, as with any new body that appeared among a pack, heads were starting to turn his way. He was sure by now they knew who he was, but at the same time he wasn’t so certain. The pack had been kept in the dark about the Saviors, so they had never had the honor of seeing the great Savior leader until now.

“This why you never came back to Alexandria?” Negan asked Carol.

“I suppose Ezekiel’s claim on me has nothing to do with it,” she pointed out. 

Negan just shrugged.

“Maybe that has something to do with it,” he admitted. “How is old King Cole anyway?” 

“He’s, fine.” He understood why her brow was furrowed by the question. From her point of view it was odd for him to ask about anyone. “He’s concerned about Rick, like I am. And you.”

His face fell at the cold reminder. He really hoped the king would be able to tell him something that would breathe new life into the investigation.

“Yeah,” he muttered.

Carol waved off his following guards as she led him toward one of the schools. He already had a preconceived notion of what to expect from word of mouth, but his eyes still took notice of the quotes on the walls that he passed. 

When they reached the auditorium Carol continued down the aisle, but Negan remained in the doorway as he stared back at King Ezekiel. The stage and the tall wooden throne he sat upon truly set him up as a regal figure, especially with his guards in place beside him. There was a large man at the end he knew as Jerry, then a boy who appeared just a couple of years older than Carl, and following him was Richard who still looked irritated. But the thing that caught Negan’s attention more than any of them, was the beautiful tiger that was pacing around Ezekiel. The only thing that prevented her from being free roaming was the chain that Ezekiel held. He really hoped he held onto the tiger tightly enough.

“Goddamn tiger,” he muttered in awe. As if the tiger had heard, she gave a little roar, causing Negan to tense up.

“Negan of Alexandria!” Ezekiel began in a straightforward tone, “Previous Alpha of the Saviors, and current Omega to Rick Grimes. Step forward so I may hear your woes!”

Negan ran a hand over his belly as if to settle rising nervousness before stepping forward.

“Since Richard’s up there, I’m sure you already know all about my damn woes.”

“I’d like to hear them from you,” he said once Negan made it to the front. 

Up close, Negan couldn’t help but take note of his steely eyes. There was no doubt in his mind that Ezekiel was thinking about all the pain he’d caused him when he’d been a true Alpha. There was no warmth in the lines of his face, just as there was none in the men standing beside him. Negan glanced down at the tiger again as she zoned in on him. She was definitely one of the reasons the hairs on the back of his neck were standing up.

“I’d gladly tell you my woes, so long as I know you got a good hold on your pussy.”

Ezekiel glanced down at his pet who was settling down on the floor by his feet.

“Shiva will do you no harm, as long as you intend not to do any harm to me and my pack.” It was a clear warning; one that had him trembling a little.

“I’m past that now,” he stated.

“Are you?” Richard questioned.

Negan glared, but the Alpha matched it as he began to growl fiercely.

“Richard,” Ezekiel warned with a wave of the hand and a growl. He stopped immediately. “I’m sure Rick Grimes tamed what was once a beast.”

“He sure as fuck did,” Negan said, smiling as if it was a joke. “I’m as gentle as a kitten now.”

“What brings you here? I warn you, it had better be important.”

Negan shifted his eyes at Carol who was standing before the first row of seats watching him with sharp eyes. He got the sense that she was looking straight through him, and he didn’t like it at all.

“It’s about Rick.” He was greeted with the terrible hollowness that the absence of his Alpha caused. The last thing he wanted was to appear weak before the audience of another pack, but his strength was fading. “You already heard he disappeared. He came here to have a chat with you, then he fucking vanished without a trace. Didn’t leave shit behind except a half-eaten horse.”

“Are you accusing the king?” Richard growled.

“Abso-fucking-lutely not.” Then he paused and shot him a grin. “Well, maybe just a little.”

All the men were growling at him now except for Ezekiel. 

“Enough,” he ordered softly. His face was scrunched up as if he had tasted something disgusting. “You dare to accuse me of harming your Alpha? Is that the kind of man you think I am?”

Negan raised his hands in surrender and took a step back. At this point any normal Omega would have dropped their eyes, but he forced himself not to break eye contact.

“I don’t think that’s the kind of man you are. My Alpha likes you, but with investigations these kinds of things come up. I lost my Alpha, my pups don’t have their father right now, and I’m pretty sure you noticed I’m not exactly fat here.” Negan looked down at his yet to be born pup and rubbed it. “I need someone to blame.”

“Well I am not that someone,” Ezekiel stated clearly. 

“Apologize to the king,” said Jerry. Negan looked from him, to Richard, to the kid, and finally back to Ezekiel before lowering his eyes.

“Sorry,” he apologized in a low voice. “I just know this was the last place he was seen, and now he’s gone. I wanna know what he was here for. What happened between you two? If I know that much, I might have something to go on.”

Ezekiel was frowning, staring at Negan as though he had suddenly become a ghost. He leaned forward in his throne as if to see him better.

“Do you mean to tell me you intend to search for you Alpha, all on your own?”

Negan was ready to reply, but paused as he thought carefully about his answer. He had a feeling he would prevent him from doing such a thing.

“I intend to get something our pack can go on, because so far our goddamn search parties have been fucking useless.”

Ezekiel studied him a moment longer before sitting back in his seat. 

“I have already informed your members all that I know, so I suggest you seek your answers from them.”

“You don’t think I haven’t already?” he growled. “Those assholes didn’t give us much, or maybe they just did a lousy job interrogating your ass because we’re no closer to finding Rick than your pack is to making you a crown. Every king needs one, even a fake.”

“Hey! Do not disrespect the king!” Jerry suddenly growled. Negan eyed the Omega with humor dancing in his eyes. 

“Apologize!” the boy demanded.

Richard sighed and turned to Ezekiel as the others growled fiercely. 

“Your majesty this is a waste of time. Negan doesn’t deserve your audience. He’s-”

Ezekiel raised a hand as he continued to watch Negan closely.

“Your Alpha made no announcement that he was going elsewhere after our meeting. I assumed he made it safely back to Alexandria. My guards watched his departure but failed to see any threat in his wake before he moved out of their sight.”

“You’re telling me they really saw nothing.”

“I am,” Ezekiel agreed with a nod.

Negan just stared back at him with a frown. He hadn’t wanted to believe it was that simple. It wasn’t anything to go on. If Rick and Ezekiel hadn’t become good friends over the years, he would have decided that Ezekiel had done something to Rick. There was also Carol to vouch for the king, which meant the man really had nothing more to offer than what he’d told Daryl and Scott.

“Damn it,” he whispered, frustrated. He felt a tingling sensation as his anxiety started to rise. It was as if he’d lost Rick all over again. “At least tell me why the fuck Rick came to see you.”

“That is between us.”

“Please,” Negan begged with a bowed head. “It’s…it’s all I have to hold onto right now, until we find him.”

Silence coated the room as all eyes were on Negan’s figure. 

“Dude, he’s hurting,” Jerry pointed out, which drew both Richard’s and Ezekiel’s attention.

“He’s faking,” Richard decided. “A man like Negan doesn’t give a shit about anyone.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Carol piped up suddenly. Her eyes were glued to the man, watching as he trembled slightly. “He wouldn’t have risked coming up here in his condition if he was faking.”

Negan stared back at the king as he considered the request, but by now he’d had enough. Opinions were set. He was the Kingdom’s enemy and that would always ring true.

“Fine, don’t tell me.” He turned on his heels and headed back up the aisle. “I guess we’re done.”

“He came here for you.” Negan turned back as Ezekiel rose to his feet. Shiva rose along with him. “He came here to discuss changing the date of the fair.”

“Why?”

“Because Rick did not wish for you to miss it since you are with child.”

It prompted Negan to look down at his belly and place a protective hand over it. His stomach twisted when he recalled using the pregnancy excuse for not attending the fair, and Rick had believed it was so tough for him that he had tried to find a solution. He had tried to help him, and in return he had gotten fucked in some unknown way. He was gone, and Negan couldn’t help pointing the finger at himself.

“Goddamn it,” he whispered again. Feeling pissed, not only at himself but at everyone, he glared at the king. “And what did you say? Were you gonna change it, or did Rick come here for nothing?”

Ezekiel’s face softened, giving Negan the impression that he was feeling the pain of the loss greatly at the moment.

“I agreed to change the date, so you could join us.”

Everyone seemed to be holding their breaths, waiting for Negan to make the next move. Negan wasn’t feeling too good about his honesty. He knew that his little family wanted him to come, but to hear that the king was willing to allow him to join in hit him in an odd way.

“Rick really had to twist your fucking arm to get you to say yes didn’t he?”

“No. It wasn’t a hard decision to make,” he answered easily, surprising Negan. “I know some of my members would oppose.” He shot a glance at Richard who bowed his head. “But, I believed it was the right path to take. If Rick was willing to give you a chance by forming a family with you, then I believed you had changed to the point where I could invite you into my kingdom without fear.”

Negan shut his eyes and looked away as Rick surfaced hard to the front of his mind, making his heart ache. 

“Well now you don’t have to worry about changing the date, because he’s gone.”

“You must have hope your pack can find him.”

There it was again. Someone encouraging him to have hope. It was getting a little tiring to hear, but he didn’t say as much.

“Yeah, I’m sure he’ll be coming home soon,” he said politely. 

“Well, if there is nothing more you wish to discuss, I will bid you farewell.” He looked over at Jerry and Richard. “And I shall send two as escorts for you on your way to Alexandria.”

“I’m not a pup. I can find my way home just fine.” 

“I insist you take the guards. The world is-”

“I know what the damn world is like out there, so, with all due respect, your majesty.” He bowed as much as he could and put on his shit-eating grin. “I can take care of my damn self. I didn’t need help coming here, and I sure as fuck don’t need it going back.”

Ezekiel seemed a little conflicted about granting him the chance to return home alone, but in the end he gave a nod.

“Very well. I wish for your safe journey home, and I pray for the safe return of your Alpha.”

“Noted,” Negan grumbled as he made his way up the aisle. Then he stopped when he thought back on their conversation. “Thanks by the way.”

“For what?”

“For wanting to welcome me in.” His thoughts suddenly shifted to Rick again and a particular conversation they had had before he vanished. He turned to face the king, standing tall and staring him straight in the eyes. “I know it probably won’t mean shit after all this time, but, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I did to your pack and for the members I killed.”

Richard started to growl, but Ezekiel signaled for him to stop. He leaned forward to really take in his sincerity.

“You truly believed enslaving my pack was the right way to survive?”

“I did. I was the Alpha of my pack. I thought it was the best way we could all survive. My pack, and everyone that worked under me. I wasn’t the true Alpha Rick is by a long shot. I got lost being a leader, he didn’t. Maybe that’s why I’m not an Alpha anymore.”

Ezekiel considered him a moment longer before continuing. 

“I accept your apology,” he said quietly. “But I do wonder what brought you to feel remorse for what you have done.”

“Everything that happened to me after I got bit. I was alone in Rick’s pack, then I got to know who those people were up close, who Rick was as a person and as an Alpha. And when it came to my pups…I realized I didn’t want them following my lead.”

“I trust you will steer them on the proper path.”

“I sure as fuck hope I do.” 

Negan turned away from everyone’s eyes as he headed back up the aisle. The trip hadn’t felt like a total waste. If anything he felt even more determined about his new mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've never seen Negan interact with the king, so I definitely wanted that here.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan begins his search

Carl shifted at the sound of knocking on his bedroom door. He groaned and rolled over in his bed, not ready to get up just yet, but the knocking was getting louder.

“Carl!” 

He opened his eyes at the sound of his little sister’s voice. Normally she wasn’t his version of a wake-up call.

“Carl!” she called again. “Where’s mommy?”

Carl sat up and rubbed his eyes before tiredly walking over to the door.

“What do you mean where’s mommy?” 

As he was reaching for the knob, his eyes just happened to drop down. It was then that he noticed the folded note that had been slipped under the door. Confused, he unfolded it. All it took was reading the first few sentences for the dread to start rising in the pit of his stomach. 

“Goddamn it Negan,” he whispered.

“Carl?”

He swallowed as he tried to figure out what exactly he was going to say to explain the situation to his siblings, but according to the note, Negan had wanted him to keep quiet.

 

Negan sat in the driver’s seat, glaring at the vastness of the woods and the open road that lied ahead of him. Rick was out there somewhere, and he had no clue where to start looking. He glanced over at the map that was opened on the passenger’s seat. It had been marked to show the places that had already been searched by the search parties, and they included areas that were closer to home and to the Kingdom. Since Rick hadn’t been found nearby, it was left open as to just how far Rick had gone, or how far he had been taken.

“Make this easier on me Rick. Where the hell are you?” he muttered. He rubbed his fingers against his temples as he suddenly craved a strong beer. Part of him was preferring the king’s idea to just return home, but his interest in doing so wasn’t strong enough.

He turned to the map and ran his fingers across it as he tried to pick out a destination. The little pup kicked in his womb, making him freeze as he thought about his other pups back in Alexandria. It was dangerous out here. He could easily not make it back, and they would be without their mother. The pup kicked again.

“If that’s your way of telling me to head back to your siblings, it’s not working. We gotta get your daddy remember?” 

It was all about his Alpha’s life of course, but if he managed to pull this off and bring him back, there was the strong chance that things would change nicely for him. They wouldn’t be able to sneer at him because he had brought their leader back. Just imagining that much brought a small smile to his face, but then it dropped again. Even if that didn’t end up happening, it didn’t matter. Rick had to come home no matter what.

“Alright, let’s get started.”

He hit the gas with the first destination in mind.

 

The first unsearched area he tried was a gas station. He thought it looked easy enough to search. It was in range of the Kingdom, but he supposed it wasn’t considered since the search parties went in the opposite direction. 

He stepped out of the car with the gun at his side, listening intently for sounds of walkers or other people. The windows were broken and the door was missing, which made it a poor living spot for people. Upon entering he saw right away that the place was nearly picked clean. Some of the shelves were turned over, there was broken glass and empty food containers scattered on the floor, and spots of blood on the floor and walls. He readied his gun as though he was a cop as he carefully scanned his surroundings. When he moved along the front counter, a growl suddenly sounded off, making him spin around. He approached the counter slowly and found the source of the growl coming from a chubby legless walker that was slumped on the floor. It growled sadly and reached out his arms upon seeing Negan. He assumed him to have been the clerk of the station.

“Don’t think you’ll be getting much business anymore,” he informed him. Since he couldn’t move, he saw no reason to waste a bullet, but the sight of a still moving walking gave him hope that there was no people living here. He suspected they would have put him out of his misery.

Negan moved up and down the empty aisles. He checked the restrooms and even dipped into the back room which was for employees only. In the end, all he walked out with was a small bag of chips and a stale candy bar. 

He slipped back into the car and marked the place off on the map.

“Wasn’t in door number one,” he told his pup. “Let’s find door number two.”

 

The next spot was a little house nearly hidden by trees. The only thing he found there was a dead man who had been shot in the head to keep from turning and his pet dog lying beside him. Negan found himself staring at the scene a little longer than he intended before he had walked off to search the rest of the house. 

The third spot was an area he didn’t feel great about searching. It was comprised of several little stores. Being they were smaller buildings, he felt it would be easy to get cornered or surprised if walkers were hidden about inside them. But there was the possibility that an injured Rick was hiding in one of them. He would have to find out. He patted his stomach as he readied his gun.

“Let’s go kid. Maybe we’ll get lucky and find some groceries.”

He took it slow when he approached the first store which was very open with its shattered windows and missing door. Similar to the gas station, it had been picked clean of supplies, but there were still some items that were savable. Negan didn’t focus on such things as he concentrated on searching the place carefully. There were a few dead walkers here and there, but for the most part nothing was moving. Negan spent at least an hour searching through it and even dared to call out for Rick. After finding nothing, he moved on to the next building.

After he’d gone through the buildings on one side of the street, he paused by leaning against the car. There was frustration brewing within him, and when it boiled over he smashed a fist down on the hood of his car and yelled. 

He wasn’t sure why he thought this would be somewhat doable. Daryl’s search parties hadn’t been able to find a sign of Rick, and so far neither had he. He glared at the unsearched buildings across from him. It was starting to feel pointless to search through them. The ones that he searched had provided good hiding spots, and they would be ideal if a person needed shelter after being terribly injured. Even Rick would have hid in one of them. But then he had second thoughts about that. 

His Alpha was a stubborn man, and his pack and pups meant more to him than anything. So with a man like that, Negan could see Rick traveling his injured self all the way back to Alexandria.   
“Maybe he’s not here,” he muttered as he rubbed his bulge. “But then where the hell else could he be.”

As if to answer its mother, the pup kicked, making him smile. 

“Alright. Let’s get back to it.”

Negan walked forward to start the next part of his search. He briefly gazed up at the sky. There was still plenty of daylight left, but now it had him thinking about what he would do at night. He couldn’t go home without Rick and try the next day. Michonne and a few others would definitely prevent him from attempting another solo search. He was sure Carl had honored his request of not telling the others about his trip, but there was the chance they might have found out anyway if they came by the house. His only choice would be to hunker down in one of the buildings for the night, and he was not looking forward to that.

 

Negan carefully walked over turned aisles, and slowly opened doors. Every now and then he froze because he thought he had heard something. When he slipped into the restroom, he headed to the sinks. The water was still working, and so with a sigh of relief, he laid his gun down and splashed his face. He could feel his stress level rising and it didn’t help when the stall door behind him suddenly burst open.  
By the time he reached for the gun, the walker was already on him, pushing him back against the sink.

“Goddamn it!”

His arms threatened to buckle as it cried and snapped its jaws, determined to bite into his neck. Negan groaned loudly as he used all of his energy to push it back. Before it could stumble forward again Negan fired, sending a bullet into its brain and making it plop to the floor. 

He was barely aware of how hard he was panting as he turned and gripped the sink for support. Defeating walkers had been nothing when he was an able Alpha, but it was different now that he was a weak Omega; a pregnant one at that. His instincts yelled at him to hide like a coward rather than face them. There was sense in the warning. If anything that sudden attack reminded him just how vulnerable he was this way. He had walked out of Alexandria’s gates with a near Alpha like mentality, and here, he had just been given a dose of the reality outside. 

Negan splashed more water on his face, then wiped the excess off as he looked into the dirty mirror. What he saw was a scared man that wasn’t all that certain he could pull off his new mission.

“Fuck.” He turned away, hating the fear and doubt that was swirling within him now. He glared at the walker he had just killed. It had just been one walker, and already he felt the threat of falling apart. 

He shook his head and marched out of the restroom once he was able to reignite his confidence. But right outside the door, a chorus of guttural growls echoed from the many walkers that were suddenly occupying the building. And of course their clouded eyes found him.

“FUCK!”

He fired as they slogged toward him. He almost preferred Lucille to the gun simply for the sake of using it to draw strength from. All he could feel was fear. A walker lunged for him on his left, making him stumble and crash to the floor on his back.

“Shit…shit.”

The gun had gone flying off behind him. Wide-eyed, he gazed at the four walkers that were left. He might have been imagining it, but they appeared extra hungry and he figured it was because they noticed the pup in his belly.

He worked his body backward while keeping his eyes on them.

“You want your damn dinner!” he shouted at them. They growled loudly, eager to snatch him up. Negan turned and struggled to get to his feet as soon as he grabbed ahold of the gun again. “Come fucking get it.”

He shot down two before turning to the exit. 

Outside, there were more guttural growls as several walkers began roaming down the street. A herd had manifested quicker than he could have thought possible, and he was the only source of food available to them. He glanced down the other side of the street. There were only a few walkers milling around, but that didn’t matter. Things went wrong easily even when there were a few of the bastards near, and he certainly couldn’t risk sticking around any longer.

As fast as he could he made for his car. He could barely think as the growls got louder; as two walkers seemed to near the car in an attempt to close him in.

“Nooooo!” he howled.

He would not end up like Rick’s horse, screaming as flesh was devoured right off his bones. He blew the brains out of one that had turned from the car in favor of getting him. The door was ripped open and Negan quickly dropped inside. After a minor fumble with the keys, he turned the ignition and reversed away from the oncoming herd. 

“I think it’s safe to say that Rick’s not here,” he informed his unborn pup. Though he hadn’t gone through all the buildings, he decided his Alpha couldn’t be here, that way he wouldn’t have to worry about trying to come back and maneuver around a herd.

 

Evening was making itself known as the sky darkened, and rather than finding himself before the gate of Alexandria, he found himself stationed across from an old satellite station. It wasn’t just any satellite station. It had once been a post for a good number of his men. Men that had been slaughtered in their sleep, and by the orders of his own Alpha.

Negan just stared at the abandoned place now as bitterness twisted in his chest like a tornado. 

“Damn it Rick,” he muttered. 

He understood perfectly why Rick had done such a thing, but of course that had not mattered at the time. That post had been a part of his territory, and another pack had intruded upon it. And worse than that, said pack had killed members of his pack; people he was supposed to keep safe. He later found out that all of it had been done to save the Hilltop hostages and to keep the worthless Beta leader Gregory alive.

That hadn’t mattered to Negan at the time either. That Hilltop man was his to do with what he pleased, but Rick had shown up to say that wasn’t so, and had risked his own people to save a stranger. Negan couldn’t wrap his mind around worrying about strangers in the world they had now. Unless a man was part of his pack, it was every other man for himself. He sighed and bowed his head. Rick wasn’t like that. Rick was the kind of Alpha that needed to help the other man even if he didn’t know more than said man’s name. It almost made him wonder if that was the reason he was gone now. 

Did Rick try and help the wrong person? Did helping someone else get him killed?

If so he was stupid for it, yet Negan looked at it with a bit of admiration. He whined as he started to worry for him all over again. When he looked at the station again, he couldn’t help wondering if one of his old pack members was actually responsible for Rick’s absence. An Alpha back in Alexandria had accused the Saviors of having something to do with Rick. What if he was right?

There shouldn’t be anyone in the station now. As far as he knew, there were only corpses because Negan hadn’t bothered to order his men to bury them. He glanced at the map and saw that the place had gone unchecked by the search parties. No one, aside from that one Alpha, had believed that the Saviors had whisked their leader away. So there was no reason to believe he was in there now, unless another pack had moved in. Either way, he didn’t feel good about searching it, let alone going in. That place was like a stain from the past, and he was afraid of what would happen if he entered. 

Not sure whether it was a mistake to just leave or not, he turned the key. The engine made like it was going to start, but then it died. A sudden shock of panic hit him, but not at full force since he focused on trying again.

There was nothing. 

“No…no don’t do this to me,” he begged. “Don’t do this to me!”

He tried again, and again, and again.

“No…no…no…FFUUUCKKK!”

He slammed his fist into the horn and crashed his head against it. Being stranded out here was no different than being trapped in a herd. With that in mind, he imagined the herd he had previously escaped from coming for him, and if he was still stuck here on the side of the road, he might actually become a carcass just like his Alpha’s horse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Negan experiences some struggles, and now a bigger one with a broken down car.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan tries moving forward, while Carl seeks help

Carl could barely look at his siblings as they ate their dinner at the table. He really didn’t feel good about claiming that Negan just went out for a little bit and implying that he’d be back. At the same time he didn’t feel right about honestly telling them he went to look for their dad. The tears would start all over again as they’d instantly believe that it would mean they’d never see their mommy again either. 

It was why Carl felt their peace of mind was more important than the full truth. Besides that, Negan had promised he’d kill him if he said anything about his solo search. He hoped there was no need to really say much, and so far he had kept his promise. Negan was a capable man. He couldn’t believe that he’d endanger himself or end up dead. But then he had to remind himself that he wasn’t exactly the same Negan from long ago. This version of the man was a pregnant Omega. There would only be so much that he could do out there alone, especially since he was among the weaker set. 

When he looked at Lucy and Jake again, he imagined they might have already guessed what happened since they hadn’t asked to know more about their mommy’s disappearance. He glanced down at his plate again, fearing another night of having to prepare the meal.

 

Sleep hadn’t come easy at all to Negan considering he had decided it was safer to bunk in the satellite station despite how much he dreaded it. With the car at a standstill, he’d be an easy sitting duck if a herd of walkers or people came along. At least in the post he could move and hide, but that didn’t make him feel better about it.

He sat up on a cot and rubbed at his brow. 

“Goddamn it,” he muttered.

When his eyes traveled across the room, he saw the decomposed body of an old member from his pack from the past. All he could do was stare at him. He couldn’t even recognize him enough to place the name. Instead he saw Rick entering the room with a knife, and slipping it quickly and quietly into the back of the man’s skull. Such an image made him feel sick enough to want to throw up. The man had been asleep, and had woken dead. Then again he couldn’t be sure if it had been Rick that had done him in specifically. It could have been someone else, but considering Negan had wound up back at this place, he couldn’t help believing that fate was that cruel, and that he was facing an old member that had been murdered by his Alpha.

“We had it coming,” he suddenly said, though not quite certain why. “We pissed Rick off enough for him to do that to you and the rest of my people in here. But goddamn Rick.”

He wondered why he never ordered a burial. And then the answer seemed to come, which had him twisting with shame. He simply hadn’t seen the need since in his eyes, the men had been weak enough to allow themselves to be killed. It wasn’t a fair way to look at it, but as an Alpha, he had fully believed in and respected strength. If his members were weak enough to get killed, then they didn’t deserve a fancy funeral.  
His stomach twisted more with such old thoughts and he had to run his hand over his face to try and calm down. 

“Fuck. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” His men had just been following his orders. They were told to hold one over on the Hilltop pack, and it came back to bite them in their sleep.

He stood and stumbled toward the door, nauseous. Before leaving, he turned back to the body.

“I’m paying for it,” he promised. “I’m paying for my shit.”

The halls seemed to sway as he moved onward. He paused at one of the doors as he caught sight of something on the wall. He knew what it was even before he approached it. Over a dozen pictures clustered together like an art piece, all featuring the grisly handiwork of Lucille. The bashed in heads of unrecognizable victims were strung up as trophies, and he was looking at them as though he’d never seen it before.  
His stomach lurched and he couldn’t hold back. The small lunch that he’d had the previous day came gushing out of his mouth. He swayed and had to reach out to the wall for support. 

He didn’t believe he had become soft enough to find the sight that sickening. It had all been the fault of the hormonal changes thanks to the pregnancy. But not only did he feel ill looking at them, he also felt fear. It was like they were ghost that were suddenly deciding to haunt him.

“You too,” he said once he managed to get the bile out of his mouth. “Shit. I know I’m paying for it.”

Then he paused as he wondered if he really was. He was no longer a true Alpha, and he had become Rick’s against his will, yet now he had cared greatly for the life he once thought of as a universal punishment. He had pups he loved and a pack where he was able to actually befriend members. When it came to the Saviors, all he really had was Simon which was great, but with Rick’s pack he had a few more people. He stared hard into the images as he wondered if he was truly paying for his past.

Frustrated and strongly conflicted, he yelled as he began tearing the pictures off the wall. There was no point for them to be there anymore. The man that had caused those gruesome deaths in the photos was no longer present, and this station was no longer a post for his pack. 

The pictures littered the floor, but Negan didn’t bother to pick them up and dispose of them. He just turned and left the room. 

To his relief, no walkers had neared the area. It was just him and a useless care. Negan figured the best and safest thing for him to do now, would be to try and make it to the Hilltop. It was the only community that was closest to the post, even though it wasn’t in walking distance. He walked over to the car and leaned against it. He looked down the road as he tried to gage how long it would take him to make it. There was no denying the long distance.

“Shit.” His stomach twisted with nerves at the thought of walking unprotected. He looked down at his belly and dropped his hands upon it. He had to keep pushing for its survival. Waiting for help that might never come would be a potential death sentence. “Ok. We’re going.”

Hilltop was the decided destination. He gritted his teeth and tried not to think of Maggie’s reaction when he wandered up to the gates. He assumed she would help him due to his attachment to Rick; that and the pup he carried would surely keep him from dying at her hand. He hoped even more that she would find it in her heart to provide him with another car so he could continue his search, but being that she was a mother herself, he felt it was unlikely. She would most likely contact his pack so they could fetch him, which would put an end to his mission. In fact the more he thought about it, the more he believed it would truly be over if he went there.

“Goddamn it,” he muttered. He had no idea if he was any closer to finding Rick or not, and he would definitely never know once Maggie stopped him. 

“I’m sorry kid.” He rubbed at his belly, then slipped his gun in his back pocket. “I tried to find daddy for us, but I fucking failed.”

He gathered a small amount of supplies together in his bag before turning back to the road ahead with a sigh. Already his feet seemed to ache with the idea of traveling on foot.

“Ok, here we fucking go.”

 

Carl clutched the note in his hand hard as he took notice of Michonne talking to Daryl and Eugene. He assumed they were discussing another possible spot to search with Eugene providing a little extra help. He headed toward them, deciding to break the news at last since it had been a whole day without Negan. It hadn’t drawn attention as people had assumed Negan was in need of alone time, but another day would have.

“Some people are asking, when you’ll call off the search,” Carl heard Eugene ask as he neared them.

“When we find Rick,” Daryl stated firmly. He looked around and took notice of Carl.

“What’s up?” Michonne asked. 

Carl supposed the conflict he was having was showing easily on his face. Negan had told him not to say a word to anyone about his departure. It was important to keep promises, but this was so risky. If something happened to Negan and he hadn’t told anyone…

“Something wrong?” Daryl asked when Carl said nothing.

“It’s Negan. He’s gone.”

“What do you mean gone?” asked Michonne.

“He left to find dad.”

“What?” Daryl cried.

“When?” The concern on her face was clear. 

“The night before last,” he answered weakly. He offered up the note as if that would make his delay of informing them any better. 

Michonne took it and started reading while Daryl appeared to be doing his best to hold back his anger.

“Why the hell didn’t you say anything before? The last thing we need is that son of a bitch getting in trouble when Rick’s gone.”

“He didn’t want me to tell, because he knew someone would go after him,” Carl explained. 

“But he doesn’t know where to look,” said Michonne.

“Did he procure a map? It’s possible he’s using the process of elimination.” When all eyes were on Eugene, he elaborated. “Searching areas the search teams haven’t yet covered.”

“How’s he supposed to find him when we can’t?” Daryl growled. 

He stalked away from them, giving them no indication that he was about to do something about Negan. Michonne turned to glare at the fence where a new guard was posted to keep watch. She made her way toward him. Wanting to know what she had in mind, Carl followed, along with Eugene.

“Hey! Where’s Toby?” she shouted at him.

The guard scanned the area before pointing over at a group of picnic tables. Toby was seated on one, eating an apple. She wasn’t sure if it was right to feel any kind of rage toward the man. For all she knew, Negan had managed to slip out without Toby even noticing.

Toby looked up as Michonne made a beeline for him. 

“The night before last, you were on watch,” she stated once she closed the distance between them.

Toby appeared a little concerned by her arrival, and slowly swallowed the bit of apple in his mouth.

“Yeah,” he said slowly.

“Negan left that night. He ran off to find Rick. Did you see him?” Before he could reply, Michonne started up a warning growl. “Don’t lie to me. I’ll know if you are.”

“Fine,” he said after a sigh. “I saw, and I let him go.”

Michonne’s growl intensified. Suddenly she was grabbing the front of his shirt and yanking him close.

“Why the hell would you do that? He’s pregnant! You let our Alpha’s pregnant Omega run off on his own?”

The Beta attempted to match her glare, but was having trouble doing so.

“Because…Because I don’t give a shit about Negan. If he wants to run off, why the hell should I care?”

She threw him down to the ground, disgusted.

“You are going to tell me where he went, and after that, you’re going to join us in searching for him.”

 

Negan didn’t keep track of time, and he barely had any interesting thoughts to entertain himself with. He kept his eyes sharp as well as his ears, but so far he heard no form of a threat. All he saw was a plain dirt road and lots of trees. Every once in a while he felt a bit edgy about being out in the open like this, without anyone. He had never been a nature enthusiast, especially now, and back when he was an Alpha, he only traveled outdoors when he was in the company of a few members with Lucille by his side.

“What do you think your daddy would say if he saw me now?” he asked his unborn pup as he rubbed a hand over it. “He’d probably clamp down on my neck and never let go again.”

The thought made him laugh just a little, but then the laughter died at the idea of not being forgiven. A shiver ran down his spine at the thought of displeasing his Alpha greatly, and he almost wanted to drop to his knees right then. 

“I’m gonna have to do some intense groveling when he gets back.” He felt a kick in response. “I will get him back. Don’t you worry.”

He hated the squeeze tackling his heart. Doubt was starting to sink in again, and it would only become stronger the closer he got to the Hilltop. Maggie wouldn’t let him continue on with the search. And if his search came to an end, then it was possible that Rick wouldn’t come home.

“Damn it.” He cursed such a thought. Now wasn’t the time to think that way.

The sound of growls hit his ears, making him freeze in place. Up ahead, a couple of walkers sauntered out of the thicket of trees. There was a moment of panic before Negan actually found some interest in the sight.

“Hello beauties. Come to escort me to Maggie’s?” In response, they simply growled. Their dead eyes were set on him as they headed his way. “No? Well then, I guess I’ll just have to put you out of your miseries.”

He reached for his gun and aimed. It was almost like the old days. Aside from bashing in people’s skulls, he had enjoyed taking out a walker every now and then. Just as he took aim, several more walkers joined the few. His eyes widened and he took a step back. A herd was forming right before his eyes and he definitely didn’t have enough bullets for all of them. 

“Fuck.”

He turned to his right and ducked into the woods. He would just have to go around them or at least hide out for a while. 

“Fuck…fuck…don’t fucking do this to me again,” he growled. 

With one hand clutching his belly, he desperately searched for a hide out. The closest thing he was able to find was a large, muddy ditch. He really didn’t want to jump down there, particularly when it seemed easy to become stuck.

The sound of the walkers were getting closer, so it was either lie low in the hole or attempt to run when his bulging belly prevented that much.

“Fuck it.”

Carefully he lowered himself down on his rear and just slid down the rest of the way. He scrambled to use some of the mud for cover to better camouflage himself. Then he pressed himself against the wall of earth and waited. 

The crunching sound of moving feet hit him before the guttural noises. He held his breath as the volume increased. They sounded too close. In a matter of seconds, they were moving right above him. Negan shut his eyes, praying they couldn’t detect him. It didn’t feel possible that they wouldn’t. They would see him clearly. The whole idea had been pointless because he was about to die in the worst way. He braced for it, but it was hard to hold back his rising anxiety. It was coming, and he’d have to accept it.

_“Where is he?”_

Negan’s eyes snapped open at the sudden sound of the guttural whisper. It was only walkers in the herd above him and nothing else, yet he had heard a voice seemingly coming from within the mob of the walking dead.

 _“Find him…”_ came another voice, just as whispery and guttural, _“Find the Omega.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Negan got a scare at the end there. A possible new threat ;)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan runs into something he didn't expect when seeking safety

He had not heard that. It was his mind playing tricks on him. Naturally it was stressful when it came to dealing with walkers, and naturally the pregnancy added to the stress, so together it fucked with his head a little. He had cracked just enough to hear the walkers talking. 

“Fuck,” he muttered once he was in the clear. The herd had moved on, but Negan stayed put in the ditch, straining to hear the smallest gurgle or rasp. He even strained to hear the voices, but cursed himself for doing so. 

He rested a hand on his belly and exhaled.

“Time to go,” he told his unborn pup before turning to the edge of the ditch.

He climbed out as carefully as possible and once he was back on the surface, he took a moment to just breathe while positioned on his hands and knees. It felt like it had been too close. Walkers were slow moving and always gave one the feeling that it was easy to overpower them, but the tables could turn in an instant. He was aware that he could have tripped or run into another walker that would suddenly pop up before him. What made it worse, or rather more horrifying, was the fact that he was alone. There hadn’t been a choice in the matter. No one would have allowed him to run off of course, but as he got to his feet he started to wonder if Carl would have been okay with it. He could almost see Carl agreeing to accompany him so he too could help in finding Rick. Negan smiled at the thought, liking that version of events. Then the parental Omega side of him warned that it would have been reckless to allow the pup to tag along. If he had gotten killed…

Negan refused to finish the thought. He had enough to worry about. 

“Let’s get back on track, and maybe this time I won’t hear shit.” He really hoped he wasn’t going crazy.

 

After about ten minutes of walking, Negan had to come to a stop to take a breather. The Hilltop was still far off since he had to double back and jump in a muddy hole. 

“What I wouldn’t give…for a drink, right now,” he said tiredly. His feet were already cursing him out, and he heard the aches in his muscles loud and clear.

Suddenly a guttural rasping sound on his right caught his attention.

“You have got to be shitting me.”

Two walkers were staggering toward him past the trees. Gritting his teeth, he looked around the area. Being in the open was killing him right now. 

His eyes quickly landed on some rundown looking house. It didn’t look particularly secure, but it was the best form of cover for the moment. He looked back at the pair of tattered looking dead men that staggered his way. He took particular interest in their lips and listened hard for noises that sounded like actual words. He stayed his ground even as they got closer, urging them to say something, anything. They kept getting closer and all they did was growl. 

“Shit.”

He turned and made for the rundown house as quickly as he could. Up ahead, he saw more walkers coming out of the woodwork. Negan paled at the idea that the herd had managed to catch up to him already. He hurried onto the porch and made to open the door, but it was stuck.

“Come on damn it!”

He rammed against it with his shoulder as the walkers closed in. He took a brief moment to shoot one that had gotten uncomfortably close before ramming into the door again.

“Come the fuck on!”

It gave and he barreled inside. A walker lunged, but Negan was able to smash his face repeatedly with the door before it became nothing but a sloppy bloody mess against the door frame. He pressed hard into the door and locked it just as the rest of the group arrived in time to claw at the wood.

Negan dropped his forehead against it as his heart pounded and his breathing became rapid. That had really been too close. He ran a hand over his face and shut his eyes.

“Goddamn it,” he panted. Doubt was starting to set in about whether or not he would be able to make it back home, let alone make it to the Hilltop. 

“Hey, who are you!”

He jerked around at the sudden voice. There was a sense of relief seeing it hadn’t come from a walker. Instead it had come from a thin, shaggy haired brunette Beta who was gawking at him as though he’d never seen another human being before. 

Before Negan could reply, the young Beta called out to someone out of his sight.

“Ralph! Get in here. We got company!”

An Alpha in a blue plaid shirt came hurrying in with his gun raised. With his long dirty blonde hair, which was pulled into a ponytail, and mustache, Negan felt he could be a relative of Dwight’s. He didn’t appear to have the large and imposing figure of most Alphas. Instead he had a build similar to Rick’s. Unlike the Beta, Ralph’s eyes fell to Negan’s noticeable bulge which turned out to be enough to convince him to lower his gun.

“Shit Jimmy. I thought a real threat came in,” said Ralph.

“What’s going on?” A sandy haired, generic looking Beta stepped into the room. Unlike the Alpha, he had noticeable muscles on his figure. “Oh shit. It’s an Omega.”

“And one that’s about to burst,” said Ralph. A glare was immediately present on his face as he took a step forward. Due to the strong Alpha pheromones as well as Ralph’s sudden growls, Negan was shrinking submissively just a little against the door. “You lead more damn cold hearts to us, huh! SPEAK!”

“No, fuck no. I came here to fucking get away from them. I didn’t know I was intruding,” he explained.

“What’s a pregnant Omega doing out here? And where the hell’s your Alpha?”

The last thing Negan wanted to do was be truthful about it. He couldn’t afford to look weaker than he already did.

“Got separated.” He straightened up against the door. “Please, I just needed somewhere to hide.”

Ralph’s face softened, then he looked at his companions.

“We sure as shit wouldn’t toss a pregnant Omega out there to get eaten,” said the sandy haired Beta.

“Glad to hear it,” said Negan gratefully. “I promise not to eat you out of house and home.”

“This ain’t our home,” said Ralph. “We did the same as you. Saw this place and made a beeline for it when the cold hearts started crowding together.”

He crossed the room and slummed down into a dusty old chair. His companions did the same.

“Take a load off,” Ralph insisted. “We may be here a while.” He gestured to a couch near the window that no one occupied. 

Negan glanced uneasily at the window which was boarded up nicely and so far didn’t allow the walkers scratching against it to break in. He settled for the seat since his feet were screaming now. Then he looked across at his three housemates who were all looking back at him curiously.

“So, you got separated from your Alpha you say?” asked Ralph.

“Yeah,” he lied. “We were looking for food. He risked going deeper in the woods and I stayed behind to rest.” 

Negan didn’t feel comfortable with a thorough interrogation, but prepared himself for it nonetheless.

“Staying behind can get you killed nowadays, but you lucked out. Well, I think you heard my name’s Ralph. You met Jimmy.” He gestured at the first Beta he met who smiled and nodded. “This other one’s Chris. How about you?”

“Negan,” he said as he gazed at Chris who seemed to be giving him a hard look now.

“Negan huh?” he questioned as if he didn’t quite believe it was his name. “Kind of messed up for your Alpha to bring you out to work. A pregnant Omega belongs at home.”

“My Alpha can be a hard-ass,” Negan said with a smirk. He didn’t believe that was far from the truth. “But it’s not so bad. It was just the two of us looking for a place of our own, so I had nowhere to stay behind at.”

“No pack?” Ralph asked, surprised.

Negan shook his head.

“No, but we’re starting a pack of our own.” He smiled softly as he rubbed his hand over his belly. 

“Well I wish you luck on that,” said Ralph. “Nothing harder to do now than trying to rear up a pup.”

“Well I guess I’ll find out.”

“You won’t find out unless you get out of here, and us too,” Jimmy pointed out. A minute later he was on his feet pacing. “This place isn’t gonna last man. They’ll get in, or we’ll get stuck here, probably til my next birthday.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Ralph growled. “We just wait it out.”

“It’s a damn herd out there!” Chris argued. 

“I’m well aware.”

“Then you’re aware that we’re cornered.” Chris suddenly turned a glare at Negan. “And this asshole brings more of em to the bunch.”

Negan’s grip on the armrest of the couch hardened at the accusation. He would have liked nothing more than to wave Lucille over his head and show him how much of an asshole he was, or rather used to be. He glanced behind himself at the window as he heard a particularly loud growl. He didn’t know how many were out there now or how long the house would hold against them. What he was sure of was that waiting around wouldn’t do them much good. 

He took in the men across from him. So far he wasn’t sure what to make of them. He felt confident that they had bought his story and that they were the sort to respect the fact that he was claimed otherwise they would have snatched him up eagerly. Still, he didn’t want to stay among them any longer than he had to. 

“Asshole, they were already in the area,” Negan shot back. “Don’t tell me you’re the smart one in your pack.”

“Among the Betas, he’s the hothead,” Ralph said after chuckling at Negan’s comment. “He’s lucky I’m over our little run.”

“Well our run went to shit,” Chris growled before turning his back on both men.

“Was it just the three of you, on your run?” Negan pressed. 

Chris cursed under his breath while Jimmy slouched against a wall with his head hanging.

“There was Patrick,” Jimmy muttered. “Cold ones swarmed him.”

Ralph rubbed at his brow before shaking his head then dropping it. Negan leaned forward and dropped his head out of respect.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” Ralph whispered. “I tried to save him. It was just too damn many.”

“We should’ve taken more guns,” Chris said with clear aggression in his tone.

“That’s not our system,” Ralph said with a warning growl rising from his throat. “Our system’s kept us going nicely. It works for everybody.”

“Didn’t work for Patrick,” Jimmy announced. When he caught the Alpha’s eyes, he looked away as if shamed. 

Ralph was on his feet running his hand through his hair. A flicker of tension made its way down Negan’s spine at the simple action.

“It doesn’t always go right out here damn it. But to be honest…” He trailed off as he walked up to the door. The clawing and guttural groans and cries never ceased from the other side of it. “I’m not so sure it’ll work for us.”

It was getting serious now. Negan could feel that much easily. They had to get out and soon. He bowed his head as he thought about the best way out. Unfortunately the only solution that came to him was one that would require the strangers’ help; that and a lot of guts.

“I got something that might work,” Negan said quietly. All three looked at him, but he only met Ralph’s eyes. “But you sure as fuck won’t like it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Negan has a potential plan, but he has a few things to worry about; like if it'll work and if he can trust these guys


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan's escape plan in motion.

Negan wasn’t exactly sure how to go about explaining his plan, particularly since it was the kind of plan that would turn any normal person’s stomach. But all three men were staring and waiting for his great idea. If he had it his way, he would find a way to put the idea into play without their help, but his pregnant state along with his weaker state as an Omega didn’t allow it. He needed extra hands.

“Well?” Chris pressed. “What’s your great idea? How’re we supposed to get out?”

He was emitting a soft growl that was joined by Jimmy. It was a clear sign that they were warning against a silly idea from an Omega. However, Ralph didn’t join in on warning him. Negan looked at the window where the dead still gathered. Nervously he balled his fingers before sighing and answering.

“We act like we’re one of them, that’s how.” Their expressions of skepticism shifted to natural confusion. “We’re gonna snag one of those fuckers and cut them open. Now here’s the part you won’t like. We’re covering ourselves in all that inside shit. They’ll think we’re one of them, especially if we go out there slow and calm. We do this right, we can walk away, un-bit.”

Naturally they looked at him as though he had lost his mind. 

“The fuck?” Chris cried. “You hear that nonsense Ralph?”

“We’re gonna die in here,” Jimmy muttered as he shook his head and started to pace again. 

Ralph, however, maintained eye contact with Negan. He didn’t appear to have fully rejected his plan.

“Trust me, it’ll work,” Negan begged.

“How can you be sure? Where the hell you get such a crazy idea?” Ralph questioned.

“My Alpha did it when he and an old member had to make it past walkers. It worked for them. They didn’t smell like the living.”

“You’re not actually considering this?” Jimmy asked. Ralph raised a hand to settle him.

“I know it’s goddamn gross, but the trick keeps people alive. It’ll keep us alive,” Negan promised. 

He forced himself to keep from fidgeting before the Alpha since he needed him to have faith. The guttural growls only seemed to get louder, which told Negan more were possibly piling up outside.

“Ralph, come on,” Chris pleaded. “It’s ridiculous. I mean what do you expect from an Omega? They’re not made for planning. They’re for fucking only.”

“Do you have a better idea?” Ralph challenged as he faced him. He emitted low growls that had both men dropping their eyes respectfully. Also effected, Negan dropped his eyes as well.

“I don’t,” Chris admitted.

“The place is surrounded, and we’re not getting out fighting. We’ll end up like Patrick if we do, so we’re gonna try something else. Something new.”

As he moved toward him, Negan took a step back. The intensity of the Alpha’s power caused a shiver to run down his spine. Ralph bared his teeth and glared at him with a hard, cold look. Negan knew to take him quite seriously.

“I hope I can trust you with this. I can’t lose anymore members.”

Negan straightened himself up and met his eyes dead on.

“You won’t. As long as you guys stick to the plan.”

Ralph took another minute to think it over before nodding.

“Alright. Let’s go for it.” 

Both Chris and Jimmy looked beside themselves.

“This is bullshit,” Chris muttered.

“Well since you think it’s such bullshit, you can be the one to snag us a cold one.”

The Alpha’s tone left no room for argument even though Chris appeared ready to trade words. He wisely shut his mouth and sought out a weapon on the floor that turned out to be a crowbar. He stood before Ralph once more, but tossed a scowl a Negan.

“I might need your gun too.”

Ralph ended up handing his gun to Jimmy who paled.

“Help him,” he ordered.

Jimmy curled his fingers around the gun slowly before giving the Alpha a wide-eyed look.

“How exactly are we supposed to do this?”

“Let one in carefully,” Negan suggested.

“The ones at the backdoor,” Ralph said as he nodded to indicate the door behind them. “There’s a crowd out there too, but not as much as what I’m seeing in the front. Should be easier.”

“None of this is easier,” Chris griped, but he made his way toward the backdoor nonetheless. Jimmy followed him with the gun held high. “That Omega should be helping us.”

“He’s pregnant idiot,” Ralph growled. “The least he was able to do was come up with an idea.”

“Yeah, one that might fuck us all.”

As annoyed as he was at the shot, Negan did feel he needed to do a little more to participate. People didn’t appreciate dead weight, but he did have a good excuse for keeping back. Still, the last thing he wanted was to end up screwed over by both Chris and Jimmy. He wouldn’t stand a chance in a large herd if he only had Ralph to rely on for protection.

He glanced around and noticed a short hallway around the corner to his right.

“Where you going?” Ralph questioned when Negan made for it.

“Going to see if the rooms have sheets we can use. Could help keep our clothes less shitty.”

It wasn’t much, but it was something. 

The first room he turned into was a small bedroom. There was one available sheet on the rickety looking bed. Negan snatched it up and checked it for holes and tears. It was thin and light, but it would do, so he folded it up and searched a dresser for three more.

After a while, he heard Ralph call out to him.

“You need a hand?”

By this point, Negan was in the bathroom filtering through the cabinets. He smiled when he found a nice pile of folded sheets up for the taking.

“I got it covered!” Negan shouted back as he piled three of them into his arms. “I just need scissors or a knife!” After checking the new sheets carefully, he headed back into the living room.

He came to a stop when he saw Chris and Jimmy struggling to drag in a fairly large walker. Ralph was yelling “Hurry up!” as he pushed against the door to keep the crowd outdoors where they belonged. Jimmy jumped up and added his weight which gave Ralph the chance to lock it.

“This better…bet worth it man,” Jimmy gasped as both he and Ralph leaned against the wood after becoming momentarily winded.

“I almost got bit,” Chris accused Negan as he gave him a particularly nasty glare.

“You want to get eaten?” Negan challenged as he returned the look back to him. “Cause that’s what’s gonna happen if we don’t do this.”

They all gathered around the motionless walker on the floor. Some of the skin on his face had deteriorated enough for them to see the bones and facial muscles easily. It made Negan a little queasy just looking at it.

“Alright,” Jimmy started, “we just, cut him open right? Go on Chris.”

“Why me?”

“Because you’ve got the knife and, I might get sick.” Jimmy stumbled back with a hand to his mouth. Negan could see a shade of green turning his fair complexion. 

“For fuck’s sakes,” Chris grumbled. 

He got down on his knees, then in one quick motion stabbed the knife into the walker’s chest and ran it downward. He dipped his fingers inside and proceeded with the nasty step of opening it up. The queasy feeling in Negan’s gut intensified and he had to turn away as the smell hit him. Back in the day, he wouldn’t have blinked an eye at such a sight, but it was different being that his pregnancy rendered him more delicate.

“Here.” Ralph handed him a pair of scissors while his expression showed worry. “You sure you can do this?”

“I’ll be fine,” Negan assured him sharply. He took the scissors and began to turn the sheets into makeshift ponchos. 

“Goddamn! These fuckers smell just as bad on the inside.”

“Well what the hell do you expect?” said Ralph. “Just hurry up.”

“It’s done,” Chris growled. “Unless there’s a step I’m missing.”

“Nope. We’re on the shitty part of it,” Negan told them. He started handing out the sheets he’d already cut. “Put them on, and cover it with as much blood and guts as possible.”

There was hesitation from all three men, particularly Ralph who appeared to be having second thoughts about his idea.

“You sure they won’t know it’s us?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely,” Negan confirmed after he pulled on his own sheet. He started to crouch down next to the body, but Ralph dropped a hand on his arm to stop him. 

“Don’t, I’ll help you. I can imagine it’s troubling for you to get back up in your condition.” He indicated his obvious belly bulge. 

“Appreciate it.”

Chris seemed pretty peeved that Negan wasn’t going to get his own hands dirty, but chose to keep his mouth shut about it. With slightly trembling hands, Ralph turned to the opened body. Slowly he crouched down and his hands hovered over the messy interior.

“Shit…okay, here goes.”

He gasped in disgust as he finally reached inside. Jimmy made a noise like he was going to vomit while Chris was just offended. Negan stepped forward, emotionless, to show that he wasn’t bothered by this. They couldn’t let this part of the trick get to them before they even went out the door. And without making a fuss, he allowed Ralph to rub a gob of guts and blood on the sheet he wore. 

“Jesus!” Jimmy cried. He fell into a fit of coughs.

“Well, don’t be such damn pups! Get to it already!” Ralph ordered.

Jimmy and Chris looked at each other before following their Alpha’s example. They decided it was easier to paint the other rather than themselves since Ralph was doing so with Negan. 

“Damn-est idea I ever heard of,” Ralph muttered.

“Sure as fuck is,” Negan agreed.

After five minutes of being coated, Negan deemed himself covered enough.

“Alright, you’re turn.”

Ralph gathered blood and started covering himself as he scrunched up his nose from the foul odor. Jimmy and Chris lent a hand once they were done, leaving Negan to stay back and watch. He prayed that nothing went wrong. He couldn’t see them allowing him to walk if something happened to any of the men, especially the Alpha.

Soon all three were looking at him expectantly. All looked miserable and disgusting, but they appeared ready to continue.

“I don’t know about this anymore,” Chris confessed. “What if this damn Omega’s just trying to get us killed somehow?”

“Hush up!” Ralph ordered. “You’re gonna do as he says. Something goes wrong, I’m putting it on you two, got it?”

Jimmy nodded while Chris did so reluctantly. 

“Remember, just move slow,” Negan informed them. “Don’t say shit and don’t react to shit. From this point on, consider yourselves one of the dead. Let’s go.”

They shuffled slowly to the back door. Jimmy eased up to the door and with a trembling hand, reached for the knob. Under the cover of the sheet, Negan rubbed his belly as he felt a small kick. Mentally he thought up soothing words as he didn’t want to say them out loud in front of the men. 

Jimmy let the door ease open, then fell quite still. Negan ceased rubbing his unborn pup and imitated a husk without a soul. He watched as the walkers entered and rolled their eyes to the four un-moving figures before them. He also noticed Jimmy swallowing sharply a few times and shaking ever so slightly. In his mind he pleaded with him to stay quiet. If he freaked out, he was doomed. 

Stealing his attention was Ralph who slightly swayed and looked straight ahead. Chris was just as firm as ever even when a walker bumped into him on his way in. It was nerve-wracking when four walkers turned into eight as they started wandering into the house. Their raspy growling was so loud, Negan couldn’t even get a handle on his own thoughts. Jimmy’s breath hitched and worsened as a skeletal looking woman pressed her face close to him. When she caught a whiff of his bloody getup, she decided he couldn’t be living food.

Once the crowd outside thinned, Ralph shuffled toward the door with a crooked pace. Jimmy followed afterwards. Negan made to shuffle up after him, but Chris quickly maneuvered in his way. He risked turning back to give him a warning glare before shuffling onward. Negan clenched his teeth and focused on not catching anyone’s attention as he picked up the rear. 

The need to just panic and run was tearing at him the whole time, but he ground down hard and kept going. The walkers were moving about them, not catching anything strange. Both Jimmy and Chris were well composed, walking slowly and staying calm just like Ralph and himself. A small sense of excitement of knowing it was working helped to fight off the nagging fear. It was working, and they were going to make it out alive! He was going to be okay and so was his pup.

The herd was definitely thinner at the back of the house which made it much easier to move. The walkers were spreading out or entering the house to try and find the ones that had drawn them there in the first place. The further Ralph moved them away, the less attention the dead paid them. They were simply four bodies wandering off to do their own thing and the others could care less.

Once the sound of growls were nonexistent, Negan looked back to see that they were far enough out of reach.

“I think we’re clear,” Negan announced. Ralph had led them to an area of thinning trees.

“Sshh!” Chris shushed. His eyes bounced around for any sign of movement. Ralph too gazed around before lifting his sheet off himself.

“Yeah, we’re good.”

Relieved, Jimmy quickly shed his own sheet, along with Chris.

“This didn’t do much good,” Chris griped. They all saw what he meant as his shirt was nicely damp with blood that had seeped through the sheets. 

“One of them might have snagged on you and torn it,” Ralph guessed.

Negan began pulling his own sheet off, then wrinkled his nose in disgust when he saw that his shirt was also dampened with blood, more so than Chris’s. To his dismay, he noticed a tear in the sheet that had allowed some of the gunk to slip through. He shivered as he felt it sliding on his skin.

“Goddamn it,” he muttered. “Guess I’d better find a river and jump in.”

“Don’t do it before I thank you,” said Ralph. He went as far as extending a hand which Negan took. “We would’ve been screwed without you. That was the cleverest idea I ever heard of. Damn.”

Chris started laughing and shook his head.

“Don’t forget it was his Alpha that came up with it.”

“But still, it worked,” said Jimmy. “Who the hell cares who came up with it? We freakin’ made it man!”

Jimmy had become an eager pup that was bouncing up and down on the spot in celebration. The unsatisfied Chris was eventually moved enough to clap him around the back as he joined in the excitement. Ralph just laughed as he watched the two while Negan smiled proudly. They had done it, all of them together. Ralph and his buddies didn’t have to worry about losing another man. They were all going to go home because of him. He wished Rick had somehow been present to see him help a band of strangers survive. Rick, along with Carl, had been all about helping others when possible. As an Alpha, Negan had always believed his way was helping others, but this felt different. It felt better.

“Well I’m glad I could help you fellas see another day. Just keep that method in mind if you ever get into trouble.” He turned on his heels to walk away.

“Wait, where are you going?” Jimmy asked. 

“I’m off gentlemen. I got an Alpha out there that needs finding. And don’t worry, I can take care of this myself. By the way, thanks for not killing me.”

“You kidding me,” Ralph said, chuckling. “We’d never kill a pregnant Omega.”

“Well it’s been a shit-ton of fucked up fun. Take care.”

He turned on his heels again and right after he made a first step, he heard the unmistakable click of a gun. Negan could sense the gun pointed at the back of his head easily enough. He smirked and shook his head at the betrayal he should have sensed was coming.

“I thought you said you’d never kill a pregnant Omega,” Negan reminded them. He turned slowly and faced Ralph who was holding the gun on him.

“We don’t. But a shot in the arm or leg isn’t killing you is it?” Both Chris and Jimmy smiled at their Alpha’s reply.

The friendliness that Ralph exhibited in his eyes had vanished. Now he had transformed into a cold, hard enemy.

“What the fuck is this?” Negan asked slowly.

Chris stormed up and delivered a strong slap to his face that sent him stumbling back.

“Quiet! You’re not in charge anymore Omega.”

“Easy Chris,” Ralph warned. “It’s best to get him back in one good piece for Terry.”

Negan forced down the pleas of his Omega side which was willing him to submit to those higher on the totem pole, but the sting in his cheek was making that hard. 

“Hold the fuck on,” he said as boldly as he could. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Yes you are,” Ralph said quietly and dangerously. “It’s dangerous out here. You’re an Omega, and you need an Alpha’s protection.”

“I have an Alpha!” He didn’t care if his shout brought on another onslaught of the dead. He wasn’t going to let this happen. 

“You sure do, and his name is Terry.” Ralph leaned in closer as a wicked smile lifted the corners of his lips. “You’re gonna like Terry. Now move!”

He grabbed his shoulder and roughly pushed him forward. With a groan, Negan started walking. His head was spinning in disbelief. This couldn’t be happening. He had escaped a herd in a deserted area downtown, got trapped at a satellite post, then escaped another herd just to end up a captive; a captive to people he himself had saved. His stomach plummeted further with every step he took. Rick was supposed to be out here somewhere and now it was possible he was getting farther away from him.

“Hey Omega.” Negan didn’t bother to scowl as he met Chris’s eyes. The bastard was giving him quite the shit-eating grin that was much like his own. “Thanks for saving us. It was a good plan.”

Negan let his head drop as Chris chuckled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Using walker guts as cover has become the go-to plan of getting past a herd, but also in the show, Negan used it with Gabe to escape Rick's herd at the Sanctuary. Since that scene never happened in this universe, Negan enacts it here with different dudes. Unfortunately, they weren't as trustworthy as he might have hoped they'd be.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan is introduced to Terry's pack

He needed it to be a nightmare. It would make sense if it was a nightmare, but considering the fact that he was really starting to feel the aching in his feet, he realized it wasn’t so. He was really following Chris to god knows where. He could still sense the gun on the back of his head as Ralph held it with Jimmy walking beside him.

“Terry’s still gonna be pissed about losing Patrick,” Jimmy suddenly announced.

“Well we got something to make up for that don’t we,” said Ralph. “Besides, Patrick was a dumbass that got himself killed.”

“You don’t have to do this shit,” Negan suddenly added. It was weak to say such a thing to men that had clearly made up their minds about what they wanted to do, but he wanted to try anyways in case there was a chance to escape. 

“We do,” Ralph countered calmly. “Omegas are precious, and my pack has a mission to look out for them, and save them.”

Negan felt a nasty twinge of shock running down his spine. It was like his own words coming back at him from the past somehow.

“Is your pack so hard up for Omegas that you’d fucking take me just like that? I’m fucking claimed!”

“That don’t mean shit to us,” Chris said. Then he started to laugh.

Negan balled his fists and came to a stop. Ralph growled and shoved his shoulder harshly, causing him to stumble forward.

“Get moving!”

Chris turned around with his lip pulled back, snarling as though he was an Alpha. Jimmy followed his companions’ lead and started growling hard too. It triggered the need to curl up into a ball with his head bowed. Negan refused to go that far, but he did duck his head and drop his eyes.

“Please...please, I helped you. I helped you escape those dead fucks! How the hell can you turn around and do this shit to me!”

He shifted nervously and forced himself to meet their eyes despite their dominant growls. 

“We appreciate you helping us,” said Ralph. He gave him a friendly smile as if a kidnapping wasn’t taking place right then. “And this is our way of returning the favor. You’ll see. We’ve got a great place with good food and good folks. It’s nice and safe enough to where you won’t have to worry about cold ones. And Terry’s just the best you’ll ever meet.”

“I already have the best,” Negan dared to growl back. “And his name is Rick.”

“If Rick was so great, he wouldn’t be so reckless with you,” said Jimmy with a laugh. “What kind of responsible Alpha allows his pregnant Omega to stay behind? He should’ve stuck you in a cave or kept you close.”  
“Exactly,” said Ralph. Negan shivered as he moved in just a little bit closer to stare hard into his eyes. “You’re lucky to be away from such a man.”

“No. I don’t want to…all I want to do is go back to him.”

“You don’t even know where the hell he is. He’s probably dead,” said Chris offhandedly.

The simple theory was enough to shake him momentarily. Being that he hadn’t found Rick yet, it wasn’t impossible that the man might be dead. His eyes suddenly felt moist and he quickly blinked them to avoid another issue.

“He’s not. I know he’s not. I can find him, on my own. I don’t need your pack, or Terry.”

He started to walk off, but Ralph’s fingers closed tightly around his shoulder and pulled him back.

“I beg to differ,” he said as he pointed the gun into his back. “You do need our pack, and you need Terry. And I don’t want to hear any more fussing about it.”

He pushed him forward again.

“Please, my pup needs its father.”

He only received a sharp growl from Ralph as they all started moving again. Warning bells were going off hard in Negan’s mind, shouting at him to flee for his life. But he couldn’t risk it. If Ralph wanted to shoot him somewhere that wasn’t fatal, he could be caught again anyways. There was no running with a bulging pup in his belly, and he was outnumbered one to three.

“My Alpha can get you more food,” he tried desperately. “He can find weapons for you. Any fucking thing you want!”

Ralph leaned in close to his ear and gripped his shoulder again.

“We want you,” he whispered in his ear.

Negan gulped hard and stared straight ahead. Slowly he let his fingers slide over his back pants’ pocket where he still carried the gun. He hadn’t made use of it as he feared what the Alpha and Betas would do if they saw he, an Omega, had a gun. Some didn’t believe in Omegas carrying weapons, and such situations could trigger a problem. He certainly hadn’t wanted his only source of protection confiscated at the time, but now there was a need to take a risk.

Just as his fingers started to curl around it, he felt another set of fingers on top of them.

“Be still,” Ralph said softly. The next thing he knew, the Alpha was pulling it out of his pocket. Defeated, Negan shut his eyes. “That’s a little too dangerous for your kind. It’s the Alpha’s job to protect the Omegas. Here Jimmy.”

Chris looked back to see what the sudden commotion was and his eyes widened at the gun that was being passed to the other Beta.

“The fuck! He had a piece on him? Crazy.”

“My Alpha trusts me to defend myself,” Negan grumbled. He knew there was really no point in arguing, but he couldn’t seem to help saying something.

“Well you won’t have to worry about that nonsense where you’re going,” said Ralph.

A little further along, past the trees, a four door gray truck came into view. Negan came to a stop again. If he got in that truck there was no telling where he’d end up or how far it would be from Alexandria. But once more Ralph nudged him forward. Chris opened the back door and gestured for Negan to take a seat inside. Rather than take that first step, he looked around desperately.

“Look, you fucks take me, my Alpha will kill you, slowly.”

For that he received a sharp slap across the face that had him yelping. This time it had been from Ralph’s hand.

“Enough of that sass,” he warned. “If your ex-Alpha’s dumb enough to try and claim you, we got plenty of bullets for him. Now get in, or would you rather I knock you out first?”

Negan bowed his head and stepped forward. He knew when he was beat. Quietly he guided himself into the backseat of the truck. Ralph sidled in after him with the gun still on him while the other two took the front seats. The pounding of his already fast beating heart picked up the moment Chris started the ignition. 

“And away we go,” he said with a chuckle.

With a shaky sigh, Negan slumped back and shut his eyes. He almost wished he had Lucille to bash his head against because right now he felt like the dumbest person alive. Running after Rick had seemed like such a good idea, but in the end it had gotten him absolutely nowhere.

“So, how far along are you?”

Negan slowly turned to look at Ralph, giving him a raised eyebrow.

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Yeah I am. You look like you’re close.”

“You know if it’s a boy or a girl?” Jimmy questioned as he looked around.

It was crazy how they were talking; like what they’d done was totally normal and fine. They were just talking to him like he was already a member of the pack, but he wasn’t going to go along with it. With a glare he turned his attention to the window.

“Come on Jimmy,” Chris said, “how’s he supposed to know the sex? I imagine most of those machines are non-working now.”

“Well, what do you want, boy or girl?”

Negan just ignored Jimmy’s second question. He didn’t even care if he got slapped for it.

“Leave him be Jims. This is still new to him, but he’ll come around.”

Negan wanted to argue that he never would, but didn’t feel the energy to do so. When he felt a small kick within his belly, he moved his hand over the area. Mentally he assured the pup that everything would be alright. It was his duty to protect his child, so no matter what this pack did to him he would make sure it didn’t get hurt, somehow.

 

It felt like hours before they reached some form of a settlement. There was a tall iron gate surrounding an old two story, cheap looking motel that was in fairly good shape except for the missing sign, graffiti, and a few smashed windows. Keeping a lookout along the brick part of the gate were several serious looking guards who were padded in armor similar to the Kingdom’s members. 

As their vehicle got closer the gates were opened, and Negan was able to see more of the pack’s private world. The wide parking lot was home to a couple of mobile homes and a couple of small tents. The place was quite active with people going about their daily duties. Some were chatting or playing games while others were doing things like hanging out the laundry, eating at long tables, or tending to a garden. 

“Welcome home,” Ralph told him, smiling.

Negan simply stared. People were pausing and looking up as Chris drove them inside and parked next to another car.

“Just what I fucking need.”

Negan turned away from the curious members to see what had gotten Chris’s attention as he could sense him getting a little excited. He was looking at the car he’d just parked next to which was rocking noticeably thanks to two people within. Chris got out and started banging on the window. Next he grabbed the handle and opened the door. Right away, the naked female Omega was revealed, on all fours on the backseat, obviously knotted to the greasy looking Alpha behind her. She gave a shaky cry and bowed her head as Chris hovered near, grinning. Wordlessly he reached out and grabbed one of her boobs for a squeeze.

“I’m next,” Chris declared with a growl.

The Alpha just laughed as he continued to pump into his Omega who was doing her best to stifle her whimpers.

“You’re third. Ben wants a taste after me.”

She gave a loud cry when the Alpha suddenly thrusted into her hard, and her eyes rose to meet Negan’s gaze. It was a familiar scene to him, but now as an Omega, the sight made him uncomfortable. He quickly averted his eyes while the pair continued to mate.

Chris didn’t bother to shut the door again as he turned away. Jimmy followed as he moved to the building itself and Negan was forced to follow behind as Ralph gave a push to his back.

“I’m assuming that wasn’t my new Alpha Terry,” Negan said with a groan.

“Hey, you’re sharp,” Chris joked.

“That was Bud,” said Ralph. “He might get a taste of you sometime.”

The tension Negan felt was immediate. From that he gathered that most of the members probably didn’t care that he was already claimed, and it was possible that they weren’t picky about the gender of an Omega. He cast his attention on the members. The members that were putting in their time on chores were the Omegas, most of which he saw were women. Dotting the area seemingly acting as attentive guards were a mix of gun toting Betas and Alphas. Unlike the Omegas who were watching him with sad dirty faces, the Betas and Alphas were smiling and appeared more put together than those below them. Negan picked up on their interest quick enough as the scents of excited Alphas and Betas engulfed his nose and sent the hairs on the back of his neck standing straight up. There was a good number of them too, which meant that an escape attempt would be quite the challenge.

He turned back when he heard Chris knock on one of the room’s doors. A heavyset, black Beta answered the door looking none too pleased. Ralph handed the gun to Jimmy while he took the lead.

“We’re back. We need to speak to Terry. Got a gift for him.” He nodded back at Negan who stiffened and dropped his eyes.

“I’m fucking claimed,” he dared to say. The remark earned him a slap to the face from Chris.

The large Beta gruffed before moving aside to allow them entry.

Negan took in the wide room, double beds, and kitchenette before taking notice of a group of men playing cards in the corner. Out of the six, four were Betas but the others were Alphas.

“Whoever the hell is interrupting my game, better have a damn good reason.” 

It had been a clean looking blonde haired Alpha that had said the threatening words. From the boldness of his dark eyes as well as from the way he held himself, Negan got the impression that he was the Alpha of the pack. And when the Alpha raised his eyes, Negan instinctively took a step back. In a matter of seconds the Alpha was issuing possessive growls as he stared at him. Just the sound alone carried enough power to rattle his core. 

“Well hello…you,” he greeted in a predatory tone of voice.

A toothy grin appeared on his clean-shaven face. He dropped the cards he was holding and slowly rose to his feet. Negan desired to take another step back, but forced himself to hold it together. This man was well-built and just as tall as himself. From appearance alone he didn’t seem all that intimidating, yet there was an aura about him that said otherwise. Something he was sure he had carried when he was an Alpha.   
“Look at you. You’re something pretty aren’t you.” His eyes dropped to the obvious bulging belly, and his grin widened. “And you’re not alone.”

The air was becoming thinner as he moved closer in a manner that suggested he was stalking his prey for lunch. How he wished the man would find a male Omega, and a pregnant one at that, repulsive. But no, the man was attracted to his natural handsomeness. Had it been an Alexandrian giving him such a look, he would have boasted about it since he had always liked his looks, but he didn’t dare try it here. He just maintained eye contact while inwardly cringing. He prayed the man wouldn’t touch him.

“Jesus, where’d you find him?” one of the Betas at the table asked. “Looks like shit covered in shit.”

“He came across us when we got in trouble,” Jimmy answered. 

“He’s not bit is he?” the blonde Alpha asked as he took note of the blood and dried fluids here and there on Negan’s person.

“No. It was part of his plan to get us out…of trouble.”

The other Alpha at the table whistled while two other Betas exchanged words quietly as they scanned Negan’s body. The heavyset Beta just watched the scene unfold from the wall. 

“Looks like he’s about to bust.”

“Why’d you bring a pregnant one? What, you couldn’t find a fucking female?”

“Damn that body. I wanna hear him scream when I knot him.”

“I’m first.”

Negan could already feel himself sweating. The other men’s words did very little to distract him from the still staring blonde. As he got closer, his Omega side screamed. It wasn’t safe to be here! He had to get away now! A tremor went down his back and started his whole body trembling slightly. 

“What’s your name?” the Alpha asked silkily.

Negan took a breath and summoned what courage he had. 

“I’m fucking claimed,” he replied.

The other Alpha as well as two of the Betas started growling hard. The blonde waved at them for silence, then chuckled.

“That’s a funny name, especially for an Omega.”

“Terry,” Ralph broke in. “Something else happened while we were out there.”

Terry didn’t acknowledge him by looking in his direction. Unable to take the dark eyes boring into his, Negan dropped his eyes to the floor.

“Later,” Terry hissed.

“It’s important, it’s about Patrick,” Ralph tried.

Terry turned to him at last, snarling.

“Can’t you fucking see that I’m trying to get acquainted with my new Omega?” The tone was calm, yet quite dangerous. No one spoke or moved a muscle.

Just then there was a knock on the door. 

“Who is it?” Terry demanded.

“Your lunch!” came a female’s voice from the other side.

Terry nodded at the black Beta who crossed over to open the door. Since Negan’s back was to the door, he couldn’t see who had come, but he didn’t care. His mind couldn’t focus on anything else.

“Put it on the table.”

Negan listened as the newcomer padded into the room upon Terry’s orders. It was definitely an Omega and she was carrying a try of delicious smelling food. 

“You know, I’m being rude,” said the Alpha. “I should have started with introductions, but I think you already caught that my name’s Terry. And what about you? Don’t be fucking rude and say you’re claimed again, cause that’s not what I wanna hear.”

Negan swallowed hard and forced himself to meet the man’s eyes. He rationalized that it was probably best to be somewhat honest for the moment until he could manage to slip away.

“I’m…”

His own name got caught in his throat the minute he let his eyes catch sight of the woman when she turned around. She too froze in her tracks when she met his eyes, and her mouth parted in shock. Negan didn’t want to believe what he was seeing, but he knew it had to be true. Standing there, in a skimpy little flowery dress, brunette hair reaching down to her shoulders, was none other than Sherry. His Sherry from when he had been an Alpha.

“Jesus,” he gasped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, unfortunately Negan's been brought to a new pack and has met Terry. Definitely not a good situation. But Sherry's there to his surprise.   
> I always wanted those two to see each other again.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherry explains a few things

He couldn’t stop staring at her; this ghost from the past. For a few seconds he almost thought he was back there at the Sanctuary with her, but as an Alpha. As stunned as she appeared at the sight of him, she did manage to drop her gaze, but Negan just couldn’t.

“Hey, what’s the matter sweet thing? You stopped working?” 

Negan turned his attention back to Terry. The man seemed to be leaning into his face at a closer range now.

“I uh…fuck,” Negan said unintelligibly.

“I asked what your name is. I’m pretty sure it’s not Jesus.”

Somehow with Sherry present, his uneasiness increased. She shouldn’t have to see him like this. He dropped his head as shame tickled his insides. 

“Negan,” he answered with an air of defeat.

“What’s that, like Megan?” one of the Betas at the table joked. It caused the others to start laughing up a storm. Terry, on the other hand, was eyeing him curiously.

“I kind of like it. It’s different.”

He moved even closer. Negan took a step back, but the Alpha issued a growl to keep him in place. 

“I haven’t had a good male Omega in ages,” Terry continued. He proceeded to look him up and down. “Especially not a tall beauty like you. You’re gonna stay close to me aren’t you.”

Negan knew there was only one answer to the statement, particularly when he looked up and saw the other men growling at him. Sherry still kept her head down, but he could see her tensing up in response to the men. After a hard swallow, he nodded.

Terry’s smile widened and he patted his cheek.

“Good boy. No more of this nonsense about being claimed. Sherry!”

Negan stared at her once more as she came forward instantly.

“Yes Alpha.”

“Show my new Omega to his room. Room 115 ought’a do it. He is carrying afterall.”

Sherry nodded then caught Negan’s eyes before heading for the door. Negan took the cue to follow. Then following behind him was Chris which caused Negan to come to a stop and face him. 

“I don’t need a damn babysitter.”

“Think of it as watching over our Omega.”

Negan looked to Terry for help. The Alpha waved a hand to order Chris to back down.

“I think my new Omega is safe around Sherry here. And he’s pregnant in case you didn’t notice Chris. I can’t imagine a pregnant Omega would be able to do shit.”

Negan nodded in thanks and proceeded to follow Sherry. He could feel himself ready to burst with questions. Still he felt a wave of embarrassment for the predicament he’d landed in. That embarrassment increased when he glanced down at his belly. Sherry knew him as an Alpha; a penetrating force that sought out Omegas and sneered at male Omegas. And now he had become the thing he was known to hate. Even though they had conversed after his change into an Omega, he hadn’t had to face her with it dead on, especially in a state of pregnancy. 

“All the Omegas are kept in the center rooms on the first floor,” Sherry began in a forced businesslike manner. “The Alphas occupy the office and the second floors along with the Betas.”

“Sherry, what are you doing here?”

“As you can see, we do all the work here. I’m not sure if Terry will assign you a chore or not, given your condition.”

He definitely detected that she was miffed with him, but at the same time she was treating him like a complete stranger. He glanced around at the pack they were walking by. They were still giving him curious looks. It was enough to quiet him for the moment. The last thing he wanted to do was draw more attention. He listened halfheartedly as Sherry continued explaining how things were done.

He wasn’t surprised by anything she was telling him because so far it seemed similar to the way he had run his pack at the Sanctuary. Omegas were at the bottom handling the workload that didn’t involve going outside the gates. Unlike his system, there wasn’t a case of Betas and Alphas working for points. It was up to Terry’s appointed council to decide on what was fair when it came to supply division. And whenever an Alpha or Beta wanted to fuck an Omega, they were free to do so, anywhere and at any time. The only exception was if an Omega happened to be Terry’s personal favorite. Negan prayed he wasn’t becoming it.

“So basically, Terry’s the old me,” Negan stated once Sherry had stopped in front of the Omega rooms.

“Basically,” came her cold reply. She turned and opened the door then stepped aside, waiting for him to enter. “Never lock the doors. Omegas are forbidden to do so. It’s so a Beta or Alpha can come in whenever they desire.”

There was nothing different about the room except there was only one bed and no kitchenette. Negan took it in before sinking slowly down at the foot of the bed.

“This is one of the better rooms for newbies,” Sherry explained. “You might be in here for at least a week before Terry allows you to share with the…others.”

He could tell she didn’t take to the idea of him being mixed with the rest. 

“Sherry, please. What the hell are you doing here?” The door was shut and they were out of earshot of the pack as far as he could tell. 

She refused to look at him and even trembled just a little.

“Don’t…don’t ask about that.”

“Sherry.” He got to his feet, making her jolt noticeably. The shame he felt increased. When she finally managed to look at him, he found himself feeling quite embarrassed to be in the same room as her. “I’m…I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I know that,” she spat. “You’re an Omega. And, Terry doesn’t tolerate fighting of any kind. You’ll spend a night in the shack if you start something.”

“I don’t give a damn about shacks,” he cried, his voice raising. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“What the hell are you doing here?” she challenged back. “I thought you escaped the Sanctuary.”

Negan gave a sad smile and sank back onto the bed. It was odd taking his mind all the way back to the start of his new life. It was something he had packed away long ago since becoming quite accustomed to life as Rick Grimes’s Omega. But even before now, he had received little reminders of his past life, and seeing Sherry again brought it all into focus.

“Seems like ages ago,” he started slowly. His stomach turned and he swallowed thickly. He really didn’t feel like going over it, but Sherry appeared determined to hear the story. “Simon set me free, and I tried making it on my own. But Rick Grimes, you remember him? The last asshole I had working for me before shit went down. He heard about me and hunted me down. I went through a lot of shit, but in short, I became Rick’s Omega.”

She looked both confused and surprised at the same time. 

“He heard you turned into an Omega?” 

“No, he heard I got out,” Negan corrected. “He found out when he found me. He was out to kill me, but he turned me into his bitch instead.”

“And he…” she trailed off as her eyes landed on his obvious bulge. He could practically see her mind working furiously to make sense of seeing him that way. 

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “He fucked me good. Got me pregnant with twins before this one.”

He rubbed his belly fondly as he gazed at it. So far Terry didn’t appear to show any signs of disgust or aggression at seeing another’s pup within him. Often an Alpha wouldn’t stand for it, so he wasn’t quite sure how to read that.

“I can’t believe it,” she muttered.

“You can’t believe it,” Negan said incredulously. “Sometimes I wake up not believing it myself. As much as it pissed me off to be Rick’s Omega, I’ve come to appreciate it, and I’ve come to love my pups.”

“Well, you’re Terry’s Omega now.”

“I’m not,” Negan said with a growl. “I was looking for Rick when Terry’s men got me. But how about you? How’d you get caught?”

She averted her eyes as she leaned back against a table behind her and rubbed at her arm.

“I left the Sanctuary with another girl, Anne. After you changed and Lenny took over, I couldn’t stay.” 

Negan nodded in agreement as his stomach turned from the memory of the man.

“You sure as fuck couldn’t. Go on.”

“Well, Anne and I made it on our own for a little while, then we met up with a small pack that took us in. Just a few Betas and Omegas. They were kind. We lived with them for a good couple of years. But then one of Terry’s pack members found us and pretended to need help.” Her face started to become quite gray. “They killed the Betas. Anne tried to run but ended up getting killed by the dead. I tried to run too, but I got knocked out. The next thing I know, I’m waking up in this place.”

“And the, other Omegas in your pack?” he asked cautiously.

“They’re here too. We don’t talk anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” Negan said softly as he dropped his head. 

Sherry pinched at her arm before pushing away from the table, suddenly agitated.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s in the past. You should take a shower. You’re so, bloody and disgusting.”

At that he offered up a sheepish grin while gazing down at his still semi-gut coated self. He had almost forgotten he wasn’t exactly fresh and clean.

“Damn. Thanks for the reminder. Shit feels like it’s seeping into my pores.”

“Well, I’ll leave you to clean up.”

She turned on her heels and approached the door. Negan jumped to his feet.

“Wait, I gotta know.” She paused at the door but didn’t look back at him. “Why didn’t you run from here? If you escaped from the Sanctuary, then this place oughta be a piece of cake.”

“Shut up!” He tensed upon hearing the obvious fear in her tone. “You don’t know what it’s like here. You think I wanted to stay?” She turned to him, and this time there were tears in her eyes. “This place is worse than the Sanctuary. And Terry…he’s worse than you.”

The latter sent an actual chill through Negan’s bones. It was almost something he couldn’t comprehend, yet he understood perfectly. He hadn’t gotten good vibes from Terry, but the one thing he had gotten was that Terry had a thing for him. He felt sick just at the thought of those dark eyes looking at him with intense desire. He didn’t want to believe Sherry, yet it was clear in her eyes. 

“Sher…” He trailed off. He wanted to know about this Terry person, but was afraid of the answer.

Sherry turned and opened the door. When she did, she ended up surprising a thin, female Omega with long blonde hair. 

“Hi Sherry doll. You had the same idea I did. Checking on the newbie.” 

She made her way inside and zoned in on Negan instantly. Right away Negan got the impression that the woman didn’t get much sleep. Being that she was currently smoking, he assumed much of her days were spent with a cigarette between her fingers. She looked worn, but was putting on the mannerisms of someone trying to hold it together. 

“Well aren’t you something. A manly Omega. Christ.” Negan kept himself from frowning at the unpleasant tone. It was a clear sign she wasn’t welcoming him. She stood directly in front of him and let her eyes drink him up. When she saw his pup bulging belly, she cooed excitedly. “Oh shit…you’re carrying! Shit, can I feel?”

Without giving him a chance to consent, the strange woman pressed her hand against his belly. He gasped at the not-so gentle touch.

“Sherry did you fucking feel? Fuck! A real pup. Shit, I can’t remember the last time…I saw a pup.”

Pure delight was shining through her eyes, but Negan didn’t view it as a heartwarming moment. Without expressing his distrust, he removed her hand as nicely as he could and wrapped his arm around his belly protectively.

“Technically you’re not seeing a pup since it’s still in me. And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t smoke around it.” 

He refrained from saying she would never get a chance to see it since he planned to be long gone before then. 

She smirked at him in something of a nasty way and stepped back.

“Witty huh?” She backed away and took in his face, now appearing unimpressed with him. “Terry sure got a winner here. What’s his name?”

“Negan,” Sherry replied. 

“Ha…that’s memorable,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “Well, Negie…welcome to the family. We sure as shit are gonna take good care of you precious.”

Her eyes lingered on his unborn pup for a minute before she waltzed to the door and made her exit. Sherry gave a relieved sigh before dropping her head.

“Who the fuck was that?”

She faced him, face quite serious.

“Emma, Terry’s Omega. She has a tendency to be jealous of new Omegas. I’d be careful around her if I was you.” She made to follow Emma’s example by leaving him alone.

“Sherry.” She paused, waiting for him to say more, but he wasn’t exactly sure what to say. He still had questions and concerns to address, but right now he just felt super overwhelmed, and filthy.  
She gave a sigh and turned away from him.

“Welcome home Negan,” she said emotionlessly before closing the door behind her.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan learns it's time to begin his duties to Terry's pack. Meanwhile Michonne contemplates

He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so dirty as he made his way into the bathroom. Negan shut the door behind him and locked it with a sigh of relief. He suspected this would be his one chance at having a moment of peace, and he was going to relish it for as long as he could with a nice long shower. He rinsed off the stains on his hands before peeling off the gut covered blanket. 

“Shit,” he muttered in disgust as he felt the coldness of the walker guts even more on his bare skin. After stripping down to nothing, he searched the cabinets for a towel and soap. He dropped a hand across his belly and rubbed. “Alright sweetheart, let’s see if their showers are as good as Alexandria’s.”

 

Negan stepped out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his waist. He wasn’t sure how long he’d stayed under the hot water, but it was long enough to wipe away some of the stress and all of the blood.   
He turned his attention to the closet and found some hanging clothes. There was no guarantee that they’d fit, particularly in his current state. Regardless he fingered through the shirts and eventually found a gray shirt that was clearly large enough for a big person. He rustled through the pants and quickly saw something with elastic. 

“Now all we need to figure out, is how to get the hell out of here,” he muttered as he pulled the clothes out. Upon arriving, he hadn’t paid much attention to the lay of the land, but if Sherry had failed to get out, he assumed security had to be much tighter than Alexandria’s and the old Sanctuary’s combined.

Just then, a sudden noise started up from the front door startling him. He quickly saw it was the doorknob turning as someone was attempting to get in. Being that Negan decided to lock it, the person on the other side began to pound on the wood. 

“Open up sweetheart,” came Terry’s voice in a sickening singsong manner. 

“Fuck,” Negan grumbled before taking a deep breath. He quickly slipped on the pair of pants to complete his outfit before opening the door.

It wasn’t just Terry on the other side, but Chris as well. The smile on his face made Negan want to punch him hard.

“Looks like Sherry didn’t explain the rules about locked doors,” Chris noted as both men walked in. Negan backed away and averted his eyes from the staring Terry.

“Maybe I’ll have to remind her, the hard way,” he mused thoughtfully.

“No, she told me,” Negan said quickly. “I just, forgot. This is all new to me still.”

With a look of adoration, Terry shortened the distance between them and placed his hands on either side of his face, making Negan tense up more.

“Of course it is precious. This is a lot to wrap your head around on the first day, but you’ll get there.” His fingers pressed into his cheeks, and Negan was unable to suppress a groan from the slight pain and the jolt in response to the touch. “But, one thing you must wrap your head around now, is that you’re my Omega. And if I want to touch you…” Negan felt his eyes water and a whimper slipped out of his mouth after one of Terry’s hands ran down the side of his waist, threatening to slip between his legs. He didn’t miss the nearly quiet moan of want in the Alpha’s throat. “You won’t refuse. Got it?”

He didn’t want to fear the man of course, but he was far too vulnerable. Courage refused to come as the Alpha bore down on him demanding his subservience without having to say much. He couldn’t risk the trouble, not in his pregnant state.

“Y-yes…Alpha.”

“Good.” He delivered a light slap to his cheek before stepping away. “Glad to see you’re all cleaned up by the way. I could’ve helped you with that.”

“I had it,” he stated as firmly as he could. “That why you’re here? Thought I was too weak to clean my own ass? Like a damn pup.”

“Oh, you’re anything but a damn pup,” he replied as he plopped down at the end of his bed.

Negan got something of a chill as he stared at the smiling man. For a second he was reminded of his old self. He shook out of it and glanced at Chris who seemed to be acting as a delighted guard.

“Then what the hell are you here for?”

“Ooww, you don’t normally like them mouthy do you Terry?” Chris asked before making a tsking sound. 

“I wouldn’t mind so much, since it’s his mouth.”

His grin widened while Negan’s stomach plummeted. It was something he would have said if the situation was reversed and he was speaking with a female Omega. Unnerved, Negan just did his best to avoid looking at him for too long.

“We’re here, or rather I’m here to show you your new job,” Chris explained. “Being an Omega, you already know your place, so it shouldn’t fucking surprise you that you’ve got a job.”

Negan felt tired at the idea of doing chores. Mentally it brought him back to the days when Rick placed him on a steady routine of chores. Of course over the years it hadn’t become such torture, but he imagined it would be a different story here.

“But I’m, pregnant. Eight fucking months which means I can’t do fucking much,” he bit back. He felt pumped up enough to hit him with some confidence. It was a good excuse, and one that he should understand. 

“There’s still some things you can do. Wash dishes, sweep floors. We promise to make you stop if that pup’s head starts slipping out of your ass.”

He laughed, but Terry didn’t join in. Instead he let his eyes hover on Negan’s belly, which Negan covered protectively. 

“Got a name for it?” Terry decided to ask.

“No,” he said bitterly while looking away.

“Well I’ve got a good one.”

“I bet you do,” he muttered.

Terry chuckled as he shook his head. 

“Well, I better let you get to work.” He clapped his hands on his knees and rose to his feet. “Can’t waste the whole day getting nothing done.”

“So, even on my first day here I can’t catch a break,” Negan lightly growled.

“Now you’re getting it,” Terry complimented as though he’d been a pup that had solved some difficult math equation. “I don’t know how it was with your ex-Alpha, but I don’t believe in lazy, weak Omegas. Your purpose is to serve your pack and your Alpha, so yeah, you don’t get to catch a break. Now go out there and make your Alpha proud. I know you can do it.”

The Alpha moved in to give him a side embrace like they were close buddies. His pheromones were on full force, and Negan could tell without inhaling that this Alpha was just a little too excited right now. When Terry’s smile started to fade, it heightened Negan’s fear. His nose scrunched up as if he smelled something unpleasant.

“What a shitty smell that old Alpha of yours left on you. But don’t worry. I’ll get rid of that in no time. This is your family now….rrrriiiighttt?”

Fingers grabbed the gland, his sacred gland that only Rick was meant to bite or squeeze. And these fingers squeezed much harder on it, causing Negan to yelp and slump. To make it worse, Terry just had to go breathing heavily in his ear.

“Right,” Negan agreed as quickly as he could. “Right. Family…you’re my family.”

“That’s right.” 

Negan didn’t think the moment could worsen, but it did when Terry pressed a hand on his bulging belly. His brain screamed for him to run, but since Terry still had him by the gland, his other instincts were informing him to submit.

Terry chuckled then released him, but Negan didn’t relax until he walked out of the room.

“Fuck,” he whispered shakily. 

Chris clapped his hands together and gave him a slight push on his back to get him moving toward the door. 

“I think you’re really gonna like it here.”

“Not fucking likely.”

 

Michonne stared at Alexandria’s gate, but she was not really seeing it. In fact, she didn’t even feel like she was sitting on the steps of Rick’s house in Alexandria. She was in a bad dream where their leader had vanished, and later the same had happened to his Omega who happened to be carrying an innocent pup. She shook her head in anger whenever she thought about him just running off and disregarding the dangers. 

She didn’t react as she heard the door behind her open, nor did she turn as Carl sank down next to her.

“Hey,” he greeted.

“Hey,” she greeted back quietly.

“Are you okay?”

Michonne turned to him, but didn’t bother to put on a smile.

“I should be asking you that, and Lucy, and Jake.”

Carl turned away as a clear expression of sorrow showed on his face.

“They’re getting more worried about Negan. I still haven’t told them the truth.” He paused before looking back at her again. “Do you think I should? I hate lying to them.”

Michonne stared forward as she thought about it. They were only four years old, and the last thing she wanted was to see them living day to day broken and worried. It was bad enough they had Rick to worry about, but hearing about their mother’s disappearance would potentially make it worse.

“I think we might have to eventually, if we can’t find Negan soon,” Michonne whispered. She ran a hand over her brow and shook her head. “Damn it. Why the hell did he have to pull that shit off? Idiot.”

“He was really worried about dad.”

“I know. I get it. But it’s not just that. He’s an Omega, and his instincts helped drive him to go after Rick. I should’ve stayed with him. An Omega can go crazy without their mate and I just didn’t think about that. I thought he was handling it alright.”

“Michonne, you couldn’t have known he’d go that far,” Carl reasoned. “I didn’t either and I live with him.”

“What if he got himself killed?” she asked shakily. 

She didn’t even want to imagine it. Despite the type of man he’d been in the past, she had come to known the changed version of him. He was no longer a man that they needed protection from. It was now the other way around, where he needed to be protected. She had talked with him and shared things. Whenever Negan needed an ear that wasn’t Rick, he would come to her, like they were friends. Michonne had never put a label on what they had, but it was as if she suddenly realized that’s what they had become.

“Maybe he found dad,” Carl suggested hopefully. 

She looked at him as if hoping to see the truth of those words in his eyes. If only she could get some kind of a sign that he was alright, along with Rick. 

“Maybe.”

“You’re one of the few people that cares about Negan,” Carl continued. He dropped his head, but Michonne caught the look of disappointment on his face. 

“He’s made it hard to care about him. You know what an asshole he can be.” She laughed lightly at the thought and in turn made Carl laugh. “But he’s changed. Eventually everyone else will see it too, I hope. I hope he’s okay.”

“We’ll find him, and dad too.”

She smiled and patted his back in a way of saying she believed him. The search parties wouldn’t give up on Rick, and they sure as hell wouldn’t give up on finding Negan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very brief introduction to Negan's new life.   
> I'm hoping to update another chapter at the end of this week!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan truly brought into Terry's pack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Negan's harsh new life really begins to take off here :(

The easiest thing for Negan to do at the moment, was to imagine that he was doing the laundry of his own Alpha and pups. It was the only way he was getting through having to wash a basket full of strangers’ clothing. Every now and then he looked at some random Beta or Alpha walking around and glared at them, imagining that one of the shirts or boxers belonged to someone he laid eyes on.

“How’s this anyway to treat the newbie?” he asked aloud.

“All Omegas work,” said an older female Omega who resided near him doing her share of the pack’s laundry. “Would you rather be handling the food station?”

Negan gazed over to an area of the parking lot where they’d basically set up a cooking space outdoors with a few grills and large pots of foods. Three Omegas were manning the station and spooning a certain amount of food into the bowls of people passing the table. From their expressions, they looked quite tired and barely aware. He feared the same thing might eventually happen to him. Then he smirked as an idea tickled his brain.

“I might, if I can get ahold of the right ingredients,” he replied, catching her attention.

She moved closer and lowered her voice.

“Don’t even think about it. Attempting poisoning won’t work.”

“How do you know?”

“You think you’re the first to come up with it. The first to think of it became a bloodstain on that wall over there.” She nodded to a portion of a metal wall that was set up across the grounds. From a distance, Negan could see the obvious stains of past blood splatters. “Terry has eyes everywhere, and in your condition, you can’t afford trouble.”

She moved back to her spot, leaving Negan a little shaky. After carrying a soaking shirt out to dry on the nearby clothesline, he caught sight of Emma. She was leaning against the wall near one of the rooms smoking her cigarette, and she just happened to be watching him. She didn’t smile or wave. All she did was give him a subtle stink eye before turning away.

“They tell you how it is around here?” the old Omega asked him.

“Sherry gave me the rundown.” He decided to scan the area for any sign of the brunette, but didn’t see a sign of her. “She mentioned Terry has favorites. Is she, one of them?”

He wished he hadn’t asked it, but at the same time he had to know. Sherry had been his Omega, and he of course had never cared for any other Alpha or Beta putting their hands on her. It was different now, yet such a feeling lingered in him.

“She was, once,” came the reply, which made his heart sink in a sickening way. “Terry’s not known for sticking with a favorite too long. Or maybe, they just haven’t been good enough.”

Negan didn’t meet her eyes as she gazed at him. She knew what she was saying and he just couldn’t take that right now. Swallowing hard, he moved away to hang out a pair of socks. 

“I’m pregnant,” he stated flatly. “That should be a turn off to him.”

“I’m guessing you haven’t encountered many Alpha’s like Terry,” she said with a sad little laugh. 

With a bowed head, Negan sighed. 

“Not like Terry, but close. He didn’t let his pack fuck Omegas whenever they wanted, and he sure as hell didn’t decide their share of things. They worked for points and that system kept people alive. They may have hated him for it, but…” He paused as he caught sight of Sherry in the distance, unhappily moving with a box of cleaning supplies in her arms. Negan willed her to look over at him, but she never did. Instead she turned and entered one of the rooms. “It kept people alive. He may have had to bash in a few skulls, but it was always for a good reason.”

“Hmph, sounds like another asshole Alpha to me.”

Negan didn’t argue it. He was suddenly feeling even worse, so much so that his stomach seemed to be churning with discomfort. Now wasn’t the time to think of the past, but for a moment he couldn’t help comparing his old Alpha self to Terry. He wasn’t at all sure why he was doing it, particularly since it wasn’t bringing him any form of comfort.

The pup gave a few kicks, prompting Negan to place a hand on it. It scared him to imagine not getting out before it was born. 

 

After the laundry, Negan was tasked with sweeping the sidewalk in front of the rooms. The looks stemming from curious Omegas continued, but none other than the one Omega he worked with dared to come over to chat. In fact, there seemed to be very little conversations going on between the Omegas. They worked rather quietly while it was the Betas and Alphas making up for the loud chatting and laughter. Even the more silent and serious looking guards broke their demeanor to talk or share a laugh with someone. If an Omega happened to be loud, it was because they were crying out or moaning as they were publicly fucked. No one seemed to care if a Beta or Alpha just grabbed one, stripped him or her, and just had their way with said Omega right on the spot. 

Negan hated that he couldn’t look away from such a scene. His Sanctuary had never run in such a horrible manner. He wanted people of all standings to enjoy themselves, so long as they earned it through hard work. This place was looking like a prison compared to his old home. But then he saw the faces of his harem of female Omegas. He couldn’t recall any of them looking truly happy. 

He swallowed down the bile that threatened to come up his throat. Suddenly he wasn’t feeling too well. 

“You eat yet?”

Negan spun around and groaned at the sight of Ralph grinning at him. 

“This place made me lose my appetite,” he grumbled back.

“You can’t afford to do that. Not with a bun in the over and all.” Negan just proceeded to ignore him by turning his back on him. Undeterred, Ralph reached around and grabbed the broom to stop him. “I mean it. Go eat. You’re going to need your strength for tonight.”

With a quirked brow, Negan turned to him. He didn’t like the sound of whatever Ralph was implying.

“What’s tonight?” He wished he hadn’t sounded so worried when he asked.

Ralph just waved a finger at him and shook his head.

“Can’t go spoiling the surprise now can I. Now go, take a break.”

He hesitated before dropping the broom while his eyes lingered on Ralph for any sign of a trick. The only thing he saw was a genuine, friendly smile.

“We’re not monsters here Negan. I know you’re fucking pissed about what me and my boys did to you, but it was for your own safety. We’re helping you here.”

“More like helping Terry,” Negan dared to add. 

Ralph shrugged and gave something of a slight nod.

“Can’t run a strong pack without a strong Alpha at the front.” He let his eyes drop down to his belly before continuing. “I’ve no doubt that in time, you’ll be thanking us for what we did.”

“Sure,” he muttered before wandering toward the cooking space. 

He wouldn’t argue against what Ralph was telling him, because it had been his own viewpoint back in the day. To a degree he still felt that way, yet considering all the years he watched Rick run the Alexandrians, he’d come to realize there were some things he could have done differently.

 

The food from the pots was wafting strongly through the air as Negan neared the station. He picked up a bowl from the table just as his stomach started growling. Ahead of him in line were two Betas. One was laughing rather loudly and seemed to be drunk. As a thin looking Omega spooned some food into his bowl, the Beta growled possessively and reached out to squeeze her breast, making her yelp in surprise.

“You’ll be seeing me later tonight, won’t you sweetheart?”

His throat drummed up intense growling that left the woman no choice but to bow her head and nod.

“You’re gonna share her right?” his Beta friend asked as he clapped him on the back.

As they walked away, Negan found that he was shaking slightly. For once he didn’t believe it was due to fear. 

“Try not to worry about it Casey,” said an older looking blonde Omega to the one that had just gotten groped. 

Negan couldn’t help noticing how red Casey’s face had become, and her breathing had definitely picked up. 

“She should worry about it,” Negan spoke up aggressively, causing both women to take notice of their next customer. “Fucking assholes can’t treat you like that.”

“What world are you living in?” the blonde asked. 

“The one where I have a better group of people surrounding me,” he muttered. He offered up his bowl as images of Alexandria shadowed his mind. Along with such thoughts, Lucy and Jake’s little faces came up. His heart twisted just thinking about them. 

He was brought back to the present as the blonde poured a chunky beef stew into his bowl that didn’t look all that appealing.

“Really? No burgers, not even a pizza on the menu today? What kind of restaurant are you running here?”

“The only restaurant we got. I’d take it if I were you, especially given your, condition.”

Negan smiled sadly and dropped his eyes to his bump.

“Well I guess I’ll just have to get to work on building you guys a Pizza Hut. Maybe I’ll have it by tomorrow.”

He was pleased to hear a small giggle from Casey. As he met her eyes, he could see they were shining with gratitude for the simple joke.

Once he settled at one of the tables off to the side to enjoy his meal, his pleasure at having cheered the Omega up died down. The _thunk_ of the bowl hitting the surface brought him back to the reality of his situation. There was little to joke about. He curled his fingers into fists and tried to blink back the wetness that threatened to take over his eyes. There was a chance he might not see Lucy and Jake again. He could see them crying, Lucy curled up on her bed while being held by her brother. Carl wouldn’t be enough for them, nor would any other member. Their parents were gone as far as they were concerned. 

A little kick made him choke up, and he quickly wiped a tear that started to fall. The hair on the back of his neck was on end since he could feel so many eyes upon him. He couldn’t afford to shed a tear for his pups. He would appear too vulnerable. 

“What are you hoping for?” Negan looked up as Casey sat down next to him with her own bowl of stew. “Boy or girl?”

“I bet he wants a boy.” It was the blonde Omega who settled down in front of him. “Name’s Kat.”

She offered her hand which Negan shook.

“Negan.”

She smiled at him then beckoned to someone behind him. He turned to see two other Omegas making their way to his table. One was an olive skinned female with big eyes while the other was a nervous looking brunette male.

“That’s Angel and Ned,” she stated as they sat down. 

Negan nodded at them as they seemed to form a circle around him. 

“I didn’t think this kind of thing would be allowed,” Negan said after looking around at them all.

“We’re allowed friends,” said Angel.

“And it looks like you could use one,” said Kat.

“Thought you had an army to feed in your elaborate kitchen over there.”

“Our shift’s over,” Casey explained. 

“So you get to chug down what you served up. Lucky you.” He lifted up a spoonful of stew then let it plop back down into the bowl after making a face. It was flat and didn’t exactly taste fresh.

“Hey, this is good cooking if I do say so myself,” said Kat. “But right now we’re on the subject of you. Like Casey asked, what’re you hoping for?”

Negan shrugged as a small smile played across his lips. To be honest, he liked the idea of it being a boy simply so it could be named after him. But he’d be just as happy to have a girl like Lucy as well.

“Doesn’t matter. Just as long as it’s as pretty as me.” He twitched as he felt his pup kick, as if reacting to his comment.

Ned chuckled then twiddled his fingers.

“I always hoped to have a pup,” he said softly without meeting his eyes. “I think I would’ve liked a son.”

“Can I feel?” Angel asked.

He tensed up, but then relaxed when he saw the look of hope on her face. The Omegas clearly had few joys in their lives, and this was a small thing to ask for. He turned sideways in his seat and left his belly accessible. Angel gave a little cry of glee before hurrying over and lowering her hand down gently. Silence fell as they all waited for the inevitable thump. When it happened, she squealed with delight. The others laughed softly in response. Negan couldn’t help smiling at their delight, and for the first time since he arrived, he felt a small sense of relief.

 

That evening, Negan gave into his tiredness by snoozing away in the room he’d been given. Just before he could fall into a somewhat comforting deep sleep, the door was thrown open. He stirred and opened his eyes slowly. He could make out Chris’s leering face.

“It’s time,” he announced jovially. 

Coming up behind him was Jimmy who also looked quite pleased about something. Negan rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he tried to make sense of what was happening.

“Time for fucking what?” he grumbled. He gasped as he was suddenly yanked up and put onto his feet by Chris. 

“Time for you to really become a part of this pack,” Jimmy explained.

Negan shifted his gaze between the two as his brain slowly worked out what he could be talking about. His eyes widened as Chris tightly gripped his shoulders and forcibly guided him toward the door. 

“No…no, you don’t have to fucking do this!”

“How else can you call yourself Terry’s Omega?” Chris questioned.

“I don’t call myself his Omega!”

Of course they didn’t care. He put up a struggle anyway, pulling against the Beta’s grip.

“Give it a rest. You’ll just tire yourself out,” said Jimmy.

That didn’t stop Negan from fighting. What did end up stopping him was the sight that greeted him once he was forced over the threshold. 

The whole pack was present, forming a standing audience that was parted. Chris pulled Negan to the path centered between the people, and waiting at the other end was Terry. Even at a distance Negan was able to see the lust expressed on his face. He couldn’t help feeling the need to hunch down as the dark eyes bore into his own.

“Please,” he begged as he dropped his eyes to the ground. “Don’t do this.”

Chris ignored him as he just maneuvered him down the path. Negan dug his heels in, but the Beta wasn’t bothered at all. From the watching crowd, the Betas and Alphas laughed softly or made growls of interest. 

“Don’t do this…don’t do this!”

He struggled harder, clawing at Chris’s arm and doing his best to buck his head back into him. Such actions only earned more laughter from the crowd. However, there was a group that wasn’t finding any joy in the upcoming ritual. Grouped at the end of the crowd closest to Terry were all the Omegas. Negan fell limp against Chris as he caught their faces, particularly of the ones he’d had lunch with hours earlier. They were pitying him. Not one, not even Kat, was able to give him a look of any kind of confidence. It was nothing but sorrow in their eyes. There were some Omegas that couldn’t even look at him. He caught sight of Sherry, and to his surprise, she appeared to be genuinely sorry for his predicament. Negan struggled hard to stay in place just so he could try and signal for her to help him. If there was anyone he trusted to save him now it was her. But soon her eyes fell and Chris was giving him a hard push forward.

“There’s my sweetheart.”

Negan snapped his head around at the sound of Terry’s voice. Without really realizing it, he was being held before the pack’s Alpha. Negan let his eyes drift behind the man where a couple of men he assumed were his lieutenants stood, and just to the left of them was Emma, standing with her arms folded and featuring a strong scowl.

“Ready to truly become mine sweet thing?” Terry asked saucily. 

Negan was shaking his head slowly.

“I’m…I’m already yours. I agreed to be your Omega and live in your pack. There’s no reason to go this far.”

Terry was smirking as if he’d told a joke.

“You are a funny one.” He took a step toward him. Negan attempted to jump back, but couldn’t since Chris was acting as a wall behind him. “Just because the world changed doesn’t mean I’m adopting a new way to claim an Omega. Besides that I did say I would be getting rid of your old Alpha’s stench on you, and there’s only one way to do it.”

“No, no…no.”

The quiet pleading did nothing. Chris pushed him forward and stepped back once Terry was in reach. Negan made an attempt to maneuver away, but was easily grabbed by the neck. He groaned as he pushed hard at the Alpha’s arm. He choked up, not from pain, but from the intense emotions that had him wavering unsteadily on the spot.

This wasn’t happening. He had not risked traveling out into the dark world just for another Alpha to officially claim him. The venture had been about Rick Grimes. Rick, the prick who had come to be someone important to him. A man who went out of his way to keep him alive, and give him the opportunity to experience motherhood. Terry was about to take him away. He would bite him and undo something Rick had worked so hard to establish between them. 

Rick would be gone, and he would belong…to Terry.

“NNOOOOO! NO! FUCKING…”

Terry yanked his head down. Negan was better restrained in place with Chris and the heavyset black Beta holding his arms and pressing into his body. His weak motions did nothing to deter Terry from hovering so close to his gland. His breath was tickling it, making him squirm. Terry was exhibiting a strong aura of excitement that he himself had possessed as an Alpha eager to claim…and fuck. 

“STOP THIS…stop…you…you don’t have to…” The tears were starting to stream in anticipation as his whole body began to shake hard.

“Shush now pretty thing,” Terry said gently, as if he were comforting a pup. “It’ll all be over before you know it, and I promise to be one hell of an Alpha to you, so long as you promise to be, a hell of a fuck.”

“NO!....NO!...I’m Rick’s…I’m-”

In a flash Terry sunk his teeth into the gland, and in an instant Negan was screaming as if his life was literally ending. His whole body seized up soon enough, putting an end to his cry. There was pain, but more than that there was the overwhelming pheromones of the Alpha seeping in. He tried to move enough to dislodge him, but he was only able to do so for a few seconds. After that his body froze up, as all Omega’s bodies did whenever an Alpha claimed them. The world dipped and swirled sickeningly in Negan’s eyes as his Omega core fell into the process of accepting a new Alpha to rule over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With the sequel, it's taking up a notch where Negan's actually claimed by another. Something he avoided from the first story upon running into another pack. I considered there being more time before it happened, but decided to get right to it, also considering Terry, he's ready to claim new Omegas almost as fast as Negan had back in the day.   
> Sadly Negan's 'bond' is severed from Rick...and sadly it won't get any easier for Negan.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan deals with the fact that he has a new Alpha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to say, it still won't get any easier for Negan.

Negan was barely aware of the way his body dragged across the ground as two strong arms moved him from the spot of that horrible pain. The world kept fading in and out. There was an annoying throb on his gland and a terrible numbness clouding over him. He whined miserably as he forced himself to focus on where Chris and Jimmy were taking him. From what he could make out, they were taking him to a set of stairs.

“Pick your feet up, damn Omega,” Chris cursed as he hauled him up roughly. 

Negan groaned in response and paid better attention to where he was climbing. He briefly recalled Sherry mentioning what members were on the top floor of the motel. He tensed and tried to pull back, but he was much too weak.

“No…no,” he moaned. He understood they were taking him to Terry’s room; his new Alpha’s room. “No! He’s not…not…”

Neither Chris nor Jimmy cared about his mutterings. They continued onto their leader’s room. Once opened, he was tossed unceremoniously upon the bed. 

“You’re the luckiest Omega in this place,” said Jimmy. “As Terry’s Omega, you’ll only get the best, in everything.”

With trembling hands, Negan adjusted himself across the bed. His legs wobbled like jelly as he used them to turn around to face the men.

“Please,” he begged softly. With a hand on his belly, he hoped to convey the message without words. Often times newly claimed Omegas were fucked on the same day. He couldn’t let that happen in his state.

But Chris just chuckled.

“What Terry does to you tonight is up to him. Stay put now.”

When he and Jimmy exited the room, Negan released a strangled cry. The silence that followed forced him to truly take in everything that had just happened. He had been claimed…claimed! It didn’t even matter that Rick had taken him first. This new bastard had come along and overwritten the mark. Rick Grimes was out and Terry was in. 

Negan choked as he sat up and slowly reached back to feel the now tender gland. His nose wrinkled with disgust at the new scent wafting from it. Rick Grimes wasn’t there now; he was a memory to his mind, and no longer one with his body. The latter would be especially true once Terry knotted him, and the thought alone had him shuttering. He shut his eyes and dropped his hand slowly. If he ever managed to escape, he couldn’t imagine what he’d say to Rick. There was no way to explain without destroying him as well as his family.

“I’m sorry Rick,” he sobbed quietly. “I’m sorry…I…I fucked up.”

He fell onto the bed as his stomach seemed to twist violently. A few kicks alerted him to the fact that his unborn pup had sensed a change, but aside from that he was feeling oddly nauseous. 

“Fuck.”

He clutched his stomach and curled up as best he could on his side. Everything was wrong. Everything was turning. Darkness was spreading from the inside out and Negan felt it was only a matter of time before he disappeared within it.

The door opened slowly. Negan was very much aware of Terry’s presence as he could catch his scent much easier now. 

“Fuck.”

“I see you’ve made yourself comfy,” Terry said in a silky voice that made him cringe.

Since Negan’s back was facing the door, he didn’t bother to turn and face Terry. He just remained how he was, staring at the wall ahead and clutching himself. When he heard the door close, his breathing picked up.

“You and I, are completely legal now, which means-”

“Please,” Negan suddenly begged, “please don’t…I’m pregnant. I can’t…can’t take…”

He didn’t want to say the word aloud, nor any words that referred to the obvious act. Terry didn’t say anything right away, and it only served to raise Negan’s anxiousness.

“You should be able to take it, even if you’re carrying. It’s not like your hole is fucking plugged. Then again, it might be uncomfortable for you, and the last thing I want is for you to be in distress.” He paused and hummed thoughtfully. “That pup is just in the way right now isn’t it.”

As fast as he was able to, Negan rose to a sitting position and faced him with wide, frightened eyes as an alarm blared in his head from Terry’s last words.

“No please…please don’t Terry. Don’t hurt my pup. Don’t kill…it doesn’t matter that it’s…it’ll be yours now.”

Terry was walking toward him now, appearing to be an Alpha with no ill intentions. The smile was soft and his eyes shined with love. He cupped the sides of Negan’s face and massaged his cheeks gently. 

“Oh don’t be so silly sweetheart. You really think I would kill your pup?” Negan opened his mouth to respond, but closed it again. “We need pups to make it. I’d be doing a disservice to this pack if I got rid of it. Besides, what kind of monster would?”

Negan refrained from answering so as to avoid possibly giving him second thoughts. There were Alphas out there that wouldn’t stand for their newly claimed Omegas carrying another Alpha’s pup. Said Alpha wouldn’t want his Omega to have any trace of the old Alpha, and such a pup would be a huge trace and a constant reminder to the Omega of his or her old partner. He wanted to breathe a sigh of relief at his pup being spared, but he wasn’t yet ready to believe that the pup was out of danger. 

“T-thank you, Alpha.”

His massaging fingers came to a stop, then pulled his face forward. Terry’s eyes closed as he pressed his lips against Negan’s. The Omega went rigid and squeaked in shock. Terry didn’t seem to mind. He just moaned in pleasure and kept their lips locked. Negan’s stomach rolled at the feeling of passion flowing through the man’s lips. 

“No. Thank you precious.” He grinned and ran a single finger down the side of the whimpering Omega’s face. “I can just imagine how good the rest of you tastes if that was any indication.”

“Please, you agreed it’d be too uncomfortable for me and it fucking would. I don’t want to…you claimed me. Isn’t that enough right now, Alpha?”

Terry cocked his head like a curious puppy as he observed him.

“I think knotting would be too uncomfortable, but that doesn’t mean anything else would.”

A second later, Terry was ghosting his fingers through his hair.

“You’re all mine now,” he said as he gave him what Negan could only describe as a wicked grin. “No one else is gonna put their paws all over you. And of course, as my personal property, you’ll receive only the best. Anything you want, you’ll have.”

Negan was very tempted to tell him that what he wanted most was freedom, but he didn’t want to push it with the Alpha. Instead, he held as still as possible while Terry petted him. 

“What I’d like now is, is sleep. The claiming tired me out, and…”

He jumped as he felt fingers sliding into the band of his pants. Instinctively he didn’t pull away as Terry had every right to touch him now, but Negan was able to go against the bond rules and jerk away. Terry gave a warning growl and pulled him close.

“S-sorry Alpha.” Negan dropped his head in submission, hoping it would be enough. “I’m…I’m yours now. I know I’m yours.”

“Ssshh.” The fingers that were running gently in his hair shifted to run gently along his cheek. “I understand precious. It hasn’t quite sunken into that beautiful head of yours that you have a new lover now. But tomorrow, you will know who I am, won’t you.”

He wasn’t asking, he was stating it as his only choice. Negan swallowed and nodded.

“Yes Alpha.”

The fingers explored his hidden crotch, sending horrible goosebumps across his thighs. It didn’t feel good since it wasn’t Rick’s doing. Terry took it to the next step by nuzzling into his gland. His lips clamped on to suckle and nip. Negan was compelled to pretend it was Rick just so he could make it through this moment without completely falling apart, but it was just too sickening. His stomach was lurching and if Terry didn’t stop soon, he was sure he’d vomit, which would be a great offense to his new Alpha.

“Please Alpha…I’d like to sleep. I think that will help me.”

Terry moaned softly after rubbing his cheeks against his gland. Once he covered it nicely with his scent, he went back for another kiss on his lips and further fingering. Suddenly he jolted and stopped.

“The hell?” Terry muttered as he removed his fingers. “Either I’m missing my mark, or you’re missing two important things that makes you a man.”

Negan stopped breathing and froze up. 

“Stand up.” Terry offered a hand, which Negan took, and got to his feet. He knew what was coming next before he even asked. “Drop them baby.”

Instead of making the move to do so, Negan gripped his pants protectively.

“Alpha, please I-”

“I’m going to see your ass at some point love, so there’s no point in being shy now. Do as I ask. I really hate repeating myself.”

With a heavy swallow, Negan followed the command. Down went his pants, followed by his underwear. His cheeks couldn’t have been hotter. Negan watched a curious grin stretch across his face before dropping his eyes. If Terry ordered him to meet his eyes, he wouldn’t be able to do it; not when he was naked from the waist down. He would just have to take whatever punishment that would be in store for him. There was nothing more humiliating at this point. His face burned at the shattering of his privacy and the cold intrusion into something so personal. Only Rick had the right to see him this way, particularly after what had been done to him down below.

When Terry got to his feet, Negan jolted so badly he ran into the dresser behind him.

“Careful darling. I don’t want you damaging that beautiful body. Just stand still. All I wanna do is see.”

It took everything Negan had left of his sanity to stay in place for his new Alpha’s inspection. There was no controlling the trembling, and it only worsened when his new Alpha began to weave his fingers between his legs. He braced himself as best he could for the reaction, but there was no bracing for it. Terry might laugh or call him names. It was something he shouldn’t care about, yet the idea of it felt just as worse as his touches.

“Jesus lord,” he whispered. Terry rose his eyes to catch Negan’s gaze, but he refused to look down. All Negan could do was shut his own eyes. “You don’t have any balls. What the fuck happened?”

He didn’t sound as if he was mocking him. All he sounded was curious. 

“My Alpha,” Negan answered simply. 

“Why?”

Negan looked at him then as he quickly fabricated an answer. He didn’t want to admit that Rick had done it as a form of punishment and to ease down his aggressiveness least it give Terry any ideas or fears of what he’d be like as a bonded Omega.

“Thought I’d look better without them. My, Alpha liked male Omegas, but not their damn balls.”

Terry slowly rose to his feet all while keeping his eyes on Negan. He had no idea what to expect, or what the Alpha leader was thinking. Then to his surprise, Terry pulled him into a tight hug. 

“Shit…shit…goddamn it. You poor sweetheart. I can’t imagine anyone doing that kind of shit to someone as beautiful as you. Real fucked up thing for your ex to do, not to mention it was a dumbass move. How could he think you’d look better?”

Negan just allowed the hug while his brain reeled. He was baffled by how sorry the man sounded. Terry pulled away and ran a finger down his cheek lovingly.

“What was his name?”

The Omega trembled just a little harder as the warning growls erupted from the Alpha’s throat; as the eyes flashed dangerously. He’d kill Rick if he got a whiff of who and where he was.

“Doesn’t…matter. You’re my Alpha now. You Terry.” The man continued to growl, yet he seemed to be contemplating moving away from the subject. Negan added more to push him into letting it go. “Unless you don’t want me anymore. Maybe I’m not beautiful to you anymore.”

“Oh no no no Negan. You are still beautiful to me.” Terry grabbed his cheeks and gave him a loving kiss. “Don’t ever think that you’re not.” With a bowed head, Negan nodded. “And you know, you’re right. It don’t matter about the name, because you’re mine, and I’m gonna see to it that nothing like that shit ever happens again.”

“T-thank you Alpha.”

Terry smiled and glanced down at his body.

“But you know, it is a little funny. A ball-less Omega. Never had that shit before.” 

The soft laughter that followed the previous growls had Negan squirming. He really didn’t have to laugh about it, especially since he was standing right there. It was a struggle for Negan not to sink to the floor in shame.

“Well, we’ve had a night. Why don’t you go ahead and get that rest. I’ll be back later.”

All Negan could do was nod with his mouth tightly shut. Terry leaned in to give one last kiss to his forehead. After that, he chuckled again before leaving the room.

Almost violently, Negan exhaled a painful breath that knocked the last of his strength out of him. His body gave out and sunk to the floor, no longer able to hold back the horror he’d experienced moments ago. He wanted to cry. He was in the right mindset to do so, but he willed the need aside. He ran his hands over his face as his instincts repeatedly asked him what to do next.

 

Sometime later the door slowly opened. Negan didn’t even flinch. He simply sat in the same hunched over position on the floor against the wall. He wasn’t sure he could feel anything anymore. He’d been stripped and pieces of him were taken away, leaving nothing but a nasty pain that wasn’t really there, but at the same time was.

“Negan?” called a soft voice.

He couldn’t respond. His head just hung as whoever had entered padded over to him. He barely registered a soft warm hand grabbing his arm, but he allowed it to inspire him to rise shakily to his feet. Wordlessly the stranger walked him over to the bed. He didn’t protest when the person gently laid him upon it.

The person walked away, and it was then that Negan managed enough strength and interest to look up to see the visitor. He wasn’t surprised to see that it was Sherry. She was walking back toward him with a bottle in her hand. Because of the darkness of the room, he couldn’t quite read her face.

“Drink,” she requested gently.

“Not thirsty,” he groaned.

Sherry accepted the answer and set the bottle aside while Negan just stared at her. It was like she was some kind of light that had edged its way into the darkness clouding him.

“Then rest. It’s the only other way you’ll make it.”

As she turned away, Negan snatched onto her arm.

“I can’t,” he admitted in a broken voice. The eyes were watering, but he could care less. “I can’t make it. Not after this.”

Sherry held his eyes as she leaned in close. With great hesitation, she laid a hand atop his head.

“You have to. For your pup’s sake.”

Slowly she released his hand from her arm, then silently left the room. Negan just stared as the horrible hollowness and darkness overtook him from the vanishing light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank goodness, at least, that Negan was pregnant as it saved him from getting knotted.   
> Sherry might be the only small form of comfort he can get for a while


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan experiences pain, which results in the worst thing happening

He awoke to the kind of pain he hoped he wouldn’t be feeling. Any other form of pain would be better than the uncomfortable twists in his belly. Negan groaned and dropped a hand over it. 

“Don’t do this to me,” he begged quietly. If there was one thing he didn’t need right now, it was an issue with his unborn pup.

He opened his eyes and saw the wall of the familiar room. A wave of depression hit him then because he hoped it had just been a nightmare. How could such a horrible thing have been real? It didn’t seem possible, but his senses told him otherwise. He wasn’t Rick’s anymore and that’s just how it was now. And the pup, he or she would be…

He didn’t even want to put the name in his mind. He couldn’t imagine that a new father would watch over it. 

“Aahh.” 

He hissed as the pain increased for a few minutes before ceasing. It hadn’t been a contraction. He was sure of that much. He was just so consumed by sorrow that it was literally affecting the child. People could make themselves sick easily with horrible thoughts, so that’s all it was.

“Sorry sweetheart. I really need to get my shit together for your sake.”

He raised himself up gently on the bed, then looked to his side. He was relieved to see that Terry wasn’t there, but he could tell the man had slept next to him during the night. The only thing good about that was that Terry hadn’t tried anything. So long as the pup remained within him, he imagined he was safe from penetration. The only question was if his pup was really safe. With that thought in mind, his instincts screamed at him to escape, but then it slipped away as his instincts next told him his duty was to remain by his new Alpha’s side. It told him Terry would not hurt it, just like he promised. It had always been natural to sink into his instincts, but in this case he questioned them hard.

The door opened, making Negan jump and look around. He felt a little relief to see that it wasn’t Terry, but he wasn’t exactly pleased to see it was his main Omega.

Emma stood in the doorway and just stared at him with an expression that wasn’t exactly good. Her eyes dropped from his face to his belly, and then she pulled up a smile.

“So, looks like I’m out. You’re Terry’s new bitch.”

She didn’t appear bothered by it, but Negan could tell she was miffed. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I’m not trying to, take your place. Terry wanted-”

“I know what Terry wants,” she hissed dangerously. “Terry _wants_ all the time. He’s not into sticking with the original.”

She tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder and waltzed into the room. Though she was an Omega, Negan tensed up and moved back fearfully.

“You don’t have to worry darling.” Her smile grew and Negan didn’t like it at all. “I’m not gonna hurt you. I can’t, since your Terry’s. Goddamn if I don’t hate that sentence. I don’t know what the fuck he sees in you.”

She plopped right on the bed next to him. Negan resisted the urge to move further away.

“If you want him so bad, why don’t you just talk to him?”

At that she laughed, and there was something about it that made her look deranged.

“Talk? Yeah sure. Terry’s always into a newer model. I’m supposed to be his true Omega. That’s what he always says. I’ll always be his _true_ Omega no matter how many new asses take my place in his bed.” It was then that Negan became familiar with her long fingernails as she grabbed his chin sharply and forced him to maintain eye contact with her. “Sooner or later, your ass is getting replaced when the next model strolls in. Or maybe after you shed that pup.”

A tingle of fear shot down his spine with her even saying the word pup.

“Terry said he wouldn’t, kill it.”

“And he won’t.” She paused as her eyes dropped to his belly, and again Negan didn’t like the look on her face. “Once that pup’s out of you, you’ll be his, fully. And the pup, well, there’s many Omegas that’ll be happy to look after it for you.”

Negan paled and stared back at her, wide-eyed. Without really realizing it, he was shaking his head.

“No…no, this pup is mine. I have to look after it. I’m its mother. I-”

“Oh relax,” she said with a chuckle. “I meant we’d be happy to pupsit for you. Or rather I would. As I’m Terry’s true Omega, I’m practically second in command, so it would fall to me to take up the majority of pupsitting. Trust me, you’d prefer me to the damn chatters. If Terry was heartless about it, that’s where it would end up.”

Negan quirked a curious brow at the word ‘chatters’, but his thoughts shifted to disgust as her fingers left his chin and ran over his belly. Negan Twitched sharply as another shot of pain struck the area and he couldn’t help gasping.

“Oh Jesus I barely touched you, crybaby.”

Emma pulled away and got to her feet. She crossed over to the door, but stopped to glance back at him.

“Take good care of yourself honey. I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to that, precious bundle.”

Once she left, Negan gave into the mounting pain by panting and groaning loudly. He encircled his arms around his throbbing belly with his eyes shut from the feeling of it. 

“What’s happening? What the hell’s…happening?”

 

The pain settled eventually; at least enough for him to join Sherry in washing a load of dishes for the cooking staff. They were currently hovered over the kitchenette sink in one of the rooms that was specifically used for housing all the dishes, items, and food. Since there were so many to wash, Terry had instructed Negan to help. Negan saw it as a good distraction, while at the same time it did nothing to completely quiet his belly. He tried to keep a groan or two of pain from escaping his lips as the last thing he wanted to do was draw attention. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Sherry glancing at him curiously every now and then. He wiped an arm across his brow and just focused on rinsing and stacking.

“Are you alright?” Sherry finally decided to ask. 

He looked at her and saw the lack of concern on her face.

“Fine,” he growled. When he went to grab a soapy cup out of her hand, she tensed as their skin made contact. Negan wished he hadn’t felt hurt by her reaction. Sherry was the only familiar face in a sea of terror, and he truly hoped he could lean on her as things became more difficult. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

It couldn’t have been more awkward now. Negan glanced at her and was sorry to see a clear cold shoulder from the stiffness of her body. 

“It’s not fine. I’m not.” When she said nothing in response, he decided to shift the subject from himself. “That Emma chick’s something. You were right to tell me to be careful around her, but I think I have to be careful for another reason entirely. She seems pretty damn interested in my pup.”

“Of course she would be,” she said flatly. “She can’t have pups of her own, so a pregnant Omega’s a delight to her.”

“No shit? Guess telling her paws off is a bad idea.” He turned to her, but she continued to ignore him. The humor fell from his face as he continued. “She says she’s still tight with Terry. Is it true?”

Sherry set a plate aside and turned to him at last.

“It’s hard to tell, but don’t try anything with her. If you do it’ll get back to Terry.”

“I have no doubt.”

Awkward silence settled over them and would have stayed had Negan not remembered another point in Emma’s visit.

“Hey Sher, what the hell are chatters? Emma was telling me I should be glad my pup won’t end up with them.”

A look of unease crossed her features before it dropped back to her flat expression.

“She meant the dead.”

“Oh? Never heard that label before.”

“Actually, there’s more to it than that.” She appeared to be trying to decide whether or not to explain further. “The pack members here, for the most part, are fairly sane, but not when it comes to what they call chatters. They think there’s a group of dead out there that talk.”

“Talk?”

“Yeah, in whispers.” She gave a light laugh, showing just how ridiculous she thought it was. “They’re supposed to live nearby. I’ve never seen, nor heard them, but it’s common knowledge that Terry’s made some kind of deal with them so they don’t attack us. If someone gets exiled, they say they’re taken to the chatters to become one of them. Such bullshit, but I wouldn’t worry about it, so long as you keep your head down.”

She handed him a dish, but Negan was currently frozen in place.

“Hey, you alright?”

“Huh...Oh yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” 

He grabbed the dish, but his thoughts were still on these so called chatters. He couldn’t help thinking back to the moment where he thought he had heard voices, actual understandable voices that weren’t growls, coming from the walkers before finding Ralph’s hideaway house. It was supposed to be a sign of fatigue; his mind playing tricks on him. But now it seemed there were others who were supposedly hearing the same thing. He wanted to believe it was all bullshit, but his gut was telling him otherwise.

He hissed sharply, nearly dropping a plate from his hand as he doubled over.

“What’s wrong?” Sherry asked as she set some silverware aside and turned to him.

“I don’t…I don’t…fuck…”

The pain in his belly was starting to increase in a sickening way. His body trembled ever so slightly, but there was something about it that unsettled him.

 

“Can I come too?”

Michonne, who was heading out the door of the Grimes’s house, looked back at Carl. At the moment she was heading to a meeting in a church which consisted of the community leaders and a small few to discuss the next step in the matter of the disappearance of Rick Grimes. Search parties had come to a standstill for not only him, but Negan as well. 

“I’m afraid it’ll be pretty boring,” she replied, hoping to play it off in a light manner. Carl, however, wasn’t falling for it.

“Boring or not, I need to be there. What if they talk about stopping the search completely?”

“No one’s going to request a stop to the search. They want to find Rick and Negan just as much as you do.”

“You mean they’ll want to find my dad more,” Carl grumbled. He folded his arms and challenged her to deny this. 

All Michonne could do was sigh. She wasn’t exactly sure how to argue it. She had organized groups to find the pregnant Omega, but she sensed their frustration in dealing with Negan. Rick, the Alpha leader, had become more of a priority in their minds, or so she believed.

“I don’t want that to be true, but regardless, I’m going to remind them why finding Negan is just as important as finding Rick.”

Carl fidgeted from one foot to the other and dropped his eyes. 

“This isn’t just about trying to find my dad is it? You’re going to talk about what to do if he never comes back.”

She placed a hand on his shoulder and forced herself to meet his eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was lie, especially when he was sharp enough to see through it. 

“It’s not a reality I want to face, and it doesn’t matter how long he’s gone. I’m not giving up on him or Negan. But, the allied packs need to know what happens if he’s gone too long.”

The teen didn’t appear satisfied, but nodded nonetheless. She gave him a smile before turning away. The smile fell as she made her way to the church. She barely noticed Aaron jogging up beside her.

“How do you think it’s gonna go?” he asked.

“I don’t know. It feels too soon to have a meeting like this. Why not wait?”

“Maybe it’s not what we think. Maybe something new has come up to help us.”

Michonne held onto that idea. Anything would be better than having nothing to go on, and for too long they’ve had nothing to go on.

 

Negan couldn’t hold back a pained cry as he grabbed his bulge and fell against the counter of the sink. Sherry was barely able to get a hold of him before he slipped to the floor.

“What’s happening? Is it the pup?” she cried.

He shut his eyes tight as another wave of pain hit him and shook his head.

“No…it can’t be.” 

He refused to believe that his due date had been on the horizon even though he had left Alexandria knowing how close he was. After having gone through so much since then, he hadn’t given it much thought. He had always counted on being far away from Terry’s tribe and back in Alexandria with Rick before the big event took place. 

“Are you sure?”

He couldn’t respond as he was too busy breathing deeply.

“These aren’t contractions…these aren’t contractions,” he told himself sternly. He tried to distract himself with the feel of Sherry’s hands supporting him. It was much better then falling apart at what could not be happening right now. “Just…help me to a…aahhh…chair. I’ll be…”

He trailed off as he felt a familiar wetness pool below before running down the sides of his legs. Negan stopped breathing then. The room was silent as his body shook and his face went white. Beside him Sherry had an intake of air. Negan dropped his head to look down at the watery mess and was able to force out one word.

“No.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The worst has happened! Negan's going into labor!!!


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The worst time for Negan to give birth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty rough and intense moment for Negan :(

The nightmare had started the minute Negan had been brought into Terry’s territory. Ever since the Alpha had given him a lustful look, he had been given a taste of his own medicine from the past. He put up with chores until the worse day of his life came about in the form of being claimed by Terry. Nothing had topped it. Nothing had been as petrifying, until now.

“No.”

He shook his head, refusing to believe his luck would get this bad. He was supposed to have escaped from Terry and get back to Rick before such a thing would happen, which was why it was impossible that his water had broken signaling the pup’s arrival.

“Negan, you need to…you need to sit down on the bed.”

Her hand wrapped around his arms so as to guide him, but he pushed one away. There was no need for it because he would be fine. If he laid down, the pup would no doubt come right along.

“No…I’ll be fine in a minute. Just need to, catch my damn breath.”

“No you’re not fine, you’re having your pup!”

“NO!”

He gave her the hardest glare he could muster, but he wasn’t sure she could comprehend it as she looked so frazzled. The Sherry he’d known, or thought he’d known, had always seemed so calm and cool. He needed her to be calm and cool now.

“Negan,” she sighed as she looked around frantically for any sudden form of help. “Please. Let me get you to the bed. You need it.” It didn’t take long for him to allow her to lead him over to the bed which was just a mattress on the floor since no one slept in the room. “Maybe I can grab Kat or Sue.”

“No, you need to help me,” he pleaded.

“I am. I’m trying.”

“No! You need to…help me get the fuck out of here. Help me escape.”

Sherry stopped, and in turn made Negan stop in their trek to the bed.

“Escape?” She looked stunned and he didn’t blame her one bit.

“I’m not supposed to have it here…I can’t,” he choked. “I can’t so we have to fucking go now!” 

He folded over and clutched his belly as a wail slipped from his throat. He barely noticed how badly he was shaking as his body seemed to heat up in addition to the horrible pain. 

“Are you crazy? You can’t make it out there like this!”

“I gotta fucking try!” he growled. “Terry can’t…can’t know…shit!”

His legs threatened to collapse, but with Sherry’s help he managed to right himself. It didn’t last as his knees shook. The room spun badly for an instant, and with a cry he was falling onto the mattress. Sherry had done her best to cushion his fall. He rolled into a seated position as tears streamed from his eyes. His first experience with contractions had been bad, but he didn’t recall it being this horrible. His fingers were clutching hard at his chest as he panted heavily. His skin just felt so hot. If he could climb out of it for a second, he wouldn’t hesitate to do so.

“Negan.”

It was almost a struggle for him to just raise his head and look at her. He knew he must be bad off considering how alarmed she looked. She really looked like she was concerned about him, but he’d learned the hard way that she never cared for him. She had been his property when he was an Alpha and nothing more. Negan had always favored her; hell, even loved her, but it was never reciprocated on her part. He hadn’t cared. He had lied to himself to see it the way he wanted without ever considering her feelings. The same had been done with his other Omegas. 

His face crumbled and a few more tears rolled down his cheeks. He could just imagine how pathetic he looked in her eyes when he had always been a strong symbol of power.

“I’m sorry.” He wasn’t quite sure if he was apologizing for her having to see him like this, or for the way he treated her in the past. As her expression softened and his chest tightened, he understood it was the latter.

“Negan, don’t do this now.”

“No, I have to. I’m fucking sorry for what I did to you. I didn’t…” he stopped and hissed sharply in preparation for another wave of pain. “I didn’t see it, as a damn Alpha. I see it as a fucking Omega.”

Sherry dropped her head.

“And because of Terry,” she whispered.

There was a fair point in her words, and he couldn’t help nodding.

“Yeah, but not just him…goddamn this fucking pain.” He shut his eyes and just focused on breathing carefully. He tensed as warm fingers closed around his right hand. 

“Negan I have to grab help. Kat. She’ll know what to do.”

“No…don’t leave me,” he begged in a small voice. He latched onto her arm desperately. The simple notion of her walking away just for an instant was terrifying to him. 

“I have to. I can’t do this alone.”

She pried his fingers away and got to her feet. Negan made an attempt to grab her, but his pup decided to send him through a whirlwind of agony in that moment. He favored clutching his gut instead of reaching for her. 

“I’ll be back.”

“Sherry.” 

The world spun again before his eyes, and by the time things settled, she was already gone. A wail of despair echoed around the room as he dropped to his side. The sweat poured and dripped into an eye. His body was shaking, making him feel like he had acquired an intense fever which he could believe considering how hot he felt. However he was sure something else was going on; something he couldn’t quite pinpoint.

He shut his eyes and just tried to breathe slowly. Now wasn’t the time to give into the fear, so he summoned another thought to his head, which happened to be his ex-Alpha.

“Rick,” he pleaded quietly. He could almost see the man hovering over him with his face furrowed with worry as well as excitement. “Rrrriiiiccckkk.”

The tears that were falling now weren’t for the physical pain. He choked as he let himself linger on the man. Rick was supposed to be here for this moment. It was one of the biggest reasons why he’d gone out to find him in the first place. The birth of another pup was very important to him, and he didn’t deserve to miss it. 

But where was he? He had never found him. Instead he had failed and given the opportunity to another man. He shivered and sobbed in fear at the idea of Terry arriving to see what wasn’t his.

“Rick…I’m fucking sorry.”

He started to wonder if it was better that he’d never become Rick’s Omega. He’d screwed up so bad. He was a great disappointment; not a true Omega at all. 

“Fuck.”

Maybe he deserved the bad things that happened to him, but Rick didn’t deserve to be absence from the birth of his new son or daughter.

“Here! Hurry!” 

He jolted at the sound of Sherry’s shouts. The next thing he heard were several feet hurrying into the room. He almost couldn’t see his visitors clearly as everything was swimming before his eyes in a blurry fashion.

“Oh shit…this is it!” cried Terry. 

Negan gave another cry, and he wasn’t sure if it was from another wave of pain that had rolled through, or because the person he dreaded coming had made it in time.

“Get him to our room. Hurry.”

Negan could barely hold onto consciousness, but he was aware of a strong pair of hands grabbing him under the shoulders and lifting him up. He fought back the blackness and turned to see Chris on his right, and Terry’s black Beta heavyset guard he’d come to know as Bode.

“I don’t think it’s safe Terry.”

“I know what’s best for my damn Omega! I’M HIS ALPHA!”

Negan turned his attention straight ahead and saw Kat looking pale as she talked to Terry. Terry himself didn’t look particularly excited or nervous. If anything he just looked frustrated. Tiredly he turned away from the arguing pair and saw Sherry. She was standing against the wall just behind Terry and Kat. Her eyes were wide and wet as she mouthed the word “sorry” for Terry and the others getting wrapped up in his private affair. He could only assume she had caught Terry’s attention somehow when grabbing Kat. He shifted his eyes to the doorway and found Emma leaning against it with her eyes glued eagerly to his belly. There was no concern about the distress he was in which wasn’t surprising, and he was sure if she could, she would hurry over and rip the pup out of him before he had a chance to squeeze it out himself.

“Terry, look at him!” Kat argued. “He doesn’t look right. I don’t know if-”

“The pup’s going to make it!” Emma said with much conviction.

“It damn well is,” Terry agreed. 

He marched forward. Negan wasn’t prepared for the sloppy kiss he placed on his mouth after he grabbed his cheeks. All it served to do was threaten vomit to rise and worsen the sickening pain. 

“Don’t worry baby. Our pup’s gonna make it. It’s gonna make it, and so are you.” He turned to Chris and Bode. “HURRY!”

He was barely able to get his feet under him as Bode and Chris moved with fast steps toward the door.

“Nnooo,” Negan moaned, but his voice barely carried. He tried to ground his feet. He didn’t want to leave this room. 

“It’s okay sweetheart,” Terry said in a soothing voice. Negan tensed up as he felt his fingers brush across his back.

“No,” he whispered as blackness almost took him again. It wasn’t okay. None of it was. Terry was about to see something that wasn’t meant for him. It wasn’t meant for any of his people. 

He winced sharply as the sunlight blinded him as he was taken outside. It didn’t take long before various voices reached his ears. He blinked back the wetness of his eyes and through the blur he saw many pairs of eyes looking back at him. The community had come to a standstill as they watched and chatted with interest as he was moved past them.

“Oh god, is he having the pup?”

“Look at him. He doesn’t look good.”

“Terry looks happy.”

“Is it a boy or girl?”

Negan felt his breathing pick up as some of the members moved closed and tried to follow. In a moment of panic he struggled against his captors.

“Take it easy honey,” Terry soothed from behind him. “You can’t lose it now. People, back up! Give my Omega space!”

“Is he alright Terry?”

“Can I help?”

Negan managed one last pull against Bode before letting his body fall limp between him and Chris. He was just too weak and in too much pain to try and get away. It was futile anyway as he knew it was impossible to escape when his legs just wanted to crumble. Another wave of pain had him moaning sharply. 

“The pup’s gonna be fine,” Terry assured him. “Everything’s gonna be fine.”

In response Negan screamed wildly, alarming the people who were nearest. He didn’t care. In fact, he tried hard not to see them as they were, and instead imagined them as the people of Alexandria. His mind relaxed a little with a simple imagining. Yes, he was supposed to be surrounded by people like Michonne, and Gabriel, and Aaron. Carl was supposed to be by his side, not Chris, and Lucy and Jake would be bouncing on the heels of their feet before him. 

He smiled softly at the simple image, then turned to his left as the Alpha moved closer. That Alpha was supposed to be Rick Grimes. He was supposed to be smiling at him and assuring him that everything was going to be alright. He was going to have this pup and their family would grow wonderfully to four. The intense fever like pain would be gone, and there would be pure relief.

“Get him inside now!”

Negan blinked sluggishly and looked ahead to see his and Terry’s room coming up fast. Before he was even fully aware of what was happening, he was being maneuvered onto the large bed. 

“Okay, now fucking get out!”

“Terry Sherry called me to deliver-”

“OUT!”

Negan watched blankly as Terry grabbed Kat by the shoulders and practically threw her from the room. When he turned back around, Negan was amazed to see the sweat that was streaming down his face. 

“Chris, Bode, you too. Out. This is between me and my baby.”

Bode seemed eager to leave, yet Chris appeared uncertain and uncomfortable as he gave Negan a second look. In the end he followed the guard out. Terry paced erratically a few times as he breathed heavily. A few low growls escaped his lips.

“Okay Sherry you too,” he demanded. “Get out.”

It was just the thing to pop Negan up into alertness.

“No,” he cried. He knew Sherry hated him, but he couldn’t have the one familiar face leave his side.

“Terry, someone has to deliver the pup.” 

She looked willing to at least stay and try something.

“I’m delivering it,” Emma spoke up. 

She moved into view while dusting off her pants and focusing her attention on his belly. Negan shook his head wildly at this idea. There was no way she was getting anywhere near him or his pup.

“No…fuck no.”

“Calm down sweetheart, you’re getting too upset. Sherry I said leave. NOW!”

“Sherry don’t…don’t go…please don’t fucking go,” Negan begged. 

The tears were rolling hard. He couldn’t take anything that was happening to him right now, but he especially couldn’t take her leaving him alone with Terry and Emma of all people.

Sherry managed a step forward, her watery eyes locked onto Negan. Terry practically roared when another growl left his throat, which made the hairs on the back of both Sherry’s and his neck stand on end. She yelped as he harshly tightened a hand around her shoulder and closed in on her face.

“I said fucking leave.”

The tone was dangerously low and left no room for argument. Sherry looked ready to cry as she shook fearfully in his hold. Once he released her, she quickly stepped away, but her eyes shifted to Negan again.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sherry.”

She quickly turned, and Negan’s world turned into full-blown crisis mode.

“SHERRY!” He threw his head back as the hot white burn rolled down his spine and set fire to his belly. “FFFUUUUCCCKKKK!”

“Alright Terry. We gotta do this now,” said Emma.

“Y-yeah.”

He moved to the door and locked it before moving back to his original position. 

“No…no…not supposed to…be like this…” Negan moaned. He couldn’t stop another onslaught of tears as he flat out cried before the two pack leaders. He cried before strangers that he should never have had the misfortune to meet. He squirmed in a bed that wasn’t his own, in a room that shouldn’t have anything to do with him. “MICHONNE…CARL…RICK…” His heart broke as did the power in his voice. “Where the fuck are you Rick?”

“He’s delusional,” Emma said. 

“He’s having my goddamn pup! Get the fuck in there Em.”

Emma positioned herself between Negan’s legs and grabbed the ends of his pants. He jerked as best he could, but he was too weak to move his legs from her grip.

“No…no, don’t, please.”

“You can’t give birth with your pants on silly. Terry hold him down.”

With a cry, Negan attempted to slip off the bed before his Alpha could do any such thing, but the pain made him sluggish and beyond dazed. Terry was easily able to hold his arms down over his head. Once he was secured, Emma began pulling down his pants. With shaky gasps, Negan raised his eyes to Terry who hovered over him with a passionate smile. The Alpha dropped a long kiss down on his forehead then nuzzled his cheek.

“It’s gonna be alright baby. You’re gonna have this pup, and everything will be square between us. We’ll be able to get onto having several of our own.”

Negan jolted and shook his head.

“No, you promised you wouldn’t hurt it!”

“And I won’t, believe me I won’t,” Terry promised. “But I do want pups that share my blood. That’s only fair.”

He whimpered and tried raising his head as he felt Emma grip his ankles. There had been a sense of confidence about her, but now she looked a little flustered.

“Okay…okay. I think this is the part where you start pushing,” she said as she stared in awe at the spot where the pup would make its appearance. 

“YOU THINK!” Terry growled.

“OF COURSE I THINK! I’ve never done this shit before!”

“IT CAN’T BE THAT FUCKING HARD!”

“ _Then get Kat back in here if that’s what you think!_ ”

Their nostrils flared as they stared each other down. Terry turned away from her stare with a growl of frustration.

“Just do it already!”

Negan hissed as Emma’s fingers landed near his hole.

“Shit, your Omega doesn’t even have any balls,” she bothered stating.

“Don’t worry about that! Is the pup coming now or not?!”

“I need him to push!” she growled.

Everything was swimming in his eyes once more, but he was able to see Terry’s dark eyes gazing at him with a look of great concern. 

“Alright baby. You heard her. You’re gonna have to push.”

Negan was already shaking his head. He didn’t care that the pain was building to the point where he was sure the pup would burst from his belly as the flaming agony increased. He wasn’t supposed to give birth here. It was too dangerous for the pup. Once these people got their hands on it, he wasn’t sure he’d see it again.

“Yes sweetheart, you have to.”

Negan just shook his head and gasped for more air.

“I see the head!” Emma cried. “Oh god…oh god, oh god, OH GOD! PUSH!”

“PUSH!”

His body demanded the action as well. Even though everything was so hot, and by this point he was barely aware of his own body, he could tell the pup was in need of his help. The tears poured harder as Negan tried holding back just a little longer. Maybe if he held out, Rick would somehow show up. He wouldn’t have to miss this, and he would be with the Alpha that had become more of a friend to him than Terry. 

“PUSH!” Emma screamed.

Negan screamed as well as he could no longer hold out. Black dots flashed before his eyes as his lower body was engulfed by invisible flames. 

“That’s it! That’s it!” he heard Emma cry, which was amazing considering how loud his screams were.

His throat burned raw as his screams rose higher. He was so drenched he thought he might be drowning. 

“Why’s he sweating so much?” Terry asked as he wiped away on Negan’s forehead with a rag. “Is that normal?”

“I don’t know. There’s…blood down here Terry. I don’t know if that’s normal.”

Negan momentarily fell silent simply after becoming too tired. He noticed how badly he was shaking, and he couldn’t quite remember that happening the first time. Something just wasn’t right about this feverish agony and he was too scared to think about it for too long. His lower lip trembled as he gazed up at the ceiling pleadingly.

“I don’t wanna die,” he whispered.

“You’re not gonna die,” Terry assured him. He added a few more kisses to his forehead. 

Negan almost wanted to. He was reaching his breaking point fast and couldn’t take the suffering any longer. 

“PUSH! COME THE FUCK ON NEGAN!” Emma ordered.

Negan took a deep breath and ground down as he pushed again. Something twisted violently inside him and caused him to holler like never before.

“We should have given him something!” Terry yelled over the screams.

“Like what? I don’t know what to give in this situation, and we probably don’t have shit!”

There were nasty wet noises, and aches tingling his nerves that were indescribable. 

“I’ve got the shoulders! One last push! COME ON NEGAN!”

“PUSH! FUCKING PUSH!” Terry added.

Negan gave his all and used the very last of his energy to release the pup from his womb completely. Emma gave a rather loud gasp once Negan fell quiet and shut his eyes. He was sure he was breathing too hard, but he didn’t feel compelled to mention it right then. 

“Emma,” Terry began slowly. He rose and released his hold on his Omega’s arms. “Is it alright? Is it…”

Negan wanted to raise himself up and ask as well, but he had not an ounce of strength left. He swallowed thickly and prepared to hear that his child was dead. It would make sense after what he’d gone through. The trauma and the intensity of the heat would surely keep a pup from making it out of his inferno like body alive. But a minute later, loud cries were heard from the newborn. The tears that fell from Negan’s eyes now were of joy.

“Thank god…thank fucking god.”

He raised his head up just enough to see Emma cradling it in her arms. Emma seemed stunned as if she couldn’t believe what had just happened.

“What is it?” Terry questioned as he walked over to her.

Negan tried to see, but she was turned in a way that made it impossible for him to see it clearly. The tears also kept him from having a clear vision. Emma moved away and began to rock his pup while making shushing sounds. Terry moved up behind her and rested a hand on her shoulder as he peeked down at the bundle. Negan tried to speak, but his throat was too raw to form words. All he could do was silently plead for Emma to bring his pup over to him.

“What is it?” Terry asked again.

With a huge smile, Emma turned to Terry.

“It’s ours,” she said with pure delight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Negan having to give birth in a bad pack and Rick missing it was at least one of the first plot points I had in mind for the sequel, and we've finally reached it. It's definitely a traumatic time for poor Negan.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of the birth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More heartbreak to come :(

He had the feeling of not really being there in the room; like he was just some outsider trying to get a peek inside something that had nothing to do with him. Negan struggled to raise himself up, but his energy was lacking severely. 

“My pup!” he managed to gasp. He reached out as the room spun terribly. A second later he felt something wet tapping his forehead a few times.

“You did fucking amazing babe! Just fucking amazing!”

Negan blinked back the tears as he zoned in on his proud looking Alpha. He dropped a kiss on his lips as he ran his fingers vigorously through his hair.

“You might not have balls, but that took some serious balls!”

“I wan…want my…pup.”

He made to get up again, but Terry pressed a hand down on his chest, keeping him in place.

“You need to rest. You’re barely holding it together,” he insisted.

Negan barely managed to shake his head in protest.

“No…my, pup…I have to…”

“Rest,” Terry stated with a hint of a growl. Negan wanted to move away from the hand that was now rubbing across his shoulders, but it was sickeningly comforting after the pain he’d just gone through.

He allowed himself to fall back against the bed and just breathe for a minute. He would need to sum up some energy to hold his child anyways. Though he couldn’t see it from his position, he felt soothed by the continued cries.

Tiredly he turned to Terry.

“Do I have a son, or daughter?”

There was no smile on his face that implied he thought himself a proud father. In fact, Negan couldn’t read the look very well. If anything, he looked contemplative. Terry looked away and looked at his other Omega.

“Emma, take it out of here. I don’t want my Omega any more upset than he already is.”

“Of course. I want some time alone with this sweet little bundle,” she cooed.

“Wait! No!”

The sudden panic fueled him with just enough power to rise as quickly as he could. Wide-eyed, he watched as Emma made for the door, with his pup still shielded from view in her arms.

“No! NO! Gimme back my…!”

He barely managed to touch the floor with his foot before everything went dizzyingly out of control in his eyes.

“Careful now, careful sweetheart.”

He tensed as Terry wrapped his arms around him and eased him back onto the bed. Negan tried to put up a fight. He tried to kick and claw and scream, but everything was fading fast. 

“Nnooo…my…pup…”

“Sleep sweetheart. You deserve it.”

Negan felt a tender kiss on his lips before everything went dark. The sheer terror encompassing his heart barely faded with his fall into unconsciousness.

 

The sickening, pounding headache roused him into wakefulness. The exhaustion was there immediately, along with that intense feverish feeling coating his entire body. He took a few heavy breaths before coughing harshly and blinking back the wetness of his eyes. The plain ceiling greeted his vision which told him he was lying flat on his back. As he became more aware he realized he was still on Terry’s bed, but not in the same way he’d been earlier.

Upon wanting to wipe his face of a wetness coating his brow, he realized it was bound to the corner of the bed post. The same had happened to the other arm. Negan’s breathing hitched when he raised his head and saw the same treatment was given to his legs. He still made an attempt to pull them free of the wrapping that acted as cuffs, but it was too tight. 

“Fu…fuck…fuck…no, no, no…god…”

He struggled his limbs against the bindings as hard as he could, yelling and maneuvering his body wildly against the bed. He stopped quickly enough out of total fatigue, along with a nauseous feeling that made him fear he might actually vomit. He barely registered that his current situation was similar to the time Simon had tied him down in preparation for his transformation into a walker. That had never come, and he certainly wasn’t expecting it to come again, yet he felt almost as sick as he had when he’d gotten bit. He wracked his mind to try and remember if he’d gone through such a scenario again, and somewhere in the fogginess of his tired mind, he heard crying. It was the crying of a newborn pup. Memories were flooding back as fast as his heart was beating. He jolted violently as he strained harder than ever against the bindings. He yelled mindlessly, unable to coherently scream out the actual demand to see his pup. 

The crying was getting louder and louder in his head. His pup was here! He could hear it, crying for him! Needing its mother! It was probably hungry, and that made his screaming all the more intense.

“Hey, hey, HEY!”

Negan came to a stop at the sudden appearance of Terry at the door. He looked almost as scared as he felt. 

“Where’s my pup!” he immediately asked. “Where is it?”

Terry raised his hands in something of surrender. 

“Your pup’s fine,” Terry assured him. “Emma’s looking after it.”

“I wanna see it! I wanna see!”

The Alpha took a moment to brush aside the wet hair strands that were plastering his forehead. 

“Not now. You’re far too weak and worked up. It wouldn’t be good for the pup,” he replied easily. He grinned in what Negan imagined was his version of a comforting smile, yet it was anything but. “Emma’s doing a good job.”

Negan wanted to pounce and rage at him, but he feared getting overcome with emotion would just send him back into unconsciousness. The room wasn’t exactly stable in his eyes and his skin felt quite hot.

“It’s hungry,” he tried desperately. “I need to feed it. Please, just let me…”

He trailed off as Terry pressed a finger to his lips.

“It’s fed. Emma got a tit pumper and pumped a few bottles out of yah.” The so-called comforting grin now turned lecherous as his eyes fell to his obvious mounds. He even dared to brush his fingers across them, making Negan tense in discomfort. “I watched. It was beautiful watching her pump you. I think I found a new kink for us.”

Negan’s stomach flipped in disgust. He turned away and breathed slowly to settle it. 

“Please, just let me see it. It’s my child. It’s my fucking child, and I haven’t even seen it yet.”

Terry’s momentary silence scared him. The man wasn’t even looking at him as his eyes had traveled down from his breasts to the rest of his body.

“You’re gonna bounce back quick. I just know it.”

“Alpha,” Negan begged. It was enough to make his eyes snap upward. “Please.”

“I’m sorry honey,” he said gently as he leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Right now you’re running a bit of a fever, and it would be wrong of me to expose our little one to you when it’s so vulnerable.”

“That why you tied me up? I’m not sick!” Negan growled. “This…I don’t need this! I’m not turning! Untie me! Fucking untie me…please…please Alpha.”

But Terry was shaking his head and patting his cheek.

“It’s not about you turning dead baby. It’s for your own safety. New Omega mothers like you are just a little too emotional and excited. On top of that, you are sick, so I suggest you just relax and enjoy it while you can, because when you’re better, I’m gonna put another pup in that gorgeous body.”

He dropped another kiss on his forehead before stepping away.

“NO! NO! GET BACK HERE!” Negan tugged against the binds with all his might. “Give me my pup! Give me my pup!”

After Terry slammed the door shut, Negan fell into instant sobs. His body shook both from his hard crying and the slight fever. The whole thing was so surreal. His newborn wasn’t in his arms where it belonged. The crying his mind had dreamed up was fading into nothing. He wanted to scream for Emma; asking her if she was really taking care of the pup. For all he knew it had died and Terry was just skirting around the issue. He hadn’t even bothered to tell him the sex or what it even looked like. All Terry seemed concerned about was screwing him once he was well. 

His sobs diminished once he became too tired to cry any longer. He looked at the drawn curtains of the window, mentally calling out for Sherry. She had attempted to help, but it had backfired once Terry became involved. He growled and pulled at his cuffs at the thought of it, then reasoned this wasn’t on her. There was no hiding the birth anyway. He was caught because he hadn’t made any real attempt in leaving before then. The idea of a failed escape made him think of his two little ones back in Alexandria. Teary-eyed, he brought Lucy and Jake’s faces to the forefront of his mind. He prayed Carl was still looking after them well enough. 

“You have a new little brother or sister,” he whispered. He felt ashamed that he didn’t know which. 

Following his mental image of the twins came Rick, which got him choked up.

“Damn it Rick…I’m sorry.”

If Rick had been there, he would’ve gotten to hold his pup. It would’ve been safe and comforted. His shoulders shook hard as the cries started all over again.

 

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed by the time he found himself reawakening to his crappy situation. He didn’t even remember falling asleep. He groaned as he didn’t really feel any better. The sweat was still rolling off his face, and the nausea wouldn’t stop. He didn’t recall feeling this lousy after the birth of the twins. Nevertheless, he put what energy he had obtained into shouting as loud as his lungs would allow. He shouted for Emma, then Sherry, but most of all he shouted for his pup.

He picked a fight with his cloth cuffs again regardless of how useless it was. Something so simple shouldn’t be able to stop him. He had a pup out there and he was getting it back damn it!

When he couldn’t scream any longer or free himself, he slumped into the bed, breathing heavily. There really didn’t seem to be any real air in the stale room. 

The door opened, and with a rush of hope he raised his head to see his visitor. To his dismay, it wasn’t Emma with the pup. Instead Chris was standing in the doorway with a bottle of water in his hand, and a stupid smile on his face.

“Damn that pup took a lot out of you. You should see how pathetic you look.”

“Where’s my pup?” Negan asked, ignoring the laughing. 

Chris just shrugged as he came inside.

“Hell if I know.” The response twisted at his heart harshly. “You gotta pee or something? Take a shit?”

“You’re on toilet duty now?”

“Brought you water too,” Chris said as he shook the bottle. “I can get you food too, but only if you’re nice to me.”

“Fuck off.”

Chris chuckled and turned away.

“O-kay. Crap in your Alpha’s bed for all I care. He’ll beat you within an inch of your life.”

“Wait!” he cried before he could leave. “When the hell is Terry getting me outta here?”

Chris met his eyes once he reached the door.

“Soon. He’s gonna give you just what you need.”

Negan watched him leave, feeling unsure of how to take his reply. He decided it was better to take it as a positive sign that Terry would present his pup to him. The Alpha was clearly paranoid about him getting enough rest. He wasn’t sure if Chris would report that he was well rested, so to be on the safe side he decided it was best to just stay quiet and calm. The reward would be what he sorely needed.

 

Hours passed with Negan doing nothing more than lying on the bed, doing his best not to lose it mentally. His throat was awfully parched and his stomach rumbled with hunger. On the good side he was certain his fever died down a little, but it was hard to tell. 

Once again when the door opened, he felt a rush of hope. Surely his ‘rest time’ was over. Terry would be able to see that much. He hadn’t screamed for hours. He’d been good; a perfect, quiet Omega. So of course that meant he could at last be reunited with his child.

However, to his great dismay, he didn’t see his child. Instead he saw Terry, Chris, and Ralph. He nearly blurted out his demand again, but was stopped by the sight of the needle in Terry’s hand. He stopped at the foot of the bed and smiled proudly down at him.

“Now you see what a little rest can do for you honey?”

“Still looks like shit to me,” Chris said with a laugh as he too scrutinized Negan.

Terry gave a warning growl under his breath, making Chris fall quiet. Negan fidgeted uncomfortably and wet his cracked lips.

“What’s that?”

Terry followed his line of sight to the needle. He gave a low whistle then sauntered up to the side of the bed. Negan tried to inch away from him as much as possible.

“Well honey, it’s the only way we can do this without you putting up a fuss,” Terry answered as he ran his hand through his blonde hair.

Negan frowned at him. He wouldn’t put up a fuss to see his kid. It was what he’d been wanting the whole time.

“No, no Alpha, please. I wouldn’t! I’m not gonna, no no no no. No…no!”

His cries meant nothing as he pieced the skin of his arm with the needle. His mind went haywire after that. For a second he thought the drug was meant to kill him, then he all out panicked when he felt himself growing tired. His useless struggling ceased as he went limp; as he felt himself becoming detached.

Terry made shushing noises while brushing the side of his cheek in a tender manner.

“You’re gonna be alright darling,” he promised.

Negan didn’t buy it. He stared into his dark eyes, almost wishing he had the courage to spit into them. He wouldn’t have gotten his chance anyhow as he was once again greeted with unconsciousness.

 

There was no feeling of ties on his wrists when he woke up. That offered some relief, and encouraged him to fully open his eyes. This time he was lying on his side, on some padding that wasn’t as soft as the bed had been. It was also a little dark. He groaned and raised himself up. The headache was almost gone, but the ill feeling remained.

Ignoring it for the moment, he set his attention on his surroundings. The relief washed away and made room for fear. He was in some small room that appeared shed-like and he was lying on a wide thin pad on a dusty floor. There was only one window which had bars over it, as did the window in the door. In a corner there were two bottles of water and a large white bucket with a few rolls of tissue next to it. He grimaced at his new toilet before attempting to stand.

His legs shook badly, and there was a bad emptiness in him that caused him to crash onto the padding again. The dizziness was strong enough to make him vomit up phlegm. He grounded himself on his hands and knees and just tried to breathe steady.

“Look at you, already well rested.”

Negan turned sharply to the voice and saw Terry peeking at him through the window. With a pained cry, Negan hurriedly rose to his feet and shuffled over to it. Standing off to the side behind him was Bode and Chris, who seemed a little too happy to see him. 

“What is this place?”

Terry gave him a look as if he was confused by the question.

“This,” he said while gesturing at it with his arms raised, “is the recovery room. Mainly used for fine Omegas like yourself when you’re in big need of a break. But also, it counts as a source of punishment for those getting out of hand.”

“You’re…punishing me?” Negan questioned with uncertainty, to which Terry laughed.

“Punishing you? Oh sweetheart, how could I ever punish that sweet face of yours?” He reached a hand through the bars and rubbed his fingers lovingly along his cheek. Negan allowed it as he gazed at him intently.

“Alpha…I don’t fucking understand. I thought…my pup…I…”

“It’s simple baby. You see I need my bed back, and you need more time to get your shit together. As much as I need you by my side, you wouldn’t be able to settle down. This place’ll make it so. You won’t have to be tied down, and I won’t have to worry about you running off in a fit or disturbing the peace. You’ll have a nice quiet place to yourself.”

His body was trembling hard, and there was little air left in his lungs. 

“I, I don’t need this Alpha. Please don’t do this! Please.”

“Negan, as your Alpha, I know what’s best for you. I know how to properly take care of your ass, which is why you’re staying here.”

He almost slipped to the floor as his legs wobbled violently. His eyes misted over with tears, and in a matter of seconds they were pouring down his cheeks again. He glared as hard as his crumbling demeanor would allow.

“I’ll stay, I promise I’ll stay and be good if you just let me see my pup.”

Terry smiled softly and touched his cheek one last time before pulling his hand back though.

“No,” came his quiet response.

Negan practically lost it then. He raged against the window, eyes rolling.

“FUCKING GIMME MY PUP!! FFFUUUUUCCKKK!!! Let me see him!...I need to...to…”

He couldn’t finish as he slid from the window and collapsed onto the floor in a sobbing, choking heap. The world was falling away rapidly and he just couldn’t hold on.

“Now that right there is why you need this room,” came Terry’s voice. It was followed by his and Chris’s laughter. 

Negan heard no more after that. He let his body slip sideways and sink into a new form of misery. One where his heart was torn out of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's nothing worse the new mother can go through right now


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan's suffering in the room continues, but a certain someone offers much needed information

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The hard times continue for Negan just a little longer
> 
> *WARNING! non-con touching/molestation and humiliating milking situation

Losing track of time was easy. Already Negan couldn’t be sure how many days had passed. All he knew was that he was forced to experience another form of a prison. With Rick it had been an actual prison. With Leo, it had been being tied in a bed, blindfolded. Later it had been followed up by a ‘recovery room’. Of the three, he felt the recovery room had to be the worst considering it symbolized his separation from the pup he’d yet to meet. Not once did he stop asking to meet it. Whether it was Chris, Bode, or even Jimmy coming by to slip food through the slot under the door, or clean out his bucket, he always asked to see it.  
“You don’t have a pup no more,” Chris would say in a humorous tone, as if he thought he was just being funny by asking so often. “Emma does.”

Negan knew he should stop asking. They weren’t going to give him anything. He wasn’t even sure if they knew anything, or cared enough to pay attention to what Emma was doing with his pup. So as more days passed, he fell quieter on the subject. A second reason for it was the fever.

In all that time, the odd fevery feeling remained. Most of the time he laid on his cot feeling sickeningly exhausted. Whether it was a particularly hot day or not, sweat ran down his forehead and his body shivered as if he was cold. There were moments when he’d throw up, especially if he wallowed in his misery for too long. He was given Ibuprofen and he’d take it gladly, but it didn’t seem to do a damn thing. He didn’t want to believe it was getting worse, but he had an idea that it was when Terry actually entered his room one day with a cold damp cloth in his hand.

Negan looked up at him through the haze of wet eyes. At first he thought he was dreaming. Since his first day in the shed, Terry hadn’t bothered to see him again. For some reason, Negan thought to make a joke out of it.

“I thought the honeymoon was…over,” he quietly joked as he rolled onto his back.

Terry chuckled at the joke and knelt down. 

“Glad to see despite your situation, you still got a sharp tongue on you.”

Negan moaned in relief as the cool cloth touched his burning forehead. 

“Gotta do…something to entertain myself…since I…can’t see my pup,” he snapped back.

The smile dropped slightly from Terry’s face, but he didn’t seem bothered. 

“Well, you know you can’t see your pup the way you are now don’t you? You’re sick in case you haven’t realized.”

Negan tried to muster a glare, but it felt better to just close his eyes for a little bit. He preferred to muster up the energy to rush him and make a break for it. He had tried it, twice before, but he was easily stopped since he was so weakened. 

“At least tell me if it’s…a boy…or girl.”

Terry just smiled as he began dabbing the cloth on his forehead instead of letting it rest in place. Negan moaned from the nice feel of it.

“You don’t need to concern yourself about that. Just worry about getting better, because when you’re better, I’ll be able to make you quite happy.”

Fingers dropped down and slipped onto his waist, making Negan jolt. Terry didn’t stop there. He went ahead and brought those fingers into the waistband of his pants, and letting them inch along his thigh.  
Negan’s breathing picked up, and he could feel his heartrate doing the same. The Alpha’s pheromones threatened to suffocate him as the Alpha became more excited.

“Please…please Alpha,” Negan begged. He hated the tears that were starting to form in his eyes. He wanted to be stronger than that. 

“Please what?” he whispered. He knew what as he let his fingers circle around his limp dick. 

Negan gasped and tried to jerk away, but Terry had a strong hold on him. He gasped again as he began to work him.

“Please I don’t…not now…not…please, let me get better.”

Terry let the molestation go on a little longer before retracting his hand and huffing in irritation. 

“Sorry honey. I just thought I’d make you feel better, the one way I really know how.”

Negan shut his eyes and gave a nod to show he understood; that there were no hard feelings. Pissing Terry off was not good given the circumstances.

“Thank you Alpha.”

Terry nodded and rubbed his shoulder before kissing his forehead.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you baby. The honeymoon’s far from over.”

Negan barely managed another nod before concentrating on relaxing himself again. He felt a rush of wind that indicated Terry rising, then a moment later he heard the door shut. The tears spilled strong upon his departure, and the feel of Terry’s fingers on him remained present. He rolled onto his side as he fell into a fit of coughing and sobbing. He couldn’t imagine things getting any worse.

 

Carl watched Jake running around with Dog with a detached kind of feeling. That was how he reacted to life nowadays; like he was just watching and wasn’t fully a part of it. It had been too long since his dad and Negan had disappeared. All search parties were practically disbanded. People still went out looking, but Carl didn’t get the sense that the effort was as strong. Michonne and a few others told him it wasn’t true, but it just didn’t change his feelings on the matter. 

“Hey.”

He looked up as Daryl joined him on the porch.

“Hey. Lucy still drawing?” Carl asked.

Daryl nodded before sitting down next to him. 

“Never saw myself as much of a pupsitter,” he admitted, making Carl smile.

“I think you’re doing fine with them. And I could use a break every now and then.”

“If you need me, you got me.”

Carl nodded appreciatively and leaned back into the steps with a sigh. 

“There’s talk of starting up the fair, even though dad and Negan aren’t here.” Daryl didn’t respond to it, which didn’t make Carl feel great about bringing it up. Still, he kept the subject alive. “You think they should?”

“Don’t know,” the Beta admitted with a shrug. “I think your dad would’ve wanted you, and us, to keep doing what we’ve always been doing. But I’d hold off and make sure before we had it.”

“So you think they’re still alive? They have to be right?”

He was staring at Daryl hard. Whenever he asked the question of anyone who wasn’t particularly close to them, they would give a general response of “Yeah” or “Of course”, although a few were honest in their opinions by stating both Rick and Negan had to be dead. Sometimes it didn’t matter what they thought, but other times Carl felt it was important to know.

“You’re dad’s a survivor, which means he ain’t dead. We’re just not looking in the right spot.”

“And, Negan?” 

Daryl dropped his head and twitched, signifying his continued unsettled feelings about the man. He had gotten better about him in the years that had passed, but some hurt still remained. 

“Negan’s a tough son of a bitch too. Maybe, he actually managed to find Rick. If he did, I might have to shake his hand.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

Dog’s barking alerted them to the dog bounding up to them as he chased Jake.

“Carl, come play too.” The four year old latched onto his hand and pulled, urging him to join in his fun. 

“Okay okay, but Uncle Daryl’s coming too.”

Daryl huffed but got to his feet. 

“I may be getting too old for this,” he griped.

“You, old? Never,” Carl teased.

 

Whenever he was able to, Negan would get up and walk a little. The recovery room, or rather shed, offered some room for him to stretch his legs, but not much. It was at least larger than the Alexandrian prison. It was the only way to stay active. Exercise, however, wasn’t his biggest concern. Aside from hearing no news about his pup, his next fear was going insane. He had tried to make it clear to Terry at one point. 

“Please Alpha. Let me out, just for a little while. I’m going fucking mad in here,” he had begged.

Terry just chuckled softly from his place at the window. 

“Oh baby, no Omega’s ever gone mad in there, no matter how long they’ve stayed. It’s a recovery room.”

“It’s a prison,” Negan argued weakly. 

Terry had said nothing more and simply walked away. 

Negan walked up to the window and gazed out longingly. He wasn’t sure where this so-called recovery room was in relation to the motel. From his view, he never saw any passersby. All he saw was a brick wall several feet ahead of him which made him think he must be behind the motel, but not outside the safety of the walls. It was just far enough away to keep him isolated from the rest of the pack and to keep him from hearing news that may be passing by word of mouth. 

“At least give me a damn book,” he muttered as he got bored and turned away. 

He dropped to the edge of the padding and let his head rest against an arm. As the quietness began to rise, he let his hand drop to his midsection. The flatness of it always bothered him now, just as much as it bothered him whenever Kat was sent inside to collect his milk for the pup’s feeding. He cringed as he thought of the first time the routine had started.

Bode had been standing nearby with a pair of cuffs in his hands, along with Chris who was holding some rope. Terry was standing at the foot of his bed, giving him a cold, serious look. 

“You’re a good Omega right? I can trust you to behave can’t I?”

Negan was confused by the question, but nodded nonetheless. 

“Good.” He looked away from him and motioned to someone standing outside. Negan’s heart lurched in anticipation of at last being reunited with his newborn. But it wasn’t the case as Kat came into view with a breast pump in her hands. Her head was bowed, but Negan could see the misery etched on her features easily enough. She didn’t want to do what Terry was ordering her to do. Negan especially didn’t want this, and pushed himself into a corner of the room in a pathetic attempt to get away.

“No…don’t do this.”

“The pup’s gotta eat,” Terry stated. “You want it to starve?”

“B-bring it to me! I’ll feed it right here. I won’t even look at it if that’s what you want.”

“Oh sweetheart, you know that’ll be too hard on you. Go at it Kat.”

Kat shuffled up to him and dropped to her knees. 

“I’m sorry about this,” she muttered. She still couldn’t really meet his eyes. The helplessness she was showing made him feel all the more worse about it. 

“At least let us do it in private,” Negan pleaded. “Send Bode and Chris away.”

Terry was shaking his head.

“I get the say in who stays and who leaves. You’re not the Alpha around here honey. And I want them to stay. It’ll be a nice learning experience for both of them.”

Negan made the mistake of glancing up at Bode and Chris. Bode didn’t seem all that excited for what he was about to see, while Chris looked like he was about to be presented with a hilarious joke. Just seeing their eyes on him made his stomach turn sharply and triggered his body into shaking violently. 

When Kat had made to lift up his shirt, he quickly pushed her hands away. At that point, Bode stepped forward and jingled the cuffs.

“Careful beautiful,” Terry warned. “You fight, Bode and Chris will have to tie you down for the milking process. I’m sure you don’t want that, do you.”

Naturally he didn’t, so he did his best to keep still as Kat fixed the cups over his boobs. His face burned with humiliation as Kat turned the pump and let it do its thing. The sucking sensation wasn’t enough to distract him from his obvious audience, especially when Chris had to make some lewd comment about it. 

“Hey Terry. Think you could let me have a taste some time? I wanna know if man’s milk is as good as a bitches’.”

“I doubt it’s as sweet, but I’ll save a little for you if you’re that interested.” 

A whine of sorrow had erupted from Negan’s throat then, and he did his best to curl away and keep them out of his line of sight all while Kat whispered apologies to him.

Yes, getting milked before Bode and Chris was one of the most damaging things Terry continued to put him through. It was amplified when he eventually allowed Jimmy to come and watch. 

A knock on the window distracted him from his mind. Automatically he tensed, expected the worse as it was never good when he got a visitor. To his surprise, it turned out to be a fresh face.

“S-sherry?” 

It had to be a hallucination because there was no way that Sherry was there at that moment. Slowly he rose to his feet and really looked at her. 

“Negan…are you, okay?”

He shuffled forward as the room spun a bit. Damn the fever.

“You’re really here aren’t you? Fuck…I don’t believe it.” He grabbed onto the bars of the window and took a moment to take in her presence before looking over her shoulder. “Terry…is he, here?”

“No, I snuck over here on my own.” She looked to her right, appearing on edge. “I can’t get caught talking to you, that’s why none of the other Omegas came. Negan, it’s gotten really bad out here. Emma’s—”

“What about my pup?” he quickly asked. “Did you bring it? Please…tell me you brought it.”

The look on her face alone was enough of an answer, but he couldn’t help asking anyways. She was out there and he wasn’t. 

“That would be impossible,” she said softly. “And of course Terry would know. Besides that, Emma’s with your pup around the clock.”

Negan could almost sink to the floor again as the terrible defeat struck him all over again. His legs wobbled and his eyes teared up, but he forced himself to remain upright. Not wanting her to see his face, he hung it until he could clear the tears away.

“Was it a boy, or a girl? Tell me Sher, please. Do I have a son or daughter?”

She sighed but didn’t respond right away. When the silence dragged on too long, he raised his head and pressed into the bars hard.

“FUCKING TELL ME!”

“I don’t…I don’t know,” she answered, alarmed.

“How the fuck can you not know!”

It was now Sherry blinking back tears.

“Emma didn’t tell anyone what it was. We haven’t even seen it.”

“Bullshit,” he growled. “How the fuck can you not know?”

“For this very reason,” she remarked back. She glanced around to make sure no one was coming before continuing. “Emma’s pretty paranoid right now. She stays shut up with that pup for days and barely comes out. Sometimes we hear her arguing with Terry. He’s not acting as, normal as he usually does these days, and he’s not telling the pack anything either.”

“Surely he’d tell the pack something,” Negan argued weakly. 

Sherry swallowed and dropped her head.

“I think Terry’s keeping his mouth shut for her. I think she wants it secret so word doesn’t reach you. In case someone, like me, decided to tell you.”

Negan wavered on the spot feeling sick.

“Why? What’s the point?”

“To sever the connection,” she said quietly. Upon his expression, she elaborated. “Emma considers that pup hers, and by keeping information from you, she’s hoping you’ll detach from it and forget about it in the end.”

“Never,” Negan whispered while shaking his head. It was impossible that he’d ever let it go. He swallowed hard and brushed back a tear. “At least tell me it’s healthy.”

“From the little I hear from Terry, it is.” She dropped her head and shut her eyes briefly. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you anything.”

Negan stared at her hard as a flash of anger licked at his insides. Suddenly he didn’t feel comforted by her presence. Instead, he felt betrayed.

“Why are you here? To tell me that you can’t tell me a goddamn thing? How do I know Emma didn’t send you here to gloat?”

At that, Sherry backed away from the windows looking affronted. 

“I’m not working with that bitch, I’m…” She trailed off as she glanced back once more to make sure she wasn’t being watched. Then she moved in close and dropped her voice to a whisper. “I came to let you know me and several of the Omegas are planning a way to escape in a few days.”

Negan gawked at her, not knowing what to feel other than shock and heartbreak. He knew he should be happy for them, but he just couldn’t muster up a proud smile. The Omegas would find a way to leave this place. They would leave and never come back, and he would be alone, the only Omega.

“Sherry,” he started slowly, unsure of what to say.

Sherry gripped the bars hard and gazed back at him with a determined look.

“For years I’ve hated you, and I know I’ve always wished the worse for you, but this is too much. That’s why, I’m going to help you escape with us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sherry steps in with the hope for rescue. No one needs it more at this point.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan's sickness worsens and puts him at risk for a possibly dangerous encounter

_“He’s dying, can’t you see that? It’s obvious!”_

Negan blinked with uncertainty at the words that floated through the air. He was sure he was dreaming, but he couldn’t really tell. What he did know was that he felt downright awful. His body felt as heavy as a pound of cement if he tried to lift it, and if he managed any small movements, his head would spin like a top.

_“He’s gonna be fine. I’ll get Jasper in here again to look him over.”_

He curled in on himself as his body shivered and ached. It was so hot he thought he was melting.

 _“Jasper don’t know shit about what’s going on, but he agrees with me.”_

There was a pause which Negan took comfort in. He didn’t want to hear these strange voices right now, and yet he was just a little bit curious. 

_“I’m not letting him go. I can’t. He’ll get better, you’ll see.”_

_“And if he infects the whole pack?”_

The other voice didn’t answer. Negan made a small effort to try and see who the voices belonged to as they sounded so familiar. From his blurry vision, he could make out two figures standing over him, but then they faded soon enough as darkness clouded his mind.

 

Negan couldn’t be sure how much time had passed. For all he knew, Sherry had already conducted the escape and led the other Omegas away. Maybe she had stopped by, decided he was dying, then left without him. If that was the case he hoped she had at least managed to steal his pup away from Emma. 

He whined as he lingered on the thought of it. He didn’t want such thoughts as it only seemed to make his symptoms worse. It had gotten so bad, he almost didn’t care if he died right there. The only positive to it was that Terry wouldn’t be able to fuck him.

A sudden _boom_ sounded off somewhere in the distance behind him. It wasn’t loud enough to stir him, so he continued to try and sleep, as was his current objective. A minute later it sounded off again, this time a little louder. Negan was compelled to open his eyes when shouting followed the noise.

Through his blurry vision, he saw the usual door and window of the recovery room that greeted him. There was nothing to indicate something was happening to it. He blinked and groaned as he tried to further awaken himself, and just when he managed to raise himself up on his hands, something crashed against the door. 

“Negan…Negan!”

He tensed and raised his head slowly. A face was peeking into the window. He frowned until his vision and mind cleared enough for him to recognize the person.

“Kat?” he asked slowly.

She huffed and hurried to the door. The next thing he heard was her banging on the handle. He assumed she was trying to break a possible lock on the door.

“It’s happening. We’re breaking out! Get up, we’ve gotta…shit.”

She moved from the door and popped into the window again. She already looked frazzled, but now it was worse.

“Wha…what’s going—”

“I’m sorry.”

She hurried out of sight before Negan could get any questions in.

“Stop her!” came another voice.

There was the unmistakable sound of a gunshot, followed by a cry from Kat. Negan raised himself fully. He was sure he had to have been dreaming because there was no way that had just happened. With a gasp, he forced himself onto shaky legs. They shook like crazy when he made his first step, then they couldn’t take it as he fell to the floor.

“No…Kat…the fuck…”

“Open it!”

He realized the other voice belonged to Emma. The right thing to feel would’ve been fear, but for some reason he couldn’t really muster that emotion. The sickness was just too numbing.

The door opened, and in walked two large husky looking Betas. They positioned themselves as guards as they parted for Emma to enter, though Negan didn’t remember ever seeing them before. Negan crawled back and again tried to rise to his feet.

“Having trouble dearie?” she teased. 

“The hell, is going on?”

Emma just made a click sound and indicated for the guards to move forward. Negan attempted to just crawl away despite how pointless it was. After their rough hands circled under his arms, he was yanked forcibly too his feet. The action alone was painful and made him yelp. Emma stepped back as he was dragged outside. He almost couldn’t remember the last time he’d been outdoors, but he wasn’t able to savor the moment as he recalled what had occurred just minutes ago.

He turned quickly in the direction Kat had run and found her grasping a wound on her thigh on the ground. At least she was still alive.

“Why’d you do that?” he asked as soon as Emma sauntered into his line of sight. The smile plastered on her face sickened him. 

“You know a better way to stop someone from breaking a prisoner out?”

He almost appreciated the fact that she called the shed what it was instead of a recovery room. But the thought was quickly brushed aside as his brain kicked in and reminded him of what Emma had done.

“Where the hell’s my pup!” He lurched forward, but the guards held him too tight for it to mean anything. 

“Sweetie, you’re in no condition to see your pup. You’re dying.”

“Give it go me!” He pulled against his guards. “Let me go! Fucking let me go!”

“Negan!”

He stopped upon hearing Kat’s alarmed voice. When he looked at her, she just shook her head in warning. Now wasn’t the time to lose it or make demands. He jumped when the sound of distant gunfire rung in his ears, and his eyes widened when he noticed clouds of smoke rising presumably from one of the motel rooms. 

“What the hell’s going on?”

“Insurrection,” Emma replied, showing obvious signs of distaste. “The ungrateful assholes.”

“Sherry,” he muttered fondly as he watched the rising dark smoke. He had no idea if she had planned the escape or not, but for now she represented something great to him. Then his brow furrowed in worry from the fact that it hadn’t been her that had come for him. “Where is she? Why didn’t she…”

He trailed off as he turned his attention to Kat for an explanation.

“She wanted to get to your pup,” Kat replied. She dropped her head afterwards, expressing the idea that it was a fail. 

Still, Sherry had tried. She had tried to unite him with his pup, and after everything he had done to her in the past. Negan felt a bit of shame, but more than that, he was touched greatly. He had hoped to be able to do it, yet he hadn’t foreseen how weak and sickly he’d be at the time of the uprising. However it seemed the universe had listened to his woes and tried to intervene by encouraging Sherry somehow to make the attempt. 

He rounded on Emma, glaring hard.

“What happened…to her?” He stopped as a sudden wooziness overtook him and made him waver on the spot. It wouldn’t do to fall unconscious now, but he had a feeling he would be fighting it hard shortly.

“She was stopped,” Emma replied simply. “Stupid Omega. Why she thought she could take my child-”

“IT’S NOT…your child.” He shut his eyes as the agony flared. His body slumped in the hold of the guards as he began to pant hard. When he was able to regain control of himself, he sucked in a deep breath and did his best to stand tall. “Did you kill her? Sherry?”

Emma merely stared back at him with an unreadable expression. Then the expression transformed into annoyance as she turned away from him.

“What’s happening now is no longer your concern, because you’re not part of this pack anymore.”

“What?”

She took a step closer to him as a false expression of concern took over her face.

“You’re dying. That makes you dangerous to this pack. You become a cold one and end up biting someone, well that just screws us all over doesn’t it.” She laughed lightly at the dark joke, then she slowly pulled her gun and pointed it directly between his eyes. The smile was completely gone then. “Terry’s too fucking blind to see the obvious, because you’re a nice piece of ass for him. Well I got fucking news! I WAS HIS FIRST! And I’m done being second best.”

“Emma, don’t!” Kat cried for him.

Negan just looked back at her, waiting for the bullet to come. It was odd, but he could barely summon any fear for what was about to happen. He supposed it was because he was starting to believe she may have a point. The fever had kicked up so strongly, it must have meant that he was truly dying. This would put him out of his misery. But as he stared into her eyes, he could really only think of one thing at the moment.

“My pup.” What would happen to it? He couldn’t bear the idea of it being raised by her. He was compelled to ask to see it, but he knew he would be wasting his time.

“The pup’s mine,” she clarified. Then she turned the gun on Kat before walking over to her. “This is what happens when you fuck with our pack and ruin what we have here. You ruined it for me Negan, just like the others before you, but you gave me something special in return. But Kat, she ruined it by being a part of those traitorous Omegas.”

Kat squared her shoulders as he mustered up a hard stony glare when Emma looked her way.

“You’re never gonna get—”

The pop from the gun caused Negan to jump and gasp. Wide-eyed, he watched as Kat slumped over from the gunshot in her head. He just stood there, staring at this brave woman who had become something of a friend to him in all the time he’d been trapped there; who’d been brave enough to try and rescue him. Every emotion fired off like a blast as he howled with rage. 

“Take him,” he heard Emma order.

His cries settled down as his body gave out. He fell limp once more and the guards were forced to drag him since he had no energy to move his legs. His vision was threatening to fall into darkness. Before it did, Emma pressed her smiling face into his.

“Say hi to the chatters for me.”

He vaguely recalled the reference as his head fell forward. Darkness didn’t come. He still held on, but now he just felt worse. He was being torn apart all over again and consumed by the fire of the fever.

A moment later his cheek hit something soft. His muddled brain barely took in the car seat he was thrown onto. A thick hand settled upon his back as if to keep him in place. 

“Don’t try nothing,” the person warned.

Negan just shivered from the feverish chill. He wanted to tell him he couldn’t try anything even if he wanted to right now. Instead, tears were flowing yet again from his already reddened eyes. He wished Emma would have shot him right then and there, because he couldn’t take any more of this.

He heard an engine and felt the car moving, but registered nothing else. 

“Rrriiiiccckkk,” he found himself whining. 

He wasn’t sure why. He partly figured it was because his old Alpha wouldn’t have failed to lose the pup. Even if he had, he would have rescued it and escaped. Not him though. No. He had failed to get it away from Emma, and now he was paying a hefty price for it by dying. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he shut his eyes.

 

He was startled back into wakefulness as the hard earth hit him across the face. His eyes opened and took in the ground that met him at eye level. Swiveling his eyes around, he noticed the two guards standing over him after having dumped him on the ground, presumably in some unknown area. Negan was too weak to raise himself up to see exactly where he was. 

“Shame,” said one of the men as he gazed down at his shaking form. “Shame he’s dying. I would’ve like to tap that ass.”

He raised his foot back and unnecessarily kicked dirt into Negan’s face, making him choke from the dust. The men just laughed then walked away. 

Negan was shaking harder than ever, and the sweat poured like a waterfall.

“Fuck.”

He tried rolling onto his back, but the blazing sun made it worse. With a pained moan, he rolled back onto his side and curled into a tight ball. 

It was over. Now all he had to look forward to were the mysterious ‘chatters’. His brain just barely managed to surface the meaning behind the word. Walkers…walkers that supposedly talked. Whether they did or not it didn’t matter, because in the end it meant that he would die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Negan finally got away from Terry's pack, but not in the way he would want. And now he'll possibly have to put up with the mysterious _chatters_


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan encounters the _chatters_ , along with a few other surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this is the halfway point

There was a throb; an unnatural, painful kind of throb happening just behind his neck. It barely clicked in his muddled mind that it was stemming from his gland. With a sharp intake of breath, he reached a shaky hand to the back to feel it. He gasped at barely being able to detect it. It was almost as if it had sunk in a little. 

“What’s…happening to me?”

There was no answer from the universe except that things were hazing in and out of focus at a quick rate. There just wasn’t enough air for him to take in, so he was left panting painfully. Suddenly, an agonizing fiery pain from his abdomen had him rolling onto his back screaming.

It wouldn’t matter that he would attract walkers. He had already accepted that this was it. The only question was why was it taking him so long to die?

He struggled to keep his eyes open and aware so he could mentally say his goodbyes to what he was about to lose. Heaven was looming over him in the form of the clear blue sky, yet he doubted he would see it. Maybe his becoming an Omega hadn’t been enough for him to pass into the realm of goodness. He had definitely screwed it up by losing his bond to Rick as well as the pup, and for that he felt he deserved hell. Nonetheless, he was apologetic for all of it.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, before the last of his energy sapped away. His eyes closed of their own accord and his head slowly dropped to the side.

 

He was slightly aware of the sound of shuffling feet approaching, yet he couldn’t bear to open his eyes. Negan wasn’t at all sure how long he laid there, but at the moment he felt comfortable enough to remain right where he was; on his side on the ground.

The shuffling feet became louder, and soon it was very clear that several people had circled around his form. As scary as that was, he didn’t dare to anything just yet. It was just another pack he was sure, except he couldn’t catch their scents well, and there were a few odd growls coming from them. 

_“Blonde gave an Alpha,”_ came an odd craggy voice in a whisper.

Negan kept himself from frowning at the word. It had sounded like the person was talking about him, but that didn’t make sense because he was, of course, an Omega.

 _“Is it an Alpha?”_ someone questioned with much uncertainty.

_“I sense it too.”_

_“It’s strange. He doesn’t exactly smell Alpha. Could be a Beta.”_

_“Maybe Omega?”_

The frown deepened. It definitely sounded like they were talking about him, and the only reasoning he could think of for their inability to label him was that something was wrong with them. They either had poor eyesight or their sense of smell was shit. But there was another thing bothering him. Something was trying to click in his mind about these whispering voices. Then he tensed when he recalled hearing them from long ago. The guttural, whispery voices had sounded like they were coming from the walkers, which was impossible. He was eager to open his eyes, but forced himself to just remain still and calm.

_“What is he?”_

_“Don’t know, but Alpha would want to see.”_

_“Come. We take him.”_

The moment several hands grabbed onto him, Negan made to spring away. His energy had come back, and it barely occurred to him that the fever had broken, and without any real medicine other than sleep.  
As soon as his feet hit the ground, his eyes widened in surprise as he was caught off guard first by the odd feel of his body. He didn’t get a chance to clue into it as he was next overcome by the sight of his new captors. 

They were walkers. Walkers who weren’t trying to eat him and were instead just standing there like regular people, staring at him. Negan stared back at them, dumbfounded. Then he took in the two walkers that had a hold of his arms. This was an action that people did, not the dead. The dead didn’t act like this!

Negan’s body jerked instinctively to get away from whatever was going on here. Were these a new set of walkers? Were they evolving to the point of acting like humans?

“Fuck…FUCK! Get away from me!” he screamed, panicked.

_“Quiet! You’ll draw more.”_

Negan settled down as soon as he heard the whispery voice again. It had talked, just as they’d had when he was hiding in a ditch. His brain informed him that it had to be true. If he was over his fever and feeling better, he shouldn’t be imagining voices again. Of course it could still be a sign that he had cracked, but he didn’t at all believe that was the case.

“You, talked.”

The walker he was addressing, turned to the one next to him with a smirk.

_“Sounds strong. Alpha may approve.”_

“No,” Negan muttered as he narrowed his eyes at them. It had just registered to his slow moving mind that something was off with their look. Their faces weren’t quite right as the skin was protruding in an odd way, making their eyes and mouths settle in a way that didn’t fit a normal face. As if struck by lightning, Negan’s eyes widened to their fullest with the realization of what exactly it was he was seeing. 

“You’re people,” he whispered in awe. “People wearing…fuck, tell me that’s not dead skin.”

_“Come Alpha.”_

_“He’s Beta,”_ someone argued.

The two holding him in place began to drag him forward as the others moved, but Negan dug in his heels. He wasn’t expecting it to make much of a difference because it never did. Omegas weren’t that strong, yet he was somehow…strong. On top of that his body just didn’t feel the same. Something wasn’t right at all.

“What the hell are you talking about? I’m a…!” He swallowed a gasp at the very sound of his own voice. The power in which he had given that yell, favored the intensity of an Alpha, not an Omega. “The fuck?”

He glanced down, where another surprise was in store.

After becoming an Omega, his body had become frailer and somewhat lighter. He’d kept his height but there was a clear difference in his body. No longer had it been the powerhouse of his Alpha days with muscles that actually carried strength and a mass that left no one to question what he was. Well in this case he didn’t feel frail at all. Gone was the lightness of his body, replaced by the familiar weight of an Alpha, yet at the same time it wasn’t all there. He could sense it easily enough. As for Terry’s scent on the back of his neck, it was barely even there anymore. And as for his breasts, they appeared to have receded into him noticeably. He could still make out the mounds, but they weren’t as eye-catching as they had been before.

“Oh my god,” he gasped.

A thousand things were running through his brain, crashing into each other, but it resulted in one truth he was certain of. 

He had changed in status again!

_“Get moving.”_

He was pushed forward harshly. A growl summoned itself from his throat, and it rumbled as deeply as it would with any typical Alpha. In his case, it was a lot deeper, and more intense. It wasn’t mild enough to be labeled as a Beta’s growl. It didn’t do much to scare off his captors as the two holding him simply growled right back. Negan hushed and felt a need to duck in submission, which baffled him because if he was an Alpha, that instinct shouldn’t be there. 

He wanted to get away so he could examine himself, but he couldn’t put up the need to fight as he was still reeling from this bizarre new reality. He attempted to reach out to feel his inner bond, but it wasn’t there. Alphas couldn’t bond with other Alphas afterall, but neither could a Beta, so it wouldn’t be there. Terry’s mark was gone, which only proved that this was real. He wasn’t truly an Omega anymore. So just what was he? An Alpha or a Beta?

Nothing seemed real, especially in the case of his new captors. He couldn’t fathom why a pack would run around wearing the faces of dead men. He thought back to his reasoning for being found by them in the first place. Emma had sentenced him here, to be picked up by these so-called ‘chatters’. The term made a lot more sense now, however, it didn’t explain if Terry’s pack knew these ‘chatters’ were actually people. There were at least ten of them in this little group, and he felt well enough to take them on. Then he reasoned he was just exhilarated from his rebirth into his old class of people. He wasn’t yet back in tip top shape, but the good news was that he no longer felt like he was dying. The nausea was gone, and he could breathe again. All in all, he felt pretty great even though there was still a tinge of tiredness to his body.  


“I’m an…Alpha,” he decided, still in disbelief.

His head hung as he tried harder to wrap his brain around it. To be his old self again, at least as close as he could get, was something he had truly desired long ago, but things had changed greatly for him since then. He’d been pulled into a new pack that had come to terms with him. He’d had pups that loved him, and a few friends in the people he had tortured. Being an Omega had changed him for the better. Now whatever force had allowed him to live and be changed, had decided he deserved to go back to something close to an Alpha. 

It didn’t make any sense. He wracked his mind as he thought of the reason for the transformation. 

“I wasn’t, bit.”

A walker bite had started it in the beginning, but since then he hadn’t received another bite. There was an encounter with a swarm of walkers. The worst had been when he was sneaking past them in walker guts. Guts which had managed to slip through the protection of a sheet and seep into his…pores.

His mouth dropped in wonder at the possible answer. It almost seemed a little ridiculous, and not enough of a trigger to cause the change. Although, it hadn’t been enough to fully alter him into a full Alpha, but it had managed to make him close enough to it. He was sure it had to be the reason as it was the only thing he could come up with. Still, it left him wondering why it had taken so long. If it was really the fault of blood and guts touching his skin, then why hadn’t he changed sooner? All he could assume was that the pregnancy and the stress of the situation slowed it down. That, or his body had been slowly preparing to alter back into its semi-original state. 

_“Keep moving.”_

Negan turned to the person holding him on his right. His nose wrinkled in disgust from how realistic the effect of the masks was. He turned away and looked at the others around him. Having been so caught up in what was happening to him, he hadn’t realized just how far these people were carrying their walker act. They didn’t move like people. They shuffled along slowly with slow stiff movements which matched the motions of the actual dead perfectly. They’d fool anyone at a distance. That much had him wondering if they’d fool the dead as well, and if so, did that mean they actually traveled with them?

He thought back to the pack he had tried to escape. Either that had been one big pack of people or they had needed to compensate by wrangling in a few real dead ones. He couldn’t be sure unless he investigated further, even though he didn’t see a major need to bother. All he needed to focus on was finding a point to escape and getting back on the mission of finding Rick.

There was a terrible twist in his gut at the thought of his old Alpha. Now that he had returned to being an Alpha himself, he almost felt like he didn’t have the right to go after him any longer, especially after the way he’d screwed up. But Rick still had a right to know what happened to his pup. He grimaced bitterly at the whole matter but decided not to dwell on it for the moment.

“What’s with the damn masks? Is it Halloween?” he asked as a way to distract himself. “And where the hell you taking me?”

 _“Quiet,”_ the person on his left ordered. 

“If you’re taking me to some secluded place to be eaten, let me know now. I can run to the store and grab you a few spices.”

For that he received a harsh punch to the mouth and a hiss of warning. Negan chuckled softly. There was a giddiness stirring up inside him that he couldn’t explain. He rose his head tall, currently not feeling that annoying need to duck his head in submission. He was on top, and he felt the kind of confidence that informed him of his position.

However, none of that meant he was out of the woods yet.

“Are you people gonna kill me?”

No one responded with words. Then one of the walker impersonators walking ahead of him in the group turned around and stared at him long and hard. Negan narrowed his eyes and puffed up his chest defensively. Such an action sent a thrill of excitement through his core. How long it had been since he’d had that old feeling of Alpha specific empowerment.

“What the fuck you looking at?” he challenged.

From what he could tell, the man behind the mask frowned in anger before getting the attention of the person next to him.

 _“Some of us chased him,”_ the man said as he went back to staring at Negan. _“The Omega that ran.”_

Negan stiffened uncomfortably at the idea of some of them being the first ones he’d run across as a still pregnant Omega. 

The other person looked at Negan’s face closely then shook his head.

_“He’s an Alpha, or Beta, not Omega.”_

_“It was him,”_ the first argued.

 _“Confused,”_ the second reasoned. 

The man who’d brought it up didn’t appear satisfied with this answer, but turned back around. Negan hoped he would drop the subject completely. The last thing he wanted was for these freaks to end up picking up on his bizarre nature of changing. 

Negan turned his attention to his surroundings as they traveled. There wasn’t anything too familiar about it. They stayed on a rocky road for a while until the leader of their little troop ducked into the woods. Negan found himself groaning and tuning out. 

The whole thing was overwhelming. He glanced down at his body to make sure it hadn’t disappeared; that he was still an Alpha. Fear was starting to set in, making him doubt that this was a positive thing. He wasn’t at all sure what to call his change. Was it a gift, or actually another piece of hell he had to suffer through? Was it really right to label himself as an Alpha, or did he have no label? Adjusting to being an Omega had taken time. This was almost like jumping back in time, at the same time he could see himself as having to adjust to another new form. But as he thought on it more, he wasn’t sure he wanted to. He was supposed to be an Omega wasn’t he?

He sighed, hating the dizzying effect of uncertainty. He suddenly longed for Michonne, wanting her to share in this unique turmoil. Gabriel would also do. He’d be able to ease the panic and tell him this wasn’t anything to be afraid of. But if he kept flopping back and forth between classes, he’d argue it was most certainly something to be afraid of. On top of that there was the matter of his pups.

He didn’t believe they’d be frightened of what he’d become. To them, he’d still be their mother. But that was another matter in itself. Jake and Lucy, and the newborn, carried his blood too, and if, god forbid, they were ever bitten, did that mean they’d survive? Would just their status alter as he had? If so, it meant one very important thing; he and his pups were immune to walker bites. It wasn’t something he’d thought about after becoming an Omega. He had always naturally avoided the bite because who was to say that he wouldn’t be killed the next time it happened? He wasn’t willing to perform any tests to find out.

Negan looked up as they marched out into an open field. The only real point of interest were several tall stakes lining the earth before them like a kind of fence, or rather border. As the leader led them between the poles, Negan kept his eyes glued to them. He didn’t know what it was, but something about the border gave him a bad feeling. 

“You fucks taking me to your pack?”

Nobody answered. He searched the area and noticed a few roaming walkers. Negan tensed and jerked as if to flee. He had no weapon on him, and no means of tricking the dead with bloody sheets on his person.

“Don’t tell me none of you assholes see those walkers over there.”

The man holding his left arm, forced his head down sharply and gave a vicious warning growl.

 _“Hush,”_ he whispered.

A few bothered to look, but showed no sign of alarm. It was then that Negan had to remind himself of what these people were doing. Their slow shuffling, and of course the walker masks, were creating an illusion. He’d discovered his answer as to whether or not the dead were fooled by this group considering the fact that they weren’t acting as though a free meal was passing by. His captors were safe this way, so he did his best not to draw further attention. 

At the edge of the open field were thick trees. Negan’s stomach lurched at moving in deeper, especially when he noticed more random walkers nearby. 

“Are they your pets?” he whispered to the one on his right. Said person didn’t answer.

After at least twenty more minutes of traveling, signs of a pack’s territory came into sight. 

Negan gazed down from a hill that overlooked their home. Right away he got the impression that he was entering a tribe. There were no houses or trailers as the large pack appeared to live right out in the open, without any form of protection against the walkers other than the trees. There were a couple of simple lean-tos crafted from bound wood and mats crafted from a combination of leaves and blankets, but other than that there was little shelter for them. However, off to the side, he did see something of a crudely fashioned shack which was much larger than Terry’s and only had three walls. Positioned around it were a couple of intimidating men brandishing knives. Animal hides were stretched out like canvases, and here and there, little campfires were present for people to cook their meat. It could almost be a normal setting for a pack who seemed to enjoy the outdoors, except for the fact that they were all sporting the skin of the dead. Negan swallowed with disgust at the whole thing, and that disgust only increased when he moved past a few stakes that had the skins of human heads drying out for mask preparation. 

Several villagers looked up at their returning fellows, then narrowed their eyes upon seeing Negan.

“The fuck is going on here? Why’d you bring me here?” Negan questioned. He made an attempt to struggle against his captors, drawing the attention of the suspicion man in front of him. He drew a large knife and held it under his neck as Negan’s personal guards held him in place.

 _“Be still,”_ he ordered. 

Negan stared at him as he contemplated just making a break for it. In his opinion, none of these people looked particularly strong, although he reasoned it could be an illusion due to the way they carried themselves as false walkers. 

Negan was ready to say more, but fell silent when a particularly huge man walked toward them with heavy steps. Negan felt his mouth dropping. The dude was beastly looking and downright frightening with his dark mask. But unlike the others, it only covered the top half of his bearded face. With his dark jacket and coal colored eyes, he expressed the idea that he might actually be some unholy amalgamation of a walker and a human. He locked his unblinking eyes at Negan as he stood before them.

“Beta,” the guard on his right-hand side greeted normally now that they were out of danger of real walkers. “We have something for Alpha, from Terry’s tribe.”

It was a minute of uncomfortable silence before the Beta person broke it in a deep chilling tone.

“Alpha’s with the herd. Bind him up with the other one.”

Negan wasn’t sure why it set him off in a harder struggle. Two more men had to latch onto him to gain control as they began dragging him toward the makeshift shack. 

“NO! NO! LET ME GO!”

He wasn’t going to go through with this again. He wasn’t going to go through being another pack’s prisoner, and in another shack similar to the one he’d been forced into after giving birth. The oddity of encountering the new pack had worn off, and now it was time to truly panic. There was no courage. All he felt was pure panic. All he thought about was the pup he’d been forced to leave behind. 

Was Terry really behind this? Was this some sick joke of Emma’s? Maybe she was here with his pup, but if not, this would mean he was getting further away from it. He was getting further away from his goals, from his family, if he ended up in yet another prison.

“Fucking let me go! What the hell do you people want from me!”

No one answered, and the shack had quickly come into sight. Negan dug his feet in harder. When someone ran forward with a knife, he managed to kick said person away. Beta had intervened then by delivering a powerful punch to his gut. With a strangled cry, Negan doubled over. It hadn’t been an attack he could fully take as he didn’t have the strength to raise himself up. All he could do was allow the men to drag him inside the rickety looking place. 

He was dropped onto the floor facedown. Negan groaned as he felt his arms being pulled behind his back to be tied together. 

“Fuck,” he muttered as he tiredly raised his head just a bit. He didn’t think his situation could get any worse. 

Then, an intake of breath caught his attention. As Negan was pulled back onto his knees by his captors and tided to a pole behind him, he was able to get a good look at the person who had made the noise in front of him, and said person had his mouth dropping and his eyes widening to their fullest.

There, right in front of him, tied to another pole, but behind reinforced wooden bars, was the reason he had made this treacherous journey in the first place. Time stopped as they stared at each other; as Negan’s eyes began to water. Something about it was darkly hilarious yet it evoked an intense relief that threatened to have him bursting into a sobbing mess.

“Don’t cause trouble,” a guard warned in his ear. 

The masked lunatics growled before turning and walking away. Now alone with their first captive, the tears fell and Negan began to laugh.

“I-I found you,” he said in a shaky voice. 

At last he had found his Alpha—Rick Grimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally!!!! Rick's been found! I know it was quite a wait, but he's here at last. 
> 
> Very happy to get to this point which the whole fic idea revolved around. I know a lot of people were expecting/hoping Rick to come in and save the day, but I didn't want to do that this time around. Rick's been a prisoner, but I hadn't thought of involving the Whisperers, so the kudos goes to Vespera328 for that idea from a review on the first story. I feel like it fits considering the way they live and considering the names 'Alpha' and 'Beta'.  
> On top of that, Negan seems to have gone through another kind of _change_. Inspiration for it being able to happen came from the show, where Gabe got semi-blinded and sick from the walker guts trick. Here, Negan got sick and changed.  
> Well both are in quite a situation and have got some explaining to do to the other, and they'll do that next time ;)
> 
> [The line "I found you" was definitely a reference to Rick saying it from his final episode on the show]


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan and Rick catch each other up

Negan was barely aware that the so-called ‘chatters’ had left. His eyes were still glued on the Alpha behind the bars. If he hadn’t seen the slight rise and fall of his chest, Negan would’ve thought he’d stopped breathing. In truth he didn’t look far from being a corpse. His skin was pale and almost sickly. There were bags under his eyes and obvious bruises and marks from having been beaten and roughed up. His hair was disheveled an unkempt, as was the rest of his body from lack of proper bathing. Another thing that was noticeable was how thin he looked. Rick had always been somewhat skinny, but it was clear he wasn’t being fed all that well. Still, he wasn’t on the verge of dying from hunger.

Despite the changes from having become a prisoner, Rick was still alive. It was more than he could ask for, and it couldn’t have happened at a better time. 

Then his expression of relief fell as a part of him felt it was the worst time. The way Rick was staring at him reminded him of the times he’d used the same look when he was disappointed or pissed with his behavior. As his Omega, he was supposed to stay put. Instead he had fled and endangered his pup to the point where he’d actually lost it. On top of that, he had lost his status as an Omega. He was now on par with Rick now that he was an Alpha. The shame of all his failures kept him from maintaining eye contact with Rick any longer. His stomach twisted violently to the point where he feared he might vomit. 

“Negan.”

He cringed at hearing his name coming from his ex-Alpha. He even ducked submissively as though he were still an Omega, but then he straightened because that wasn’t a natural instinct for an Alpha to have. Still, he sagged against the pole, unable to face him. 

“Negan,” Rick tried again.

He was starting to think it would’ve been better for Emma to have killed him than face Rick’s wrath, but he deserved an explanation. 

“Negan, look at me.”

With a hard swallow, he finally faced him. Negan willed the shame aside in order for his relief to come through. He really was happy to know he was alive after all this time.

“I never wanted to believe you were dead,” Negan started after a long pause of quietness between them. “Some people thought you were, but I couldn’t believe that shit.”

Rick looked just as shocked as he had upon first seeing him, then his brow furrowed in suspicion. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked. “Did they…did the Whisperers attack Alexandria?”

“Whisperers? That what you call them?” He turned to the guards outside. Neither seemed to be paying heavy attention to them as they were chatting to one another. Negan knew it would change if they drew attention to themselves by trying to escape. 

“That’s what I heard them call themselves,” Rick clarified. “Did they attack?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t been in Alexandria in a while.”

When he looked back at Rick, the man’s shocked expression only increased as he studied him hard.

“You’re not…you’re not an Omega,” came his response, with a clear tone of awe mixed with fear.

Negan smiled sadly and dropped his head.

“Yeah…I’m sorry. I don’t really understand it, but I’m sure it’s from the walker guts. A walker bite turned me once, and now the fucking innards turned me back. Maybe. I don’t know if I’m really an Alpha, or just something caught in-between.” He didn’t miss the widening of Rick’s eyes. “I was using the trick to escape a herd—”

“Where’s…” Rick appeared to get paler as his eyes dropped down to the belly that was supposed to be big and round with their pup. “Oh God…please…what the hell happened to our pup!”

Negan tensed and dared to shush him for fear of drawing the guards’ attention. He looked around and noticed one looking his way, but he quickly lost interest and went back to chatting. 

“I…I…” His eyes began to mist over. A second later, a tear was falling down his cheek. “I’m sorry Rick. I…I’m so fucking sorry.”

The tears were running down fast. He wished his hands were free so he could wipe them way. 

“Talk to me,” Rick all but commanded. “What the hell happened to you?”

Negan released a shuttering breath as he dropped his eyes.

“I couldn’t take you being gone…that’s what happened.” He leaned his head back against the pole, staring up at the ceiling as the weight of all he had been through up to this point fell upon him. “I tried, I tried so fucking hard to wait for you, but when I couldn’t any longer, I left to find you.” 

He rolled his head to look Rick in the eyes. He could see a hint of anger mustering up behind the powerful blues. He knew why it was there, and it didn’t take long for Rick to voice the reason.

“You risked your pregnancy?” he growled. He jerked against the pole, making Negan tense. “As dangerous as it is out here you willingly came after me, with no thought to the safety of our child?”

“I know,” he replied, abashed. “I was fucking stupid. I let my instincts get the best of me. And because of that, I lost it.”

A sorrowful kind of silence took up the air. It was soon filled by a choking sob from Rick. He banged his head back against the pole and took a deep breath. 

“How’d it die?” Rick struggled to ask.

“It’s not dead.” Rick looked back at him sharply. “It’s just…not with me where it belongs. When I took off, I ran into some pack members. They were trapped, but it got worse since I ended up leading a herd straight to them. I helped them with the guts trick, but if I’d known they were assholes, I would’ve made sure they’d gotten eaten.” Negan paused as he took notice of Rick’s eyes which were blazing with a whirlwind of emotions. “They collected Omegas, just like I used to do. Their leader, Terry, was basically me, the old me. He…he…”

He shut his eyes and shook his head, not at all happy to remember the claiming ceremony. 

“What did he do to you?” Rick growled. He pulled sharply against his binds when the ex-Omega couldn’t answer fast enough.

“He fucking claimed me.” He banged his head against the pole a few times as more tears spilled. “He broke our bond, and after that, I was his.”

He was quietly fuming with eyes burning intensely, but then it decreased when he remembered the other side to it.

“The pup,” Rick begged in an empty whisper. Nausea was clear in his expression along with the horror. 

“I gave birth,” he admitted slowly. Negan could see as well as feel the heartache burning off the man. 

“And I missed it,” Rick gasped. 

The way he’d said it was like a punch in the gut. Negan shut his eyes tight to will back more tears before continuing. 

“I tried to get out of there before it happened, but I failed. Terry’s true Omega took it after he locked me away to recuperate. I don’t even know if it was a boy or girl.” He couldn’t help the sad laugh that left his throat. It was like some bad impossible joke had come true. “Sorry.”

“What happened to it?”

“Terry’s Omega started looking after it. I stayed locked up, and sick. I was so damn sick she thought I was dying, but instead of killing me, she had me dropped off so the damn Whisperers could get me. That’s how I ended up here, the way I am.”

Rick stared at him. The look of horror remained, but it fluttered with disbelief. In his absence Negan was supposed to stay behind with the rest of their children. It was his duty as his Alpha’s Omega, but he couldn’t even do something so simple. He hung his head and trembled, feeling as though he were back to being an Omega, fearful of whatever punishment his Alpha would dish out upon him.

“I’m sorry Rick. I’m so fucking sorry. It’s my fault everything’s so fucked up.”

Negan welcomed the look Rick gave him; one that didn’t appear to show any sign of forgiveness. He deserved it afterall. Had he just stayed put, he would still be an Omega and still have the pup. The consequence would be never finding out what had happened to Rick, but there might have been a chance that he would’ve learned eventually. Or maybe he’d go on never knowing, but at least he’d be doing his job in looking after the family.

“You shouldn’t have come for me.” 

Negan snapped his eyes up at the cold and forced calmness in Rick’s voice.

“I know. I wasn’t the only one. There were search parties, but they weren’t finding anything.”

“They shouldn’t be risking themselves. Not for me,” Rick argued fiercely.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Of course we’re risking it for you. You’re our fucking Alpha. We need you.” Rick dropped his head, looking unconvinced. “How did you end up here anyways?”

Rick gave a shaky sob as he leaned back on the pole and tried to clear his thoughts. He was still so overwhelmed by what he had just learned. 

“There was a herd,” he began quietly. “On my way back from the Kingdom, they came out of nowhere and swarmed me. The horse got spooked and I fell. I tried to escape after that, but two of the walkers grabbed me and pulled me away. I couldn’t even, think when that happened, and then they started talking.”

Negan understood the look Rick was imitating now. He himself had been there of course.

“I know what that’s like,” he added. “I ran into talking walkers just before I met up with Terry’s pack members. I thought I was losing my damn mind.”

“So did I,” Rick agreed softly. “Didn’t take long for me to figure out what was going on when they dragged me here. I’ve been behind these bars ever since, except for the occasional beating, and worse when I tried escaping.”

Negan straightened up as best he could to better look at him.

“Why though? What the hell do they want with you?”

“The same thing a lot of packs want. More members to build their numbers. But their leader, Alpha, didn’t just want that. She wanted to know where I came from. Who my pack was. I refused to tell them shit, so they tried to beat it out of me.”

“If they see you’re not talking, why haven’t they…killed you? I know they’re working with real walkers. If you didn’t join willingly, they could’ve turned you.”

A humorless smile breached his face. 

“I think it’s only a matter of time before that happens to me. Their patience is running out.” He sighed, then casted his attention on the guards before turning back to Negan with his voice lowered. “I made a deal with them that I would join their pack, if Alpha gave me a chance and dropped the interrogations. As far as I know it’s working, but I haven’t been able to gain their trust. So far they think beating me down and keeping me weak enough will make me live up to my promise. Tearing me down to the point where I feel I’ll have no choice but to start over again, with them.”

“Sounds like some backwards conditioning shit,” Negan growled. 

Rick shuttered at the power behind the small noise. Negan shrugged and gave an apologetic look.

“You’re more of an Alpha now than an Omega,” he stated with a semblance of surprise. “I still can’t believe it.”

“Me neither.”

“You’re back to what you were.”

An uncomfortable tingle struck his core at the words, and the guilt trickled in. He was an Alpha again, but that didn’t mean he was back to being the same guy. However, the Alexandrians would think so if they saw him, especially since Rick was already viewing him that way.

“I’m back to my old status, but I promise you, I haven’t changed,” he pleaded. 

Rick stared at him long and hard, then gave a nod.

“I have no doubt. I’m sorry, it’s just that, you bring up the bad memories and the painful feelings I’ve put in the past from your time as the Saviors’ leader. You’re, not mine anymore.”

It hurt, just as much as the hard looks did. Negan pulled his knees in as a way to curl in on himself as his nerves were struck. It was true of course. It started when Terry had claimed him. He had stopped belonging to Rick, and once he became an Alpha, it was fully confirmed. Alphas couldn’t have other Alphas, and upon hearing this truth from Rick, it felt like any possible hope of it not being true was dashed. 

When he looked at his ex-Alpha, he could see sadness swimming in his eyes. He twisted against the pole in pain, and Negan wanted nothing more than to be an Omega again; his Omega, and throw himself at his mercy.

“What about Jake and Lucy?” Rick suddenly asked. His concern had heightened.

“I wrote Carl a note to look after them. Michonne’s still in Alexandria. She has the pack, and soon they’ll have you. Now that I’m here, you have a chance to get out.”

“You got a plan?”

Negan’s shoulders drooped. 

“Not really,” he admitted. 

Rick shifted against the pole.

“Well for now, we can’t let on we know each other. No matter what they do.”

“I don’t know if I can take that Rick,” he said as he found himself imagining the Whisperers beating the crap out of him. It was bad enough he could see the results of their treatment on his face. “If they hurt you in front of me—”

“Since you’re new, you’re likely to be the target. But I won’t be able to do anything about it like this.”

“Don’t try anything at all,” he ordered.

The growl coming from his throat now was a lot stronger. He backed down and looked away when he realized what he had just done. Ordering Rick around was a sign of his old self. At the same time, it was natural for Alphas to direct orders, so he couldn’t feel too bad about it despite Rick’s expression. 

“What I mean is, I don’t want to see you get hurt because of me. I’ve done enough of that already, so what happens to me doesn’t matter. But I’m gonna fucking make it up to you. I’ll find a way to get you outta here, and get our pup back. I promise.”

He liked to think that Rick believed him, but he couldn’t tell just from his face. He didn’t get a chance to question it as the sound of feet entered his ears.

Several Whisperers were heading toward their prison. Negan tensed against the pole and resisted the urge to ask Rick what was about to happen. They came to a stop a couple of feet away from them and then just stared.

“What the hell?”

Then the crowd began to part as someone was making their way to the front. When said person made themselves known, Negan had a strong feeling he was dealing with the pack’s leader, who looked unlike the usual types of leaders he’d come across. She was big boned, and didn’t have a hair on her head. And unlike the rest of her kind, she didn’t currently don a mask. It was just her normal human face, albeit smudged with dark shading around the eyes and mouth. Her eyes were intense as she stared down at Negan who was speechless.

“Just what I like most,” she said in an accent he couldn’t quite place. “A new member for my army.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Negan makes a promise he hopes to keep, but he'll have to overcome Alpha somehow


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan must prove himself to Alpha

Negan wasn’t sure if she was referring to the army of the dead or the living souls wearing skins. Either way he refused to react to it. He needed to be calm and prove to her that he was worth keeping alive. If anything he felt a need to look over at Rick, but forced himself to keep looking at the woman.

“You’re interesting,” she stated as she moved a little closer.

“Thanks. I pride myself on being interesting.” He shot her a toothy smile. “And speaking of interesting, you seem rather interesting yourself. I take it you’re the leader of this Halloween party.”

“I am. I am Alpha, and this is no Halloween party. This, is how we survive.”

She looked back at her own masked men who swayed a little on the spot but kept silent.

“That’s a hell of a way to survive,” Negan complimented. “Never would’ve thought of it myself. I’d sure as fuck would love to learn more about it if you give me the chance.”

There was a slight smile playing on Alpha’s lips, stemming from some joke he’d apparently told. She moved right up to his feet and crouched down to his eye level.

“You’re an offering from Terry, and more times than most, offerings become a part of my army.”

“Well I get how that makes you stronger. Walkers are the greatest weapon any pack can have, but it’d be a waste for me to join that side when I can really do some good for you.”

“What can you do?” she challenged.

Negan rolled his eyes over to the masked crowd and spotted the beast Beta watching their exchange intently.

“I imagine I’m as big as that Beta bastard over there, which means I can be another muscle for you. If not, heavy lifting is another skill of mine. And if I have to cover my ass head to toe in a dead man’s skin, I’m ready and willing.”

Alpha cocked her head as she stared at him, seemingly taking in his words. A minute later she rose to her feet and nodded to her people. Two men came forward and dropped down to untie him. Negan shot a quick glance at Rick. He could see a small hint of concern behind his eyes, but other than that he was watching calmly. 

Once untied he was kicked forward to all fours. Alpha grabbed a hold of his hair and jerked his head in the direction of Rick.

“You see this man? Perhaps you’ve had a chance to get to know him.” Rick’s poker face remained in place, but Negan could tell his concern was growing.

“Not really,” Negan lied.

“My people ran across him when they noticed he was hovering near our territory at the time, and we took him in. He told me he’d consider becoming one of us, but I’m not sure I can believe him just yet. And now I hear the same thing coming from you.”

“I’d rather pretend to be a dead man than actually be one.”

He cringed as she moved in closer and began to sniff around his head, then at his neck. He tensed up as her other hand clutched a gland that was barely even there considering his change. Still, he momentarily reacted to it in a submissive gesture, but straightened back up quickly enough.

“What are you? You smell like an Alpha yourself, but there’s a trace of something else in you. Omega? Beta?”

“I’m an Alpha,” Negan declared with a confident growl to back it up. “I had a sickness that fucked up my body growing up, but I present as Alpha.”

Alpha released him, letting him plop hard to the ground. She started to pace around his form, growling as she did so.

“You are interesting. You’re unique because of that, and the last thing I want to do is kill something unique.”

Negan raised himself up and smiled.

“Does that mean I’m in? Where can I sign up?”

Two men grabbed his arms and hauled him up in response. Negan groaned in pain as he was dragged behind Alpha out of the shack and into the open. He huffed with discomfort as he was dropped on the ground again, this time surrounded by the crowd and out of Rick’s line of sight. He sighed and raised himself up in time to see Beta step up to him. There was no friendly look upon his face as he gazed down at him, but Negan still attempted to grin.

“I guess you didn’t like that crack about me being another muscle?” he assumed. Beta curled his fingers into fists and growled deep and hard. “Don’t take offense. I wasn’t implying that I wanted to take your job.   
We can work together to protect our Alpha.”

A heavy fist came swinging downward and caught him across the jaw. It was strong enough to knock him onto his back. There were a few growls of approval coming from the watching crowd. Negan heaved a couple of breaths before chuckling.

“I see. Gotta get my ass beat before I can join.”

A foot came swinging out next, catching him in his midsection hard. He cried out and curled in on himself, but that didn’t stop a rain of fists from pummeling his body. How he wished Rick was free and in shape enough to come to his aide. But he knew what that would mean. Besides that he had presented himself as an Alpha, which meant he was supposed to protect himself.

Another kick came down on him after the punches ceased, threatening to knock him unconscious. He rolled onto his side with a pained groan and coughed hard. He was given a chance to pull himself up onto his hands and knees and meet his attacker’s eyes.

“I gotta say…my mother could hit…harder than you,” he rasped.

Scowling hard, Beta moved in to deliver another kick.

“Enough!” Alpha ordered, stopping him before he could finish the swing. 

Beta groaned and stepped back into the circle of the watching crowd. Negan rested himself on his knees as Alpha circled in front of him, appearing to inspect him with a close eye. 

“Does this mean I’m in?” Negan asked with a sly smile.

She turned to Beta and snagged a large knife out of his waistband, then threw it on the ground before Negan.

“You’ll get a chance to get in if you can replace one of my own.”

Knowing where she was going with this, he took the knife. He tensed up from the idea that Beta would be chosen to fight against him, especially when she was standing before him looking between the two. Negan was ready to defend himself if she chose him, but he didn’t believe he’d conquer the beast. To his relief, she beckoned for someone behind Beta. The masked man wasn’t as big as her clearly favorite muscle, but he appeared capable of a fight.

“This should be easy,” Negan muttered to himself as he worked himself to his feet. 

His opponent came forward wordlessly with his knife raised and ready. The growls of his fellow pretenders expressed encouragement. It made Negan wonder if the man was really random or if he was Alpha’s go to for a fighter. He also couldn’t help wondering if Rick had to go through this same ritual.

“Alright you walker wannabe. Let’s see what you got.”

The Whisperer made the first move with a wild swing. Negan easily leaned back to dodge the knife and just barely managed to correct the grip on his own knife before lunging. The Whisperer dodged as well, but failed to dodge a kick to his legs. The man made to strike with a punch, but Negan maneuvered his arm aside and barely avoided another swing of his knife. Negan swiped at his neck, but he expertly leaned back. It didn’t stop Negan from continuously swinging. The knife became a short version of Lucille in his hands. 

“Stay still damn you!” he cursed.

His opponent didn’t make it easy as he danced around his strikes. At one point he managed to slash his shoulder. Negan quickly maneuvered his own knife up with a cry, getting him across the chest. As soon as he made contact Negan ploughed hard into him with the knife pointed straight ahead. He cried out in pain which only intensified once the knife was driven deeper from the fall. Like a madman Negan was yelling with power he hadn’t felt since his Alpha days. There was nothing meek about the cry at all. It was wild and commanded attention and silence from the crowd.

His opponent tried to strike with the knife from the left, but it fell from his hand once Negan pulled his weapon from his stomach and drove it down again in quick successions, yelling with each stab. The body jerked under his weight before falling still. Negan was left panting hard and staring into the opened human eyes behind the mask. The adrenaline rush he felt was invigorating, and unlike anything he’d experienced as an Omega. He breathed it in as he raised his head back.

“Goddamn…that’s, a feeling, like no other.”

He worked himself back onto his feet and faced Alpha with a grin.

“I hope this doesn’t mean I lose,” he said as he tapped a foot into the body on the ground. 

Alpha made a face expressing her indifference of the lost man.

“You did what I asked. You replaced one of my own.”

“Did I?” His eyes shot over to Beta who seemed to be seething. “If you really wanted to test me, you would’ve put me up against bigfoot over there.”

Alpha just smiled then gently took the knife from his hand.

“Beta’s my most loyal member. The man you killed, was ready to turn on me. He’s lost his loyalty.”

“Well, I hope that means I can get a fair shake in showing you my loyalty.” As if to prove it, he dropped down to his knees similar to the way an Omega would.

The Whisperer leader just stared at him, then indicated to her men to haul him up. Negan didn’t put up a fight. He simply waited for whatever she had next. On the inside he hoped it was enough to keep himself alive, at least until he could find a way to get Rick out.

“One act isn’t enough,” she stated. “But you are unique, and as much as I hate to bring this up, we are in need of people. I don’t believe in destroying something that doesn’t come along every day. If you really want to prove your loyalty I want to know why.”

“Ask me anything. I’m an open book,” Negan offered.

Alpha came in close and brushed the knife against his throat. The look she was giving him now made him swallow hard.

“You try anything, anything at all, you won’t get far.”

Negan gazed back at her and let his silence answer for him. She turned on her heels, and the men that had him by the arms, made to follow her. He glanced back at the shack now that the crowd was parting. He could barely make out Rick, and from a distance he couldn’t see his reaction. 

Up ahead, an uncomfortable distance away from the makeshift prison, was a simple camp complete with a lean-to. Close to the side was a rack with a few masks. 

“This your place? It’s lovely.”

Alpha ignored his compliment and settled herself on a blanket under the lean-to while the men set to work tying him to a nearby tree. He shifted in discomfort from the way she was looking at him now; like some predator trying to decide whether or not she should eat her captured prey. She shooed her men away once he was secured.

“I guess this means we can talk now,” Negan assumed with a shrug. “What do you wanna know?”

“What did you make of Terry’s pack?”

“Well considering they kicked me out, I don’t think much of them.” 

“Why’d they do it? I would think any pack would be eager to hang onto you, even Terry.”

He dropped his eyes as he quickly summed up the best way to put his story without raising any serious flags. 

“I guess you don’t know Terry as well as you thought. I mean he looked at me, but that was about it. I didn’t get the damn promise of protection from a pack that thought I was just an ugly motherfucker.” He slumped a little to express the idea that he was hurt. “I’ve struggled with rejection before all this shit. I didn’t think I’d still have to face it afterwards. But I was wrong. They treated me like shit in all the weeks I’d been there.”

“Terry’s pack is used to tradition.”

“Not you though,” Negan countered with a smile to show respect. “You’re different, and you’re not like anyone I’ve seen before. I didn’t hear that I was unique from Terry, nor from his bitch of an Omega. In my opinion none of that pack was really together anyways. That’s why it fell apart from the inside.”

Negan was pleased to see that she looked quite interested about the statement.

“Fell apart?”

“Yeah. Some of his own started up a little revolution.” He chuckled softly to show his amusement of Terry’s downfall. “I didn’t see since they had me locked out of sight, but I sure as hell heard it. Shouts and explosions of gunfire. It went to damn chaos before Terry’s Omega threw me out.”

“Emma threw you out?” Alpha asked, sounding skeptical.

“Under Terry’s orders. Terry was off dealing with the shit storm.”

He tensed as she suddenly got to her feet and walked over to him. Her eyes were blazing, and there was a low throaty growl emanating from her throat.

“How do I know you didn’t cause that shit storm? That they didn’t throw you out if there really was one?”

Negan kept calm and maintained his gaze.

“I would’ve loved to be a part of it, but like I said, I was locked up. I think they were planning to just execute me but decided to let your people do it instead.”

“If you were such an outcast for so long there, then why did they wait, so long, before they kicked you out?”

“Look at me,” he said while raising his shoulders. “They wanted more muscle on their team, but the price I paid for it was abuse. Terry decided it wasn’t work the pack getting distracted and riling up on me all the time, so that’s why I’m here. I know my only form of proof is being found by your people, but if you really look at me, you’ll see I haven’t been well taken care of. I’m thinner than I used to be for one thing.”

“And you think I can do something about that?”

She said it as though she was challenging him, but Negan made no show of being offended.

“If you extend your hand to me in a way Terry’s pack never did, I’d say it’s a good start. If I fuck up, I accept joining the damn dead, because maybe that’ll be all I’m good for as a freak.”

Alpha leaned back as she silently scrutinized him. Negan just kept his face impassive, but on the inside he was a bundle of nerves.

“Others on the outside, might call us freaks if they saw the way we live,” Alpha began. “It’s not a proper label, but I can understand it as it’s coming from people that don’t understand us. As far as I can tell you know what that’s like, and because of that, I’m willing to give you a chance.” She leaned in closer so that their noses were almost touching. “But, there won’t be second chances. You fuck up once, you won’t be breathing.”

Negan just smiled back at her and nodded.

“Fair enough. One fair shot is all I ask.”

Inside, he breathed just a little bit easier.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan works and chats with Alpha about the prisoner

Maggie took no pleasure in watching Lucy and Jake attempt to engage in play at the sandbox with her own child. It would be clear to anyone that they’d lost someone by the look on their faces. Being a parent herself, her heart went out to any young pup that lost a mother or father in some way. No child deserved that, nor did a parent if it were the other way around.

So it didn’t matter that they were Negan’s children. It never mattered before. It was just that in this case she hoped he’d be able to come back to them as much as she wished the same for Rick. 

“Have they been like that ever since they disappeared?” Maggie asked as Carl neared her.

“No. Some days they’re alright. It’s just, getting harder. Me and Michonne aren’t sure what to do sometimes.”

“Well, anytime you need a break, they’re welcomed here.”

“Thanks.”

She turned to him and ran her fingers through his mop of hair.

“How are you doing?” she asked, her voice heavy with concern.

Carl just shrugged and refused to meet her eyes.

“As good as can be I guess. The search party is still making an effort, but, they’re not going out as much.” 

The intensity of the grimace on his face bothered her. She sighed, and a moment later she was matching his expression.

“I’ve had some of my people scouting too. Even though they haven’t turned up anything, I believe they’re still out there.”

“Can I join one of your search parties?” he suddenly asked. He looked like an eager pup whose heart she didn’t want to break. 

“If Michonne won’t let you join searches in Alexandria, I can’t go behind her back and allow you to join ours.”

“But I want to help.”

“You can help by looking after your siblings. It’s what Rick and Negan would’ve wanted.”

But Carl was glowering and shaking his head as he backed away from her.

“I’m tired of everyone saying that. I have a right to help find them too.”

He stormed away before she could say anything more. 

 

There wasn’t a whole ton that Negan could do to prove he was trustworthy. The best he could do was hard labor. He’d do most of the brunt work in chopping down trees. Other times he was tending to the horses, making sure they were well fed and that their waste was scooped up and delivered out of sight. Being that he’d handled many dirty diapers before, it wasn’t something he turned his nose up at too hard. If it wasn’t grunt work, he was ordered to gather any form of vegetation he could find that was edible. 

All in all, none of it was difficult. They were the kinds of tasks anyone would normally be willing to do to stay out of prison. Unfortunately it wasn’t a case for Rick, at least as far as he could tell. For the first couple of days he believed it was inappropriate to ask about him, least he raise suspicion. Beta was already doing a bang up job by keeping surveillance over him and brandishing his knife at him whenever they made eye contact. 

At night, he wasn’t returned to their makeshift prison. He was tied to the same tree in Alpha’s private abode. It had been three days and he had yet to get a good read on her. She eyed him like a criminal, but was never harsh with him. He was in their group, but he had a long way to go to earn actual trust. 

Negan needed it though, and soon. He believed it was the only way to get Rick and himself out of the situation, even though he didn’t have any plan to follow. At one point he had considered trying to sneak past Beta to free Rick, but he never received an inch to do so. The only other thing he could come up with was build enough trust to be trusted as a guard. From there he’d figure the rest out. The thing was, he was still hesitant about bringing up their prisoner. 

The next day, while he was bringing a pile of wood from the woods into the camp, he noticed a Whisperer heading into the shack with a pouch. He knew it to be food as the Whisperers didn’t exactly own plates and bowls. 

“Feeding time for your star attraction?” he joked as he turned back to his own guard Beta. The man in question just growled, but Negan wasn’t put off. “Say, there’s been something I haven’t gotten to ask you yet. Is Beta your real name? If so, your parents were spot on about you presenting as a Beta one day. And how about Alpha? What’s her real name?”

Beta’s answer was to shove him harshly forward, causing him to trip and drop the pile of wood.

 _“Keep your mouth shut,”_ he growled dangerously.

Negan cursed under his breath as he dusted himself off and got to his feet. 

“Jesus, you don’t have to be an ass about it. I’m just trying to get to know my people better.”

Beta stormed up to him and pointed the knife threateningly at his neck.

“We are not your people.”

“You could’ve said that without pushing me. Damn.”

Despite the assault, Negan kept a smile in place and picked up the wood. He knew there was no point in acting friendly toward the man as he could already tell he’d never win him over. Beta was raring to kill him, and all it would take was one little screw up. He trudged onward with the pile, but his eyes kept drifting to the shack. He really hoped Rick was still doing alright. 

 

That evening, when he found himself tied down at Alpha’s camp, he decided to risk asking the question.

“Hey Alpha. There’s something that’s been chewing at my brain for a while now,” he started slowly. He waited for her to look up from skinning a rabbit, but she didn’t show any sign of being interested in what he was saying, so he continued. “I didn’t mention it earlier because I thought it might be inappropriate, but now I feel I have to ask for security reasons. I mean I wanna make this place my home, so I have to know that it’s safe.”

“What are you babbling on about?” she asked, expressing signs of frustration. 

“Your prisoner.” That made her stop. “Just how dangerous is he?”

She eyed him curiously, as if letting him know he was threading on thin ice with such a question.

“He’s not dangerous with the way he is now,” she assured him. “He’s guarded heavily and, he’s weak.”

“I saw that,” he said with a nod of agreement. “But he must have done something fucked up to get that kind of treatment. I mean damn, you were able to give me a chance. Why didn’t it apply to him?”

She bristled just a little as she got to her feet and walked over. For Negan it was worrisome, but he refused to let that show. 

“For one thing, he killed one of my people when they captured him, and he didn’t stop fighting us until we beat him down.”

“I’ve killed one of yours too,” Negan reminded her.

“Only because I allowed it,” she growled. “That prisoner, his name’s Rick, and unlike you he didn’t take an automatic interest in my pack. He insisted on making things difficult until he realized he had no choice but to appease me by considering joining my people. That’s why I don’t trust him enough to give him a chance.”

“Well, if it were me, I probably wouldn’t have bothered.” He gave a shrug to express that their prisoner didn’t seem to be that big of a deal. “I’d have killed him. But, I would damn make sure I learned as much as I could from him before I did.”

Alpha moved back over to her kill while giving a nod of agreement.

“He’s smart enough to keep his mouth shut about most things. Told us he was a wanderer, with no pack of his own. But considering how hard he fought, I was sure he was fighting because he had people to get back to.”

“Do you believe it?” His heart practically stopped as he awaited the answer. He wasn’t sure he could take it if she had discovered anything about Alexandria. Though he was sure Rick kept that much to himself if his bruises were anything to go by.

Alpha gave a partial shrug.

“At this point, I believe there’s some truth to his words, but at the same time I’ve come to not care.”

“Then, why keep him alive?”

She turned to him sharply and actually smiled. It wasn’t a friendly smile, but one that pointed out the fact that he should know the answer already.

“You’re an Alpha aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” he replied with a raised brow, unsure of where she was going with the question.

“Even if you weren’t, you should be smart enough to know that packs seek to grow, not diminish. People become more necessary as the dead rises.” Negan couldn’t help thinking she and her fellow Whisperers were factors in helping the dead rise. “Some packs are low on Omegas, but my pack is in heavy need of Alphas. I’m sure it hasn’t escaped your notice that there are several unbonded Omegas here.”

In truth Negan hadn’t paid much attention to the statuses of her people. His mission was far more important. But he knew what he had to say.

“Well, how could I not. I’m unbonded myself. Lost my Omega when the shit went down.”

“And you had no interest in gaining another?” Alpha had a look that said she didn’t quite believe that. 

“Lucille was that important to me.” He didn’t have to act depressed about it. That emotion came naturally to his face. “I mean I fucked a few when I ran into them, but for the most part they were weak and didn’t last. I stopped thinking about having that.”

He wasn’t quite sure if his words stuck in the silence that followed. He kept his head down to keep the affect going.

“You can have it again.”

Stunned at the offer, he snapped his eyes toward her. She was smiling, subtly so.

“Kick a dog in the balls while he’s down why don’tcha.”

“I’m serious. If you’re able to make that leap to truly becoming one of my people, you’re free to choose a mate of your own.”

It was the kind of offer that would excite any Alpha, but he wasn’t exactly a real Alpha anymore. Besides that, he had lived an Omega’s life for too long to find the idea appealing. If anything his stomach turned a little. Omegas didn’t go for other Omegas, and aside from that he still had Rick.

He grimaced and slumped miserably against the tree as he reminded himself that it wasn’t true. He didn’t have Rick anymore. The bond had been broken by Terry, and afterwards he stopped being a full Omega. He would also count the event of putting their pup in danger and causing it to get left behind as a sign of a permanent end between them. After all of that he didn’t deserve Rick at all.

“I…t-thank you,” he managed to say. Anxiety was starting to build, and he couldn’t afford to crack in front of her. He forced himself to keep it together as he turned back to the previous part of their conversation.  
“So, you’re set on getting this Rick fellow to be one of yours?”

“I was,” she said tiredly. She was now on the verge of chopping up the rabbit and separating its parts. “I want more Alphas.”

“That could be dangerous,” Negan warned. “Lots of Alphas clash.”

“Not under me they don’t.”

She’d said it so confidently that Negan believed it immediately. 

“Well shit.” Negan put on a big shit-eating grin. “I think I’m more in love with you already.”

Alpha didn’t acknowledge the comment.

“Don’t get too cocky over there. You’re not fully one of my own. As for my prisoner, his time’s running out.”

A gasp nearly passed his lips. 

“Wha…what do you mean?”

She held up the rabbit’s head by the ears and stared into its lifeless eyes. For the life of him he couldn’t imagine what was going on in her head. There was a twisted look to her eyes, and Negan had a bad feeling she was imagining that she was holding his ex-Alpha’s head. 

“I mean I’m not going to try any longer to make him one of mine. In a matter of days, I’m going to execute him.”

Negan stopped breathing altogether. And the minute she stabbed her knife into the rabbit’s head, he thought there was no way she could not hear the fierce beating of his heart.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan gets more work and learns more about Alpha

The next morning, Negan woke up with intense fear. He knew where it stemmed from, and he really wished it had just been a dreamed up conversation from his troubled mind. Rick’s days were numbered. Alpha was done and she was ready to give him the axe. His ex-Alpha, the father of his pups, and the true Alpha of Alexandria was going to be executed!

“What’s wrong? You seem disturbed.”

He reigned his thoughts back to Alpha who was currently untying him. Nearby, Beta watched with distrusting eyes to make sure he didn’t try anything.

“Nothing,” Negan answered, hoping he hadn’t sounded so nervous. “I was just thinking about that prisoner. Be a shame to kill him off when you’re in such dire need of Alphas.”

“Can’t be helped,” she declared. “Get to your chores.”

She gave him a shove to get him going and also to warn against discussing the subject further. But Negan wasn’t deterred. 

“Hey, could it be possible that one of my chores could involve feeding the prisoner?”

Alpha turned slowly on the spot, emitting a warning growl.

“Why would you want such a lowly job?”

“I don’t think it’d be lowly if I can do what your people couldn’t. As a fellow prisoner I can let him know that this is the way. That prick, or whatever his name is, has a better chance of believing what you’re trying to do here if he sees another prisoner going for it. That’s what you’re missing.”

He knew he might have overstepped as she was giving him a suspicious look. He couldn’t afford to give away that Rick meant something to him, and he tensed at the thought of having just given that away.

“Why?” Alpha began walking slowly toward him. “Why would you stick your neck out for a stranger?”

Negan just smiled and puffed up his chest.

“I’m always up for helping a fellow Alpha. Alphas stick together right? I mean, you were willing to give me a second chance.”

“He’s already had chance after chance,” she argued.

“But that was before I got here,” Negan answered easily. “I’d be happy if you gave me a chance to try. Helping folks is what I like doing best, and I like to think I’m good at it.”

It was clear to him that there was a struggle going on in her head as she considered his request. Then she waved a hand prompting Beta to step forward and take him by the arm to do his daily tasks.

“I’ll consider it,” was all she said before he was moved out of her sight. 

It was just enough to give him some relief. Surely she would let him try. Though she’d never outright said it, he was starting to get the impression that she liked him, which meant his standings for truly becoming part of her pack was strong.

 

For the next couple of hours, Negan fell into the routine he had come to be familiar with. There was more wood chopping and tending to the horses. Then something new was introduced as he was allowed to help a few masked men work on a fence to border themselves. 

Negan wrinkled his nose as he noticed a few wandering walkers on the other side of their border. If they got too close, one of the Whisperers would shuffle out with a low gurgle and lead them in another direction.  
“Shit, when do I get to do that?” Negan asked with false excitement.

A Whisperer handed him a roll of wire, then grabbed his shirt and pulled him close. He placed a finger on his lips and made a shushing noise.

_“Whisper. No noise.”_

“Right, sorry,” he whispered back.

He shuffled up to the fence and proceeded to follow their example of wiring wood together. It wasn’t a very strong nor high fence by any means, but he supposed the pack was using what little they could to try and make it work for a while. In the time he’d been there, he’d seen that the Whisperers used very few traditional objects. They were more reliant on the land and preferred acting as, well, animals. He hadn’t seen any of them carry a gun, but he knew it was highly likely that they had a stash of weaponry somewhere. As a prisoner, he wouldn’t be expected to know that much. At least not until he truly become one of them. 

 

Later that day, he was given a surprise as a Whisperer walked up to him with a pouch. Negan was on lunch break at the moment, eating a few scraps of apple and cut deer meat. The Whisperer dropped the pouch in his lap, then pointed at the shack.

_“Feed prisoner.”_

“Sure thing buddy,” Negan said with a nod. 

It was almost a struggle to hide his excitement. Ever since he’d been removed from the shack, he hadn’t seen Rick since. He could only imagine what the other man might have thought happened to him. Well now he would get a chance to assure him that he was very much still alive, and hopefully hint that he was working on a way to get them out of the situation. 

He hopped up, doing his best not to appear too eager about it. To his dismay, Beta proceeded to follow him. It wasn’t surprising. The giant would never trust him. 

“Am I supposed to spoon feed this shit to him?” Negan asked as he peaked into the pouch and found a couple of plums and slivers of meat. He grimaced at the type of diet Rick was subjected. “Who the hell’s the chef around here?”

Beta just growled and shoved him. 

As usual the guards were in close proximity of the shack, and with Beta breathing down his neck, he failed to see a way to start a safe conversation with Rick. There was a part of him that desired to warn him that his head was on the chopping block, but he reminded himself that the last thing he wanted to do was upset the man with such news. He wouldn’t let Rick start thinking that he really was fucked. 

When Negan entered the shack, he felt a quick tinge of panic at seeing Rick slumped forward against the wall, perfectly still. At least he wasn’t currently bound to the pole, but still, he appeared bad. Beta entered behind him and gruffed in impatience. Negan stepped forward and reached between the bars to get his attention.

“Hey, hey you. I got your lunch,” he said in a near whisper.

Rick was slow to come around and raise his head. Negan wanted to say he looked worse than he had the last time he’d seen him. He was certain he was thinner, and a few more bruises had made it onto his body, making him curse under his breath. His face threatened to crumble in concern, but at the last minute he pulled himself together to bring up an old wicked grin he didn’t think he’d ever pull at Rick again. Rick stared at him, bleary eyed. He opened his mouth, but Negan quickly beat him to the punch.

“My friend here and I thought you might be hungry.” He pointed behind him to let Rick know they weren’t exactly alone.

As Rick became more aware, Negan was pleased to see he understood the predicament. 

“I hope it’s a steak this time,” he answered slyly.

“We get what we can. You should be grateful for that.”

“We?” Rick inquired with a quirked brow.

“Yeah. Alpha’s been kind enough to give me something of a chance. Hell, it beats catching serious prison time.” He passed the pouch between the bars. With a shaky hand, Rick took it. “But that’s not the main reason I’ve joined up. These are good people. Alpha’s a good and worthy person to follow.”

Rick huffed in disbelief as he concentrated on searching his pouch. 

“I mean it. You could benefit from people like this Mr.…the hell was your name again?”

“Rick,” he answered simply as he met his eyes. His face gave nothing away, which encouraged Negan’s smile to widen.

“Okay Rick. Well since I’ve been put on food duty for you, I hope it puts us on the path to trusting each other. From there, I think you’ll start to believe what I said about these people.”

Rick stared at him hard as a way of trying to read between the lines of his words. 

“What makes you think I can trust you?” Rick asked cautiously.

Negan leaned in a little closer to the bars.

“Because Alphas got to look out for other Alphas, and because from what I’ve heard from Alpha, you don’t have a family. You trust me, I promise you’ll be free and have the family you deserve.”

He hoped Rick got the message clear enough because there was no way he could spell it out better without giving too much away. Rick’s poker face was held in firmly, but then he gave the most subtle nod as his eyes stayed glued onto his. Negan felt a thrill in his gut.

“Well, I’ll leave you to your super.” He straightened up as Rick settled in for his meager meal. “You consider what I said if you want to save yourself.”

“Yeah,” came Rick’s hollow response.

Not wanting to risk saying more, Negan walked out of the shack. 

“You won’t save him,” Beta suddenly growled in a forceful tone.

“That’s up to Alpha ain’t it?” Negan countered. “She told me you’re hard up for Alphas, so, it seems a shame to kill off every Alpha you come into contact with.”

A deep warning growl rumbled within his throat.

“She tells too much,” he muttered.

Negan was sure Beta didn’t intend for him to hear that much, particularly when it made him sound just a tad bit jealous. He wasn’t going to touch that subject least Beta ran into the shack and killed Rick just to prove him wrong about being able to help him. Instead he moved on to continue the rest of his work for the day.

It was tough, being that he had just seen Rick again. As hard as he tried he couldn’t shake the way he looked out of his mind enough to really focus on his fence work. He had been highly confident in being able to pull off some miracle to help him, but now that he was out of sight, the confidence was going down.

A sudden cry of pain broke him from his thoughts. From the other side of the barrier, the Whisperer who had been doing his part in leading stray walkers away, had apparently made some mistake that caused the walkers to go for him. No longer had they been fooled into thinking he was one of them, and in minutes, they were tearing into his flesh. 

“Aaahhh…Ah…HELP!...HELP ME!”

No Whisperer made any move to try. There was no point as the man was immediately overrun, and his coworkers lacked guns.

Negan gritted his teeth and followed the example of the others which was to stand there and watch as he was eaten alive. If anything he was thankful that wasn’t him. Out of curiosity he shot a look at Beta to see how he was taking it. The man was looking at him, smiling as though imagining that he was the one getting eaten.

 

Later that evening, Alpha surprised him by stopping her guards from tying him to his post. Instead she had him sit beside her near a pre-constructed bonfire. He had no idea what it was about, but settled down to watch as some of her people threw wood onto the flames.

“You saw that we lost one of our own,” Alpha said without glancing his way. He couldn’t really tell if she was saddened by the tragedy. If anything she seemed determined, yet her eyes held a curious kind of sorrow.

“Yeah, I did,” he said sadly. “I’m sorry I didn’t do my part to try and save him.”

“There wasn’t anything anyone could have done. All we can do is honor him.”

Negan nodded at the fire in understanding. 

“I hope you haven’t had to lose many,” Negan began gently.

“Unfortunately it happens, every now and then.”

It was then that Negan saw an opportunity to bring up a situation that could potentially put a plan into action.

“I hope it hasn’t happened to young ones.” When she looked at him, he elaborated. “I couldn’t help but notice there’s barely any pups around here. I mean I know you’re slim on Alphas, but that doesn’t change the nature of heats and ruts. Those things usually lead to newborns.”

“We manage, and we are as careful as we can be about it. But it is hard to keep pups alive at times.”

To his surprise, he noticed her eyes moistening up. That clued him into the idea that she might be able to connect to his own situation of losing a pup.

“I would’ve liked to have had a pup with my Lucille. Sadly, it didn’t happen.” He gave it a minute before completing his intention with their talk. “Have you been lucky enough to experience parenthood?”

Alpha shifted with obvious discomfort and dropped her eyes.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said in a low voice. 

“It’s, alright.” She huffed in a deep breath and forced her eyes on the bon fire again. “I had a pup, a daughter. Her name was Lydia.” 

“That’s a pretty name. Sorry you lost her. I bet she was a lot like you.”

She wrinkled her nose, expressing that she disagreed with that sentiment.

“Actually she wasn’t, which was why she got killed. She was thirteen when I lost her. We had occupied another territory, and there was a pack nearby with pups her age. She got interested and started sneaking off to see them.” Alpha narrowed her eyes as she turned away from the fire to look at him. “I started what we have here. I started our ways, but my daughter never fully believed in them. She tried, but underneath I could see she was weak. I tried to help her and stop her from seeking those pups and their way of life, but she wouldn’t listen.”

“What happened?”

She exhaled sharply and quickly ran a hand down her face. 

“Part of it’s my fault. I thought I was teaching her a lesson by letting her stay with that pack. I thought she might see it for herself and come home.” Alpha shook her head slowly. “She didn’t. That pack had taken her in as one of their own. I was going to write her off.”

“For staying?”

Alpha narrowed her eyes harder and peered at him closely.

“One thing I cannot abide by is weakness. You show it, I end you.”

“Well, good thing I’m not weak,” Negan said in a way to slightly lighten the mood. “So, you didn’t go after her?”

“I did after some time, but I found out the hard way, that it was too late.” She sniffled and dropped her head as she began to sway in her seat. “The pack’s gate had broken down and a swarm of the dead had gotten in. There were no survivors. Those pups she was so invested in were walking amongst the dead, just like my daughter.”

Negan swallowed hard as he suddenly imagined seeing Lucy that way; her eyes lifeless and her arms grabbing as she sought him for sustenance. He shook his head rapidly to rid his mind of the awful picture. 

“Jesus.”

“I put her down myself, and I took that dead pack as part of my own.” 

Negan felt partially at ease knowing Alpha hadn’t been as sick as to let her dead daughter walk as part of her dead army. 

“After that, I don’t blame you for not having another pup.”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to having another.” The smallest smile crept onto her face, making her look more human than Whisperer. 

“Well, that’s good to hear.” He paused and watched as a couple of Whisperers began to roam around the bonfire in a strange kind of dance. “I can actually think of a pup that could use a good mother like yourself.”  
Alpha turned to him looking uneasy, yet curious.

“What pup?”

“Back in Terry’s pack. They kidnapped it from some couple from another pack. Emma claimed it was an orphan and took it under her wing, but I can’t think of anyone worse to look after that child. It’s just a newborn after all.”

The curiosity fizzled out of Alpha as she leaned back and watched her people dance.

“I don’t bother with Terry’s people so long as they hold up the deal.”

Negan felt a rush of joy at this statement, now that he had the opportunity to steer it in a certain direction. 

“Well, you might not have much of a deal, for long.”

“What do you mean?” 

Negan dropped his head and fashioned a look of guilt upon his features.

“Well remember how I told you Terry’s pack fell apart?” Alpha turned to him fully. “Before that, there was talk.”

“What kind of talk?”

“Talk about ending the deal, and wiping your group off the face of the earth,” he said with an intentional graveness to his tone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Negan seems eager to start something between the packs


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan makes major progress with Alpha which leads to what he desperately needs

In a flash Alpha had ripped the knife from her waist and was holding it close against his throat. Naturally he was startled, but he kept as calm as he possibly could as he stared back at the enraged face.

“What trick are you trying to pull?”

“It’s no trick, it’s the damn truth.”

It failed to get her to remove the knife. She just observed him quietly with clear distrust showing in her eyes.

“If it’s the truth, then why haven’t you mentioned this before?”

“I’m sorry,” he said as he softened his eyes. “I didn’t know if I could trust you yet. While I was living in Terry’s pack, I’ve only heard the worst about you people the few times you were brought up. After spending a week here, I realized none of that shit was true. I’m glad you mentioned the deal because that shit almost slipped my mind.”

“You’re that forgetful,” Alpha said disbelievingly as she leaned away. She still held the knife at the ready. 

“I was overwhelmed by what you built here, and it’s not like Terry ever set a date of attack. But since they have fallen, I can see Terry making a play for this place. Using an attack on you guys to reset the order. Get everyone going after you instead of him.” Negan straightened up and leaned close to her, radiating with seriousness. “Now, I don’t know what kind of deal you got going between you, but from what I heard from the people, they’re not too fond of being connected to people running around in masks. They want to cut you lose.”

Alpha lowered the knife as a thoughtful look crossed her face.

“Are you trying to propose something?”

Now she was heading in the direction he needed. He shifted in delight and smiled.

“If anything, I propose we strike first. For the sake of our pack, and for the sake of that poor neglected pup. But this doesn’t have to be a full on slaughter. I’m sure some of those people might be worthy and safe enough to join us. You’re in need of more Alphas, remember?”

Alpha turned away and huffed, disgruntled.

“You sound like Beta,” she mused. “He never believed in forming the deal. Said we should just overrun Terry’s pack before they could do the same to us. I’m fairly certain Beta didn’t put those thoughts in your mind.”

“No ma’am,” Negan replied with a shake of the head. “He barely tolerates me. But I think the fact that your right-hand man and I are on the same page, is something you should highly consider. Might not be worth it to take a chance by keeping the deal with an already unstable pack. You got good people here, and I don’t want to see them get hurt.”

The ball was back in her court now, so he waited patiently as she rolled the idea around in her head. He didn’t need x-ray vision to know that the wheels were turning in her mind about his suggestion being a good idea. It also helped that it wasn’t the first time she’d been encouraged to attack. 

After a long couple of minutes, she took in a deep breath as her eyes settled on the fire once more. There was no more dancing at the moment. Everyone was quietly watching the embers take to the sky.

“I will have to take into account what’s best for my pack.”

“Of course,” Negan agreed.

“And if getting to Terry’s people first is the best move, I imagine you’ll want to come along.”

He knew what she was asking, and he had no intention of hiding it.

“I sure as hell do. I do have a damn score to settle, but, this pack comes first.”

She nodded, liking his answer. Negan settled back and continued watching the fire with her. He tried not to express his eagerness vocally or physically.

 

Luckily it didn’t take too long for her to come to a decision on his proposal. The next morning he awoke to a sharp kick to his leg. He gazed up tiredly at Beta, hovering over him with his large knife. It had become the common way in which Beta roused him. He used the knife to cut him loose from the tree, but he preferred scaring him first. Negan had always been assured that he’d be safe since Alpha was always nearby, but this time he noticed she wasn’t around.

“Where is she?”

Beta growled deeply then bent down to free him. 

“You know, you and I don’t have to be on different planets.” Despite how little the difference might make in trying to start a positive conversation, he went for it anyways. It was usually easier than putting up with the nerve wracking silence from the Whisperer. “I don’t suppose Alpha told you what we talked about last night?” Beta just pushed him onward to hurry him into starting his work. “Well, from what we talked about, I learned you and I have something in common. If I were you, I’d be fucking pleased that someone like me has the same thought process.”

“We’re not alike,” came a gravely reply.

“Oh I think we are. And I think you’d see that if you can get past that goddamn green monster. Jesus. I’m not out to steal your spot next to Alpha. I wouldn’t think twice about trying to move your giant ass. It’s obvious you’re close to her, but _how_ close is the real question.”

He suddenly fell sideways hard as a fist slammed into the side of his cheek. 

“DO NOT SPEAK OF ALPHA THAT WAY!”

He didn’t find it surprising that he was struck, but he was a little concerned that he might have knocked his jaw loose. He checked it for good measure before straightening up and bowing in surrender to Beta. There was no reason to continue any more niceties.

“Gotcha. Sorry.”

Beta didn’t accept the apology so easily as he grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him in so close that his hot breath was stinging his cheek.

“Alpha thinks you’re special because you’re some mixed up Alpha hybrid. I know better. You’re nothing. You deserve to walk with the dead.”

Beta threw him from himself and exhibited a warning growl with a puffed up chest, daring him to try something. Negan didn’t try anything. He just kept his head down and walked. 

As they made their way near the center of the Whisperers’ establishment, he noticed Alpha walking away from the shack with a couple of men following her. It made Negan come to a stop, more so when he noticed her unconsciously fingering her knife. From what he could see there was no blood on it, which meant Rick was most likely still alive. Still, it didn’t make him feel comfortable seeing her leave his prison with a scowl on her face. 

Negan found himself moving in the direction of the prison, but Beta grabbed his shirt and tugged him to an opposite path. He muttered an apology and headed off to feed the horses.

 

When Alpha came to him later that day, he basically had to bite his tongue to keep from asking about her visit with Rick. So instead he forced a smile in greeting.

“Come to join me in hard labor?” He threw the newly chopped pieces of wood aside then moved to gather more.

“Not exactly. I have an announcement to make, and I need you to be a part of it.”

“Well I am honored.” He finished it off with his biggest grin and a respectful bow.

She took nothing from the gesture as she turned away, heading toward the center of the field where a large number of Whisperers were starting to gather. Negan couldn’t help feeling good about this. He was certain he knew what to expect, and the idea made him giddy, but also terrified. As Alpha took center stage and looked around at the watching eyes of every man and woman, Negan knew his hope of freeing Rick and saving his pup rested on what she was about to say.

“Ever since the world fell apart, we have managed to adopt a new life. A life that works. I believe you all would agree that it works!” There were cheers and applause. Negan nodded and clapped for show. “We’ve had our problems with other packs, but keeping our distance has helped us survive. But, there was a time when I decided we could use a hand in gaining our numbers for the army.” Alpha ducked her head as though ashamed of this. “The deal I had made with Terry, six months ago, was designed to benefit us! It was the one and only time I was willing to allow this pack to work with the Outsiders. I thought it was a good thing. I thought I was helping us survive by making the deal, but it has come to my attention that the deal is no longer safe. We are at risk from the Outsiders. I had been warned before that it would be a matter of time before that happened. Some of you have warned me, and I’ve failed to listen.” She paced on the spot with her head down. “I’m listening to that warning now, and I do not take it lightly. We will sever our ties, and we shall take them before they can take us!”

An uproar followed with fists raised and intense growling. It appeared to be a strong sign that the majority of her people had despised the deal, but followed their Alpha’s lead regardless. There were a few, mainly Omegas, who appeared to be fearful of this idea. Negan assumed the deal most likely had to include some of the supplies they couldn’t manufacture themselves. 

However his focus was on cheering along with everyone else. Behind him he heard a low growl and noticed Beta looking at him with intensely sharp eyes. Negan assumed he wasn’t happy about him having inspired Alpha to finally yield to his advice. Beta had probably tried for months to get her to turn against Terry, and Negan had managed to shift it in a week. 

But Beta couldn’t ruin his mood by striking fear in him. Alpha had declared war on Terry, which meant he finally had his chance to retrieve his pup. After the long struggle of molding Alpha to his wishes, his eyes began to moisten and his heart drummed, heavy with the need to see his child at last. He resisted rubbing a hand across his eyes.

When the cheering died down, the crowd parted for a Whisperer to walk through with something folded in a cloth.

“Negan,” Alpha called as she addressed him dead on.

He was startled, and for a second he feared that she had somehow read his thoughts. She didn’t indicate it as she just beckoned him forward. Unsure of what was happening now, he stepped forward. The Whisperer with the item in hand began to unwrap it. Upon its reveal, Negan’s mouth dropped.

It was the skin from the head of some walker, big enough to more than likely fit his head. Long dark and gray strains of hair still streamed from the head, and the skin itself was grossly gray and scarred. The last thing he wanted to do was touch the thing, but he had no choice. He reached out and gave a gasp of awe as if he was suddenly holding gold. In truth, it was sickly to touch being that the texture of the walker skin was dry and bumpy. He looked up at Alpha, asking with his eyes if what was happening was real. 

“Is this really, for me?”

Alpha offered something of a half-smile that made her look halfway decent.

“This should be something earned, but if you’re going to war with us, you have to look the part. So long as you’re still fighting for us.”

“Fuck yeah I’m fighting for you!” he cheered. He glanced down at the mask again, smiling. “I’ve been waiting for this.”

There was no applause for his achievement; only low growls of congratulations. Negan really didn’t want to put it on, but naturally it would seal his loyalty. He hesitated only for a second or two before actually pulling the leathery human skinned mask over his head. The minute it touched his face he wanted it off. He didn’t insult her by removing it. Instead he swung his arms out and showed off his new look with a big smile.

“Tell me I look like a badass,” he growled as he pivoted back to face Alpha. He liked to think that she looked proud.

“I think you’re ready.”

He nodded in appreciation before turning back to the crowd. Their growls of approval had gotten louder. Naturally Beta didn’t join in as he stared back at him with his arms folded. The man was seething.

 

For the next two days, the Whisperers got to work on preparing. Negan was introduced to Alpha’s special weapons’ stash; a well-covered hatch in the ground under her camp spot. The most impressive thing about it was that they did harbor several guns, but the majority of weaponry consisted of various knives and spears. Among them, he did find one item in particular that caught his eyes.

“Found something you like?” Alpha questioned.

“I sure as fuck did,” he replied as he ran his finger over a large machete. It was no Lucille, but it would do for the time being.

“Then it’s yours,” Alpha confirmed.

Along with the machete, Negan was allowed one other weapon, so he chose a handgun. It disappointed him that she didn’t trust him enough to have one of the three rifles in the ditch, but he was grateful he was allowed the machete of all things.

 

Just before the day of attack, Negan visited Rick with his evening meal. This time Beta wasn’t breathing down his neck as he was too busy orchestrating a plan of attack with Alpha. Still, he didn’t dare let anything important slip as Rick’s guards were still nearby.

“Hey prick,” he greeted.

Rick slowly rose his head which had been bowed over his chest. Negan was dismayed to see that Rick was tied to the pole again. This time, only his waist was tied to it, leaving his arms free. On top of that his legs were also bound together. His eyes shifted to the bars where he saw areas reinforced with wire and rope. In other places on the bars, the wood was scraped up from the inside as if Rick had managed to get ahold of something sharp and hack away. It would explain the extra security measures.

“Planned on going somewhere?” Negan said with a nod to the tampered bars.

“Apparently not since it didn’t get me anywhere.”

Negan’s heart ached at his disheartened tone of voice.

“How’d you do it?”

Rick smiled and leaned his head back against the pole.

“Found a piece of wood to sharpen. I’ve been cutting the bars whenever I could. They finally caught me.”

Negan passed the food between the bars which Rick took gratefully. As he checked out his nightly meal in the pouch, Negan regarded Rick closely, as if trying to imprint his face into his mind before he left.

“Now’s the time to stop,” Negan declared seriously, in a whisper. Rick raised a questioning brow. “I mean it. Tomorrow, the pack’s going to war, and I’m joining them.”

It was the last thing Rick expected as both eyebrows rose up high. He could tell the man had a couple of things to say to him for that, but realized it was safer to force it down to avoid catching attention. 

“Who the hell are you attacking?” Rick asked.

“Terry’s pack.”

From the softening of Rick’s eyes, Negan could tell he had put two and two together about why he was enlisting in Alpha’s army.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” his ex-Alpha advised.

Negan glanced at the tampered areas of the bars again before meeting Rick’s eyes once more.

“Same to you.”

 

Finally the morning for battle had come. 

The horses were fed and ready with riders on their backs. A good number of Omegas carried spears while the few Alphas and Betas favored the few guns in Alpha’s possession, or knives. With dread building in his gut, Negan pulled his newly crafted mask over his head. He hadn’t made much of an effort to practice the walker talk or walk, but he had assured Alpha he wouldn’t find it hard to imitate. However for this battle, Alpha was certain she wouldn’t need a great army of the dead to bring down Terry. She was already aware of his pack’s numbers, and considering the information about the fallout, she theorized that the number had to have decreased. Still, she opted to bring at least ten and add to her army by turning Terry’s fighters.

Negan was both satisfied as well as terrified by the idea. He’d listened to the plan of attack, but the tricky part of it would be instilling a way to veer from it so he could rescue what mattered most. The battle could go either way, and he could not afford to lose his pup all over again after coming so close. He had to make it work…somehow.

“You ready?” Alpha asked as she walked up to him.

Negan reached for the gun, then took the machete and twirled it once in his hand before swiping it viciously through the air, eyes flashing as he imagined it cutting into certain people.

“Let’s fucking do this,” he growled fiercely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's fucking on!!!


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of the war on Terry's pack

There was the slightest tremble to his hand, and an uncomfortable warm feeling growing in his body as he followed the pack at a steady pace. It barely helped that his heart was pounding and his brow was starting to drip with sweat. Although the latter could have easily been from wearing dead skin for so long, but he doubted it. He certainly didn’t want to link it to another bout of fever, but he couldn’t help feeling that it was happening again. It couldn’t have been a worse time for it, but so far it was mild.

He pushed at the brow part of the mask to try and stop the falling sweat, then glanced down at his hands as he wondered if this was really a sign of himself shifting back from being basically a status-less being. If it was, would he return to being an Omega, or would there be even more confusion in what he was?

“You alright?”

He looked over at Alpha who was walking beside him on horseback. Her brow was furrowed in concern.

“Yeah,” he lied. “Just, a little anxious about this. I don’t want to…lose any people.”

“We won’t lose people so long as we stick to the plan.”

Negan couldn’t help a small whine that escaped him at the idea of nearing his pup. It wouldn’t be long until he was reunited with it, and the anticipation of that threatened to do him in on the spot. The attack would have to go smooth enough so that it wouldn’t end up hurt. All it would take was careless people.

“So long as they’re careful damn it,” he growled intently. “There’s a pup and we can’t risk it getting hurt.”

“It won’t,” Alpha assured him. “The pup is my chance to be a mother again.”

Negan said nothing to this, but inside he fumed at hearing yet another person claiming parental rights over his child. 

 

Soon they were within sight of Terry’s pack. A cold shiver ran its way down Negan’s spine at the sight of the familiar motel. It hadn’t been that long since he’d been kicked out of the place, but the horrors that he’d experienced there came back with furious intensity. He could almost cry, not so much from the torture he’d undergone, but from what lay within. He wondered if it was his Omega side encouraging him to feel suddenly highly emotional. He shook it off in order to concentrate as Alpha directed her troop.

They weren’t close enough to be seen by the guards, so they were safe. They broke off into three large groups. A small number of Omegas with spears stayed facing the gate. A group leading the small number of walkers moved off to the side, ready to spring when the gate was opened. Alpha got off the horse and handed it over to another Whisperer to ride while she resorted to walking. Negan followed her and the rest to an area of the wall where there were no guards. It would be the brick wall he had seen from his prison. 

This part of the wall was high, but they had Beta on their side. Negan had done his best to avoid acknowledging him, concerned that he might snap and just decide to take him out during the fight. When he glanced at him now, his face seemed set with his eyes glued to the motel. Apparently taking out the pack was a higher priority than tackling him, yet Negan would keep his awareness of him intact.

Once near the wall, Beta leaned backwards against it and readied his hands. A Whisperer stepped up and Beta boosted him up to the top. The man looked around for a minute before ducking back down.

 _“Clear,”_ he informed them.

He went ahead and climbed over the wall. Next came another Whisperer, followed by a third. Beta then nodded for Alpha to take her turn, but she moved Negan forward in her place. Negan was pleased that she was making sure he got up and over before she did. Naturally Beta express his hatred for him on his face, but he also showed it physically by giving him a hard boost up, nearly throwing him off balance. Almost immediately his eyes landed on the lonely shack, and for a second he had to close his eyes and take a deep breath.

He jumped up and dashed over to it where the others were waiting, ducking out of sight until the rest were inside. Alpha was the last to be booted up. She stayed on top of the wall so Beta could hand her spears and guns. Now it wasn’t just a tremble to his hand. His whole body was starting to shake, both from nervousness and the discomforting chill associated with sickness. The heat was growing worse, and the idea of laying down sounded nice. 

“You’re getting through this, you’re getting through this,” he muttered to himself with great confidence. A Whisperer in front of him glanced back at him suspiciously. 

Alpha crossed over to them and handed out the weapons. Negan retrieved his chosen machete and gun, and those alone were enough to empower him. Alpha took her own weapon of choice, a shotgun, and moved to the front of their crouching little crowd.

“Wait for the signal,” she reminded them.

Negan tightened his grip on his gun as they waited for Beta to head back to the front ranking group to inform them that part one of their plan had been a success. Negan shut his eyes again and did something of a silent prayer as he summed up Jake, Lucy, Carl, and Rick in his head. They were always his strength, and would continue to be for what was about to happen.

His eyes shot open at the sound of a cry of pain close by. That single cry was quickly joined by a second. 

It was time.

Alpha hurried forward along with those harboring riffles. Negan raised his gun as he pulled out into a scene of Alphas and Betas hurrying to the front with Omegas and unprepared Betas running off in fear. Alpha wasted no time in firing. Negan too was quick to jump the gun, getting shots at anyone going for any object that could make good for self-defense. Negan barely caught a lead pipe coming his way and swerved sideways to avoid and grab it. The startled Alpha couldn’t get away before Negan shot him in the face.

There were several orders being shouted out, but so far he hadn’t heard Terry, nor seen him. He did catch Jimmy running off near the kitchen station, doing his best to get Omegas out of the rooms while pointing in the direction of possible safety. It was a sad sight as it made him realize the Omega revolution hadn’t been completely successful. Some hadn’t managed to escape, but he hoped they’d be able to get out now. He swallowed hard as he thought of Sherry. Had she made it out?

“Hurry! Get to the guns!”

“What the hell is going on?”

Negan watched Ralph run up to Jimmy and yank him away from a door, then push him in the supposed direction of their own gunfire. Just then, a loud animalistic yell sounded in time with the bursting of the gates. The front ranking group had stormed in once Alpha’s bunch opened it. Wielding two long bladed knives, Beta immediately went to work at slashing his nearest opponents. Chris came running up, yelling with rage as he attempted to beat Beta down with a heavy looking shovel. Beta stopped it mid-swing, then swung his knife close, slashing his throat easily. Chris’s eyes widened in shock, and he feebly touched at the huge opening that poured blood like a waterfall. It was a glorious sight, especially when Beta went a step further by stabbing the other knife repeatedly into his stomach as he crumbled to the ground.

His arrival, along with the others was just in time as Terry’s crew had managed to get ahold of their guns and fire back. Whisperers charged in on horseback, firing from up high, all while leading in their mini army of the dead. 

Negan swerved out of the way of fire, making his way to the stairs. He had to get to Terry’s room.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!”

Speaking of the devil, Terry had made his appearance at last. He found places of safety while firing. 

“LET SOME OF THEM TURN!” Alpha ordered.

Negan barely noticed her stopping by his side as he etched around a car. He gripped the machete hard, suddenly overcome with the need to go for Terry. 

“The pup. Where is it?”

The question drew Negan’s eyes away. Before he could speak, an explosion went off nearby, causing them both to fly off their feet. Negan coughed violently from the mass of smoke. His head momentarily spun in a sickening way. His ears rang as he staggered to his feet. In the haze of the smoke, he could make out a figure that looked like Terry racing up the stairs to the upper level. 

“I got it!” Negan finally answered as he made for Terry’s room. 

He crossed paths violently with an Alpha. Negan took his machete and swiped almost blindly, striking him hard in the back. When the Alpha rolled over to use his gun, Negan struck his head. Said Alpha turned out to be Ralph who jerked violently from the impact then fell still. 

Hitting a recognizable face boosted him with an extra hit of adrenaline. He was a mad Alpha as he jumped to his feet and dashed up to meet the leader of his nightmares.

He bumped into another familiar face right away as Bode made to aim a rifle his way. The heavyset Beta was too slow as he gave Negan enough time to bury a bullet in his head. However he went down afterwards as someone tackled him hard from behind, causing the gun to go flying from his hand. Said person had a chain that he quickly wrapped under Negan’s throat. 

“You motherfucking freaks!” He shouted as he began pulling with all his might.

Negan gagged and he couldn’t breathe. He clawed hard at the strangling chain. And just when he feared this might be it, the chain slackened and man fell sideways, dead. Negan took a few seconds to regain his breathing and look for his savior. Alpha had her rifle raised in his direction. She gave a nod as a way to show she had his back. 

Negan returned it and hurried on.

He burst through the door. There was an instant scream of fear. Negan barely had a chance to acknowledge the fact that Sherry was there with her hands tied and attached to the headboard of the bed. She scrambled back to the corner wall. 

The bathroom door opened and a shot was fired, grazing Negan’s shoulder. He crashed against the wall. Terry tried another shot, but his gun was empty. Negan took that opportunity to rush him, but Terry had the idea first. He barreled into him hard, knocking him onto the bed. A fury of fast moving fists and kicks were thrown from both men. Negan wouldn’t have expected the Alpha to be capable of carrying his own in a fight before. 

“You fucks! WE HAD A DEAL!” Terry howled.

Negan found a moment to swing his foot sideways and knock him off balance. At that moment, he quickly swung a hard fist into his jaw, causing him to land hard on the ground. Negan pounced and held him down while grabbing ahold of his machete and holding it to his neck.

Both men were panting heavily and staring hard into the other’s eyes. Terry was beyond pissed, but what Negan admired most was the nice cuts and bruises he’d flowered across his face.

“We had a deal,” he growled aggressively. “Why the hell did you break it?!”

With a roar, Negan yanked him up and slammed him hard against the wall. With his other hand, he ripped off his mask. He heard Sherry gasp while Terry just looked stunned as his eyes grew the size of saucers, and his mouth dropped.

“Y-you’re…you’re dead,” he whispered in awe. “Emma told me you were dead!”

“Where the hell is she? Does she have my pup?!” Negan mustered up his infamous intense growl that he had given many times back in his Savior days; the kind of growl that caused bones to rattle.  


Terry didn’t appear too rattled. He was still at a loss on what was happening. Negan had no time and slammed him hard into the wall again.

“WHERE’S MY PUP!”

Terry started shaking his head slowly, still not understanding what was going on. When his eyes widened just a little wider, Negan assumed he had picked up on the fact that he wasn’t a full Omega anymore.

“What the hell happened to you? Why are you…I don’t…I thought you were dead!”

“I’m not, but you’re about to be.”

He jammed the machete hard into his abdomen, and the shriek of pain he gave was like music to Negan’s ears. Terry grasped at his hands in a pathetic attempt to get it out of his body. With a wicked grin, Negan yanked it upward. God how he marveled at the gurgling sound of agony and the sight of the Alpha’s precious innards spilling to the floor. 

Terry’s eyes rolled a few times as blood dribbled from his mouth. Negan held him steady against the wall so he could rip the machete from him, forcing a choked scream out of his one-time oppressor. Terry sagged to his knees, body jerking slightly and hands attempting to cover the huge tear. He managed one last look at his ex-Omega before falling forward.

Negan wished he had longer to relish in his death. Instead he made his way to Sherry briskly. She cowered fearfully as he raised the blade, but he brought it down on the rope tying her to the bed. He didn’t have time to gather the story of why she was there, but he guessed that she had become Terry’s replacement Omega. 

“Sher, where the hell’s Emma! Where the hell’s my pup?” he asked while quickly untying her hands.

“O-on the lower floor last I saw. Room one sixteen.”

“Thanks. You gotta get out of here now!”

“Negan, I don’t understand what’s—”

“I don’t have time to explain,” he said as he moved. 

He reached for his mask and put it back on, hating it. At the doorway, he paused and looked back at her with the smallest smile.

“Sherry, thanks for trying to help me.”

“Thank you too,” she replied. 

Negan turned and hurried off with a pounding heart and a sweaty brow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally Terry is dealt with, in the most painful way. Now to find that pup!


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of the war on Terry's pack

The battle outside was still as fierce as ever with the dead now fully a part of it. The tide seemed to be turning as Negan noticed some of the Whisperers falling. He wasn’t surprised to see Beta still standing as he wrestled with three men who were struggling to subdue him. 

Negan concentrated on dodging gunfire as he raced down the stairs and headed for said room. He prayed hard that he wouldn’t be too late. If anything he held hope that Alpha had at least been able to get to the pup before Emma could find a way to escape.

When he reached the room, the door was already opened. 

To his amazement, he had arrived in time to watch as Alpha flung Emma onto the bed.

“YOU FUCKING MONSTERS! Leave us alone! LEAVE—”

Alpha’s knife was jammed forcefully into her chest, freezing the Omega in place. She gagged, shocked at what had just occurred. 

“You will join my army,” Alpha hissed which frightened Emma even more. 

“N-not…m-m-my child,” she begged.

Alpha removed the knife and plunged it into her again, this time in her belly. Emma gasped and jerked as she made a weak attempt to raise up. A few tears fell, but Alpha wasn’t moved. She continued to rest upon her form until Emma fell back against the bed, wide-eyed and very much dead. 

Negan moved into the room, feeling only a small sense of disappointment at not having been the one to kill her. But it didn’t matter. The ruling pair of the pack was dead.

Alpha moved away from Emma and walked slowly to a corner of the room where a bassinet was stationed. For some reason Negan couldn’t get himself to move as he watched her reach down to pick the bundle up. An unexplained fear held him at bay, and his machete dropped to the floor.

“It’s alright little one,” Alpha whispered lovingly as she rocked it gently. “You’re safe now.”

It was only then did he realize it was crying loudly. 

He shook out of his stupor and staggered slowly forward, eyes glued hard to the bundle as though unable to believe he had birthed it weeks ago. The whole thing felt like a dream because he couldn’t believe this was happening.

“Is it, a boy, or a girl?” he asked in awe.

Alpha smiled at him as she faced him fully with his pup.

“It’s a girl,” she stated proudly.

Time stopped as he was at last able to see what he had brought into the world. Her crying settled down as Alpha shushed it in a calming voice.

“We should go.”

“Let me hold her,” Negan said quietly.

He reached out his hands and Alpha passed his daughter into them. As though he was handling porcelain, he brought her carefully up to his chest. That little face of hers was a clear union of him and Rick. Her little pouty lips reminded him of Rick, but her eyes carried his dark shade of brown. Dark strands of curly dark hair decorated her head and dropped over her brow cutely. Negan delighted in the way she wiggled in his arms and waved her balled fists.

“She’s gorgeous,” he whispered.

“Yes,” Alpha agreed as she moved closer to look down at her. “She’ll make a fine daughter, and I won’t make the same mistake I did with Lydia. God…she makes me miss her.”

Negan maneuvered away without taking his eyes off the now cooing pup and reached down for the machete. From there he laid the pup gently on a pillow on the bed. 

“What are you doing? We need to go.”

“She’s not your daughter,” came his cold reply. He turned away from his pup at last and looked at Alpha, eyes flashing. Alpha expressed clear confusion as Negan radiated with barely suppressed rage. “She’s mine.”  


Before Alpha even had a chance to say anything, Negan swung the blade, striking her deep across the throat. The look of astonishment on her face was almost as satisfying as Terry’s. He hadn’t known her the way he had the other Alpha who had become a living example of hell. Instead he knew her for what she had done to his Alpha, but there was a side of him that was grateful to her as he would never have gotten this far without her help. 

He forced her flat on the floor and brought the machete down a few more times, hacking away at her neck in the same manner he’d used when bringing down Lucille, ignoring the death rattling chokes and gurgling, and the growing pool of blood. He didn’t stop until her head was completely severed from her body, with her stunned expression frozen on her face.

He dropped the blade in favor of taking her gun which would be easier to handle given the circumstances. Then he stood on shaky legs, feeling as if he couldn’t quite believe what he had just done. 

“Thanks for your damn help, but I got it from here.”

With gentle hands, he pulled the pup into his arms. The cloth she was swaddled in was long and provided a way for the end of it to cover her face. He didn’t want to risk drawing attention to what he was carrying. 

“Okay baby girl. Time to go. You have a hell of a family waiting for you at home, and a hell of a father.”

Keeping the pup close, he peeked out the door. The battle was showing signs of wining down which wasn’t good. He cursed himself for the minutes wasted from not being able to shut away motherly instincts. But there was still hope. Everyone was still distracted, and there were enough walkers roaming now, many created from Terry’s dead members, to provide a kind of cover. 

He shuffled carefully and ducked around nearby cars. The goal was to reach the unoccupied open gates. Of course he would need transportation in the form of a horse to make it back to the camp ahead of schedule. Unfortunately most horses were currently in use. 

“Damn it,” he cursed under his breath. 

Well, if there weren’t any horses, he’d just have to make it on foot. When the coast was clear of heavy gunfire, he made for the gate with an amount of speed he shouldn’t have used. This mistake caused a shuffling walker near him to turn and make a grab for him. Said walker was Jimmy, and he was set on having his flesh. He sidestepped and nearly tripped while trying to avoid him. If that wasn’t enough, other walkers close by had taken notice of the commotion and were moving to surround him.

“Fuck…fuck.”

“Comrade.”

He looked up as a Whisperer rode toward him on his horse just in time to knock the Jimmy walker out the way with a heavy stick. He reached for the walker pack still coming for him. As the Whisperer leaned down to bat more away, Negan made a split second decision. He grabbed his arm and pulled him down to the ground. 

“Thanks,” Negan said as he swapped places by quickly pulling himself onehanded onto the horse. 

The Whisperer tried to get up in time to yell and attack him, but he didn’t stand a chance as the walkers converged on him, not fooled by his impersonation of them.

Negan gave no glances back as he rode like hell through the open gates. He practically had a death grip on the pup, treating his arm as a safety belt for her. She made noises warning him of a loud cry. There was no better time for it in his opinion. He too felt like crying. The uncomfortable warmness of his body was coming back into his awareness, and there were moments where things spun as he rode, but he forced himself to hold it together. He could fall apart once he got Rick and got them all back where they belonged.

Now that he was out of the immediate danger zone, his thoughts shifted back to Alpha. He could only imagine just how pissed Beta would be once he discovered his leader’s head, and he had no doubt he would know who was responsible. He wouldn’t be fooled into thinking one of Terry’s men had cut her down. Even if it had gone that way, Beta would’ve still blamed him. It would be the next battle to face, and hopefully the last.

 

Negan slowed when he reached the border. He already knew what to expect when he returned to camp. Only three men had remained behind to watch over Rick, and they wouldn’t be a match against bullets. 

“Okay sweetheart. This next part should be easier.”

He trotted the horse through as a sense of nervousness clung to him once more. Even though he had few foes to worry about here, there was always a potential for things to go wrong. 

“You’re gonna love your daddy,” he assured his pup. “He might seem like a prick as you get older, but it’s to keep you safe. Until then, you and me are gonna keep him safe.”

He swallowed hard as he made his way to the makeshift prison. He saw two of the three guards so he briefly searched around for the third one. The other two were alerted to his presence, making it too late to back down. They stood from their seat on a log, seeming to be confused as to why he was alone.

 _“Where’s Alpha?”_ one asked.

Negan sighed and dropped his head as if saddened, then he slowly reached for the gun in his pocket.

“Alpha’s dead.”

Without warning, he quickly raised the gun and fired a perfect headshot at one of the guards. The other was so startled he struggled to pull out his knife with a badly shaking hand.

“Don’t move!” Negan ordered. He stumbled back and raised his hands in surrender. He looked like a frightened kitten. “Where’s your other man?”

The guard tensed up and shook his head in a confused manner.

“I-I-I…don’t…know. I don’t, I…please.”

He dropped to the ground next to his partner as Negan fired a second shot. He didn’t have time to waste. Carefully, yet quickly, he slid off the horse. The pup gave a huff of discomfort from the movement. 

“Sorry baby.”

He snatched up the knife from his current victim, then turned to the shack. 

Rick was more than alert once Negan stepped inside. In fact he showed a bit of fear as well as bewilderment at the sight of a tall Whisperer with a pup in his arm.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Negan began in a darkly teasing tone. “I look badass as a Whisperer, but I think I like my old look better.”

“Negan?”

“Who the fuck else would it be?”

He carefully set the pup on the ground then pulled off the offensive mask. Rick was flabbergasted, then his eyes softened as they landed on the precious wiggling thing on the ground.

“And that’s…that’s my…”

“Yeah…she is.”

He almost chastised himself for getting choked up as he worked on cutting open the door of the prison. The only form of a lock was tightly bound rope.

“She,” Rick said, sounding just as choked up. Already his eyes were starting to water.

“Wait til you see her up close.”

He ripped the door open and immediately set to work on cutting him free from the pole. Naturally Rick was distracted by staring at his daughter. He could feel the Alpha’s eagerness to get to her.

“You did it,” he whispered in amazement. “You saved her.”

“I promised didn’t I?” Negan answered with a hearty laugh. “I try to keep my promises.”

The minute he was cut loose, Rick scrambled to his feet and headed toward her. Negan raised himself up and watched with a feeling of heartache as Rick gently lifted her into his arms. He looked as though he couldn’t believe that she existed.

“I missed it,” he muttered, making Negan’s heartache worse. “I missed…seeing her come into the world.”

Negan’s lower lip began to tremble as he thought back to that day when he had cried out for him to be there. One of the most important moments in his Alpha’s life, had to be missed because he didn’t stay at home where he belonged. 

“Rick, I’m sorry,” he began as shame coated his insides. “I shouldn’t have…I…”

“Don’t beat yourself up.” Negan watched in semi-fascination as he bounced the pup gently against him. Then he plopped a loving kiss upon her forehead. “I would’ve missed it anyways, and I’m sorry I did.”

When Rick met his eyes, Negan could see the horrible sorrow there. 

“Rick,” Negan began sadly.

Rick moved close and dropped a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

Negan blinked back oncoming tears and looked away from the man in favor of looking at what they had left that was shared between them. The emotions felt strong enough to bring him down, and he couldn’t afford that right now, particularly with the hint of a fever.

“We, we need to go. The Whisperers could be coming back.”

Rick gave a nod without looking away from his pup and followed Negan back to the horse.

“The good thing is, you’re both alive,” Rick said, desiring to focus on the positive as he shifted the pup back into Negan’s arms.

“Yeah, but I’m not the same.”

A loud pop sounded in the air, and in a flash Rick was crying out and falling against the horse.

“RICK!”

He’d been shot in the side, and the bullet had come from the third missing guard. Negan wheeled around, wasting no time in firing shots. 

“Get on the horse! Hurry!”

Rick struggled to do so while also trying to keep a hand on the wound. Once up, Negan handed him the pup, then hurried forward to try and get the guard who was using the trees for cover.

“Negan we gotta go!” Rick yelled

He didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to take the chance of being followed. He kept firing and dodging fire until his gun stopped firing. He cursed as he realized he was empty. Frantic, he turned for the horse and saw that Rick was already hurrying it out of the danger zone. Negan didn’t stop him as he ran after it, and once the sound of bullets faded, Rick stopped the horse so Negan could climb aboard behind him.

“You okay?” Negan cried, heart thumping hard.

“As okay as can be,” he panted.

Negan didn’t like the growing redness on his shirt.

“Hold onto her tight Rick. Gotta put this motherfucker on turbo before we’re safe.”

Rick ground down and encouraged the horse to gallop for their lives until the Whisperer and their camp was out of sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of things went down this chapter, but overall, Negan succeeded in freeing his pup and Rick. Sadly Rick was shot.  
> I had debated for a while on whether or not it would be a girl or boy. In the end I leaned toward girl as I had a certain name in mind. I definitely had a nod to the comics in there. Those who've read know it ;)


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl desires to do more while Negan and Rick make their way home

“You burned the eggs again, didn’t you?”

Carl groaned at Lucy’s ability to just know, but of course it couldn’t have been more obvious with the smoke rising thickly from the pan. He sighed and set it aside.

“Okay, so I’m not mom,” he shot back, “but I’m keeping you alive aren’t I?”

“Just barely.”

He shot her a sharp look before turning to their brother instead. He carried the same look of being unimpressed as he banged his fork on his plate in a bored manner.

“Well what about you Jake? My cooking’s been good enough hasn’t it?”

He looked at him, then turned to his sister before looking at him again.

“Can I lie?”

“Forget it,” Carl said with a roll of his eyes. “I should’ve stuck with cereal.”

He scraped the useless breakfast into the trash then reached up for some bowls in the cabinet. 

“Why won’t auntie Micho cook?” Lucy asked.

“Because she’s busy.” The reply was flatter than he should have used, but he didn’t bother to take it back as he set the bowls down in front of his siblings. With a heavy sigh, he started up a pot for malt-o-meal.

“I miss mommy’s food.”

She had said it low enough for Carl to know he wasn’t supposed to hear, but he had, and because he had he froze. It was hard to pretend things were going to be okay while denying how bad it was getting. And of course it never helped if their dad or Negan was brought up. 

He swallowed thickly and put himself on autopilot so as to complete breakfast. A knock on the door pulled him out of it, which he wasn’t too pleased about. Rarely was he in the mood for company nowadays.  
On the other side of the door was a face he didn’t see often. 

“Carl, good morning.”

“Morning Gabriel,” Carl greeted, feeling not so annoyed at seeing him. “If you stopped by for some of my famous burnt eggs, I’m afraid I’ve already gotten rid of them.”

“Actually I thought I’d invite you guys over for breakfast. Help you get out of the house more.”

“Well, I…”

He paused as Lucy came running up.

“He means we’d love to,” she answered for him.

Carl just shrugged while Gabriel laughed it off.

“I guess that means we’re going.”

 

Twenty minutes later, Carl was stepping outside onto Gabriel’s porch as the twins finished up eating nicely made pancakes. He could barely stomach a bite himself, not because they were bad, but because he barely had an appetite for anything good. He imagined it would be that way for a while, or until his dad and Negan were found. 

He leaned against the stair railing as his eyes settled on Rosita who was teaching a self-defense class not too far from them. Today’s lesson involved using knives effectively.

“Not hungry?”

He turned back as Gabriel exited the house. Carl shook his head.

“No. I think I’d rather try something else.”

“Hey, those pancakes weren’t that bad were they?”

Carl smiled and shook his head again.

“No. I’ve just got too much on my mind.”

“I understand. But have faith. I know that—”

“No!” Carl cried, suddenly very riled up. “I’m sick of hearing about how I should believe they’ll come back. I want to do something, not sit around and hope.”

Gabriel showed no offense to the yell. He just looked patient and understanding.

“Well what would you like to do?”

Carl’s answer was to start walking over to Rosita. She paused what she was telling the group as he approached.

“Carl. What’s up?”

He gazed back at her, face set and ready. He wasn’t going to sit back. Instead, he would go out there whether the others wanted him to or not. It had just been too long.

“Is it too late to sign up?”

 

The torn piece from his shirt was doing its best as a makeshift bandage, but the large spot of redness did little to keep Negan from becoming heavily concerned. Rick was holding himself up well on the horse as Negan walked him at a comfortable pace while also carrying the pup. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if Rick suddenly fell off the horse.

“You can stretch out up there. Well, as best you can on a fucking horse,” Negan informed him. “Why do you think I’m walking instead of riding?”

“I’ll be fine. It’s not as bad as it looks.”

Negan swallowed thickly and turned back to the road. It was a dull distraction, but a better one than watching his ex-Alpha’s pallor shift. 

“You have a name for her?” 

Negan wasn’t sure why he was caught off guard by the question, but he gazed down at the pup nonetheless.

“Not yet. I’ve been too busy trying to save us.”

“You did a hell of a job,” Rick complimented. Negan vaguely felt that Omega like thrill from being praised by one’s Alpha. 

“I started a hell of a problem,” he countered bitterly, eyes narrowing. “I put myself and my pup in so much shit, I’m almost amazed we even made it out alive.”

“That’s true,” Rick agreed with a serious tone of voice. “But if you hadn’t, I’d probably be dead.”

A chill went through Negan then. In the time they’d been traveling, he hadn’t bothered to tell him that Alpha was ready to end his life. He hadn’t seen the need for it. Alpha was dead and for the most part the struggle was over. Alexandria was getting closer and closer. Soon they’d be able to cross through the gates and see the pack they really belonged to. Jake and Lucy and Carl would be there, smiling, and he couldn’t wait to grip them into a powerful hug. In a matter of time they’d be home again, right where they belonged.

“Home,” he muttered so quietly that Rick didn’t pick up on it.

Now that he thought about it, he wondered if it was even right to call it that anymore. He wasn’t a true Omega anymore, and unless the mild fever reverted him, he would stand as a reminder to the pack of the old Negan; one that had terrorized them before his fate changed.

How could he go back as he was now? Teary eyed he lifted his head as he had to tell himself he was no longer Rick’s. 

Negan fell into an intense minute of coughing that forced him to stop to regain control of himself.

“Hey, you alright?” 

Now it was Rick sounding quite concerned. Negan just laughed it off and refused to make eye contact.

“Y-yeah. I was pretty damn sick when I left Terry’s pack, but I think it’s coming back.”

“What do you think it means?”

He looked up at Rick then, and saw the same questions rolling around in his head. This changed things of course, and neither were sure they were ready.

“I don’t fucking know. If…if it means this shit was temporary, then I don’t have shit to worry about. Things’ll go back to the way it was.”

“And if it’s not?” Rick pushed.

Negan found himself growling lightly while tensing up. 

“Then I have no choice.” His shoulders dropped as did the aggression in his voice with his next words. “I’ll make the sacrifice. I’ll leave, like I should.”

“What are you talking about?” Rick sounded astounded. “What about your sons and daughters? Are you really going to abandon them?”

“It’s not abandoning. I’ll move out. I can’t leave my pups, but, I won’t put you and them in that awkward position. Besides, it’s what’s best for the pack.”

“What’s best for me and the pack is staying together.”

“But what about—”

“It’s not about the past Negan,” Rick interrupted, knowing already what his argument was about to consist of. “And it’s not about tradition. The pack has come to see the changes you were capable of making over the years. They saw you become a good man. It doesn’t matter what you are now. This is who you’ve decided to be. A good man, a good mother. The past is behind you.”

Negan rounded on him, eyes blazing.

“They’ll see the past when they look at me,” he growled sadly. “Why the hell wouldn’t they? Me being an Alpha will remind them of what I did. I’ll be back where I started.”

A discomforting kind of quiet settled over them, which gave Negan the impression that Rick saw his point and agreed with it, which he didn’t want.

“If some see it that way, that’s on them,” Rick started thoughtfully. “Sometimes there’s nothing you can do about that, but that doesn’t mean the pups will, or me. As long as I’m Alpha of this pack, you’re not going anywhere. We’ll figure it out, somehow.”

Negan dropped his head, not fully convinced by the positive outlook on the matter. Then his thoughts drifted to his past, particularly the moment where he’d ended members of Rick’s pack. He saw himself laughing as Rick had to force himself into submission several times before him. He could almost drop from the weight of pain it caused him then.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to…to tell Jake, and Lucy, and this little one about what I did,” he said gravely. 

“Do you want to?”

“If I don’t do it, they’ll hear it from someone else. But, that’s not the real reason why I want to tell them. I think they should know, one day. If I don’t freeze up.”

“When that time comes, if you want me too, I’ll be by your side.”

A small smile graced his face at Rick’s words, but it didn’t last. He bowed his head and tried not to think further on the future. If his body was anything to go by, things were always changing. Maybe the Alexandrians would be okay with him if he was fated to live under his old status. Maybe for the sake of the newborn, they’d understand the need not to outcast him. The birth of pups did have a way of shifting hearts, and it wasn’t until Jake and Lucy were born did he start getting a better chance to prove that he could belong to their pack. Of course, the new pup wouldn’t be his only ticket into better acceptance. He had saved their true Alpha. When all other search parties had failed, Negan had managed to find and rescue Rick Grimes. He might have been injured, but he brought him back alive, and for that he imagined it might be like Rick had said; maybe they really wouldn’t go back to hating and fearing him. Maybe instead, they’d label him a hero.

He grinned, liking this idea. He’d done something he could be proud of, and he hoped it would last in the minds of the people for more than a couple of weeks.

The pride that had his chest swelling up dipped as the great gate of Alexandria came into view. Negan brought them to a stop and stared. 

“Home sweet home,” Negan said tiredly.

It seemed like ages since he’d last been here. Handling the patrol along the top of it was none other than Toby, who had frozen and was gawking down at them hard. Negan watched his eyes become as big as saucers before he turned around.

“OPEN THE GATE! HURRY!”

Negan looked up at Rick. He had brightened up upon seeing the gate, and a grateful smile had spread across his face. As the gate began to open, Rick looked down at him.

“Come on. We got a family waiting for us in there.”

Negan tightened his grip on the pup before leading the horse forward to return a true Alpha to his pack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time, the much anticipated reunion


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick and Negan come home

Alexandria operated as it always had with people going about their daily activities. It was just another day. There was nothing significant about it. There was nothing to expect. And then it changed the minute Toby turned around and shouted for the gate to be open. His tone of voice expressed enough urgency to get some people turning to him, but it changed the minute he added two extra words at the end of his cry.

“IT’S RICK!”

A shockwave went through all those who were present, and caused them to freeze in place. Carl had snapped his head around as he and the rest of Rosita’s class stared up at Toby. Michonne, who was currently walking and chatting with Daryl, gasped as her eyes widened and her mouth dropped. Neither of them were able to unfreeze themselves and hurry over to follow the command. The idea that Rick was just back after all this time felt more like a dream then a reality.

Aaron and a nearby Beta were the ones to quickly obey. They scrambled over the locking mechanism and together slid it aside. 

People were walking forward to get a better view. Jake and Lucy were now standing next to Gabriel on his porch with their eyes glued to the front.

“Dad?” Carl questioned with hope as his heart pounded painfully in his chest. 

Everything seemed to go in slow motion as the gate was slid aside. It was then that Carl dropped the knife he’d been training with as the figure of his father was revealed, perched proudly on a white horse. And standing by his side, holding the lead, was a worn looking Negan also holding something in his arms. Carl’s legs moved him forward while his brain struggled to work. 

“Oh my god,” Michonne gasped as tears sprung to her eyes. “Rick.”

Negan led the horse inside with a big grin on his face.

“Honeys we’re home! Did you miss us?” Negan greeted the pack. 

The words opened a floodgate of cheers and people calling out to Rick. But Aaron, being the closest to him, was the one to assist him off the horse, then follow up with a hug. 

“Finally made it home,” Aaron noted.

Rick patted his back as he took gratitude in the embrace.

“Wished it didn’t take so long.”

“You’re not the only one.”

All Rick had to do was turn to see one of the people Aaron was referring to. Standing a few feet away from him, trembling slightly, was his oldest pup. Carl’s eyes were moistening up. He could see his father clearly and yet, he wasn’t quite sure he was really there.

“Dad,” he stated in awe.

Rick’s eyes were also becoming wet as he smiled and gave a nod.

“I’m home son.”

As though he were an eager little pup, Carl hurried over and fell easily into his father’s arms. Rick held him close as his heart exploded with joy. There had been moments where he hadn’t been sure if he’d return. Being half starved and beaten on occasion easily led him to accepting the idea that he would die among the fake walkers. In fact, he had come to feel just as dead as the walkers until Negan had shown up. But having the realization that he had escaped and was now holding his pup, made him feel more alive than ever. He kissed the top of his head and relished the moment.

“I knew you were alive,” Carl said softly. Pure relief coated his soul as he accepted another squeeze from his old man.

“I am,” he agreed gratefully, “and I hope you held it down and looked after your siblings. Where are they?”

As if hearing their cue, they came hurrying forward.

“Daddy’s home! Daddy’s home!” Lucy yelled as tears flew wildly. But her tears weren’t coming down as hard as Jake’s.

“DADDY!” Jake practically screamed.  


Rick dropped to his knees with his arms wide as his own face crumpled into a teary mess. The twins running toward him, safe and thrilled, was the best sight he’d seen in days.

“Luc…Jake!” Rick cried. Both crashed into him with the force of rams, knocking him back off balance. Rick wasn’t bothered as he wasted no time in showering their cheeks with kisses. “You’re safe…you’re okay. You’re okay…I’m home…I’m home.”

Jake was flat out bawling into his neck, triggering Rick to do some serious patting on his back.

“We thought you weren’t coming home!” Lucy shouted in fear.

“I’m home now,” he assured her, “and I promise you’re not losing me again. I’m so sorry guys. I’m so sorry.”

If only the moment could last. Rick didn’t want to stop hugging his children, and Negan certainly didn’t want to break it up. As Lucy leaned back to wipe her eyes, she glanced up from Rick’s shoulder and spotted her mommy. Instantly a huge smile spread across her face as she ran to him.

“Mommy!”

“Hey there princess,” Negan greeted. He bent down and was able to offer a side hug and kisses on the cheek while still holding onto his newest bundle. “I hope you kept everyone in line while we were gone.”

She nodded fiercely just as Jake ran up to greet him as well.

“You came back too!” he said excitedly.

“Of course I came back,” Negan replied with a happy side hug as well. “There was no way in hell I wasn’t coming back to you guys.”

“Swear,” Jake couldn’t help pointing out, making Negan finally tear up and land a kiss on his forehead. 

“You’re goddamn right I swore, and it’s goddamn great to be home!”

It was like words of empowerment as the crowd suddenly erupted into the loudest cheer yet. Laughing, Carl stepped up to his stepparent for the same side hug.

“Don’t ever leave me in charge like that again,” Carl reprimanded teasingly.

“Couldn’t handle two four year olds?” Negan questioned with a raised brow. 

“I’ll just say I’m not thinking of having pups anytime soon.”

“Mommy, is that our pup?” Lucy piped up as she jumped on the balls of her feet to see.

Negan bent down again to give them a better look. 

“It sure as hell is. Lucy, Jake, Carl meet your new baby sister.”

Their little sibling wiggled in response to the noises of interests, but couldn’t be bothered to open her eyes. And with the pups cooing over the newest member of their pack, most of the crowd’s attention shifted from Rick out of interest in what his Omega had brought home. 

“What do you think?”

In response, Lucy kissed the pup’s forehead which had Negan’s heart squeezing in on itself.

“Can I hold her?” Jake asked.

“Well, how about we give your big brother that honor first, that way he can be an example of how to hold your sibling,” Negan reasoned.

Carl had his arms ready to receive her. His expression was very much similar to the one he had for meeting the twins for the first time. It was clear he loved being a big brother as his adoration for a new sibling was instant.

“She’s beautiful,” Carl said in awe. “I’m sorry I missed it.”

“I wouldn’t have let you watch that anyways,” Negan commented with a laugh. “You may be getting old, but you’re still too young for that shit.”

The happiness he showed upon his face, faltered a bit as he thought back to the birth and the horrors surrounding it. He shook it aside soon enough as he looked around to watch as the greetings of welcome continued for his ex-Alpha. 

Rick smiled and nodded to the random pats on the back and the countless words of joy from his return. And walking up next to greet him on a more personal level was a brightly smiling Michonne whose shoulders sagged in great relief. Wordlessly she raised her arms to pull him in tightly.

“Michonne…I have a feeling you missed me,” Rick joked lightly.

“I could kill you for scaring us like that,” she said with a relieved laugh. “God…I was starting to think…but you’re here. You’re finally home.”

“I am, and I’ll do my best not to scare you anymore.”

She glanced down and was the first to notice that he hadn’t returned to them uninjured.

“Jesus, you’re bleeding,” she cried, alarmed.

Rick ran a hand over his bandaged side and tiredly nodded.

“I’m hurt, but I’m well enough to see you all. I _need_ to see you all.”

Michonne gave him a ‘welcome home’ peck on the cheek before moving aside so Daryl could express what he was feeling in that moment. The normally tough Beta looked like a lost puppy as his lower lip wavered and his eyes misted over. He didn’t seem capable of even walking up to Rick properly, so Rick met him halfway.

“You’re home,” Daryl said simply. His voice was barely audible.

Rick’s smile widened as he pulled his Beta brother against him. 

“It’s good to see you Daryl.”

He could tell Daryl wanted to say so much, but more words wouldn’t come to him. Rick knew what more he wanted to share. He could feel that the man might have thought he was never coming back. He didn’t blame anyone for such a thought, not even someone as close to him as Daryl.

“I tried to find you,” Daryl whispered over his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t.”

Rick squeezed him tighter and ran his hand in a comforting manner through his long dusty brown locks.

“You have nothing to apologize for brother. I know you tried, and I’m sorry I didn’t make it easy. But it’s okay now, because I’m here.”

Daryl shut his eyes as he did his best to hold in a grateful choke, not at all caring about the audience around them. Daryl gave him a brotherly squeeze on the arm before taking notice of the man responsible for Rick’s return.

Negan was just accepting a nice embrace from a still smiling Michonne. At this point the tears were running down fast from her face.

“Jesus dreads, I guess I should’ve brought some Kleenex.”

“Maybe you should have,” she agreed as she wiped her eyes. “You know, that was a dangerous and stupid move, running off like that in your condition.”

“Don’t I fucking know it,” Negan said. His head dropped as shame automatically began to build within him. “I don’t plan on doing that shit again.”

She laughed, then took interest in saying her hellos to the new pup in Carl’s arms. And in her place, Negan saw Daryl standing a few feet away from him. Negan didn’t know what to make of the look he was currently presenting. He almost seemed conflicted, yet pleased. As he started making his way over, Negan tensed up. Maybe the man would punch him for some preconceived reason. Well if that was what he had in mind, he was going to shut that shit down.

He made to speak once he made it to him, but to his surprise, Daryl extended his hand.

“You found him,” he said with a mark of reverence in his tone and face.

“I…it wasn’t easy,” Negan startled, still feeling baffled. “More like fucking dumb luck. But, I’m just glad I was able to bring him back in one piece.”

Negan reached out and shook his hand as Daryl regarded him closely. Never had the man treated him in such a way. Negan was used to being a mark of evil in the man’s eyes.

“Thank you. Thank you for doing what the rest of us couldn’t.”

Negan started to respond, but became distracted by a new round of applause and a few cheers that were now directed at him. He almost couldn’t believe it. Right now, he couldn’t see any form of a stink eye directed at him. He wasn’t fully on the outs in this moment. He was part of the pack. He, was a hero.

“Bout time I did something right for you,” he said as he grinned at his new fans.

Just then, a small tug on his pants pulled his attention downward. Lucy was giving him a peculiar look. One that showed she was highly confused about something.

“Mommy…you smell funny.”

A look of fear quickly replaced the happiness as Negan knew she wasn’t referring to his hygiene. It turned out quickly enough that he wasn’t the only one to clue into her statement. The applause died down, and the expressions of the watching crowd began to transform to match the pup’s. With the excitement of their return, along with a new tiny member to the pack, no one had immediately picked up on Negan’s change in pheromones. 

“She’s right,” Carl agreed slowly. “You’re different. You’re not like, an Omega.”

Daryl took a step back, seeming to have second thoughts about his reaction as those nearest Rick caught the sudden quiet of the other half of the pack. Rick turned around and met Negan’s eyes as they both acknowledged the questions and awkwardness that was obviously going to come up. Lucy gave another tug to his pants which prompted Negan to rest a trembling hand upon her head as the terrible silence continued.

“Are you, still my mommy?” she asked with uncertainty.

“I am,” he assured her slowly. Then he raised his eyes to the crowd and puffed up his chest defiantly. Everything swayed momentarily in his eyes as the feverish feeling made itself known to him again. “It’s still me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll say this was a tricky chapter to write with several p.o.vs happening. But they made it here at last. Rick and Negan are home, but there may still be things to worry about.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan worries and experiences a change

The weight of their return had settled heavily on Negan’s shoulders by nightfall. He was perched on the porch with a bottle of half drunken soda in his hand as the pack continued an unplanned celebration with lots of food, drinks, laughter, and music. The thing was they were missing their star as Rick had been taken to the medical building for treatment. He had been capable of handling the greetings up to the point where awareness had broken out about the non-Omega he’d brought with him.

The mood shifted, but not some much that they were demanding that he vacate the premises. Once Rick was carted off for medical help, it had been up to Negan to explain their stories. Naturally they were stunned as it had been a hell of an experience for both of them. Afterwards the pack wasn’t quite sure how to respond. Gabriel had made the first move by hugging him, and letting him know that he was glad both he and Rick had made it back alive. The others followed his example and gave him the smiles and a few pats on the back to show their gratitude. And of course they took pleasure in meeting the newest little member, but as the hours passed, they became quieter around him. Now they weren’t sure what to do with him. 

He imagined they’d wait for Rick’s word on the matter. As the true Alpha, he’d have the deciding vote on what was to be done with him, but they already suspected that Rick had no intention of kicking him out; but that wouldn’t stop some of them from ignoring him.

He took comfort in watching Jake and Lucy laughing and dancing around with Dog not too far away from him, with Daryl supervising. They hadn’t abandoned him after his reveal of being an Alpha. They didn’t understand it, but what they did understand was that their parents were back at last. He shifted his gaze away from them to watch Carl, who was showing off his new sister to Rosita. The still nameless little bundle continued to draw attention, making him smile. His little sweetheart had made it through, unfortunately with some help from Emma. But she didn’t matter now that the pup was back with her real mother. However, the sad part was, he wouldn’t be able to act as a full mother to her. For one thing he would miss out on breastfeeding her, which had quickly become an experience he had cherished when he’d fed the twins at that age. Not having that made him feel he had lost part of the bond they would have shared going forward. The same could be said for the effect on his elder pups. Though they were past the days of breastfeeding, he felt the bond of Omega and pups was severely changed. 

“Hey.”

He offered a smile as Michonne wandered over and sat down next to him. 

“Hell of a story you told,” she continued.

“It sure as shit was, and every bit of said shit was true.” He rubbed his fingers over his brow feeling quite tired and suddenly painfully hot.

“I’ve no doubt.” The smile she wore on her face dropped to make room for concern. “You alright?”

He blinked as the world spun a little, and as a familiar ache began to bloom in his core. 

“Y-yeah, I…I could be getting sick again, like when I turned. If that’s what this is, maybe I’ll turn back.”

“Oh? That’s too bad. I was already getting used to you being an Alpha,” Michonne teased lightly, making him smile.

“You might be the only one,” he noted as he nodded to the still celebrating Alexandrians. “In case you haven’t noticed, my celebrity treatment’s worn off.”

Michonne looked out into the crowd as Negan downed the last of his soda.

“I think they’re overwhelmed, and they don’t really know how to respond to you,” she started softly. “Well, they’ve never really known how to respond to you. But I think you’ve earned major points by bringing Rick back.”

Negan leaned back against the stairs of the porch and sighed.

“I almost didn’t,” he said quietly. “Between Alpha wanting him executed, and that motherfucker landing a shot at him, I could’ve lost him.”

“But you didn’t, and you’re both here, safe, and so is your pup.” Negan nodded as he forced back tears of worrying on what could’ve gone wrong. “And speaking of…have you got a name for it?”

Negan just grinned and chuckled.

“I have a name in mind, but I want Rick good and well before I give it to him. He missed out on the birth, but, I want him to be there at least for the naming.” His eyes followed Jake and Lucy as they engaged in playing with a ball with other pups and Gabriel. Without consciously thinking about it, he began to growl in a protective manner. Michonne tossed him a curious look. “The naming can wait because we have a bigger issue that needs handling now.”

“The Whisperers,” Michonne guessed. 

“While we’re letting the Kingdom and Hilltop know about Rick, we should also start planning for the war to come.”

“Are you sure it’s coming?”

Negan nodded with much assurance as he wiped drops of sweat from his forehead. 

“I killed their leader. There’s no way in fuck it’s not coming. But we’re gonna get the jump on it. My pups, and these people, aren’t going to experience what me and Rick did. They’re gonna stay safe. I’m gonna make sure of it.”

He raised himself to his feet and ended up swaying dangerously as the world tipped sickeningly.

“Are you alright?” Michonne jumped up to steady him. 

“I’m, tired. I think I’m going to turn in.”

“Mommy, mommy!”

Lucy rushing up to him stopped his progress of entering his home.

“Hey there princess. None of those pups are being brats to you are they?”

She shook her head wildly.

“No. I want you to play.” She grabbed onto his arm and tugged a few times. 

He liked the look in her eyes; the look that told him she still adored him.

“I’m a little too tired for that right now sweetheart. Maybe…maybe tomorrow.”

Her little lip quivered in disappointment, but Michonne was there to distract her.

“What about me? Am I too old to play?”

The smile was back on her face. She latched onto her hand and tugged her away. Carl walked up next with his pup held protectively in his arms. He raised her up, figuring Negan would want to take her back.

“I hope you don’t mind watching her for, the night. I really need to crash after all the shit I’ve been put through.”

“You look a little…are you okay?”

Negan saw the clear concern on the kid’s features and he waved it off, not wanting him to worry. 

“I’ll be fine. I may be coming down with something, and the last thing I want is for this precious one to catch it.” Despite his words, he couldn’t help reaching out to brush a strand of hair affectionately across her face. 

“I’ll watch her,” Carl promised. “Especially since I know you’re back to take over.”

“I can’t wait to take over.” He brushed his fingers through the kid’s hair as his heart swelled from the happiness of being home. “Thank you for looking out for them.”

“That’s what big brothers are for.”

Negan turned to head inside, but Carl stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, Negan, I just wanted to say, I’m not offended that you’re an Alpha. If the others can’t accept it, then that’s on them. You’re still one of us, no matter what. You’re still my stepmother.”

Negan’s heart swelled to the point where he literally felt choked up. So instead of speaking, he squeezed his shoulder.

“Appreciate that Carl. And trust me, I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

Sleep didn’t come easily for Negan who hoped that the minute he dropped onto his familiar mattress, he’d find immediate peace of mind and body. Instead he was curling in pain as the fevery feeling kicked up to a terrible level. He hadn’t bothered to rise and alert Carl or head over to join Rick in the medical wing. He was sure he would be fine. If the pains were what he thought it was, then he’d allow it to ravage his body.   
After a while, he was too tired to stay aware any longer. As his body started shivering, he dropped into unconsciousness.

 

The light of the next morning made him groan and roll over into wakefulness. Aside from the lack of pain, one of the main things he took notice of was the lack of the Alpha that normally occupied the room with him. He glanced over at his empty mattress just as he remembered what had happened the previous day.

Rick was in recovery because they’d made it home. This wasn’t a case of worrying for his Alpha’s absence as he’d done before taking off to find him. He had truly found him, and the worst was over, or…still yet to come.

He sat up and ran his hands over his face as his mind reviewed what he’d been through, particularly the part about the pack registering his change from Omega to Alpha. But he had felt sick afterwards which signified that he might have…

He pulled his hands away and slowly looked down at himself to see if his assumption might have come true in the night. Right away, he noticed clear bulges on this shirt which implied his breasts were back to the size they had been when he was an Omega. With a gasp, he reached for the back of his neck. There was no mistaking the protrusion of a gland. 

“Holy shit,” he whispered. 

He eagerly jumped to his feet to better inspect himself. The lightness of an Omega body had returned. No longer did it feel like a powerhouse. Even without looking at himself he felt it deep down. He was back to being an Omega, which felt natural after all these years.

He spun on his heels, heading for the nursery that had been set up for the new pup. There was an instant need to scoop up his pup and seal their bond with a feeding. The minute he reached the doorway, he heard the noises of an early risen pup ready for a meal. 

“I’m here sweetheart. Mommy’s here.”

The tears rolled the second he reached into the crib. He cuddled her close as his cheek rested against hers. Her noises hinted at cries by the time he made his way to the rocking chair. Just sitting in it was enough to stir up the old motherly instincts which were a lot stronger as an Omega.

“I got you honey. Only the best for my daughter.”

He raised his shirt and to his relief, found his nipple already dripping with milk. His body was eager to respond to the newborn now that they were together again without the stress and separation. The pup was hesitant to latch onto him and even wrinkled her nose in question. 

“Trust me sweetheart, it’s alright. I promise it’s me, your real mommy.”

It seemed to convince her as she gave him a chance. Her little lips latched on and she began to suckle quietly. Negan sagged back into the rocker as a tingle of joy ran throughout his body. His eyes fluttered closed with the feeling of a special kind of rejuvenation rising within him. This was right. He was back in familiar territory where he was a much needed parent.

 

By the time he was setting her back down in the crib, Carl sprung up at the doorway. 

“Hey, I was gonna find some…” Negan turned and smiled at the look of surprise he was showing. “You’re a…you’re an Omega again.”

“I sure as shit am,” he said, pleased. “And you don’t have to worry about finding powdered milk. I’ll be able to take that area over.”

“Good, I mean, uh, I’m sorry you didn’t get to be an Alpha long.” Carl didn’t seem sure on how to respond. 

“It was fun while it lasted, but I think this is where I belong.”

Carl moved into the room and joined him in looking at the wiggling little bundle, now satisfied with a full belly.

“You know, I don’t know what to call her,” Carl pointed out.

“I know. As soon as Rick’s better, we’ll get on that.”

“Well, I was thinking Carla was a good one.”

“Carla?” Negan questioned with a raised brow. “Sounds an awful lot like Carl.”

“But it’s not.”

“Clearly.” He brushed his hand lovingly over her head, wishing the day could continue just as it was now. “Look after your siblings for a bit. I got a trip to plan for.”

“You’re leaving?” Carl growled. “You just got back! Where the hell are you going?”

“Easy kid. It’s an important trip. Maggie and the king have to know what’s up now, not later.” 

“They can hear that from anyone. It doesn’t have to be you.”

Negan knew how distressed he was, but there was no way around it unless he allowed someone else to make the trip.

“I know it doesn’t, but I think now’s a good time as any for me to get off to a better foot with them. And I think the truth is better coming from someone who went through it.”

Carl didn’t look convinced as he shifted from one foot to the other. He jerked uncomfortably and dropped his eyes.

“Just, don’t go alone this time. And make sure you come back.”

“That, I guarantee I’ll do.”

He headed out of the nursery, and paused right outside the door of the twins’ room. Gently he pried it open. Both were still fast asleep, looking quite peaceful as they rested. He could only imagine how hard it had been for them to drift off, not knowing what had become of him and Rick. 

Unable to help himself, he wandered into the room. Jake turned to him in his sleep. The precious bunny he always slept with was by his side. It was like a sign of things being normal again. He bent down and pressed a kiss onto his cheek, then turned and did the same for Lucy.

“Mommy?” she said tiredly as she woke.

“Sorry to wake you, but I just couldn’t help it. I had to kiss you good morning.”

“What’s going on?” Jake was sitting up and rubbing his eyes. Once he cleared the sleep away, they grew as large as saucers. “Mommy, you’re different.”

“You’re like you were,” Lucy cried happily.

“That I am.” She snuggled up to him, giving him a warm feeling inside. Jake scooted out of bed to join his sister’s side. “And I just want you two to know that I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you stay safe. It’s my damn job afterall.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Negan's change into an Alpha was always temporary. Though I liked the idea of how an Alpha Negan would have had to cope, he was always returning to what he's really become because of the bite all those years ago. One side of the title of this fic definitely points to Negan having gone through 'changes' from Omega to Alpha to Omega again.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan chats with Rick, then visits Hilltop

Negan pried open the door to the hospital wing slowly. An eager grin was plastered on his face as he imagined the Alpha’s reaction to his change. Right off the bat he noticed him leaning against the pillows with his eyes shut. He could tell he was just resting his eyes and not sleeping.

“Rise and shine prick, it’s a new day for you, and it sure as fuck is a new day for me.”

Rick turned to him as he entered the room. He looked much better after a day of rest and being cared for by Siddiq. With the grin still in place, Negan stretched out his arms as he presented himself to him.

“Well, notice anything different?”

His brow furrowed and his nose gave a wiggle as he obviously sensed a difference in him. 

“You’re you again,” Rick stated in a somewhat awed voice. They had, afterall, chatted about the idea that he could shift back considering his returning fever. 

“Well, I could argue that I would be ‘me’ again if I was a fully-fledged Alpha, but I get what you mean. I’ve been an Omega for so long, that really became what I am. Who I am.” 

He settled down in a chair next to the bed as Rick raised himself up further.

“Are you disappointed?” he asked. 

“Come on, do I look disappointed? Like I told Carl, it was fun and all, but I think an Omega suits me. I’ve got a brand new pup to feed afterall. And an Alpha who needs me.”

Rick gave a light smile and rubbed the bandaged wound on his side.

“You’re unclaimed at the moment, but if you plan to stay under my roof and look after me, that’ll change.”

“Yeah, but for now, you’re here being cared for by Siddiq. So, in the meantime, I think I’ll take some time to enjoy bachelorhood as an unclaimed Omega.” Rick looked conflicted about it, and he flexed his fingers several times while suppressing a growl. “With that bullet wound, who knows how long you’ll be here. Maybe years. If so, you’ll probably fall for some cute nurse Omega who’s got better hips than me.”

The joke got Rick to relax and even laugh.

“I doubt it. But hey, maybe I should keep my options open.” He glanced over at the window. “How are the pups? It wasn’t hard getting back into the swing of things was it?”

“I haven’t been gone that long. I still remember how to do the parent shit.”

“Good.”

With a feeling of discomfort, Negan landed his eyes on Rick’s bandaged side. He imagined it would leave a noticeable scar that would always take him back to the moment where he’d been shot. He never wanted to see Rick hurt like that again.

“How are you doing Rick?” he asked softly. “Are you, okay now?”

“Yeah. The pain’s not really there, so, I think I’ll pull through.”

Negan smiled at the small joke, then bowed his head as another matter surfaced to his mind; one he was wary of bringing up.

“Something wrong?” Rick asked as he had caught Negan’s concerned façade. 

“Yeah, it’s about the Whisperers,” he admitted through gritted teeth.

“What about them?” came the cold reply.

Negan leaned forward and clasped his fingers together.

“I don’t think we’ll see the last of them, which is why I’m planning to let Ezekiel and Maggie in on this new level of crazy. It’s time to start preparing for a war.”

“You don’t know that one’s coming.”

“I do know one’s coming,” Negan disagreed. “I killed Alpha, and that Beta bastard’s had it in for me since day one. And that guy that shot you, I wouldn’t be surprised if he managed to track us here. I wasn’t able to kill him remember?”

A small growl made itself known from the Alpha as he tensed up from the words. He was shaking his head in something of denial. 

“You gotta stay out of sight. Keep the pups safe and—”

“Sorry Rick, but I have no intention of staying out of sight.” Upon his affronted look he elaborated. “You’re out of commission and the pack needs someone to guide and prepare them. With the true Alpha out, that makes me second in command.”

“You and I aren’t bonded remember,” Rick shot back. “You’d only have a chance at second in command if we were.”

Negan had to smile at the loophole Rick was pointing out to him, and without a show of frustration he came forward and bowed his head low enough to give him access to his gland.

“Then by all means make it official. Claim me so I can.”

He felt jittery with anticipation of once again belonging to Rick. If there was ever a great way to wipe Terry completely out of his mind, it was to have his previous bond with Rick mended. But after a minute nothing happened. Negan glanced up to see a stern expression on the Alpha’s face.

“You’ll still have the idea of taking over if I do it.”

“You’d order me not to,” Negan countered.

“You’d defy me,” Rick groaned. “I see it in your eyes. Your heart’s set on this.”

Negan’s smile dropped a little as he understood the decision he’d already made. 

“I take it you’re not going to do this for me, are you?” 

“I can’t,” Rick said, sounding torn. “Not like this.”

With a clap on his knees, Negan raised himself up with a smile in place. 

“Fine.” He hated the sour feeling that twisted his insides at the rejection, but he forced lightness into his voice. “It’s better this way. As an unclaimed Omega, I won’t need your permission to take the lead.”

He turned for the door, ready to begin the work that came next.

“I’m still the Alpha around here, which means I have the right to order you to stand down. But I know you, and in that case I won’t have you alone in this,” Rick informed him as he leaned forward. “I’m gonna make sure Daryl and Michonne are next to you.”

Negan turned back to him with his hand on the door. 

“I appreciate that Rick.” He bowed his head against the door, then glanced at him again. “I don’t mean to hurt you doing this. All I want is to keep everyone safe. You’ve done a hell of a job at the controls. I just want, no, I need a chance to protect this pack.”

“You don’t have to prove anything to them Negan.”

“It’s not about proving. I want to do this, for me, and for you.” He watched Rick drop his head in thought, but Negan wasn’t sure if he really believed what he was saying. “After what I’ve managed to do in finding and saving your ass, you don’t trust me to be okay?”

A smile played on Rick’s lips before he turned to him with a nod.

“I trust you. Just stay safe.”

Negan nodded before walking out the door.

 

Nervousness couldn’t begin to describe how he was feeling as the Hilltop gates opened for him, Michonne, and Aaron. He had avoided the leader ever since her trip to Alexandria as he just could not face another backlash. He was sure she couldn’t have forgiven him for Glenn. He didn’t blame her. If he’d been in her position, he’d always hold it over her head. 

Members of the Hilltop stopped and eyed him with looks of surprise as well as wariness as he strolled through. He carried no grin upon his face as he didn’t want to give the pack some wrong impression of his visit. 

“Negan,” Kal, Maggie’s top guard greeted as he quickly stepped into his path to prevent him from walking all the way up to Barrington House. He glanced over his shoulder and nodded to Michonne and Aaron.

“I think, considering my companions, you know I’m not here to hurt anyone,” Negan said with only the faintest smile showing.

“Actually, I was going to welcome you back.” There was an interesting smirk playing on his lips. “You’ve been gone a while, you and Rick. Did you find him?”

“I did, but you’ll hear more about that after you fetch Maggie.”

Kal took a moment to think on it before turning and leading them up to the house. The Beta leader made her appearance as soon as they made it to the stairs. He was pleased to see the surprised look on her face, but it soon shifted to caution as she folded her arms and stared hard into his eyes.

“You made it back,” she observed.

“I sure as shit did,” Negan said with a grateful nod, “and I wasn’t the only one. I brought Rick back too.”

The surprise was back, along with a great look of relief that caused her to gasp in joy. 

“Rick’s back?” she asked eagerly. “Is he, okay? What happened?”

“I’m doing fine by the way. Thanks for asking,” he said with a pointed look. She dropped her eyes upon realizing her mistake.

“I didn’t mean to…how are you Negan?”

Negan chuckled softly.

“I’m fine. I mean it.” It was only then did she notice that his belly just happened to be flat. Before she could refer to it, Negan beat her to it. “Yeah, I had the pup. A girl. You should stop by and have a peek at her. She’s gorgeous.” 

“I just may have to do that. But first, tell me what happened? Where’s Rick been all this time?”

“I’m glad you’re starting with that question because that’s the first thing I want to talk about.” He looked away from her and caught the very curious eyes of her people. He had no doubt they were doing their best to listen in. “Why don’t we take this conversation indoors. I think it’ll be easier on both of us.”

Maggie frowned, but saw his point as she too took notice of her people. Wordlessly she beckoned him to follow her into her home. The intense nervousness he’d had earlier decreased since Maggie hadn’t gone out of her way to bite off his head. She’d been nicely civil with him, which he hoped was a good sign of them starting over. 

 

The disgusted look on Maggie’s face was fitting after Negan had explained everything he and Rick had been through. She had turned green with the mention of the things Terry had put him through, and flat out paled when he described the birth and separation from his pup. When it came to the Whisperers, she appeared to be confused and rightly disturbed. Enid was seated next to her and mirrored her reactions. He was ready to hear her deny that such people could exists.

“Let me get this straight. These Whisperers, run around in human skin?” she chose to ask. 

“It’s their way of living apparently,” Negan said with a shrug.

“Sounds pretty farfetched,” said Enid.

“I gotta agree. It does sound hard to believe,” said Maggie.

“You can question Rick if you don’t believe him,” Michonne said with only the slightest air of a challenge. “He was the one who had to suffer them the longest.”

“I don’t doubt there are crazies out there, but this is something pretty unique.” She leaned forward while giving Negan quite the business look. “You took care of this Alpha person, and you’re sure Beta’s coming for you? You’re sure he knows where you live?”

“I think it’s a matter of time before he strikes, and with his posse. So fuck yes to all those questions. Rick was the first to encounter them, and I think that’s a sure sign they would’ve met all of us eventually. Now, the last thing I want to do is start a war—”

“Really? You seem pumped for one.” 

“I think it’s a matter of wanting to keep us prepared,” Aaron said in defense.

“He’s right. Now I started something when I made the first blow, but that shit had to happen for Rick and my pup to make it. I’m willing to pay the damn price for it, but I’m hoping I won’t have to, so long as other packs have my back.”

Maggie looked thoughtful as she leaned back in her chair. Negan hoped he wouldn’t have to play the Rick and pups card in order to win her over. It was no secret she cared for them more, but for once he just wanted some acknowledgement without having to tie himself to his partner and children.

“What about the Kingdom?” Enid asked as she looked between him and the others. “Are they going to help?”

“Rosita and Daryl went to speak with Ezekiel,” Michonne answered. “We’ll know what he says once they return.”

“The Kingdom has long since been an ally to Alexandria,” Aaron added. “I can’t see the king not coming to our aide after what happened to Rick.”

“You’re still our ally, aren’t you Maggie?” Negan leaned forward with a raised brow. “Not counting my beautiful ass, I’m sure you still care about Rick’s pack, or have I ruined that for you.”

A haunted kind of smile made it onto her face before she gave a hollow little laugh.

“I wouldn’t say you’ve ruined it.” She blinked a few times then stared at him dead on. Negan found himself squirming uncomfortably in his seat from her gaze as the guilt began to stir up. “I’ve have enough years to, accept things and find a way forward. But I won’t lie. It’s still hard. This is hard.”

“I understand.”

“But I do want to try.” At his confusion she elaborated. “I want to try, and have a better peace of mind about you.” She dropped her eyes as a wave of discomfort rolled through her. “When you disappeared, I gotta admit I wasn’t torn up about it. If anything I was thinking of your pups. But I came to feel something else. I came to feel sorry that you weren’t there for them. I’d say that’s a step in the right direction.”

“It’s as good a step as no step,” Negan said, shrugging. “Nice to know you’re trying to care about me.”

Maggie huffed and focused on all of them as a whole, signifying her desire to move on from this specific point in the conversation.

“I have to give it some thought. My people won’t be eager to fight, but being that they kidnapped Rick, I see no reason why they wouldn’t want to…”

She drifted off as her attention shifted to the window behind them. She frowned as she got to her feet and walked over.

“What’s wrong?” asked Aaron.

“There’s some commotion out there.”

Maggie didn’t bother to wait and figure it out. She hurried out of the office with Enid on her heels. Negan turned to his companions before following behind as well. 

Outside, people were gathering near two members that had apparently gone on a run and were just returning. But Negan didn’t see any sign of the treasure people normally brought back. Instead there was a body slumped downward over one of the horses they were leading, and there was nothing but anguish to be read from the men’s faces. Negan got a very cold feeling as he walked up to Maggie’s side.

“What happened?” she asked. She answered her own question as she moved to inspect the unmoving body. 

To his horror, the person turned out to be Jesus. Moving closer, Negan could see a bloody stab wound in his back that had resulted in the man’s death. Maggie gasped and backed away, shocked.

“What the hell happened?”

The two Betas that had gone out, glanced at each other with obvious uncertainty before one chose to speak.

“We, we thought they were walkers. It was a small number of them that were walking in this direction, so we decided to take them out.”

“Jesus did most of it,” the other started, “But one of them, Christ…one of them swerved like a person and back stabbed him. We didn’t see it coming.”

The crowd was beginning to murmur sounds of disbelief. 

“Walkers don’t fight like people!” someone cried.

“Tell us what really happened!” another demanded.

“We thought they were walkers,” explained the first Beta, “until we looked at one and saw this.”

He reached into his satchel and pulled out the thing Negan had had the displeasure of getting acquainted with up close—a Whisperer mask. Maggie took it in her hands and stared at it as though it had just suddenly appeared out of thin air. Then in a quiet and slow manner, she looked at him. He already knew what she had on her mind.

“Get a count of the guns and all your best fighters. Time to shut those goddamn Whisperers up for good.”


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of the Whisperer war

It was as if a dark joke was being played, because Negan thought it was odd he was winding up in two wars almost back to back. Of course he could have sat it out. Even though he had informed Alexandria about the plan of attack, he didn’t have to lead the front like a General. Daryl and Michonne were more than capable of taking the lead. It also wasn’t a case of low man power. They had the people for the fight to come with the Kingdom set to join along with Hilltop. That alone helped them outnumber the Whisperers.

So all in all he could have stayed at home. Rick wanted him too, but Negan just couldn’t change his state of mind. This was personal. No one else had really experienced the new terror aside from Maggie and her community. Alpha’s pack had taken Rick, so it hit Negan particularly close. He had been Rick’s mate afterall, yet packs were known to adopt new Alphas to lead. Rick could have easily been replaced once the searches officially declared him dead, but to Negan, there was no replacement even if the claim had long been revoked. 

The latter didn’t matter much now that Rick was safe, and he was grateful that he wouldn’t be in the fight. He’d finally been allowed to leave the medical wing to finish healing at home. The pups couldn’t have been more pleased, but at the same time they were shadowed with worry for Negan’s departure. They didn’t know the details, but they sensed that it was dangerous.

Negan picked up a rifle, one of several guns that were currently laid out on the table in their armory. As he ran his fingers over it and tested out his handling of the weapon, he couldn’t help feeling like he was being reacquainted with an old friend. Aside from Lucille, he had handled a similar rifle as a Savior.

“Can you handle that one?”

He looked over at Michonne who was currently cleaning her katana. She was one of several members who currently occupied the space with him, going over the inventory on guns.

“Why? You got a suggestion?” He eyed her sword and smiled. “Did I forget to mention that some of those assholes have guns?”

“No you didn’t,” she said with a smirk.

She appeared quite determined to make use of her chosen weapon, which made him crave his old favorite of the past.

“You know, you may have something there.”

He set the rifle aside and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” asked Rosita.

“There’s one sweet number that’s missing from this picture.”

Almost as soon as he set foot back outside, Carl came up to him, face set. Negan knew immediately what he wanted, and he already had an answer.

“Before you say no, I talked to dad. He said I could help.”

Negan raised a brow at this, but oddly enough he didn’t find it too surprising. 

“So, daddy’s finally treating you like a man huh?” he teased with a grin. “There’s been plenty things I’ve felt you were old enough to do, but in those times Rick saw the pup in you, not a growing Alpha.”

“I’m not sure that’s totally the case,” Carl said as he considered his words.

“Yeah,” Negan admitted after a moment. “In truth, he does know you’re growing up. But this is a war. It’s no kid stuff.”

“I know.”

Negan grabbed his shoulders and faced him dead on.

“Then you should know when to flee and not to bite off more than you can chew,” he stated seriously. “If you’re gonna do this, you listen to me, or Daryl, or Michonne, or anyone older than you.”

“I will.”

“And I won’t pretend Rick only agreed so you could watch out for me.”

Carl smirked and nodded before heading inside. Rather than check in with Rick about the situation, he headed straight for the supplies shack where newly raided items wound up before being properly distributed.  
He rooted around box after box until he found just the item he was looking for. With an expression of awe, he pulled out a bat that had been found ages ago. He recalled Carl swinging it around and making a remark about him needing to start a baseball league. He sighed from the nice feeling of that day. It was a mark of the simpler times in Alexandria. 

“You’re no Lucille,” Negan commented as he tested the weight of the bat. He even gave it a few good swings. “Even after I get through with you, you won’t be able to replace her, but I’m sure she won’t mind the birth of a Lucille 2.0.”

He swung it over his shoulder and sighed heavily as he took a brief moment to think about his past Omega. He couldn’t help wondering what she would make of what had happened to him recently. Would she believe he deserved to be alone after all his failings, or would she understand?

“Lucille baby, I bet you wouldn’t believe that I went back to being an Alpha for a while,” he started quietly. “But don’t worry. I’m not like I once was. I’m helping these people. I’m being someone you can really be proud of, I hope.”

He ran a hand over his brow and headed out of the room, ready to focus on another item he needed. 

Sometime later he had tracked down a small roll of barbed wire and a box of long nails. He settled down at one of the picnic tables and set to work on crafting an updated version of his much beloved bat. As he wrapped the wire, his mind tended to shift to memories of creating the first Lucille. From there he couldn’t help but think of all the times Lucille turned someone’s head into mush. He grimaced sourly and his stomach turned when he saw Abraham and Glenn getting the same treatment. 

“I’m sorry,” he found himself muttering. He suddenly felt amazed that Maggie was trying to move on from what he did. “I’ll make it up to you. I’ll make it up to all of you.”

By the time he was finished, the bat had a nice thick coating of barbs mixed with sharp nails that protruded from the wood like spikes.

“Now that’s what I’m fucking talking about!”

Excited, he swung it hard several times though the air. He felt more eager to head out and fight the good fight.

“You better watch your ass Beta, because this baby’s ravenous.”

 

On the day of their intended war, Negan had found himself in a personal battle against nerves. They were doing this; they were about to head out to the Whisperers’ territory and settle the matter once and for all. He felt ready for it, but naturally he was anxious for himself, as well as Carl.

“I’m impressed that you’re allowing him to come,” Negan told Rick as they watched him conversing with Michonne and Carol. 

All around them people were readying their guns and running last minute plans and strategies with one another. 

“I believe he can handle himself. Plus, you’ll be out there.”

“I bet he’ll be covering my ass more than I can,” Negan joked. He turned his attention to the newborn bundle in Rick’s arms. He really liked the way he cradled her. “You know, I came up with a good name for her.”

“I’ve told you before, we’re not naming new pups Negan,” Rick said with a slight roll of the eyes.

“Oh, but this name isn’t exactly my name,” he said with a toothy grin.

Rick gave a little huff as he looked at him challengingly.

“Alright, let’s hear it.” 

The little pup cooed as if suddenly uncomfortable. Negan smiled down at her and ran his hand lightly over her head. 

“Megan.”

The little pup opened her eyes and blinked at him sleepily. Negan braced himself for Rick’s reaction. He looked like he was testing out the name as he looked down at his daughter.

“Megan huh? Just replacing the N with an M?” Rick asked with an air of suspicion.

“Come on smartass, it’s a beauty of a name.”

Rick considered it a few seconds longer before a big smile made it onto his face.

“You know, I like it. I think it suits her just fine.”

“Exactly what I was thinking.” As he stared into her little face, it dwelled on him that the war could go wrong. It was a war after all, and there were always losses on both sides. If he ended up as a casualty, then this moment would mark the last time he would see the newest addition to their family. He leaned down to kiss her forehead, then cleared his throat. “Take care of the little angel.”

“I’ll look after her,” Rick promised. “Just make sure you’re taking care of yourself out there.”

“I got the kid with me, and this.” He lifted his Lucille 2.0. Negan couldn’t help noticing the brief flash of fear the shadowed his face at the sight of it. Negan moved it out of sight by his side. “I, guess I better rev up the party. Can’t start a fight without a good speech right?”

He turned in the direction of the members now grouping together like soldiers. Among his soldiers was the king. By his side, Jerry was fixing his armor while Richard stood near, holding tightly to Shiva’s chain. The man eyed him warily, making Negan feel he would’ve liked nothing more than to unleash the tiger on him. He was still taken aback by Ezekiel’s insistence that the tiger was capable of fighting. Further on he saw some familiar faces in the Hilltop folks. Maggie was the one who caught his eye the most. She was currently chatting with Tara, Eugene, and Gabriel. Negan was sure she wasn’t talking about him, but when she looked his way, he got the impression she was. Providing tips on holding a gun was Carl, who seemed quite pleased to show off to Enid. And taking notice of him moving among them was Michonne and Daryl. Both were at the gate ready to go. Michonne smiled at him and gave an encouraging nod, which he returned. 

He stopped in the near center of them, unsure of how to go about this. This was Rick’s thing, not his. He had been the true Alpha’s Omega, but even if he hadn’t, it wasn’t his duty to make speeches and lead the crew. And yet it was what he wanted and needed. Leading a pack hadn’t been hard in his Alpha days at the Sanctuary, so he knew he could do it again. What was holding him back was creating the impression that Negan of the Saviors was somehow trying to take over again. 

Negan looked back at Rick who remained standing on their porch. This time he was joined by Jake and Lucy. From where he stood, he could see Lucy looked quite upset, and a second later she, along with Jake, were running at high speed toward him. 

“Hey, what’s up you two?” he asked once they crashed into his legs.

“We don’t want you to go,” Lucy cried.

“You won’t come back,” said Jake.

Negan ran his hands over their heads softly, then dropped down to their eye level.

“I will. I promised you two it won’t be like the last time.” He put up a smile, but it wasn’t yet convincing enough. “You see all these people around us? They’re coming with me, and together we’re gonna make sure we get the job out there done.”

“Why do you have to go?” Lucy persisted.

Negan dropped his head, not wanting to get into the specifics of it. But then he thought of a good and very simple way to put it.

“Because, it’s my job to protect you.”

He looked away from them and noticed several eyes watching him. With an expression of readiness, Negan slowly rose while rolling his eyes over the newly formed army.

“That’s what we do,” he addressed the crowd. “We protect each other. We do what we gotta do to survive.” He started to pace about on the spot, making eye contact with as many of them as possible. “We don’t like what we have to do, but sometimes we don’t have a goddamn choice. When someone takes something important from us, we fucking fight to get that shit back don’t we. DON’T WE!” There was a cheer of approve along with applause. “We defend ourselves against any crazy motherfucking asshole that hurts us or threatens to do us harm! These goddamn motherfuckers took our Alpha! I went through hell to get him back! I had to do whatever it took to get him.” His eyes found Rick. He was looking directly at him. Negan felt something in his chest churn sharply before he turned away. “What I did started something. Something that was bound to start from the moment our Alpha was taken. They’re preparing to fight and finish this. But I sure as shit can guarantee that we’ll be the one to finish this!”

He took in the nods and people readying their weapons. They were rearing to go, and so was he.

“WE KNOW WHAT WE HAVE TO FUCKING DO!....so let’s do it.”

The words were followed by growls and cheers of approval. If it weren’t for Rick’s kidnapping, he doubted they would have taken the Whisperer matter as personally as he had. 

As he tightened his grip around his rifle and bat and led the way toward the gates, he couldn’t help wondering how many of his people would make it out of the fight alive. Part of him wondered if they would really have to fight. Perhaps there was a chance that the Whisperers would turn tail and run upon seeing his army of combined packs. Earlier in the week, one of the few scouts they had sent out to their territory had returned with information about Beta gathering Alpha’s dead army. They had been set for war as well, and it was something he had to keep in mind. They were coming, and there was only one way to deal with it.

 

Bullets flew hard and fast, tearing into trees, and tearing into the decayed bodies of the walkers coming at them from across the field. The Whisperers’ quiet territory had become a war zone practically the moment Negan’s men had passed through their border. The trees provided good cover along with the crafted metal shields of the Hilltop.

“Goddamn,” Negan cursed as he fired continuous rounds into a mass of oncoming walkers.

So far it was just the dead coming, although it was possible some real men were mixed into the fray. From what he could tell, Beta was sending out the pawns first which was his walker army. At the same time, they were firing their shots with the use of arrows. The quieter weapon ensured that few walkers would turn back to go after their masters. They would instead be attracted to the gunfire from Negan’s team. 

“We can’t keep this up,” Carl said after targeting a walker that was getting uncomfortably close to his left-hand side. “We’ll run out of bullets before we hit the real Whisperers.”

“I know damn it,” he griped. “We gotta hold out for the other team remember? Stick to the plan. HEY!”

He ceased firing and waved to halt the firing of the others. He signaled over to Ezekiel who nodded, then turned to orchestrate the archers. They followed the Whisperers lead by firing arrows. In addition to the archers, Shiva was pouncing on nearby walkers. She scored high when she pounced onto an actual Whisperer and tore into his throat. Some Hilltop men risked stepping out from behind their covers to launch spears and directly off a walker with a knife in the skull. To Negan’s displeasure, Maggie took a risk by taking out a walker at close range. She narrowly missed an arrow that zoomed past her head and struck a poor Alexandrian.

“I got to get to Beta,” Negan growled. He ran over to a second tree. 

As a walker approached, he readied the gun just as said walker pulled up a knife, ready to stab into his chest. Negan blew him away no problem, but a second walker was behind him, running with his knife raised. Aaron came out of nowhere and stabbed him in the back before he could reach him. 

“Owe you one,” Negan said appreciatively. 

“It’s about protecting each other right,” Aaron replied. 

They turned back to the field. It was so hard to tell who was a walker and who was a Whisperer, but in the scheme of things it didn’t matter. Both kept coming, and so far they weren’t on the losing end of the scale.

Negan lifted his gaze to the tree line where the firing Whisperers and Beta were hidden.

“You think our people are close yet?” Aaron asked.

“I think they’re—”

His words fell dead as an arrow had suddenly embedded itself into Aaron’s head. The stunned expression barely had a chance to manifest on Aaron’s face before he dropped to the ground.

“NO!”

Negan dropped beside him and curled his fingers into his shirt. His heart was pounding hard and the sweated rolled off of him as anxiety started to take effect. Omegas weren’t quite built for the stress and loss of war, and yet he’d been able to handle it well up until this point it seemed. He expected losses, but to lose someone he knew well right before his eyes, hit home hard. He was so caught off guard, he failed to register the gurgles of a walker before it was right upon him. Before he could react, the side of its head exploded from a well-aimed hit. 

Negan turned to his savior and was amazed to see Rick standing there with his gun held out.

“Stay focused Negan. I’m not gonna lose you like this.”

His gun was lowering at the sight of Aaron on the ground.

“Rick! What the hell are you doing here? What about the pups? And your damn wound?”

“It wasn’t impossible to get a pupsitter when I decided my place was out here,” he said with a fierce growl. “I’m well enough to be here. This is personal for me too remember?”

“Well you can have the leftovers, because Beta’s mine,” Negan said with an air of heightened anger. “I gotta get to Beta. This’ll be done once we take out the second in command.”

“We’ll flush him out. We just have to be…”

He trailed off as the sound of some commotion drifted to them from the other side. They could just make out the Whisperers turning their attention on something from behind them. Negan smiled, knowing exactly what it was.

“That’s fucking more like it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to go with a different approach with the war by just jumping right in with bullets already flying.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of the Whisperer war

In the time he had come to follow Alpha, he had caught a few whispers about how he could be quite an effective leader. He easily inspired fear into their enemies and commanded attention when he had an order to give from Alpha. Some had told him right off the bat that he should’ve presented as an Alpha since he came across as a forceful Alpha, but it was never a great concern to him. It didn’t matter what the others thought. He preferred his position as Beta and wouldn’t have it any other way.

But that wasn’t the case now. Upon coming across his Alpha’s body and decapitated head, the world had seemed to die along with her right then. He wasn’t supposed to waste time grieving. He was supposed to rally the troops and take her place. Well he had done that, though he did make time to howl in pain. He had gathered up her dead and returned to base with a clear motive. 

He knew who was to blame, and he would strike said person down.

Across the field, he watched Negan’s army fight his onslaught of walking dead. Rarely did he ever smile, but he pulled one onto his face as he imagined one of his men, dead or alive, tearing into Negan’s neck. He knew it would happen eventually. He was a patient man, so he didn’t mind waiting. 

When they switched to a quieter form of gunfire in the form of arrows, it didn’t irk him. The dead were distracting and overpowering. They were capable of overwhelming their opponents. It was the greatest weapon Alpha had ever conceived for them. He shut his eyes briefly, hating that she couldn’t be here to witness the downfall of a man she’d come to wrongfully trust. The others had pointed out her error caused her own downfall, but Beta wouldn’t see it that way. One man was responsible and one man only.

“ _I will make you proud_ ,” he promised her under his breath. 

“Beta, we should move in,” an Omega male suggested. The man seemed eager to just run out there and start slashing with his knife, but Beta didn’t believe it was the right move. They needed to wear the enemy down.

“Not yet,” he ordered coldly. “There will be a moment. But Negan is mind.”

“I know. You’ve told us.”

Beta puffed up his chest and growled low and deep, forcing the Omega back into submission with a bowed head. He turned and began to shuffle away while Beta kept his eyes on the battlefield. For that reason, he failed to notice a sudden wall of walkers behind their line, but the Omega saw immediately.

“Beta! Look!”

Beta turned and growled at the sight. The walkers that were coming up to them from behind were not part of their own army. His own live men were slow to catch on to what was happening at their backs as they continued to fire at the enemy. Some paid the price dearly as some walkers were able to tear into his men, filling the air with screams and yowls.

“NO!” Beta roared. As he pulled his knife and hurried forward to hack away at the problem, he knew right away the cause of the surprise attack. Negan had used their move on Terry’s pack against them. 

“BETA! Beta…HELP!”

The Omega male he’d been talking to was surrounded by hungry corpses who reached out for him and bit at his arm when he tried fighting back. Panicked, he reached out to his leader for a hand, but Beta refused to give it. All he could do was growl as he already knew the man was lost to him. 

“DESTROY THEM! DESTROY!” Beta commanded.

They didn’t need telling twice as they turned their weapons away from the living to their long time alliance. When they did, they realized there was another twist to the surprise. Some walkers swerved out of the way and pulled guns to shoot back. 

With a roar of offense, Beta made to attack one of the false Whisperers. His long knife was stopped as it clanged against a sword that one of the masked members suddenly pulled. From behind her walker mask, Michonne fell into something of a sword fight against the beast. 

She managed to clip his hand and knock one of his knives into the air. Beta howled but didn’t charge into her as he was far more interested in going for the fallen knife. 

“Bitch!”

A Whisperer went barreling into Michonne, making her scream as a knife entered her shoulder.

“Michonne!”

A masked Tara came in her defense, blasting the attacker away. 

“You alright?” she asked the warrior who had fallen against a tree.

She hissed in pain and grabbed at her shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m alright.” 

Just as their hands touched, Tara fell sideways from a spear to the back. She choked in surprise and dropped to her knees as blood peppered her lips. Michonne watched, too stunned to move. In the chaos of the situation, all she could see was a fallen comrade until someone grabbed her from behind and forced her to her feet.

“Michonne! Hey! You okay?”

She looked at Daryl. His eyes were wide behind the walker mask he donned. It snapped her back into the reality she needed to remain in. She answered by swerving on the spot to slice a Whisperer in half as well as a walker that had stopped being fooled by her disguise. 

“This is getting out of hand,” she noted. 

The dead army they had strung along was doing well to help decrease the Whisperer numbers, but it was slowly showing signs of backfiring as they started to turn on their masters. At this point they weren’t choosy about which side of the war their meal came from. 

“This ends with Beta! Where is he?” Daryl growled.

Michonne turned to where she’d seen him go for the knife, but he wasn’t there. While dodging and killing a mix of walkers and members, they tried to keep their eyes out for the brute.

“There he goes!” someone shouted.

Daryl looked in the direction the man was pointing and just caught Beta storming off through the trees with two knives at the ready. Daryl had a clear idea of where he was headed.

 

Negan knew the smart thing to do was to stay by his people’s side. Even though they had the upper hand, he needed to remain to keep up their encouragement and alter any plans if something changed on the battlefield. That task was handed down to Carl and Maggie because there was something important he needed to do.

Across the field he had caught a flash of the ugly bastard fleeing through the woods. Negan figured the man was attempting to go lone wolf and ambush him. He couldn’t see him deserting his crew to their attack; not when Beta wanted his head so badly. The man was coming for him, and Negan was more ready than ever to face him. So he hurried through the trees hoping to cut him off in time. No one else need get involved. This was a matter between them only.

With his updated bat, Negan jumped out of a thicket of brambles just as Beta arrived. The secluded, quieter area was broken up by Negan’s heavy pants. He eyed Beta close who was also breathing just as heavily and giving him the darkest, deadliest look.

“I don’t imagine…you missed me,” Negan managed to joke.

He tightened his grip on the handle, ready to make a move.

“ _Murderer_ ,” Beta growled in a tone that literally chilled him to the bone. He brought up his knives, also ready to go.

“She took my Alpha,” Negan growled.

The words momentarily confused Beta, until he got a whiff of him and realized he wasn’t the Alpha monstrosity that had walked into their pack. It didn’t seem to stun or upset him. All it seemed to do was piss him off even more.

With something of a war cry, he lurched. Negan was prepared and spun on the spot to avoid a bloody strike. He swung the bat with a cry of his own, striking Beta hard in the back. He felt like he had just tried to beat into a concreate wall.

“Goddamn!” he exclaimed.

Beta turned to him like a madman, spinning both hands wildly as he slashed in the air. He managed to snag onto his sleeve and make a cut into his left upper arm. Negan found a point to duck and pull a handgun from his waist. He fired shots that missed as Beta knocked it aside and smashed a fist into his cheek that sent him to the ground. How he wished his other gun hadn’t run out of bullets.

“Negan! The hell!”

Both were distracted as Daryl, now mask-less, suddenly joined the fray, wasting no time in clipping Beta with a shot to the hip and right shoulder. It slowed Beta down, but not enough. Daryl would’ve gladly given him more if his weapon hadn’t chosen then to jam up.

“Piece of shit.”

He tossed it aside and favored using his own version of double knives. Negan pulled himself to his feet with his bat at the ready. He grimaced at the feeling of blood running down the side of his face. Apparently he had failed to notice Beta’s knife had caught him extremely close. 

“Two on one,” Negan noted as the three circled each other warily. “I like these fucking odds.”

Both launched themselves at the beast just as he raised both knives in the air. Daryl hissed with pain as he got slashed, unable to land a good strike, while Negan managed to club him good in the side. Beta howled and dipped in pain, giving Daryl the opportunity to land a kick in his chest. Negan took a turn next, swinging hard and cracking the bat across his cheek. Blood coated the nails and flew like fireworks. It was then that Beta turned into a ram and knocked Negan hard into the dirt. He quickly landed several punches to the Omega’s face before Daryl dug a knife into Beta’s back. 

Spitting and growling like a mad bull, he swung the knife, catching Daryl under the eye. Negan tripped him up, making him stumble. With a vicious growl, Daryl jumped into him and brought the knives down. The beast blocked it and kicked him off hard, but when he made it to his feet, Negan was ready with a well-aimed swing. He put as much force into the movement as he possibly could as an Omega. And as the bat made perfect contact with the side of Beta’s face, the bat cracked in two, exploding into a shower of splinters. 

Negan barely acknowledged the bleeding Beta struggling on the ground, clutching at the torn left-hand side of his face. Much of his mask had been pulled away along with large pieces of flesh from his head. Now he was gurgling angrily and struggling to make at least one last hit.

Negan was still stunned by the destruction of the bat, but when he shifted his eyes to the monster below, he was revved up enough to finish this.

Wordlessly Daryl tossed him a knife, and Negan wasted no time in bringing it down hard and fast into his chest. He listened to the cry of pain and watched as the eyes rolled.

“Die you son of a bitch. Die!” Negan growled harshly.

Beta’s body trembled, but a moment later it fell still. It almost seemed impossible that his past guard and potential executioner was lying dead right in front of him. He barely breathed, and his whole body was shaking.

“You gotta stab him in the—”

Negan did the deed before he could finish the sentence by jamming the knife into his skull.

“Head.”

With a shaky breath, Negan removed what was left of his Whisperer mask. Negan wasn’t sure what to expect underneath. Phantom of the Opera briefly came to his mind. Aside from the disfiguring he had caused with his bat, Beta looked like a fairly normal man. He appeared rugged, but other than that he was far from an ugly bastard. In all the time he’d been among the Whisperers, he’d seen most of the members shed their masks, but Beta had always kept his in place, as though he had treated it like a new face. He wondered if Alpha had twisted him to the point where he believed he was more of a walker than a man. It didn’t matter now as he would never know.

He got to his feet with the piece of the mask clutched tightly in one hand, and what remained of the bat in the other.

“It’s over,” Negan declared quietly.

“Sure looks that way,” Daryl agreed.

Smiling, Negan turned to him.

“Thanks for the hand. Tag teaming did the trick on this motherfucker.”

“You’re a member of this pack. We protect each other, like you said.”

There was no look of offense in the Beta’s eyes. The man really meant what he’d said, and Negan felt touched. It had taken a long time, but Daryl had finally come around to accepting him. He gave a nod of gratitude as he swallowed hard.

“Come on. Let’s see what the damage is after all this shit.”

 

He was relieved to see that the war had come to an end. Some were finishing off the last of Alpha’s proud undead army, while others, under Rick’s watch, had gathered together the Whisperers that had managed to survive the ordeal. They were down on their knees with their hands on their heads as Rick had them held at gunpoint. 

Negan made his way up to them, not quite feeling the need to gloat about the victory. 

“Looks like you barely made it,” Rick said as he took a moment to touch the wound on Negan’s head, making him hiss.

“And look at you,” Negan remarked with a tone of jealousy. “Barely a scratch on your ass. Not fucking fair.”

He turned to the kneeling enemy and raised the mask in clear view.

“Your damn leader is dead. First Alpha, now Beta. You don’t have a damn reason to fight anymore. The beef was between me and Beta. But if you fucks want to make something of it, make a motherfucking move. I dare you.”

No one made a move to do anything. A few shook fearfully or bowed their heads. They looked pretty weak and pitiful.

“We should kill them,” Daryl advised.

Negan looked to Rick who gave him a curious nod with a raised brow.

“This is your war. I think the decision should be left up to you.” 

It was something for the true Alpha to leave such a major choice in his hands. Matters of war were normally left up to the pack leader, and yet Rick had trusted him enough to take the lead and even lay down the fate of their enemy. 

Negan already knew the choice he wanted to make. Much of it was based on Rick’s own feelings about people, but the other side had to do with looking past the masks. Only seven of Alpha’s people remained, and from what he could see in their eyes, they were done. They were far too scared to go on now that they’d lost horrible. He could sense that easily enough.

He moved closer to them, and they cowered in response as though he was an Alpha. No one cowered for an Omega, which showed the kind of impression he’d made on them.

“The last time I gave strangers a chance, they fucked me over. I wanted to follow my Alpha’s lead on how to treat people.” He shot Rick a look before turning back to their prisoners. “In the past, I would’ve beat one of you motherfuckers to a bloody headless pulp, and have the rest of you work for me. But I’m not that man anymore. I don’t want to be that man.” Everyone waited, holding their breaths as Negan observed the men. “I won’t kill you.”

The kneeling seven seemed ready to fall over with relief. 

“Something has to be done,” Maggie growled. “What about Jesus? They killed him.”

“Beta killed him, by orchestrating this shit,” Negan countered. “Hell, I as good as started the whole damn thing when I killed their leader, so you want to blame someone, blame me. The war’s over, and I think there’s been enough killing for one day.”

Maggie stared back, showing signs of wanting to argue, but she held back as she contemplated his words. 

“They can’t stay.”

“No,” he agreed as he turned back to the men. “Take off your damn masks. You don’t get to pretend anymore.” 

They were slow to respond, but they followed his order and tugged the skins off their heads. They looked quite vulnerable now that they were exposed. Negan walked over to Daryl and took one of his knives. The men on the ground tensed and huddled into one another, but Negan didn’t make a move to hurt them.

“Now that this is done, you’re gonna help us clean up around here. Help us cart the bodies, and give up your stash. After that, we’ll see if any of these fine packs will be willing to give you a second chance. If you don’t want that second chance, you’re done.”

They gave nods of understanding. Negan sighed with relief and stepped away to take a moment for himself. The pat he felt on his back from Rick assured him that everything would be okay now. As he smiled at Rick, he was assured that it was really over. They were safe at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I liked the idea of Daryl and Negan working together against the enemy. It gave the two a chance to kind of resolve their rocky relationship. Negan deciding to spare the few Whisperers at the end was inspired by Rick sparing the Saviors at the end of the Savior war in the show.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After everything, Negan receives a pleasant surprise

As he strolled past the crowds under large banners and balloons, Negan had to admit the fair had come together in a fantastic way. The Kingdom made the perfect set up for it as there was plenty of space for the many booths. All around him people were stopping to make trades or checking out the artistic skills of those that had created sculptures or actual paintings. Some were lined up to get a plate of something delicious for lunch. A few others preferred to take in the treats like popcorn, cupcakes, or cookies. In some places people were showing off a certain skill like blacksmithing, and teaching spectators. Most of the kids were hurrying up to the nearest gaming booth to try a version of a carnival game clever members were able to make up.

Negan recalled not being interested unless he discovered the fair would have rides, but he saw the fair was doing quite well without it. The turnout was great. Members from both the Hilltop and Alexandrian packs were present and having a great time. After the war with the Whisperers, this was much needed.

“I still can’t believe old King Cole managed to get this shit together.”

“Swear!” Jake pointed out as he turned back to his mommy.

Negan smiled at him and moved one of his hands to ruffle his hair. The other hand was securely wrapped around little Megan who, so far had no interest in the fair as she was snoozing away. 

“You know he didn’t do it alone,” Rick pointed out as he walked beside Negan. 

“Well he and Maggie, and you, did a hell of a job.”

“Daddy I wanna play that!”

They looked down at Lucy. She was tugging Rick’s hand and pointing in the direction of a dunking booth. The unfortunate victim in the seat happened to be Eugene. 

“You think you’ve got a mean enough swing for it?” Negan teased.

She nodded confidently, making him laugh.

“Alright princess. Why don’t you show off for us.”

Lucy ran ahead with Jake hurrying after her. 

“Haven’t seen Carl in a while,” Negan pointed out. “I bet he got lost considering how much the Kingdom changed for this thing.”

“I don’t think he’s lost.” 

Rick nodded in a certain direction and Negan followed his gaze. Under a tree near the picnic area, Carl was standing with Enid. Carl said something that made her smile and a second later their lips were locked.   
“They grow up so fast,” Negan said with a slight air of bitterness. 

“He’s an Alpha now,” Rick stated proudly.

“And it looks like he’s just claimed his first Omega,” Negan pointed out. 

That fact alone had his insides churning uncomfortably. After things had died down from the war, Negan had thought Rick would reclaim him. Negan never outright asked about it, but he had hinted at it hard enough for it to be obvious to Rick. But in the whole week following the war, Rick never showed interest in doing it. He would find ways around the subject or express his interest in keeping things the way they were, with them being on an even level without the situation of a bond between them.

Negan tried not to express sorrow about it. Instead he tried to reason that it might be what he deserved after everything. He was just too much to deal with overall. Well with that being the case, he supposed it was a good chance to work on himself to be a better Omega.

“There’s no way I will feel any form of precipitation,” Eugene said in a challenging manner as Lucy stepped up with a baseball in her hand.

She stuck her tongue out at him before tossing the ball at the target. Her first strike was a miss.

“Second time’s a charm honey,” said Negan. “You got your good arm from me afterall.”

Rosita, who was over the booth, handed her another ball.

“You got this girl.”

Lucy concentrated hard on her target, then let the ball fly. This time she nailed it and she squealed with delight as Eugene dropped into the water with a big splash.

“That’s my girl!” Negan cheered. “High five.”

Grinning, she gave her mommy a high five, then did the same to her daddy.

“I want a turn, I want a turn!” Jake shouted.

“Step right up son,” said Rick.

Jake eagerly took his sister’s place and grabbed a ball. He was so eager to try his hand he threw the ball before Eugene was properly seated again. Like Lucy he missed his first throw. Rick applauded the effort before moving close to Negan.

“Can you watch them for a few minutes? There’s something I gotta do.”

“If you’re going to take a shit, just say so. No need to be embarrassed since we all do it,” Negan said with a smirk that had Rick practically rolling his eyes. 

“Trust me, that’s not what I’m doing.”

He clapped him on the shoulder before walking away. Negan shifted Megan in his arms which bothered her enough to start complaining.

“Easy now sweetheart. You’ll get your shot at Eugene when you’re older.”

“I bet she’s a lot to handle,” Rosita commented as she moved over to coo at the pup.

“She can be at times,” Negan confessed. “She tends to be feistier than Lucy.”

“That’s cause she takes after you.”

They both looked around as Daryl walked up with Dog at his side. 

“Putting me down?” Negan questioned jokingly, “and after we fought together.”

“It was a compliment believe it or not,” Daryl joked back. “Where’s Rick?”

“Off taking a shit, but he’s too ashamed to admit it.” Negan glanced down at Megan and missed a curious exchange of looks between Daryl and Rosita. “That or he’s tired of dragging us around.”

A cry of determination stole his attention from the pup. Under the gazebo, Michonne was showing off her fighting skills with the katana as she swung it quickly through the air. The people gathered near applauded her. There were a select few who were copying her movements with wooden swords of their own. 

“Hold onto her for minute will yah. Gonna go see if I can sign up for Michonne’s class.”

He deposited Megan into Daryl’s arm.

Negan made his way to the gazebo, giving nods and smiles to the people he passed. It really was a relief to go from being the people’s enemy to being someone who didn’t stand for fear and death. He was accepted and welcomed. Maybe a few tossed him looks of distrust, but it wasn’t like the cold shoulder he’d received in the past. Such a thing made him really feel like one of them.

“Let me guess, it’s too late to join,” Negan teased once she stopped her demonstration.

Michonne smiled and stepped down toward him.

“Not unless you brought your own sword,” she said after glancing down at his empty hands.

“Ah, I must have left mine at home. Any chance I can use the real thing?” He eyed the sword with a brow raised in great interest. Michonne pulled it back possessively.

“Not on your life,” she said, smiling. Negan just chuckled. “So, how are you enjoying the fair?”

“It came together.” He turned away from her in favor of taking it in once more. “Almost makes me feel like things are back to normal.”

“I think things will be back to normal,” she countered. “At least as normal as it can get nowadays.”

“Next time we do this, Alexandria should host it. And I am definitely fucking topping this by finding a way to build a rollercoaster.”

Michonne flat out laughed.

“You want to build a rollercoaster?”

“Why the hell not? It’s the one thing this fair’s missing. I could get Eugene in on this and we’ll have it done with enough loops and twists to make you puke all three meals.”

“Great.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Negan noticed Ezekiel stepping out of the upper floor to his house and onto a balcony that overlooked the whole Kingdom. Others had also taken notice and were walking over as he appeared to be preparing to make a speech. Negan looked back at the dunking booth, believing Rick would’ve come back by then, but he wasn’t near his pups. He searched the crowd, but saw no sign of him.

“Where the hell did Rick go?”

“I think I know. Come.”

Michonne gave no hints of her thoughts as she hooked her arm in his and began walking him toward Ezekiel’s house.

“Why are you acting all suspicious all of a sudden?” 

“I’m not.”

“Right.”

Though he had a feeling something was up, he allowed her to guide him along. When they reached the front, Rick just happened to be standing at the front doors.

“Rick? The hell are you up to? Planning on running away with the king?”

“Not exactly. I got it from here Michonne.”

She released his arm and moved away. Negan didn’t miss the little smile that played on her lips. 

“What’s going on?” Negan pushed as Rick led him inside and toward a set of stairs.

“You’ll see.”

He could sense the Alpha getting excited, and dare he say aroused. Negan put it aside for the moment as Rick brought him out onto the balcony to join Ezekiel. There was a big smile on the king’s face when he took a moment to look at him. After that he shifted his gaze to Rick who nodded, which confused Negan even more.

“What the hell is—”

“My people!” King Ezekiel greeted as he turned to the newly formed crowd down below. “I believe I can say with much confidence you are enjoying yourselves well at this get-together.” There were cheers and growls of approval in response. “That is what I like to hear. It pleases me that even in this world, we are still able to join together and experience something as grand as our fair. I imagine it would be a different story had we still had our enemy to deal with, and if Rick Grimes of Alexandria had not been returned to us.” He paused again, letting the applause happen as he looked around at Rick who waved to the crowd. “We have one man to thank for our fortunate turn of events, and I am honored that he could join us on this day.” 

This time Ezekiel turned his attention to Negan who was not prepared for the spin of attention on himself. No one booed his name or growled. Instead they showed the same respect they had when cheering for Rick. Negan gave a nod to them, but felt a bit of discomfort for being put on the spot in such a way. From past experience, it was rarely ever good. 

“Though we have lost people on our fight to keep the peace, the sun shines brightly upon us. Enjoy this day. Laugh and take pride in the riches before us!”

The crowd clapped and cheered louder than ever. Ezekiel then took a step back and Rick moved forward. Negan was still confused by what was happening, but joined in the applause for the king.

“I’ll start by saying I appreciate everyone’s efforts in trying to track me down,” Rick began. “I admit there had been times when I lost hope of coming back alive, but I managed to do so, thanks to Negan.” Said man dropped his head and shifted on the spot as Rick looked to him. “Those of you not from Alexandria are probably not aware of just how much life had changed in my pack when Negan became my Omega. Everyone’s aware of his history, and for the longest time no one could accept what I had done when I first claimed him. It had been accidental at the time. Claiming him was my way of subduing him during a fight, but from that point on I was determined to make it work. And it did. I have three beautiful pups because of him, and I have learned how to be a better Alpha just like he learned how to be a better man. That’s why, I would like nothing better than to reclaim him. But this time, I’m asking.”

Negan’s eyes widened, and his mouth dropped at this sudden proposal. He stepped forward, feeling as though he was walking on air. The crowd below had quieted as they awaited his answer. 

“The hell…you mean that’s what this is? You planned to reclaim me like this the whole time?”

“I wanted to make it even more official, and in the perfect setting,” Rick explained. “To do it before my pack, and also my allied packs, makes you truly one of us.”

The Omega felt himself trembling a little, and when he swallowed nervously it went down rough. 

“As an Alpha, and a true fucking one at that, you didn’t have to ask permission to claim me.”

In response, Rick grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him closer. He gave his gland a light squeeze that had him slumping.

“You’re right. But I’m asking because I want to. We’re on equal footing afterall. Besides that, I already know it’s what you want.”

“Prick,” Negan muttered as if annoyed. A smile seeped its way onto his face as he fell to his knees before Rick with his head bowed, exposing his gland clearly. “You know me too well.”

Rick didn’t hesitate as he bit down hard. Negan tensed up as the electrical like shock traveled through him and paralyzed him on the spot. It was just like the first time all over again, only this time he welcomed the claim. The familiar possessive growls of his reinstated Alpha filled his ears more than the growls of approval from the packs on the ground. Rick’s essence seeped into his nerves and resettled the man as his partner and mate. 

Negan felt his chest swelling in relief and gratitude as a few tears flowed from his eyes. He was Rick’s Omega again, and officially a true member of the pack. 

 

With all three pups being looked after by Michonne for the night, and Carl spending some time at Hilltop, Rick was free to seal the claim through knotting. 

Negan shed his clothes as he stood over Rick’s mattress. Said Alpha was growling softly as his eyes wandered over his body. It gave Negan a chill as he thought his Alpha’s hesitance was due to him being repulsed by what Terry might have done when he’d been his Alpha.

“He, he didn’t knot me,” Negan began slowly. “Terry I mean. He never…if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I wasn’t thinking that, but thanks for assuring me,” Rick stated as he began to remove his own clothing. “I was thinking how much I missed fucking you.”

As Negan could see, his Alpha was already standing at attention below. When he came forward and grabbed the back of his neck, he didn’t resist. He submitted to being turned down upon the mattress onto his belly. Negan had long since become wet enough to take in his Alpha, and was more than ready to be entered. He shifted his hips upward, making it easier on Rick as he mounted him from behind. His cock teased him as it tickled his entrance. Rather than dive right in, Rick started with nipping at his gland like he’d always done. It made Negan shiver in delight and moan.

“Fuck.”

“I take it you’re not sorry you’re unclaimed anymore,” Rick joked.

“It was fucking fun while it lasted, but I sure as fuck missed being bonded like this.”

“It hasn’t happened yet.”

“Then fucking do something about it.”

Rick gave a slight warning growl before clamping on his neck and shoving himself inside. Negan whined as his Alpha moved in deeper, settling himself in where he’d always belonged. A rumbling growled sounded from Rick’s throat as he released his neck in favor of nipping again.

“Mine,” he whispered, sending a chill up Negan’s spine. 

Yes, he very much was Rick’s and no one else’s. 

His hips started to move slowly as if getting a feel for how to go about screwing his Omega. Negan understood that Rick wanted to savor the moment. It hadn’t been this way the first time Rick had claimed him. Rick had acted out of intense instinct as he’d been in heat at the time. The toes of the Omega curled as Rick took the thrusting nice and slow. Everything was tingling, and his body was warming up not just from the thrusting but from the Alpha’s body lying atop his back. When Rick hit especially deep, Negan gave a cry of pleasure.

“Nice to know…you haven’t…forgotten shit,” Negan pointed out while rolling his hips back into Rick’s slower pace.

“How could I? I never changed from being an Alpha, unlike some people.”

“Careful. I might just go changing back on you,” Negan joked.

As if to make something of his comment, Rick picked up the pace and started thrusting fast and deep. Negan’s nerves were set afire as his body arched and welcomed the more intense movements. Unconsciously his hips matched his Alpha’s, keeping them perfectly in sync with one another like old times. In a matter of minutes Negan was panting.

“Fuck…just…Jesus…”

“Nice to know…I can still excite you,” Rick panted.

Negan raised himself up a bit, and Rick took the opportunity to run his fingers over his bouncing breasts. It was enough to push the Omega over the edge as he arched into him and cried out loudly. Minutes later, his Alpha’s full dick started to grow as it hit the stages of forming a knot. Negan never loved knots much, but in this case his body seemed to sing from the fullness of it. There appeared to be more pleasure behind it, and Negan was sure it was because he had been reclaimed.

Rick gave a few more hard thrusts before slowing down and resting on his back. Negan’s body jerked pleasurably as Rick released his first load deep inside him. 

“If this results in another pup, I’m not sure if I’m ready,” Negan said tiredly as he rested flat upon the mattress. He whined as Rick went back to mouthing his gland.

“Experience proves you don’t get pregnant the first round, or did you forget?”

“I didn’t forget anything about being an Omega,” he said quietly. “And after what you just did, I’m really glad to be one again.”

“Well, it’s official now,” Rick said once his knot was set in place. “You are officially claimed, by me. You’re mine.”

Negan smiled gratefully and shut his eyes.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was definitely not finishing this off without Rick reclaiming Negan. And with that, I added a bonus knotting scene. I liked the idea of Rick claiming Negan before a pack, and originally it was just going to be in Alexandria, but the fair, along with the other packs added to the occasion.   
> One more chapter to go!


	42. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. I appreciate you guys for following. Thank you so much :)

**8 years later**

Negan tensed up nervously as he unknowingly dried a plate repeatedly from that morning’s breakfast. He glanced out the window a few times, feeling a bit anxious as he noticed pups running about playing.  
“Today, I’m telling them today,” he promised himself.

The sound of someone walking around the corner of the kitchen caught his attention. Rick was in the doorway straightening the gun at his waist.

“You promise me you’ll come back,” Negan ordered.

“Don’t I always?” Rick teased. It had become a ritual the few times Rick ran out on a run. Negan felt he would always need the promise of a return so as to avoid the scare of his disappearance four years ago. 

“Okay.” He went back to drying the same plate. 

“Something up?” Rick questioned, sensing his Omega’s feelings. He entered and bit him gently on the neck, making him whine.

“I uh, was thinking about telling them, today,” he confessed with a bowed head.

“You were going to try and tell them, while I was out?”

“I’m a grown ass man. I should be able to do this.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to do it alone,” Rick reasoned. He walked to the window in search of their pups. “Tell you what, I’ll send Daryl out in my place and I’ll stay here with you, for support.”

“You don’t have to,” Negan insisted.

“No, I feel like I do.”

Negan felt something catch in his throat. Unable to speak for the moment, he just nodded. He set the plate aside, ready to follow through with his plan.

“Alright. I’ll wrangle the little monsters.”

 

As Rick set out to track down Daryl, Negan chose to follow the sound of laughing pups. It was a bright sunny day, which he took as a positive sign. In the years that had passed, no harm had come to Alexandria. The Whisperers had been the last real threat in a while, but Negan knew it could change on a dime. The concern some had had over allowing a few Whisperers to survive had not backfired. Said people had been desperate to survive and were willing to work up to a trustworthy status with Hilltop. Negan had felt quite thankful for it. It had been his desire to trust them, and it was nice to know the world wasn’t always filled with assholes ready to back stab. 

Negan turned his attention to the picnic tables where he noticed Michonne nipping at the neck of her newly claimed Omega. She flashed him a smile when she saw him. Negan returned it, feeling happy for her. When he passed the church he gave Gabriel, who was standing on the porch, a wave. The Alphas and Betas he passed greeted him when before most would have narrowed their eyes and stayed silent. Things had definitely changed for the better, and his standing among the pack members couldn’t have been better.

Up ahead, he noticed a baseball game going on featuring pups as the players. Overseeing the friendly game was Carl. Negan still hadn’t given into the idea of coaching a league. Parenting felt like enough of a job being that Megan was now four. 

And speaking of said pup, Negan saw she was up to bat. Being that the game wasn’t treated like anything serious with the players going against another team, the youngest among them was allowed to participate. Helping her hold the plastic bat was her big sister Lucy. She stood behind her lending a hand to the bat as well and seemingly whispering words of encouragement. 

“Lucy come on, you’ve done that enough times. She’s got it,” Jake whined from the side lines as he threw a baseball into his catcher’s mitt several times. 

“Throw!” Megan demanded to the pitcher who appeared uncertain about letting a four year old play. He threw it nonetheless, keeping her age and height in mind.

Lucy released her hold and let Megan swing. To their surprise she connected nicely with the ball, but it was far from a home run. Still, it was impressive.

“Holy shit! I told you she had it!” Lucy cheered.

“Fuck yeah!” Jake joined in. The pup had long since passed the days of correcting people on their use of language as he now joined in on cursing.

“Jake! Lucy!” Negan reprimanded as he walked over. “I know I didn’t hear those words come out your mouths just now.”

Both looked flustered at having been caught; Jake more so than Lucy.

“I can’t have Megan picking up on it, and I sure as fu…heck, can’t have Rick on my back on this.”

“Sorry,” they apologized with heads bowed. Lucy broke her apologetic expression quickly as she just laughed under her breath.

“Did you come to watch us play?” Jake asked.

Megan got tired of swinging the bat around and dropped it in favor of running up to Negan.

“Actually…” He felt himself choking up just as he had whenever he got ready to do this. As he took in the other pups they were playing with, it didn’t feel exactly right to do it now. “Yeah, I did come to watch, so you better impress your mother. But first, I’ve gotta catch your father about something.”

When Negan returned from letting his Alpha know he would wait, he took a seat near the playing field as the pups resumed playing. As much as he liked watching them, his insides were twisting nervously.

 

Later that evening, Negan was seated on the couch with Megan perched next to him, peering at the images of a book he was reading to her.

“And so, the momma bear tucked little bear in for a good night’s rest,” he finished before closing the book.

“Again!” Megan demanded. 

“No again. I’ve given you two stories tonight. Your brother and sister weren’t even that lucky when they were little like you.”

She batted her big brown eyes at him and pouted, making him drop the stern look upon his face.

“Well, actually I have another story, but this one’s not just for you.” He couldn’t see a better time than right then to bring up what he had wanted to for years. “Hey Carl!”

The eldest had been passing by after having left the kitchen for a drink of water.

“Yeah?”

“Bring the rest of our cozy little family inside. I got something to tell them.”

“Okay.”

Thinking nothing of it, Carl headed outside where Rick had been occupying the pups before they settled down completely for the night. 

“What kind of story is it mommy?” Megan asked curiously.

“It’s a story about me sweetheart,” he said softly as he brushed his fingers through her hair.

As the others came through the door, Negan caught his Alpha’s eye and gave the slightest nod, letting him know he was ready. Rick smiled with encouragement and wheeled the pups into the living room.

“Carl said you had something to say,” Jake pointed out.

“I do,” Negan said. He set the book aside and straightened up in his seat as the pups, Carl, and Rick, found a seat around him. “In fact, it’s something I’ve wanted to say years ago, but I didn’t have the courage to do it.”

“Mommy said it’s about him,” Megan pointed out to her siblings.

“You?” Lucy questioned.

Negan noticed Carl trading a knowing look with Rick. When he faced him again, he seemed proud. 

“Yes, me.” 

He cleared his throat and dropped his head as he thought back to his old self. His Alpha self that had altered and destroyed lives in terrible ways. He would never forget that side to himself. Such memories didn’t deserve to be buried as if they’d never happened. He would always take it with him as he continued to better himself to the pack and his family.

The feeling of fingers on his cupped hands caught his attention. Rick was crouched near him, offering a comforting touch. 

“You sure you want to do this?” he asked.

“I need to,” he said after a hard swallow. He faced his children who were all giving him perplexed looks. He sighed heavily, then leaned back in the couch. “You guys, have grown up to know me a certain way. You’ve known me to be good.”

“You are good mommy,” Lucy declared. She jumped onto the couch next to him and squeezed his arm.

“Thanks, but, I haven’t always been,” he said slowly. “And I wasn’t always an Omega.” He expected the raised brows and dropped mouths at this bit of his confession. “It’s true. I turned into one, but before I did, I was an Alpha. And as an Alpha, I was a bad man. I, hurt people. I hurt your father, and I hurt this pack.”

Negan continued to let his pups know who their mother had been. Without giving up the grisly details, he shared a part of his past that seemed almost nonexistent after all this time, but was still a part of him and was responsible for leading him down the path to be the person he was now. And in the end, he expressed how his union with Rick and their births molded him into being a man that he and others could be proud of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for following this story, back from the first story "Changed Nature" to this sequel! I'm glad I decided to go ahead and write this idea that had built up after I completed the first story. In the past I've had difficulty finishing a sequel, but I set up a goal to finish before the season 10 premiere of the show. I'm happy to have had a follow up with putting Negan in the front, and having him along with the packs go through the "changes", where Negan became stronger and the pack fully accepted him. I definitely wanted to circle back to the beginning with Negan confessing to his pups about who he started off being to wrap the whole story up.  
> So with that, Negan and his family and pack are happily together.
> 
> Thanks again for reading and leaving awesome reviews!

**Author's Note:**

> It feels good to get back into this again and start a fresh journey for the new year!


End file.
